"You look like you've seen a ghost" Javi chuckled; whatever residual confusion in his mind was washed over by the sweet relief of being acknowledged. Amelia was acting weird, but who wasn't, today? At least she was acting less weird.
"And I thought you'd be a bit more excited about seeing a ghost" he continued, joking.
"I— do you—" she tried to form understandable, sensible sentences but she didn't know what to say.
Was he playing with her? Did he know he was a ghost?
He stared at her, with a piercing gaze, as if trying to figure out what was going on inside her mind, then finally relaxed, she was here, she was acknowledging his presence, she was talking to him. Maybe she was a little shaken up for whatever reasons, but she'd be fine, right?
"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" She asked, trying to make some, any sense of what was happening. If he were a ghost, he was in no way actually aware of the fact, or he wouldn't have been having such a... normal conversation with her. He was confused to say the least. Her mind was in overdrive, thinking of all possible scenarios, and possibilities, but seeing his calm, almost too innocent face, she realised she needed to put him, and his feelings before her own.
Her obsession with ghosts could wait.
She needed to know what had happened to him.
"I..." he started but then decided against it, his tone turning apologetic, "I didn't wanna make you feel awkward, Amelia, I— I mean, I really like you" she could tell he was nervous, but she couldn't tell what he was going on about, "I acted on reflex, I was carried away in feelings... I just..." he sighed, gaze locked at his feet, "I just really wanted to kiss you..."
"You what?"
"I... still want to kiss you" he said nervously, "I want to. I really like you, Amelia, and I think we can be something" he said, now actually feeling afraid, "do you... don't you feel the same?" He asked, softly, mentally preparing himself for a cold rejection.
Her words surprised him though, "I do, Javi, I wanna kiss you too..." she said, her voice a bare whisper, "but I can't..."
His eyes searched hers for an explanation, anything of the sort, anything that would make sense of the words she had just said, but when she evaded it, looking down, he understood. Or at least he thought he did.
"It's Ollie isn't it?" He asked, his tone being carefully balanced, trying to contain the hurt, trying to stay calm.
"It's not Ollie!" She revolted, sat up, and looked him in the eye, "it's not Ollie, Javi, honestly, I don't know how to say it..." she looked on the verge of tears, in a flow of emotions, she said the words, "it's you!"
She regretted the words the moment they were out of her mouth. She watched his expression shift, as he turned from a flame to bare smoulders, right in front of her, and almost got up to leave.
But he didn't.
Because she spoke again.
"Javi do you even know what has happened to you?!" She questioned, trying to keep sane. She was talking to a ghost. The ghost of the boy who she had adored. The ghost of a boy who had tried to kiss her yesterday and had just admitted he had feelings for her. The ghost of a boy who was dead.
Dead.
"It's Ollie" he said, with finality in his voice, "I— I gotta go, Amelia" he got up, and before Amelia could say anything, he walked out on her.
A ghost had just walked out on her.
If there had been the smallest seed of doing in her mind, it was gone now, she believed it completely, as Javi walked away, she could see it— Something she hadn't even imagined, she would see when the day started— a faint halo around him. He didn't look as crystal clear as he had when he had been sitting in front of her, talking to her, communicating with her, as normal as she was used to seeing him. But as he walked away, he was almost translucent, fading, bathed in a deep violet aura, like that of his Ranger Powers... shimmering like stardust, and then fading into nothing.
She realised if she didn't act quick, she'd lose him for good.
"Javi wait!" She cried out to no one in particular, and chased after him, after that faint trail. Anyone who saw and heard her, in that moment, at Buzzblast, couldn't fathom what in the universe she was doing.
After all, none of them actually saw Javi there.
Javi of course, ran as fast as he could, the world around him a blur, while he tried to contain his emotions, that been taken as if by a whirlwind, scattering him like dead leaves. He had never been one to be very open with what he was feelings, always putting on a happy face, always pretending everything was okay. Truth was, he never trusted anyone enough to let his feelings loose, to trust someone to understand, to know things would've okay. He had started to do it with his friends, opening up slowly, but he knew he still had a long way to go.
Last night, when him and Amelia had been talking, his mind right now traced the moments, he breathed deeply, thinking. Remembering. His heart ached as he recalled the conversation, almost word by word.
They had been talking about music. Not just his music, their general music tastes. Amelia had told him she was reading a fantasy book that had something to do with Demons and Ghosts possessing people they loved after their deaths, and Javi had commented about how he almost always ended up associating a song, or a tune with anything he read. She had said she did the same with her books. This one in particular fit well with a bunch of Alan Walker songs.
They had started talking about songs then, and he was surprised to find out that actually no one had ever actually asked him what songs he liked. You know, other than his own.
The conversation had been deep, meaningful, moreso than anyone could imagine at a superficial level.
How can two people connect over music? Javi believed someone who knew music like he did would never need to ask that question.
What had happened then? She had wanted to kiss him too, but maybe it was in the moment...
Her words rang through his mind, "but I can't"
He felt angered, he knew Ollie had something to do with it, and tried to think rationally.
But it seemed his mind had given him a ditch. People were still continuing their charade of ignoring him, not acknowledging he existed.
Invisible as he was, he knew he was there. He could feel himself. And Amelia had talked to him. That had been proof enough for him. Otherwise he could've considered something was wrong with him.
He made his way to Ollie Akana's house.
Ollie was a good friend, and an even better ranger, sure, the two of them could talk about what was happening. He always looked at the logical side of things maybe he could explain everyone's strange behaviour.
And that's what he hoped for.
...
Strangely though, when he arrived at his friend's doorstep, he found the Akana's doorway wide open. There were muddy footprints leading in, and they looked strangely dragged. As if someone had been walking heavily.
He wondered if he should enter, and called out, "Ollie?" But no reply met him, minutes later, as he waited, he yelled again, "Ollie? Mrs Akana? Anybody home? It's Javi!"
No reply. Not a word.
He took a deep breath, this was starting to get tiring.
He heard a faint sobbing sound coming from somewhere within the house, and walked in, following the muddy footprints, all the way upstairs, to probably what was Ollie's room.
Curled up in his bed, in a fetal position, head in his mother's lap, was Ollie Akana.
"I— I failed, mom" he kept whispering, and his mother patted his head, and Javi understood why neither of them responded to their names being called out.
"Hi... Ollie, are you okay?" He knew his problems could wait, but Ollie didn't respond to his words. He spoke again, tried to talk to Dr Akana, but did she respond.
He heard a panting sound come from downstairs, from where exactly he had come, then a loud clutter of feet scurrying up the staircase, coming to his room.
His gaze met with that of Amelia Jones, as she stumbled into view, and threw him a glance, looking relieved to see him.
"Ollie? Dr Akana?" She also said, the way he had, but wasnt met with the same reaction.
Dr Akana looked up, apparently saw Amelia and smiled, relieved, "I'm so glad you're here Amelia" she said, letting Ollie get up from her lap, "can you take care of Ollie for a while? He's been like this since he came back"
Amelia nodded, looking as shaken up as Ollie right now, and just like Ollie she hadn't said a word to Javi yet.
"Ollie?" She said, as Dr Akana left them alone in the room, and Ollie looked up, his cheeks tear stained, his eyes swollen, but he gulped, and wiped his tears, letting a smile that was so obviously fake cover his mouth, "hey Amelia! S— sleep well?" He stuttered, his voice broken as well, but trying to contain the sorrow. He got up, off the bed, still pretending everything was okay, and stumbled over to where she was standing, ignoring Javi's presence altogether, and took her hand.
She looked down when she replied, Though, "You know how I'm feeling Ollie..." and Javi felt all that anger bubble up again. He didn't know why, maybe it was nobody acknowledging him, maybe it was Amelia seeing him and pretending she didn't, maybe it was her rejecting him in such, such a cold way, and then running up to Ollie's house like this. The blue ranger saw her but ignored him, it was all almost too much for him to take.
"Ollie" he said, in a grave tone, feeling a sudden burst of energy bubble up inside him, feeling himself lose control, why couldn't he get it right?
Chaos... all inside him. Nothing but chaos.
"Javi NOOOO—" Amelia couldn't even shout, before Javi moved at an almost supernatural velocity, towards Ollie and a land a punch to his gut.
If he were to be honest it felt exhilarating... for an entirety of five seconds, and it then faded into a feeling of horror, as he saw Ollie crumble to the floor, a mess.
Amelia looked horrified, her scream choked midway, a terror in her eyes, hands to her mouth, as the blue ranger, unmorphed, and vulnerable, lay on the floor...
All bloody.
Javi stared at his hands in disbelief, he had only wanted to punch him, he'd maybe punch him back. It'd give him some, some reaction some proof of his own existence, but as he watched his palms glow with the same energy, not stained in any blood, even though there was a splatter of it on the floor above which his fist had made contact. Ollie was bleeding from a single punch, a hole almost torn through him.
Amelia recovered just, just enough to scream "DR AKANAAAAAAA"
"What?!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!?!" Javi screamed, fear of himself seeping in, inch by inch, he had completely lost control...
Who was he... he wasn't even sure anymore...
But Amelia's panic stricken eyes said one thing to him. Just one
He was a monster
He didn't blame her for feeling it, and found himself crumbing to the floor as well while the horror of the crime he had just committed came back to him.
He shivered, closing his eyes, feeling a tear slide down his eyes. But nothing really touched his cheeks.
There was no blood in his hands, there were no tears on his cheeks. His mind reeled, but his body felt nothing. No goosebumps, his morpher wasn't in place, the shower knob wouldn't turn when he tried, nobody noticed him....
"What's wrong with me, Amelia?" He asked in a cracked voice filled with tears.
When he opened his eyes though, he didn't see her anywhere. He jumped to his feet, sprinted to the staircase to see her and Dr Akana taking Ollie to the hospital.
Ollie, who had been unmorphed, vulnerable, upset, crying to his mother, looking to Amelia for comfort, putting up a brave face. And he had done god knows what to him, causing him such an injury... he had acted without thinking and the repercussions were in front of his eyes. His mother, and Amelia, a girl they both probably loved, wheeling him to a hospital. Javi hated himself for acting without thinking, hated himself for letting his emotions out like this, for not being able to control them, for not being able to deal with all the shit that was going down.
As they loaded the coughing, barely coherent blue ranger into Dr Akana's car, Amelia threw her head back, for an entirety of one second, and locked her eyes with Javi. The expression in her eyes said one thing. Just one thing.
She hated him too...
The guilt swallowed him whole.
~TBC