"It's Christmas eve," Faith whispered, grinning, her voice feathery and soft as she breathed next to Tom.
Tom looked down from his book, staring at Faith, who lay next to him in Faith's bed. To shelter from the blistering cold, the two had moved inside, finding warmth in each other as they curled up beneath the silky covers.
"Are you going to keep interrupting me or shall I continue?" Tom said flatly, looking down at Faith with feint exasperation. The truth was, Tom wanted nothing more than to feel Faith's heartbeat on his, to feel Faith's slow breaths on his cheek, to smell the rose of her hair.
"No, I'm listening," Faith smiled up at him, tangling her fingers in a curl of Tom's hair.
If it was anyone else, Tom would have snapped the hand away in anger. But it was Faith.
Her vision seemed mesmerised by the black curl in her dainty hands, her eyes sparkling with awe, stars in the inky sky. Tom captured the image; her cheeks, flushed with warmth, the pale freckles dotting over her porcelain cheeks, her hair honey in the warm light.
"Go on, continue," Faith nudged him, and Tom was snapped out of his dreamy daze.
He picked up his book again, Frankenstein (their shared favourite), finding the passage and reading, his voice low and filled with the softness of the night :
"Volume two, chapter nine," He spoke, reading the words as if they were sacred, Faith curling besides him, closing her eyes and bathing in the silky voice, the way one might soak up the sun on summer afternoons. As he read out loud, the story infused into the room, into the very furniture.
"I will revenge my injuries, if I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear, and chiefly towards you my arch enemy, because my creator, do I swear inextinguishable hatred."
"Tom?" Faith interrupted, causing Tom to look down from the yellowed pages with a sigh, meeting her curious expression.
"Yes?" He breathed.
"Do you think the monster was fair in saying that?" She quizzed, her expression innocently interested. "Do you think, just because Victor did not provide him with the love he so ardently desired, the monster was just in his revenge?"
Tom paused for a moment, "Yes, I believe so to an extent. Though, destroying Victor's life to no gain of himself seemed rather pointless," He shrugged.
"He was angry, the monster," Faith continued, "That's why he ruined Victors life. Do you think anger is a fair reason to destroy another's life, even if the anger is justified?"
Tom considered slightly, before replying, "I think the point made at the end of the text is that, ultimately, the monster's rampage lead him to nothing. He lost himself to anger. It clouded his judgement and he gained nothing but remorse."
Tom looked down at Faith quizzically, "Why do you ask?"
Faith shrugged, "Out of curiosity I suppose." She met his eyes, smiling warmly, "And, you're the only person I can really discuss my favourite book with and enjoy it."
Tom scoffed a laugh, "Well, I suppose the same goes for you. I can't exactly discuss the morality of a fictional, muggle written, monster with Abraxias Malfoy,"
Faith gave out a laugh, and nestled her head onto Tom's shoulder.
"Tom, do you think the monster was good?" She asked.
"No." He replied, frowning, "I believe neither Victor nor the monster were good."
"What were they then?"
"Lost, I suppose." Tom, "Lost in an ugly part of themselves that they could not escape from."
Faith hummed in consideration, before speaking up again, "You said once that you relate to the monster. Are you lost in an ugly part of yourself?"
Not with you, I'm not, he almost replied. "Sometimes, I suppose. I can get fixated on things easily, morally debatable things I suppose." Tom wasn't sure why he was telling Faith this. In fact, it seemed rather risky to do so- to show her the darkness within him could lead her away from his embrace, and for some reason, that seemed the most detestable of potential occurrences. Though, had she already seen the darkness within him?
"I seem to recall you also telling me you relate to the monster, am I correct?" He asked, before Faith could respond to his overshare.
She sighed for a moment, searching his expression- for what, Tom wasn't sure. "Yes." She nodded, "I once lost myself to an ugly part of myself. I-" She bit her lip and frowned, sitting up, taking her hands out of Tom's hair. Tom felt the space around him feel colder without the contact of their skin.
"I lost myself to grief." She spoke, her voice a whisper of her usual tone, as if weakened by memories. "Grief and anger, I suppose."
Tom sat up too, placing the book aside and taking Faith's hand again, eager to return the contact.
"That was who your father was speaking about at dinner, wasn't it?" Tom matched her quiet tone.
Faith took a shaky breath, "Yes. My sister, Cassia."
"Cassia." Tom repeated.
Faith nodded, "But don't listen to anything my father says about her. He was never fond of her, either of us really. Always preferred the boys, Axel and Dade."
Tom nodded, tilting his head to the side in question, "You never mentioned her before?"
Faith exhaled, face suddenly looking rather tired, "I never talk about her with anyone really. Not even Daniel or Lottie. She-" She winced as if the words cut her tongue, "-She died when I was 9. But, she was all I had here, in this house. When she left me, the entire world seemed so much darker, especially to 9 year old me."
She continued, though her eyes did not meet Tom's, "It was so long ago, but I never got over her death. It was as if a part of myself died with her. The part of myself that I liked. The part that kept me strong. My parents of course, were intent on forgetting her existence altogether. They saw her as some kind of burden to the family. My brothers eventually followed suit, until her existence felt like a dream I had made up.
"I could never talk about it with anyone, even if the grief drowned me; it felt as though the mere memories faded into the distance of my childhood, leaving me breathless and spluttering in solitude." Tom spied a silvery tear drop from her eyes, though she continued, as though the words spilled out like rushing water, held in for years and finally free.
"Cassia was Axel's twin sister, one year older than myself. She was my best friend, my big sister, my protector, my beacon of hope. She used to say the opposite though," Faith scoffed slightly, smiling at the memory, the tears steadily dripping down her cheeks, "She would say that I was her sign of hope, her sign of Faith in the world we had been born into. That we would find our own world, separate from our parents' world, to live together in. That hope died with her, though."
Faith sniffed, and Tom brought her closer, hands in her silky hair.
"Cassia was Axel's twin?" Tom asked.
Faith nodded, "We were close, the three of us. Me, Cass and Axel. We'd play together and laugh, like the children we were meant to have been. When she died, the laughing ceased, as did any fragment of childhood. Axel-" Faith shook her head and shrugged, as if at a loss for words," He changed, when she died. Became more like them. He never talked to me about her again."
Tom frowned, "I'm sorry Faith." What words could mend the grief swarming Faith's heart? Tom wished he knew.
Faith lay back down in bed, prickling eyes staring at the ceiling unblinkingly, "I've never told anyone that before. I should have,"
Tom lay next to her, replying by taking her hands in his, squeezing them. She turned to him, smiling weakly, before closing her eyes and nestling her head onto the pillow.
"I'm glad I told you Tom. You're the only thing that has come close to making me feel whole again," She muttered, her voice drowsy yet intent.
Tom kissed her cheek softly, whispering, "Go to sleep, Faith."
The rain pattering on the window and quiet, sleep induced breaths were soon the only sound in the room, as Faith drifted into, Tom hoped, happy dreams. Tom did not sleep. In fact, his mind seemed to ponder every word, every kiss, every movement that uncured that night.
He pondered the fullness in his chest.
"I love you," He whispered to a sleeping Faith, his voice barely audible through his own breaths.
The words felt unfamiliar yet warm on his tongue.
Note:
AHH HE LOVES HER. Pls enjoy these Christmas chapters while they last, things get... interesting, in January :/
ALSO I'M WRITING A MARAUDERS ERA FANFIC!!! It's called 'Futile Devices', and It's James Potter x Regulus Black. It would mean the absolute world if someone would read or comment on what I have so far :]
Thanks for reading!!