A/n: in this and upcoming chapters you'll periodically notice not quite healthy moments in their relationship, but i can assure you that it's only temporary and a bit later i'll explain the need for this : )
Y/n's POV:
I expected that sooner or later, Elizabeth and I would have problems with society and being public, but I didn't think it would come so quickly. Sitting in my office staring at a white wall doesn't really help me figure out what I should do, because this situation is far from being easily solved.
On the one hand, of course, I want to tell the whole truth to her, because starting a relationship with lies and secrets will certainly lead to its collapse sooner or later, but on the other hand, the poor woman is already under huge pressure every day. I notice how she often squeezes out smiles and I feel her tension in every even the slightest stressful situation, especially when it comes to the two of us.
Telling Elizabeth everything as it is would mean her sinking into an even more agitated and anxious state, which would obviously prevent her from feeling good enough, given that even now she manages to do it with difficulty. It's been only two days since she's back at work and she spent both evenings after that in my arms, refusing to let me go, just in comfortable silence which ended with me pleasuring her as she wished to help her relax a bit and take her mind off overthinking.
Seeing her like that was definitely painful, but it's still better than if she decided to go through all this shit herself. Scrolling in my head all the minutes of her weakness and the words about how glad she is to have me by her side, I understand that I absolutely do not want to make her go through even more negative emotions, fearing that at some point her psyche may not be able to withstand all of it.
"Baby?" I didn't notice how El entered my office, closing the door behind her and staring at me with concerned eyes as she slowly walked over to me. "Are you okay?"
"Oh, h-hi, yes I am, why are you asking?" I look up at her, fighting the urge to hide my eyes somewhere on the floor so as not to make eye contact with her because of what I was just thinking about.
"You had that expression on your face like you heard about someone's death," she says, standing near the other side of the table in front of me and leaning on it with both hands.
"That's my normal expression, don't worry," I give her a goofy smile, hoping she'll drop the subject.
Elizabeth only chuckles in response and goes around my desk from the side, sitting on it in a half turn towards me. "I have one meeting in the city center now, do you wanna come with me?" She asks, turning her head towards me and giving a warm, relaxed smile, tracing her finger over a wooden surface.
"I...I have some work to do, so I can't come with you today. How long will the meeting last?" I ask, mentally already setting myself up for the fact that I will need to go to this damned dinner in order to save Elizabeth from the additional stressful burden, as I thought a little earlier.
"Immediately after this one, I will also have to go to a restaurant to arrange a lease for an event, so I don't know. I'll probably be home at about 9 o'clock," she replies without taking her eyes off me and not removing her smile from her face.
"Why are you smiling?" My question makes her just shrug.
"I don't know, maybe because tomorrow we both have almost a day off and we can let ourselves to leave work early to go on a little date." Her dreamy sweet voice and alluring invitation to spend an evening with her in some romantic setting makes my heart skip a beat or two.
"I'm already yours, you know, you don't have to take me on dates," I smirk, mentally admiring how adorable and caring she is, but still thinking about my own today's meeting, even though all my inner world screams to me not to do it.
"I know, but we didn't actually had dates before, so I'd love to spoil my beautiful girl with it." I don't know how I deserved her such kind attitude towards myself, her sincere smiles and the love that she expresses in words and deeds, especially considering what I'm going to do. Or, to be more accurate, I was going to do, because the realization that I can't lie to her even if it's for good overshadows me at the very moment when our eyes meet and I see all the tenderness that she actually feels for me. I can't let us down like that or in any other way.
I hate to ruin this moment, but life has taught me that constantly looking for the best time for something leads nowhere, so taking a deep breath, I hardly manage to ignore El's last phrase and decide to talk to her about what happened today, still being afraid of her reaction.
"Promise you won't be mad," I speak in as calm a voice as possible, getting up from the desk and heading towards the door to close it and the blinds so as not to attract someone else's attention.
"Mad at what?" Elizabeth asks in a confused tone, furrowing her brows and getting up from the table as well.
"Just promise me," I pleadingly stare at my girlfriend, leaning my back on the door, being a bit afraid to approach her.
"I can't promise you until I know what's wrong." Seeing that marked change in her gaze from loving to worried is one of the things that really puts this nasty squeezing feeling in my chest, but right now I have no other choice.
"Y/n?" She addresses me again, noticing my hesitation before I take a couple of steps towards her, cautiously making eye contact. I'm not afraid that she will hurt me or something, it just seems to me that she is going through too many problems right now that can worsen her mental health.
"Cindy saw us kissing in your office and now she wants me to have dinner with her in exchange for her not telling anyone about it," I say in one breath, peering into El's face and taking her hands, which she pulls away after I finish my sentence.
Now her features take on a hostile look, and a dangerous spark of anger flashes in her eyes, which seems to radically change her mood in a split second.
"She asked you out after seeing you with me?" Her tone is deceptively calm, but her narrowed eyes and clenched jaw mixed with her brows furrowed in an kind of aggressive manner clearly don't bode well.
"Is that the only thing you just heard?" I ask not understanding why she doesn't care about the second part, watching her arms cross over her chest as she bites hard on her lower lip for a couple of seconds before coming right up to me.
"Don't answer my questions with other questions, Y/n," she tilts her head to the right, examining every inch of my face, taking my chin with her thumb and point finger as I already know she likes to do. "Did you give her any reasons to act like that, hmm?" She presses her lips together, lifting my chin so that I have no choice but to look straight into her sparkling with madness eyes.
"Did I ever make you-"
"Don't. Answer. My questions. With other questions," Elizabeth repeats through her clenched teeth, clearly annoyed not only with the situation, but now with me too.
"I didn't give her any reasons and moreover always found her annoying." She seems to believe my promising voice judging by subsiding anger in her eyes, but nevertheless she doesn't let go of my chin yet.
"Good. So she's blackmailing you?" Her annoyance isn't addressed to me now, but is still present in her intense darkened look.
"I think so. El, tell me what I should do," I ask in a quiet voice making my best to soften her mood at least a bit, but miserably fail watching previous fire return to her eyes.
"What do you mean by you should do? You didn't turn her down right away, Y/n?" She hisses, tightening her grip on my chin, making my breath hitch.
"I wanted to ask you about it to be certain," the first untruthful excuse that comes across my mind uncertainly slips from my lips. "I'm sorry, I only wanted the best," I say under my breath, lowering my eyes to the floor and suddenly feeling shallow next to her for the first time in my life.
"You wanted to be certain that your damn girlfriend will be against you going on a date with someone?!" Elizabeth raises her tone, removing her fingers from my face and takes a couple of steps away, turning her back to me.
"Elizabeth, everyone can find out about our relationship." I once again refer to her in a calm tone, noticing her nails dig into the soft skin of her palms as she stands silently in that position for a few seconds before turning back to face me and giving me a look that instantly sends goosebumps down my skin.
"It doesn't mean that you have to be someone's poppet now," she returns to me again with a slow predatory gait, not stopping until my back hits the closed door, "and fulfill their every whim," she says in dripping with venom voice, hovering over me.
"Or do you enjoy all the attention you get?" Her entire body radiates jealousy and anger that rages in her piercing gaze. Seeing her like this doesn't scare me, but my head screams about all possible things she can do in this state.
"I enjoy attention only from you, it just felt that I don't have a choice," I'm saying exactly what she needs to hear to soothe her anger and it seems to work when I notice a hint of softness flash in her eyes, but a second later her gaze gets dangerously mad again.
"I'm going to fucking destroy her," she says decisively, yanking on the doorknob and making me jump away from it, "I'll deal with you later." She gives me the last sharp glance before storming out of the room and heading towards Cindy's office.
"El! Oh god, Elizabeth, Miss Olsen, wait!" I chase the fast-paced woman down the hall, trying to stop her from acting rashly, finally grabbing her arm and pulling her around a corner.
"Y/n, stay out of this and wait for me in your goddamn office," she yanks her hand back, jabbing her index finger into my chest, speaking in a low voice.
"Please, we're at work, you shouldn't squabble in the middle of the work day," I'm trying to calm her down a bit, but it only seems to annoy her even more.
"Are you defending this bitch now or what?" She's completely out of control now, surprising me with a total refusal to talk calmly and her vicious impulsiveness.
"Of course I'm not, I just-"
"Leave it for later. Stay away for now, Y/n." It's the last thing she says to me, letting me know that it's useless to get in her way now, before going back to her unfinished business.
I remain standing there for another minute and, having collected my thoughts, I start to quietly head to Cindy's office in case of Elizabeth completely loosing her temper. Approaching a large window with fortunately not closed blinds, I cautiously peer into what is happening on the other side of the door, hoping that no one else will hear a thing.
"What exactly makes you think, Ms. Harris, that it's permissible of you to blackmail your colleagues?" I hear Elizabeth's firm voice as I watch her stand in the middle of the office, burning her eyes through confused girl who obviously didn't expect this.
"So your assistant has already complained to you about our little conversation today," Cindy rises from her chair, gaining a more or less confident look, defiantly looking into El's eyes. "Then I'll repeat it to you too. Mind your own business or everyone here finds out about your little romance with your cute subordinate." I don't know where she found so much boldness in the talk to her boss, but it clearly pisses Elizabeth off to the limit.
"Now listen here, Cindy," she hisses, thankfully without getting personal and trying to keep herself within the bounds of decency, "I'm not scared of you and your miserable threats, you can tell the whole world about it, but you have to remember one thing." She confidently walks up to the red-haired girl, tilting her head to the right and furrowing her brows, giving her gaze an almost killing power.
"You'll be kicked out of this company the very next day, let me remind you that your position here is far from the important one. And then you have to look for a job for a very long time, because someone very evil can ruin your reputation once and for all," Elizabeth's taunting voice mixed with a fake sympathy on her face make Cindy to step back and her eyes take a scared look for a couple of seconds.
"Trust me, you don't want to play with someone who has much more power than some little office bug." Now her voice lowers again and her face takes a professional look again, while she remains standing there with a perfect posture and clenched jaw, waiting for Cindy's response.
"Is this blackmailing, Ms. Olsen?" She tries her best to hide the fact that this conversation obviously had an effect on her, but El and me, standing outside, both can see that someone already regretted what they did.
"Of course not, Ms. Harris, it's just a warning to keep your nose out of other people's business." Elizabeth turns her back to her and I quickly back away from the window so she doesn't see me. "And yes, I better not see you around Y/n anymore," I hear her threatening tone without seeing what is happening there and quickly head around the corner so that El doesn't see me when she leaves the office, slamming the door.
Elizabeth's POV:
I make my way to the bathroom at a brisk pace, and having reached there in just a minute, I close the door behind me, leaning over the washbasin with my both trembling hands.
I don't understand what's going on, because I've never in my life become insanely angry so quickly because of situations like this. It seems that every even slightly stressful moment presses on me with such force that it threatens to crush me without even leaving a wet spot.
Not only had I just been terribly unprofessional, but I might have scared Y/n with my decidedly abnormal behavior. Wetting my hands with some water, I put them on my forehead, cheeks and neck, feeling the headache that has been haunting me for several days in a row is getting worse after what just happened.
I am usually very patient with people and try to resolve all conflicts peacefully, without resorting to threats or anything like that, but this time it was related Y/n and it literally wildly pissed me off, making me forget about all my moral principles. To say that I regret what I did to Cindy would be a lie, but I definitely have to apologize to my girlfriend for such a hot-tempered and aggressive reaction.
I have always been afraid to hurt her in any way and now I understand that I need to protect her from not only the usual daily problems, but also from my own mental health problems, which are beginning to show themselves more often. "I'll deal with you later"... Seriously, Lizzie? Deal with your head first. She deserves the best attitude and I will try my best to do everything to ensure that not a single second of being with me is uncomfortable for her anymore.
With these thoughts, I take a few deep breaths to fully calm down, leave the bathroom and head to Y/n's office, hoping to find her there.
"Honey?" I carefully open the door, immediately landing my eyes on her desk and thankfully find her sitting there, typing something on her computer. "May I come in?"
She looks up immediately when she hears my voice, hurriedly getting up from the table and walking towards me. "Of course, why are you asking?" She says, taking my hand and leading me back to the table, about to show me something on the monitor.
"Look, I found a wonderful place for our date tomorrow," she smiles like absolutely nothing happened, "do you mind if we go on a small picnic?" Y/n wonders and I turn my attention to a photo of some beautiful park I haven't been to before.
"I don't, of course...Y/n, don't you think we have to talk about something?" I ask concerned and she just gives me a small nervous smile as she looks down at my tie, straightening it with one hand.
"We are talkin', aren't we?" She briefly looks up at me before turning her attention back to the screen.
"I scared you, didn't I?" My question obviously is full of disappointment with myself and my terrible behavior, as I take a step back.
"What?" She immediately turns her head back to me, studying my face with wide eyes. "No, no you didn't, you could never," her hand reaches to mine, but now it only confuses me why she decided to act like this. "It's just that one thing you said when you left, I don't wanna have another fight."
"We're not gonna have it, I'm sorry for my behavior, it's just...No, I don't even have an excuse." I'm determined not to tell her about my certain problems, deciding to save her from additional worries.
"It's okay, I understand how you felt and why you felt like that. Too much is happening right now, isn't it?" She seems to find excuses instead of me, being her usual believing in people self.
"Yes, but it doesn't give me a right to be like that," I come close to her, wrapping one arm around her waist and placing the other one on her soft cheek, stroking it with my thumb. "I'm sorry."
"Everything's okay, baby, come here," she says gently, pulling me into a warm hug and placing a small kiss on my neck, making me to sink in this special feeling of comfort and calmness that I feel only with her.
"So a picnic tomorrow, yeah?" I ask, moving my head a little to be able to look at her beautiful face, squeezing my hands around her lower back a little more. Seeing her happy smile despite everything that happened recently, I understand that now my main task is to keep her safe from everything bad and especially from myself.
A/n: so...mrs. olsen's birthday or hanging out with olsen twins first?👀 also sorry if someone waited for jealous smut, i'll save this and office sex for a bit later