I am preparing myself because tomorrow is the day,this is my first championship kaya I'm conditioning my body.Thirdy's always here taking care of Davin,pwede na nga niyang palitan si Ate Mela. I scroll through Twitter and I saw all the tweets about how excited they are for the championship tomorrow. May mga nagtatag din sakin sa IG,I viewed some pero di ko kayang tingnan lahat sa sobrang dami. Napapangiti nalang ako because after everything that has happened there's still some that believes in me.
I appreciate them so much and words weren't enough to say how much I love these people di ko man kilala silang lahat pero alam kong aalahanin ko lahat ng ginawa nila sakin,from appreciation post,to ig stories and even promoting my games lahat ay maalala ko habang buhay.
"Wow naman kaka- I love you too mulang sakin may kachat ka na naman and you're smiling! I hate that smile now". Nabigla ako ng biglang sumigaw si Thirdy.
"Tss OA". I answer before scrolling on Twitter again.
I heard him groaned before he sit beside me. Hindi ko siya pinansin pero I can feel his stare. Napangiti ako ng makita ang isang edited photo namin ni Thirdy with Davin. We look like a family here. Parang totoo lang ang photo,I can't help but to admire people's talent on this. Davin and Thirdy really looks good when they're together.
"Ugh! I hate that smile Bea stop! Sino ba kasi yang kachat mo?!". Inis niyang inilapit ang mukha sa phone ko,bigla kong tinaas ang brightness kaya nasilaw siya at umatras.
"Aish!". He glared at me and I just laugh.
Natigil lang ang pagtawa ko when his expression turned into a serious one,nakatitig lang siya sakin, kinabahan ako ng unti-unti siyang lumapit sakin.He's eyes went down on my lips as he keep on moving closer to me.
"Chaaaa". He shouted as he starts to kiliti me.
"Thirdy!". I shouted back pero ayaw niyang tumigil,naiinis pa ako nung una but as seconds pass nakikiliti na ako,I started laughing while trying my best to get his hands of me.
He tickles me from my waist up to my armpit so I keep on pushing his hand off but then his hand accidentally landed on my breast,nanlaki ang mga mata ko at natigil ako sa pagtawa, I am looking at Thirdy kaya I saw him gulped while his hand is on my breast pa rin. The scene is so awkward but it feels like mas magiging awkward kapag gumalaw ako.
"Mom-my?".
Mas mabilis pa sa alas kwarto kong tinulak si Thirdy kaya nahulog siya sa couch,I look at Davin whose confusingly watching us. Kumunot ang noo niya ng bumaba ang tingin sa nahulog na si Thirdy parang hindi ako makalagaw sa hiya,I just want the floor to eat me up. Kahit alam ko namang hindi mag-iisip si Davin ng kung ano-ano dahil hindi niya naman gets ang nangyari but still I feel awful.
I watch Davin walk to Thirdy who's still on the floor looking like he can't still process whatever happened. Davin offered his hand to Thirdy helping him up. Napunta doon ang tingin ni Thirdy,he blink multiple times.
"Aww thanks bud". He said and hold Davin's hand.
"eh come". Davin answer, nilingon ko siya at natawa sa kacutetan ng anak ko.
Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ko nilingon si Thirdy,when I look at him he's also staring at me pero ng makita niyang akong nakatingin kinamot niya ang ulo.
"Come! Eat na!". Davin said and pulled Thirdy's hand.
"Mom-my go go". He tried his best to utter a word and with that I'm so proud of him,atleast his trying .
"Okay". Tumayo na ako at tumabi kay Thirdy sa paglalakad.
"Did I just get a hold of your" nguso niya sa dibdib ko " or it's just a thick bra?". He continue,I know his just teasing me para gumaan ang atmosphere.
"What the heck Thirdy!". Bulong ko sa kaniya.
"Joke lang". Bawi niya when he saw how serious I am.
When we arrive at the dinning area everyone's eating na. Kuya's here at this is the first time after years na makakasabay niya sa pagkain si Thirdy dito sa bahay namin.
"Hey loe". Bati ni Thirdy kaya kuya Loel,kuya nodded and his eyes went on me.I get it,he wanted to say something and I know after eating we'll talk.
And so I just nodded.
"Tomorrow's your championship Beadel,are you ready?". Mom asked while we're still eating
"My things are". Sagot ko cause I'm still not sure if ready na ba ako.
"I meant YOU". she repeat.
"To be honest I don't know nga eh I feel bother though,can you blame me? It's my first time". I said.
"Oh normal naman yan,but don't let that get on your way or you'll lose your focus". Si dad,I just nodded.
"Kaya fight Bei!". Si Thirdy,I smile at him.
"my figh-t!'',we all laugh because of Davin's cuteness as he utter those words.
We continue eating as we talk about stuffs and some sports,my dad is really into sports so madami silang napag-usapan ni Thirdy.
After nun we just sit in our living room. Magkatabi kami ni Thirdy habang nakaakbay siya sakin we're watching Davin play around hinintay ko lang na antukin siya so I can put him to sleep.
Thirdy cleared his throat so I look up to him.
"Hmm Bea, Davin's 3 years old na diba?". Kinabahan agad ako
"Uhmm yeah". Kabado kong sagot.
"I.. I don't mean to.. Bea now that you and I,I don't know though. But Bea I love you na,I love you before at yun ang importante sakin ,not the label f*ck the label,I love you and that's what matter". He said sincerely.
My heart warmth at that,Thirdy never fails to make me feel stomach twirling, butterfly shuttering and systems wrecking feeling. Gosh I love this man so much but the secret I'm keeping is the only thing that's stopping me from loving him completely.
"His daddy.. hindi mo ba talaga siya kilala? Bea I want us again,and though he didn't matter but I just want to avoid future complications. I want an assurance that he won't bother us kasi he's Davin's dad,and no matter what we say he'll always be part of your lives". Guilt sipped through me because of how he said it sincerely,but with sadness in his eyes.
"I... H-his..". I can't say a word really,I want to tell him the truth but ...
"Bea can we talk?". I close my eyes tightly as kuya ask.
"Hmm bro I'll borrow her muna may pag-uusapan lang kami". Si Kuya
"Yeah sure ". He smiled at me and kiss my forehead before I went out to follow kuya
"So you're back together na?". Kuya ask in a serious tone.
"No".
He look at me at umiling,lowkey saying he's not believing me.
"Action speak louder than words Bea". Huminga ako ng malalim.
"We didn't talk pa about us but yes we're like together again,we said "I love you" to each other though". I confess
He look at me and pat my head.
"Bea,I won't stop you if that's what you really want and that will make you happy but please,stop lying also. He deserves to know the truth you will not be completely happy cause you're holding something,let it go". Kuya said convincingly
"But.. what if I'll tell him the truth then.. magagalit siya,kuya hindi pa ako handa eh,please I'll tell him if I'm ready na. I promise after the championship I'll tell him the truth". I pleaded
"Make sure Bea ha,look mom and dad may not speak about this but they're very confuse especially dad,he loves Thirdy like a real son and it pained him to see Thirdy being fooled". Mas na konsensya pa ako.
"You said you love him,then I thinks it enough for you to do what's right". I feel like iniipit ako ni kuya so I can decide na dahil alam kong naiinip na siya sakin.
"I love him kuya,I love him so much but..". Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko ng yakapin ako ni Kuya.
"I will not say sorry for pressuring you but I'll wait Bea,we will wait for you". He comfort me
And after that I went back to the living room where I saw Thirdy swaying Davin slowly,putting him to sleep. I took a deep breath before walking towards them. As soon as Thirdy saw me he smile pero hindi umabot sa mga mata niya. He look at Davin lovingly and to me.
Hindi nagtagal nakatulog din si Davin. Thirdy tuck him in and we just stayed at the living area pero di na ulit namin napag-usapan ang about sa daddy ni Davin,na obviously siya lang din naman.Hindi ko alam kong paano ko sasabihin sa kaniya ang totoo but I promise myself after championship,bukas sasabihin ko na sa kaniya no matter what he'll do or say I'll accept it because I deserve it.
Huminga ako ng malalim before looking to him who's scrolling through his phone. I lean forward and hug his waist. I felt him look down at me,he put his phone down and hugged me back. He kissed the top of my head.
"Kinahabahan ka ba for tomorrow's game?". He ask
Sa game hindi masyado pero after ng game oo.
"Of course,but of course we can do it". I answer instead
"Wooh that's my girl". He cheered.
I tighten our hug savouring this moment because I don't know what we'll happen after I tell him the whole truth. Magagalit siya for sure knowing na ilang beses na akong nagsinunggaling sa kaniya.
I gulped as the our opponent got to score again,ate Ly got to spike again but got block everyone in the bench is feeling nervous including me. Coach keeps on guiding them from the side of the court.
Bench ako for the 5th set and I can't do anything but to support them morally,I keep on watching.
"Yes!". I jump as ate Ly scored .
Hanggang sa sunod-sunod nang naka-score ang team namin. The score is 24-24 na so everyone is holding their breathes. I gulped at every spike of the ball,it was a long rally when ate Amy was able to kill the ball and the score was given to us. Halos di pa kami makapaniwala, everyone was just too stunned to react not until the crowd started shouting, "Ateneo!".
I ran to the court and hug ate Ly as she kneel and cry out of joy.
" We won ate Ly,we won!". I told her,she keep on nodding her head.
"We're the champions Bea! We Won Bei". I smile as she started shouting and hugged me tight.
The confetti keeps on bushing and everyone was shouting it feels surreal,I can't believe we actually won and it's my first championship. Naisip ko agad si Davin,I'm sure he'll be so proud of me. I smile on the crowd and they all yell. I went to Maddie and Jho and hug them both.
"Ang galing-galing natin!". Jho shout and hug and both of me and Maddie,the announcer has a lot to say but we couldn't just focus because we're too busy to celebrating our victory.
I went to look for mom,when I saw daddy I hugged him so tight.
"I'm so proud of you anak". Dad said and carry me like I'm still a baby girl,natawa nalang ako at ang mga tao,I tighten my hug on daddy.
After that I went to look for mom when I saw Thirdy standing on the side watching me move around,I smile at him and run towards him.
"Thirds!". I shouted as I ran.
He has a big smile on me and spread his arms as he waited for me,I jumped and hug him tight good thing he was able to catch me and hug me tighter.
"So proud of you baby". The last thing I heard him whisper to me before I get off him when people started teasing us.
"Yieeee " people shouted and feel myself blushing,did I just did that in public?
And then finally I saw mom on one of the benches.
"So proud of you anak,and what you did". She told me and look at me meaningfully.
"Mom!". I called her annoyingly.
"Congratulations anak". She cheered and then we hug,by the way mom hugged me I can feel how proud she is.
Then we were called to get our trophy and medals as we touch our trophy it feels like all the overtime for training, frustration, tiredness we all felt,my longing for my son everytime I can't go home in time and all those hardship in our training days all paid off. I wish Davin's here like my other game but we just couldn't because we expect people to fiest over him and last time he's here didn't go well nung pauwi na kami.
After that ate Ly was being announced as the Season's MVP and we couldn't be more proud than we are right now. We did the photo taking,I had a photo with Mom and Dad and kuya,just as everyone was about to pack up when the photographer ask to take photo of me and Thirdy. We don't need to look for Thirdy cause he's just in the side watching me.. I mean us.
After the photo taking we all decide to go home,I'm a bit excited because I want to show Davin my medal,I just hope he's still up. When I open the car's door someone called me and when I look back I saw Thirdy holding a bouquet of white roses. I rolled my eyes,I'm not really a 'flower kind of a girl',but I just felt myself blushing. Hayst Thirdy and his effect on me.
I look around and felt relieve when no one's at the parking lot but us and our families.
"Ay may pa flower bhe". I heard Jho whisper on the side.
"Congrats Bea that was a great game". Tita Mozzy came to me and hugged me.
"Thanks tita".
"Proud of you Babe". Bulong ni Thirdy and kiss my cheeks.
"Thanks,and thanks to this". Nguso ko sa bouquet.
"Tss ako pa ba?". Pangyayabang niya,I can't help but to roll my eyes at him while my lips form a smile.
....................................
"I love him kuya,I love him so much but...". I gulped as I started to feel the pain when I heard what Bea said.
A lot of things started to run on my head and it's making me feel crazy,why would Bea say she love me with a 'but'? what's that f*cking BUT? Ramdam ko namang may bumabagabag kay Bea hinintay ko lang na magsabi siya kasi kilala ko si Bea eventually magsasabi din siya kapag ready na siya.
Hindi ko nalang pinatapos ang usapan nila,magpapaalam na sana ako kasi nagkayayaan ang barkada and Julia ask if I can see her today pero hindi nalang ako pupunta instead pinatulog ko nalang si Davin,as I held him in my arms all I could wish is that he's mine. Na ako nalang ang daddy niya para tapos na. I feel so much connection on this kid and I feel like mahal na mahal ko na siya,I sighed as another thought came my mind. Impossible naman yun,Bea won't lie to me on this kind of matter.
He won't hide my kid to me right?
But with that on my mind, I still get one of Davin's feeding bottle that he used.
To be continue...( Dahil feeling ko ang haba na 🙆 feeling lang pala but don't worry I'll try my best to finish the continuation of this.)