April 26, 2019
Dear Diary,
I absolutely HATE dance! I HATE IT SO MUCH! It makes people feel bad about themselves and it makes people argue and it makes people distant! I hate it so much! As you can tell, I'm in a bad mood. But it wasn't what happened in the studio, but on the bus.
So, the studio time went okay. The group dance looked clean and the solos actually look decent to Abby's eyes. However, there's a lot of pressure on Hannah, and she and I have gotten a lot closer lately, so I could feel the stress radiating off of her.
Sarah and Michelle were even allowed to be on the bus! I should be happy, but I feel barely anything to call myself human, so it was just... bleh. And somehow, Michelle didn't get involved with the chaos that ensued.
So, Cleveland is a convenient two and a half hours away from the ALDC. Normally, that time would be filled with karaoke and me just trying to sleep so I don't have to fake any more happiness anymore, because it's draining.
Instead, Stacey woke up today and chose violence. About ten minutes, when Lilly and I were watching The Good Place, me trying to fall asleep, we start hearing screaming between Stacey and Ann. Like full-on, it's about to GO DOWN!
So, Gianna and some producers try to break up the fight. Brady takes Lilly away from the drama and Hannah starts crying. Then Stacey starts yelling at Hannah for crying, which is crossing a line. Parents don't yell at kids that aren't their own.
So, Hannah starts crying more, and that ticks Ann off to defend herself, then gets Gia to politely ask Stacey to stop, which pisses Stacey off so then she starts yelling at Gia, who then also starts crying, which ticks Joanne off. Then the domino effect happens. All of us try to get Stacey to stop one by one and then we start crying. Even Lilly. Everybody but Brady cried.
Safe to stay, even Lilly hated her mom by the end of the bus ride. I should just kill myself, then Stacey will finally be happy. Hannah was still crying when we got to Cleveland, which honestly takes talent to have that much tears.
So now, Mom and I are here in our hotel room. She's taking a shower right now. I just want to kill myself. Everything would be for the best.
Love,
sweet p