When a very talkative Mateo appeared at her apartment the following morning, Juliana assumed the man had already consumed four cups of coffee. After pushing past her in the doorway he continued to talk as he marched through her apartment to the small dining room where he dropped an envelope on to the table.
Her mother's birthday was just around the corner and like every year, she planned a short trip to San Antonio to celebrate with her. Juliana assumed her agent had come to deliver her plane tickets.
"Okay, here are your tickets," he announced with a big smile on his face.
Juliana chewed on her cereal as checked the papers in front of her.
"Mateo," she began, "there's two tickets here. Did you print my return ticket too?"
"No, no... the agency's contact in Texas will send the return tickets to your mom's house tomorrow," he explained.
"Uh... okay... so?" she asked, lifting another spoonful of fruit loops to her mouth.
"Well, the other ticket is for Valentina."
Juliana choked. Her cereal now stuck in her windpipe. As she coughed to clear the blockage, her agent ran to the kitchen for a glass of water to help ease her spluttering.
"Who?" she wheezed.
"Valentina. You've been dating her for almost six months, meeting her mother-in-law seems like the next natural step," he explained.
Juliana was sure it sounded logical in Mateo's head.
"What are you talking about? You want me to drag my mother into this farce? This has already gone too far!"
"But..."
"No, Mateo! This is crazy! Think about what you just said, it's been almost six months! Our deal is about to end! Why would I involve more people? Especially my mother. She's been asking me to bring a girlfriend home for years, I'm not going to introduce her to one who isn't real!"
"But that's even better! If you take Valentina, then you'll have an even better excuse when your relationship ends. Lupita won't expect you to bring home another woman for a long time."
"No! That is a terrible idea! Do you seriously not see that?"
"No, I don't see it... as I explained, I think it's a perfect solution to your situation. What's wrong with Valentina meeting your mom?"
"Everything, Mateo! All of it! The moment Valentina enters my house and my mom's eyes meet hers, Lupe is going to fall in love with her warmth, her beautiful smile, the way she talks with her entire body. My mother will love Valentina and she'll want her to be a part of my life forever. I know it, Mateo! And I know that because it's exactly how I feel!"
Juliana collapsed back into her chair, hiding her face in her hands. It was the first time she had openly admitted to the feelings that had been growing for weeks.
"Juli..."
"Tell me, Mateo," she interrupted, "How am I supposed to take the woman I'm in love with to meet my mother? Then in two weeks announce to the world, including my mother, that my girlfriend... is no longer mine?"
"Juliana..." Mateo began, carefully. "You're... how did you... you fell in love with Valentina?"
The brunette sat up to answer his question with a sad smile. "Isn't it obvious?" she said, shrugging her shoulders.
Mateo let out a long sigh and rested his weight on the back of the chair. "Well... I thought something was going on when I heard you used your race car to teach her how to drive. Hearing the car referred to as 'Musti' by the whole team, confirmed it."
The brunette laughed and shook her head at the ridiculous nickname, the name had grown on her a little.
"She's... she's beautiful, Mateo. Inside and out... I should have known this would happen."
"Juliana, you've always been surrounded by beautiful women," he tried to reason.
"But none like her," she sighed, "none."
They both stood silently, staring at the tickets, both lost in their own thoughts. It was obvious that no one knew what to do now.
Juliana was madly in love with Valentina, but it wasn't reciprocated.
In just two short weeks they would release statements on social media ending their non-existent relationship in the most impersonal way possible and they probably wouldn't cross paths ever again.
It was that simple.
"Well," the man spoke, interrupting the silence, "I'll call Eva and cancel the plan."
The brunette nodded as she stood, feeling completely disheartened, she lifted her bowl to return it to the kitchen. Even if Valentina wasn't accompanying her, she was still going to San Antonio to celebrate her mother's birthday. And she still had to prepare everything for her trip.
"I'll be packing in my room."
"Uhm... Juliana..." Mateo called, "we have a problem!" He announced, sliding the phone towards her on the table.
He had his chat with Eva open, who strangely had a heart next to her contact information.
EvaC♥️: Done... I already talked to Vale and she was happy to accept. I think she's already packing for her trip.
"Oh no."
*
Juliana had not been wrong.
From the very first moment Lupe and Valentina exchanged pleasantries, her mother had fallen prey to the chestnut's charm.
In the years since Juliana moved to Mexico, every time she came home to visit her mother, she was the centre of attention, the focus of her mother's care and adoration.
But on this occasion, Juliana was abandoned by the door with their suitcases while Lupe guided Valentina into the house, chatting like a couple of best friends who hadn't seen each other in years.
Even Panchito, Lupe's husband, was wearing a shocked expression as he greeted his stepdaughter.
"Juliana, come in and sit down," said her mother when the brunette appeared through the kitchen door. "Where's Panchito?"
"He went to close the workshop."
"Oh, okay. Well... come here. I'm just telling Valentina what you were like as a child. An absolute terror on the bumper carts."
"Ma!" Juliana complained, reluctantly sitting in the chair.
"Shhh, Juli, I'm your mother and I'm getting to know your girlfriend, it's my duty to embarrass you in front of her."
"Lupe..."
Valentina's hand slipping onto hers interrupted her.
"Juls... she's right. It's what moms do," she said, smiling for both women. "Plus, imagining you screaming like a maniac before you crash your car into another child's is hilarious."
"Oh, no. It was even the big ones, Valentina! They all thought they could get revenge but Juliana was too skilled and dodged them easily. She was barely ten years old but sitting behind the wheel was already her thing."
The conversation continued for a few hours, extending into dinner and beyond. It seemed like Lupe was making up for all the years she spent asking Juliana about a girlfriend.
At times like this, Juliana found it incredible how far they'd come.
Years ago, when Juliana had confessed to her mother that she liked women, Lupe had cried for hours. She'd asked repeatedly what she'd done wrong, what mistakes she had made. It had taken Juliana years to convince her mother that her sexuality wasn't a problem, a mistake, or something she would ever be ashamed of.
Panchito became her greatest ally. He helped open Lupe's eyes, teaching her to become a more tolerant person and to accept Juliana as she was. He reminded her that Juliana was still the little girl she had carried in her arms. She was the same little girl with pigtails that Lupe had forced into ridiculous pink dresses, with frilly socks and bows in her hair. And the same little girl Lupe had wanted to protect from the evil in their previous life.
Today, after a joint effort, Lupe accepted her daughter's sexual orientation as normal, because it was, and Juliana was extremely grateful.
"Lupe, it's late, Val is tired. You can continue to embarrass me tomorrow," Juliana groaned, trying to keep her own eyes open.
The green-eyed woman looked at her watch, her eyes widening in alarm. "Oh, yes. That's true. I'm so sorry mija. I didn't realise how late it was," she apologised to her new daughter-in-law.
"Don't worry ma'am, I didn't realise the time either," Valentina assured, tapping Lupe's hand.
"When I start talking about Juli, I just can't stop," Lupe apologised.
"I can imagine. You must be very proud of her."
"Incredibly. I love to talk about her accomplishments and how she managed to transform herself from a child who was angry with life, to the person she is now."
This comment piqued Valentina's interest. What did she mean by 'angry with life'? Valentina wanted to satisfy her curiosity and she would have asked what she meant, but Juliana was the one who spoke first.
"Ma! We need to get some sleep. Did you prepare the guest room like I asked?"
Lupe waved her hand in the air, dismissing her comment. "Oh Juli, you are a grown woman. I prepared your old bedroom; your things are already waiting for you there."
"But ma..."
"I'm not giving you permission to do anything other than share the room! The walls are very thin, mija, so no..."
"We're leaving, we're leaving... I'm not listening to you anymore!" Juliana took Valentina's hand, pulling her away. "We don't know what you're talking about! Look, we're already on the stairs! Goodnight!" Juliana quickly guided Valentina up the stairs, not stopping until she closed the bedroom door behind her.
Valentina's gaze swept the room taking in the paintings, the photographs, and the rest of the decorations. Apparently, Juliana was a girl like any other.
The brunette was doing something similar.
She hadn't been here for a year, the same reason that brought her back today. Everything was exactly the same, except for the sheets which were different colour. And an extra pair of pillows on the bed.
Lupe had really screwed up with this one, hadn't she?
While Valentina slipped into the bathroom to brush her teeth and change into her pyjamas, Juliana retrieved two blankets form the closet. She threw them on the sofa by the window before stealing two of the new pillows from the bed and placing them at one end of the sofa.
This was for the best. Sharing the bed with Valentina would only confuse things.
"What are you doing?" Valentina asked as she left the bathroom.
"Making my bed," she explained simply.
"Are you going to sleep there?"
They both looked in the direction of the sofa.
"Yes."
"Oh, okay. I think that's probably a good idea."
"Me too."
"Okay, good, I'm going to bed," she announced, slipping under the covers.
Juliana didn't say anything else; she lifted her sleepwear and entered the bathroom to change and get ready for bed.
Minutes later, Juliana returned to the room, turning off the light before settling on to her 'bed' for the weekend.
Not even three minutes had passed before Valentina, with one of her questions, prevented her from falling asleep.
"Juliana, are you sure you're comfortable over there?"
"Yes."
"Okay."
Another silence settled between them, but this one didn't last long either.
"That's good, because this is not one of those situations where the person in the bed invites the other person to share it."
"Okay."
"Because if you say you are comfortable over there, then there's no problem. So, it isn't necessary to ask you to come over here."
"No, it's not. And don't worry, I expected nothing less from you." Juliana provoked. Yes, she felt things for Valentina, but she still enjoyed making her angry.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Valentina asked, the annoyance in her tone was more than obvious
Juliana congratulated herself for having achieved her mission. "Nothing."
All sound ceased again for a few seconds.
"Juliana, what did you mean?"
"I already told you, nothing."
"Are you saying that you think I'm selfish?"
"I didn't say that."
"You did," she snapped immediately.
"When?"
"Your comment about not expecting me to let you sleep in the bed. But you know what, get up. I'll sleep on the couch!" Valentina hadn't finished speaking before she was already out of bed and moving towards the sofa.
"What? No, you're crazy, Val. Go to sleep."
"No, because while I'm comfortable in bed, you'll be over here playing the martyr on the sofa. Move."
"No!"
"Juliana."
"Valentina, don't be ridiculous! There's the bed. Go to asleep." Juliana turned her back on the chestnut and covered her head, trying to end this silly argument.
Not a minute had passed before she felt someone push her towards the back of the sofa.
"Move over!" Valentina whispered in a commanding voice.
"What are you doing?"
"Well, if you won't sleep in the bed, then neither of us will!"
The brunette couldn't believe the madness that was occurring at this moment. Maybe it was the desire to finally sleep next to the woman she loved, even if it would only happen once, but she didn't want to resist anymore. Juliana moved further back, making enough space for the chestnut to lay beside her.
Valentina quietly settled against her, her cheek resting on Juliana's chest.
Unlike ten minutes before when Juliana was exhausted and wanting to sleep, now she was more awake than ever. Her heart was racing and it was obvious that the blue-eyed girl knew. Juliana swore she felt her smile against her chest.
"Juls?"
Apparently, Valentina had lost her desire to sleep as well.
"Hmm?"
"What did your mom mean when she said you were a child angry with life?" She asked cautiously, like she had spent time trying to phrase it correctly.
Juliana sighed. "There's... there are a lot of reasons, Val. But I think we should get some rest now; it's been a very long day."
"Okay," Valentina whispered, her voice laced with sadness, which bothered Juliana more than it should.
"Tomorrow, okay? I'll take you somewhere that will help me explain," she promised.
"Okay," Valentina murmured, her body conforming to Juliana's before burying her nose in Juliana's neck. "Until tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Val."
Sleep slowly took hold of her. Just as love had, Juliana surmised. Valentina had somehow entered her heart without her even noticing, and in two weeks, she would have to let her leave.
*
"Val?"
The soft voice reached her ears as delicately as the caress on her cheek, but Valentina's eyelids felt heavy, she was still exhausted from the day before.
"Val?" Juliana insisted, adding a little more volume to her gravelly morning tone.
Juliana! Remembering who the voice belonged to, and the circumstances in which they had fallen sleep the night before, Valentina immediately opened her eyes. She scanned her body, still covered by the blankets, but she was alone on the sofa.
Turning to her left, she found a smiling Juliana perched on the edge of the sofa, her soft brown eyes narrowing with the gesture.
"Hey," Valentina whispered.
"Good morning. How did you sleep?" she asked.
"Okay, what about you?"
Juliana had to block the memory that came to mind at Valentina's innocent question because otherwise, her blush would have betrayed her.
She had woken up very close to the actress, which was inevitable given the space they shared. The problem was, Juliana had woken up that morning because of the pressure on... well... on an area that hadn't seen much action lately!
Valentina must have moved during the night, her body practically on top of racer's with one leg pressed firmly between Juliana's. When the actress had exerted some pressure, rubbing against the area, Juliana had immediately reacted, releasing a small moan.
Terrified Valentina had heard her, the brunette had looked at her beautiful face. Relieved she was still asleep; she took a moment to appreciate Valentina's delicate features as she rested. Juliana only noticed another important detail as she glanced down at their entwined bodies. The chestnut's hand had burrowed its way under her pyjama top, leaving her navel uncovered, her long fingers practically cupping Juliana's breast.
Which, of course, helped rouse other parts of her body.
For numerous reasons, and with a heavy heart, Juliana carefully untangled herself before slipping quietly into the bathroom to finish what the blue-eyed woman had started.
Juliana had no control over the blush that coloured her face now.
"Good," the brunette answered, her voice trembling slightly. She swallowed heavily before clearing her throat.
"What time is it?" Valentina asked, stretching lazily.
"It's just after eight."
"Oh. Do you always get up so early?"
"Yes, but we have somewhere to go today, remember?"
"We do?" Valentina asked confused.
"I told you I would answer your question today." Juliana added a hint to help her remember.
"Oh!" Valentina's eyes widened at the realisation. "Yes, I remember. I'll change and we can leave."
"I'll wait for you downstairs with breakfast."
"Okay."
The chestnut stood and ran to the bathroom to get ready to start her day, while Juliana went downstairs to help her mother in the kitchen.
Although Juliana tried to hurry their breakfast, Lupe continued to engage Valentina in conversation, amusing her with embarrassing stories that earned tears of laughter from them, and eye rolls from the brunette.
Two hours later, the girls cruised through San Antonio in Juliana's beloved Maverick '72. The orange car with black stripes had been a shared project for Juliana and Panchito over the years.
The further they drove through the city, the more precarious and dangerous it became. Like her life, but in reverse.
This was a part of her life she rarely shared with anyone. Mateo was the only person, outside of her family, who knew this portion of her past.
They soon arrived on the wrong side of the tracks; a sea of mobile homes marred the landscape, the families who lived here struggling in poverty.
Juliana parked and secured her car. She silently took Valentina by the hand and led her along the dirt paths between the caravans, until they reached a trailer that hadn't been inhabited for a long time.
"Here it is," Juliana announced, standing by the steps leading to the door.
"What is this place?" Valentina whispered.
The brunette sighed.
"A special place," she replied solemnly as she pulled a bunch of keys from her jacket. "Shall we go in?"
Valentina nodded, clinging tighter to her hand.
The interior of the trailer hadn't changed much over the years, except for the obvious wear of the furniture. A thick layer of dust covered everything taking the shine off the surfaces, the curtains had faded under the Texan sun. And the silence... the peace and loneliness it brought.
"Juls?" Valentina called, standing next to the sofa that had once been her bed. "Did you live here?" she asked, holding a framed photograph, the only photograph neither she nor her mother had wanted to keep. Juliana nodded as she stepped towards her. "Who is he?"
Juliana didn't need to look; she knew who Valentina was referring to.
"That man," she began with a sombre tone, "is El Chino Valdés, my father and the main reason for all my anger in life."
Valentina remained silent, and Juliana understood that she was giving her a chance to explain, if she wanted to.
Juliana took a seat and encouraged Valentina to do the same. She wasn't sure if Valentina's opinion would change after hearing her story, but she wanted to tell her. She wanted Valentina to see every part of her, no matter how painful or embarrassing it was.
"My dad wasn't a good person, Val," she began, staring absently at the photograph that was now in her hands. Those contempt-filled eyes were fixed on her, like so many times before. "Other than treating me with contempt because he never believed I was his daughter, or the violence he filled our home with, Chino was a criminal."
"Is... is he in jail?"
Juliana shook her head in denial and the chestnut frowned.
"My dad wasn't just a criminal, Valentina. He murdered people for money. He was a hitman for the cartel." Juliana trembled as she revealed the information. Clenching her jaw, she looked at the woman she loved to gauge her reaction. The news had surprised her, no doubt, but she found no rejection in her eyes, no fear, only the desire to listen. "I learned about his job on the news when he was imprisoned for killing a judge. He was sentenced to life in prison or the death penalty."
"Juls," Valentina clung to her wrist.
"We were given the option of attending his execution. The judge was someone important and his son had accelerated the process to end my father's life. His way of getting revenge, I guess." She cleared her throat and continued. "I don't know why I agreed to accompany my mother. I had just turned eighteen so I was old enough, but it was weird."
"In what way?"
"When I was little, I wanted to please him. I thought if I behaved, Chino would treat me better, but as I grew up, I realised that was never going to happen. So, as far as he was concerned, I turned to stone. I didn't care what he did or didn't do to me."
Valentina's thumb began to move up and down her forearm, offering comfort.
"But, seeing him in that chair, dressed in an orange jumpsuit, with all those wires attached..." she took a deep breath. "His face was expressionless but I could see the fear in his eyes, he knew he was seconds from leaving this world..." she paused, letting a few seconds pass because not even her mom knew this part.
"It hurt, Val. It hurt that he left like that, without giving me even one father and daughter moment. Deep down I think I still hoped to make him proud of me. But he was taken so quickly, in such a horrible way. Chino... he left me with years of bitterness, of hatred. I felt like screaming and unloading everything inside, but the person who deserved those rants was gone, I didn't realise the damage he had caused... so I took it out on the world and my mom."
"How?"
"I became a headache. I never used drugs or anything like that. I don't smoke and I hate alcohol because it made my childhood a living hell. Chino was a drinker," she clarified before continuing. "But I spent a couple of years of running away from home, from school, arguing with Lupe and whoever else got in my way."
"So what happened? What changed?"
The brunette leaned back on the seat. "Necessity."
"Necessity?"
"My rebellion forced me to get a job to prove I didn't need Lupe. I started asking around to see who would hire me, but no one wanted to give me a chance. Then one day, I walked into Panchito's workshop and discovered a passion I hadn't realised was there."
"Cars?"
"Yeah," she confirmed. "When Panchito and Lupe began their relationship, things with my mother improved. Pancho bought an old car to restore, the Mav we came in," she smiled, the cloud of melancholy that had enveloped them began to ease. "It was our project for months. When we eventually put it together the way we wanted, he signed up for a local racing circuit. It wasn't anything big, but when he broke his leg in the workshop, Panchito didn't trust anyone but me to drive our car. So... I took his place as a driver and the rest is history."
Juliana fell silent, allowing Valentina to process all the information.
"Wow, Juls. I had no idea you went through all that. Things in your house look so good that... well, I... I really admire you."
"Val..."
"No, I'm serious. What an amazing life story." The compliment made the brunette blush. "You are remarkable, Juliana. You and your family. I'm glad you are fulfilling your dreams and I am sure the championship is just the beginning of better things for you."
"Thank you," she murmured. "What about you? What's your life story? Only if you want to share of course."
Valentina smiled before answering.
"Oh, well, there's not much to tell. The truth is, I'm lucky. I grew up in a wealthy family, full of love. I always wanted to be an actress so, when the time came, I studied acting and... voila!" she shrugged her shoulders.
"I'm glad it happened like that. We can't all walk through life having tragic pasts, balance in the universe is important!" she joked. Juliana liked knowing that Valentina had grown up surrounded by the love she deserved. But there was still one topic she was curious about. She didn't want to be intrusive, so she tried to word her question with an option to answer rather than making it an obligation. "And... um... what about... uh... what about the thing Eva said months ago?"
"My sister says a lot of things, Juls. You need to be more specific."
"Yes, uhm... the day we invented this relationship in your apartment, she talked about Jimena, how when she left you, she generated speculation." Valentina's expression completely changed when she heard the name. "She's your ex, isn't she?"
Valentina surprised herself when she didn't hesitate to share this information with Juliana.
"Yes, she's my ex," she confirmed, taking a deep breath. "I met her when I bought my apartment, in fact, she sold it to me. We clicked from the beginning, she asked me out, one thing led to another and we became a couple within a few months. Life was a fairy-tale from then on. Contrary to gay norms, it took us a whole year to move in together and our happiness remained as idyllic as ever. Or... well... I guess I forced myself to believe that because there were many things that weren't right."
"Hmm."
The actress paused thinking about all the situations that should have been red flags and how they got to that point.
"Jimena was my first relationship with a woman. I... I knew I was bisexual, don't get me wrong," she quickly clarified. "I realised in high school that I was attracted to my English teacher, but maybe out of habit, or fear, I had only ever been with men before her and... I guess I was afraid to... come out... publicly."
"Of course. It's not an easy thing to do. Was she?"
"Absolutely. Jimena was open about her sexuality and she wanted that for our relationship. As did I, except..."
"You weren't ready," Juliana completed for her.
"Exactly!" Valentina exclaimed confirming her thought. "It was going to happen eventually but she began to press, to leave hints that suggested she didn't want to hide any longer, she was tired of introducing me as her friend, and so on. One day we had a massive argument over something trivial, the result of pent-up tension. She left to spend the night at her friend's house and I panicked. Afraid to lose her, I called Victoria myself to ask for the space that same afternoon."
Valentina pressed her elbows into her knees and dropped her face into her hands to hide her face. "I should have called Eva. She would have planned something smarter, like what we've done, revealing the information slowly, then confirm it with small actions, or another statement, in an organic and natural way. But I panicked and did what I did."
"And that was bad because..."
"Because the spotlight was suddenly on Jimena. Cameras were waiting for her outside her work, when she left the gym, her photograph appeared on social media, on TV and gossip magazines, trying to get information on the woman who turned Valentina Carvajal gay!"
Both women rolled their eyes, because those kinds of statements were as wrong as they were common.
"It was too much for her. A month later she confessed she was feeling overwhelmed, that this wasn't how she imagined our life together and she wasn't willing to sacrifice her privacy. She stood, lifted her red suitcase, the one she always used for our trips, the rest of her clothes had already been removed from our closet, she left the keys on the coat rack and... left."
Valentina only realised a few tears had escaped when she felt Juliana delicately wipe them away with her thumbs.
"I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," she shook her head. "I'm okay."
And she meant it. Talking about it felt like picking at a wound that was about to heal. It hurt... but not like it had before and she knew she would forget how much it hurt eventually.
Both women remained silent, the air around them felt heavy after sharing their most intimate secrets, but inside, they both felt much lighter.
Another step forward.
"Okay... I think it's time to leave. This place brings nothing but sadness, so let's leave it here." The brunette suggested while gently tucking a strand of Valentina's brown hair behind her ear.
"Yeah... we should go."
Juliana led Valentina back through the caravans to the car, they needed to get home and prepare for Lupe's party.