Cassie Howard:
It was a fucking disaster after she left, I threw everything from the wall and tore pictures in pieces, breaking the empty glasses that were filled with juice. I felt like all the blood were streaming down out of my hands like I just murdered someone, maybe it is time for that, not really murdering someone else but maybe it's time to murder this version of myself and be a whole new person. Not the caring, loyal friend but someone who doesn't care anyone, cause I stopped caring when she closed the door of my house to just go straight away to Nate's like nothing happened. Maybe I should just throw my phone away it's not like i wanna interact with social media anymore but maybe just keep it for music since that's my only comfort these times. Some may say I'm overreacting but I'm so fucking tired, it's like I'm living in hell but the worse part is gonna happen but I'm already breaking cause of the first symptoms. But first some ground rules: #1 no more interacting with people cause they are only making life more shit can't accept what you wear do or say, #2 no more relationships to distract myself and just overall, I'm better then that, #3 fuck Maddy, if she's only using me then fuck her, she doesn't deserve someone like me. Maybe I should just scrap the third knowing i would run back to her like a lost sheep cause she's my weakness. But maybe for today let's keep #3. It's time for a change and if I was in Nate his shoes I would run away not first looking if my shoes are tied cause he's going down.