bey
Today Onika had her first doctors appointment for Blaze. I cried a little bit but the important part is that he's healthy.
It's too early to see the sec of the baby. The baby isn't even really a baby yet. Next time we get to actually see it, I know for sure I'm going to cry again.
Onika wasn't as excited as me but she's already done this twice. She was kinda just watching the doctor.
It still hasn't fully registered that I'm going to have a child. I'm about to be a mother. That's crazy.
I'm excited but obviously really scared. All kids love me so I hope my own does. Everyone says they have an instant connection with their baby so I hope that.
I hope I can be a good mother. The only thing in my way is germs. If I got thrown up on I would either throw up too or cry.
I still have time to change. l obviously can't completely get over it but I can learn to deal with baby stuff like changing diapers and spit up's.
I can always practice with baby Giselle. I changed my first diaper because of her.
Kelly already told me Onika thinks she's my daughter. I don't know why she hasn't came to me and asked me yet.
Tonight was Prom night so Onika was dropping Amir and his date off at a restaurant to meet their friends.
We both know he's going to end up doing something he's not supposed to but we just don't know what.
Me and Onika made a bet. She thinks he's going to get into a fight with Bryson. I think he's not going to come home at all and go have sad wint Bryson.
It's probably going to be a mixture of both knowing him.
I was supposed to be here watching Imani but I'm just laying in Onikas bed because she's not talking to me.
When Onika said she was going to make them stop being disrespectful, she meant it. Since I was the reason Imani got in trouble, she blamed me.
I don't know what she did but oh well. She shouldn't have been being disrespectful.
I was starting to get bored but when I heard the front door opened I smiled. Onika was home.
It took her a minute to come upstairs but when she did she jumped onto the bed with me. She was a lot happier than she was when she left.
"Blaze probably thinks he's on a roller coaster with the way you just jumped." I don't think she's supposed to be doing stuff like that.
"Shut up." She moved directly on top of me and nuzzled her face in my neck. "I want to cook for you."
"You want to cook for me?"
"Mhm. I feel bad, everything I cook has meat in it so you can't eat it. Imani already ate dinner so let me cook something for you and we can eat together."
I couldn't stop myself from smiling, she can be really nice when she wants to. "Okay, thank you."
"What do you want to eat?"
"Do you remember what the first thing you cooked for me was?"
She nodded her head in my neck. "I think so."
"That's what I want. If you don't mind."
"Okay, it'll be done in an hour." She pecked my lips and got out of bed.
I watched her leave the room. Her body looks even better now that she's pregnant.
I waited a little bit then I went downstairs too. Onika was over the stove cooking.
I came behind her and hugged her. "I like this."
She looked up at me and smiled. "The food?"
"No I like- I don't know how to say it but you get it." I really am terrible with my words.
She turned around and faced me. I automatically put my hands on the counter by her sides.
"No I don't, try again."
"I like this feeling, we feel like a family. It's nice to feel like you have people."
I don't have the best relationship with my family so to feel like I have my own now makes me so happy.
"Me too. I'm so grateful for you, I didn't think I could ever have something like this. You showed me not everyone's bad and it's okay to trust people. Not to mention my parents, I probably wouldn't have reconnected with them if you did t encourage me to."
"I love you."
It's so crazy that I can just say that to her now. I've thought it a million times but to be able to say it to her face is just different.
"Mhm, I bet you do."
"Say it back."
She smirked, "Or what?"
"Or I'm not letting you wake me up to have sex anymore."
"I love you too Beyoncé."
I smiled and kissed her. I was happy.
I left her alone so she could finish cooking. I got my laptop from upstairs so I could grade stuff while I waited.
30 minutes later she called me into the kitchen. I closed my laptop and went.
"You have to make your own plate.I would've felt like too much of a housewife if I did."
"Your remembered." She made baked ziti. That's what she brought for me when she lost to me in that basketball game.
"To be honest, I didn't. It was the first page in the cookbook Robyn gave me for you."
"You should've lied but it's okay. Thank you." I kissed her and made a plate.
She was already at the table when I was done so I just joined her. I actually had my pasta for here with me. I started bringing more stuff over the more I started coming over here.
"You're not eating?" She's literally always eating.
"I'm not hungry right now. I'll eat something later."
"Okay." I took a bite of pasta, it was so good. Before I could compliment her, she said something.
"Move in."
"Hm?" She caught me completely off guard.
"Like, live here. You basically do so just move in."
"I don't want to."
"Why not?" I could tell she was trying not to cry already.
"I like having my own space. It's nothing against you but I like having my own house I can go to and be alone."
"Why do you need an entire house of space? You could go into the guest room if you need to be alone."
"It's not the same. You said I basically live here so why do we need to change anything? I spend the night here almost every night, why do I need to officially live here?"
"Whatever." Now she's going to have an attitude for the rest of the night.
"Please don't be mad."
"Can I have some?" She pointed to my food.
"I- Onika-"
"Just stop talking to me." She was only being mean because she was hungry.
"You can have it, I'll get more." I took my fork with me and got another plate.
Somehow, she had another fork when I got back. I didn't even question it, I just sat back down.
"So when do we buy cribs and stuff?" There's so much I want to do but it just feels too early.
"I want to find out if it's a boy or girl first so we can paint the room."
"The room you promised me?"
"Shut up. I do want to figure out a name early, I don't want this baby to be born without a name. I didn't name Imani until the week after she was born."
"Blaze if it's a boy, Kelendria if it's a girl."
"I'm trying to be serious and you think everything's a joke."
I took her fork and fed her a spoonful of the pasta. She's going to keep being mean until she's full.
"Giselle."
"No."
"Beyoncé."
"You keep saying the sane names over and over again."
"Okay, okay, I have a real one." She wasn't wrong, I was messing with her.
"Say it."
"Abeille. It means bee in French but I really like that one."
There was a faint smile on her face. "That's not that bad."
"If we have a daughter, I want to at least have her middle name be Kelendria. Please."
"If you get to pick the first and middle name then I get to pick the last name."
"That's not fair."
"Yes it is."
"No it's not. You already have two kids with your last name, why can't my only child have my last name? We could even hyphenate it, Knowles-Maraj."
"Maraj-Knowles. At least let my name be first, I'm the one carrying it."
"You know whichever name is first is the one they're going to say, that's not fair."
She shrugged, "Life's not fair baby."
She's going to change her mind before this baby comes out so I'm not even worried.
After we finished eating, we went to the couch to watch a movie.
We were supposed to be waiting for Amir to come home but I didn't expect him to come.
He said he was going to an after party but Lord knows where he's actually going.
All I know is, he's going to have to deal with Onika when he gets here. She is not playing playing with these kids anymore, they got too comfortable.
We were waiting for so long that we ended up falling asleep on the couch.
She was making us watch some romantic comedy with Taraji P. Henson. Had it been a Marvel movie, we would've been up all night.
I jumped awake when my phone started ringing. I quickly answered it so it wouldn't wake Onika up too. "Hello?"
"You have some visitors, please hurry up and get here." It was Kelly, she sounds like she just woke up.
"Huh? Who?"
"Your stepson and his friend."
"My stepson? Give him the phone."
While Kelly was giving Amir the phone, I carefully stood up without waking Onika up. It was hard because she was laying on me but I managed.
"Hello?" Amir had the phone now.
"One second." I put my slides on and stepped outside. "Are you drunk?"
"Uhh what does that mean?" So yes.
"I'll be there in a couple minutes. You better hope you and your boyfriend sober up by the time I get there." I hung up, I would see him when I get home.
I got in my car and drove home. It was the middle of the night so the roads were clear and I could get home faster.
I got home and slowly unlocked the door for dramatic effect. I walked in and it was completely silent.
Bryson and Amir were sitting on the couch and Kelly was sitting with her head down at the table.
I softly shook Kelly shoulders. "I'm sorry, you can go to sleep now."
She grumbled and stomped upstairs. I'm surprised she didn't say anything, she hates being woken up.
I walked over it the couch where Amir and Bryson were sitting. Amir was on his phone and Bryson was leaning on his shoulder.
"You're drunk?"
"I play basketball, I don't drink." He was slurring his words and he wouldn't look at me, he was obviously drunk.
"Either you can be honest or I can make you run laps until you tell the truth."
"I had a couple drinks, I'm not drunk."
"How did you get here?"
"Um a car?"
"Who drove Amir."
"Uhh, I don't remember. Either me or Bryson."
"So you drove drunk?!" I really didn't want to yell because Kelly was sleeping but I couldn't help it.
"Who's drunk?"
"Do you know how irresponsible that is? You could've killed someone or yourself."
"The police came, we had to."
"The police?!"
"What police?"
"What- I can't do this while you're drunk. I'll talk to you in the morning. You guys can stay the night, I'll get some blankets."
"Please don't tell my mom. She'll kill me."
"I won't."
I went to my linen closet and got two thin blankets.
I came back and threw them on top of Amir. It's not like it was going to hurt him or anything.
"Don't throw up anywhere and no sex on my couch. Not even any kissing."
"Thank you."
"No problem."
"I wish you were my dad. You're not a man or anything but- yeah."
"Me too."
"No you don't."
"Why do you say that?" Maybe he'll actually be honest with alcohol in his system.
"You don't like me like you like Imani."
"I love the both of you. I'm just not going to treat a little girl who cries when I don't call her princess and you, damn near a grown man the same."
"But I still have feelings."
"I'm sorry. I just play around with you. I'll be more considerate of your feelings."
"That one day in the car, my mom said I love you to Imani and even you but she didn't say it to me."
"I-"
"You guys might as well just call me a bottoming fag. I can't even breathe without being called a sissy or zesty or sassy or just slick stuff like that. How does she expect me to be comfortable with who I am if she keeps saying stuff like that?"
"I didn't even think of it like that, I'm sorry." I didn't know what to say but luckily I didn't have to because I heard snoring a second later.
I put the blanket over him and Bryson and went upstairs to go to sleep.
——
there's probably less than 10 chapter left
Bey?
Onika?
Imani ignoring Bey?
Onika cooking for Bey?
Bey and Onika expressing their feelings for each other?
Bey not wanting to move in with Onika?
Bey and Onika having a disagreement about their baby's last name?
Amir showing up at Beys house drunk? Him drunk driving?
Amir's drunken rant? Should they be more considerate of his feelings?
Baby names?
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