A/N: Chapter is 2400 words long!! Hope you all enjoy!!! :)
Chapter 17
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The Root Of It All
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Coiny's P.O.V:
To be completely honest, I didn't know what I was doing. I hung my head as I placed my hands on my knees to support myself, gasping for air.
The steep hill was usually easy to walk up. Today it was like the wind was pushing me back. I knew the backpack stuffed to the brim with cans was holding me back, but I couldn't exactly throw them out. I closed my eyes for a second, breathing heavily before letting it all out. Despite the air being cold, I felt the heat run down my body as if someone doused me in hot water.
Sighing, I continued trudging forward. I couldn't tell the time out here, but I assumed it was 2:30. It was getting late by the minute and I needed to get back home by 5:30 at the most. Just before the sunrise.
Standing atop the hill, I could see the flickering light of the fire burning. The warm glow oozed onto the bushes of yoyleberries.
I made my way down the hill, pebbles falling with my footsteps. Step by step, trying my best not to trip. I hadn't dressed myself to the best of my terrible abilities just for me to fall in the dirt. After all, it was her birthday. She deserved it.
"Hey Coiny," she greeted. I could hear the faint hint of sadness in her words. Her sight was stuck on the fire before us as she carved a piece of wood into a stake. The chips of wood fell on her thighs as she focused on the gentle sway of the flames.
"Hey Leafy."
She didn't move. Her sight was stuck on the blaze, continuing to shave the tanbark off the stake. How she hadn't cut herself was impressive. It took her a moment to turn to me, but when she did; she eyed me, smiling.
"You look nice."
I sensed my face flush, surprised by the statement. I laughed at the compliment, shrugging it off. "Ah, it's nothing." I knelt beside her, pulling the backpack over my shoulder, trying to show her. "It's just your birthday!"
Her sight faltered for a second, glancing from the backpack to me. Some part of me liked to imagine confetti falling from the sky at the mention of her birthday. And I was hoping she would take it positively.
Yet instead, she stayed silent, stuck looking at the backpack.
Leafy spoke up after a while, confusion falling on her face as she looked me in the eye. Her eyes glossed with
"It's my birthday?"
My smile turned to panic. I opened my mouth to speak but instantly shut it. It felt wrong to speak at that moment—as I had just witnessed a break-up.
"It's March 9th, right?"
'Stupid! You fucking idiot! You got the wrong date wrong!!'
Setting both the wooden stake and her knife far out of our reach, Leafy grabbed the straps of the backpack, pulling it in front of her, fixated on her present. She nodded in response to my question, turning to face me, uncertainty glistening in her eyes. I could see the gears click into place as she looked back to the backpack. Leafy unzipped the main pocket, the cans rolling out from the sudden loss of pressure.
It was silent. A weird silence.
The gray-haired girl reached out for a can, mumbling the words under her breath.
"Apricots..."
Running her hand through her hair, she looked at me again. Joy. It was what I could read on her face. A sigh of relief fell from her mouth as she set down the can.
And without hesitation, she tackled me into a hug. I fell on my back as I heard her giggle before laughing from the sheer joy.
I grunted from the sudden impact of the ground, my mind processing the moment. It was not the reaction I was expecting, but a positive. I could barely make out the words she was saying. The only words I could hear were, "Thank you!"
I chuckled, patting her back as she kept repeating 'Thank you' as I supported myself with my arm. She pulled away from the hug. I could see the tears that pricked her eyes, threatening to fall as she kept softly laughing. Her hands were still on my shoulders as if debating to hug me again. I wouldn't have minded it. But she eventually let go.
"Um, I'm sorry."
The gears in my head clicked, promptly asking, "What?" As I listened to what she had to say, I composed myself, shifting in my seat.
Leafy ran her hand behind her neck sheepishly. She pressed her knees closer to her chest, looking everywhere else but towards me. "I'm sorry. That was excessive, huh?" she spoke under the sound of the crackling flames. She readjusted her sitting position, turning to face the fire, but I stayed still, my sight stuck on her.
Contemplation.
She contemplated with her sight on the fire. Why she always stared at the fire was something I wanted to ask for a while. But again, that could wait for later.
Had I done something wrong? She was so happy just mere seconds ago.
I scooted closer to her, hoping she would still say something. And much to my surprise, she did.
"You know, it's nice of you, Coiny," the girl stated, folding her arms. She still pressed her sight on the embers before turning to the grass underneath us. Flicking a single blade of grass, she kept quiet. She faintly furrowed her brows, biting her lips.
She took a heavy breath in, abruptly turning to me. "Why?"
The question surprised me. "Uh, why what?"
She sighed, puffing up her cheeks, folding her arms again as she looked away from me.
'God. I forgot she did that...'
Faintly tapping her fingers on her arm, she glanced back at me, debating what to do. Forcing a sigh out, she slapped her hands over her face, followed by a loud groan of frustration.
'That's definitely the Leafy I know.'
I kept quiet, seeing her drastic change from so blunt to-well-her old self. What I remembered of her old self, at least. Her hair fell as she hunched over, covering her face. A couple of seconds ticked by and I dared not to speak.
A way to kill me, maybe?
Her hair still covered her face, swaying with the drift of the wind. I clicked my tongue against my teeth at the thought; completely ridiculous. She appeared to just be nervous. Her leg bouncing, she kept her hands stuck on her face.
She lifted her head, biting the knuckle of her index finger, completely drowned in thought. A deep breath in and a deep breath out. She looked at me, finally speaking.
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
"Oh."
I shifted in my seat, fidgeting with the pull tab on my jacket. What was I supposed to say to that?
Was there anything to say?
My brain sped through thoughts and scenarios, trying to figure out what to do. Speak or not to speak, that was the question. I'd look like an idiot if I didn't speak. But I couldn't think of any words to say. Something had scrubbed out the entire vocabulary from my head.
I let out a heavy sigh I didn't know I had been holding.
"In all honesty, Leafy," I stopped, rummaging through sentences to say. It wasn't like I was hiding anything.
"I sort of don't know." Words ran like liquid trickling through the cracks of my hand. I could feel her sight stuck on me, awaiting my response. I bit my lip, feeling the air get thinner. There was nothing to hide.
"I guess it started with guilt. After all, we chased you into what everyone seemed to think was obscurity." I stopped to look up at her. Leafy was no longer looking at me. Her sight was on the flames, a pensive frown painted on her face.
I felt the sting of guilt twist in my gut as I saw visible frustration loom in her eyes. I swallowed the little pride I had stuck in my throat. There was no point in avoiding the elephant in the room.
"I know this will probably come across as insensitive—and it probably is—but I know what I did." I looked away, my breath fastening.
Unconsciously, I could feel her sight fall back on me. "I know I chased you that day! I was part of the mob. The death penalty is something I encouraged against you. I know you saw me! We made eye contact! And even if it was for a split second, I—" I stopped myself, gasping for air. I hadn't properly breathed throughout the entire discourse. My head was light, completely blank, like a whiteboard. Thinking hurt me, like a scissor digging into my flesh.
"I'm sorry."
It was a statement shrouded in panic. One that I couldn't even recall if I had previously said to her. My tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. Everything I had done had led to this one moment. For her to listen to me, not just hear my voice.
I brought my knees to my chest, the fabric of my jacket bunching around my elbows.
"I—really am sorry," I said once more, keeping my head down. The weight of my actions pushing me deeper into the earth. My brain felt like static, drowning out anything but those vivid memories. It only brought me shame. Shame that felt like I could never wash off my skin.
"Coiny."
I turned to face her. A faint grin tugged the corners of her lips as she stretched out her legs, getting comfortable before she spoke to me. "I know you are..."
She had thrown a heap of sincerity over me like a weighted blanket. "I could tell after your first few visits," she leaned back, a hint of happiness in her smile. "You kept coming back and back, even after I had told you to leave," Leafy laughed at the thought, setting her hand spread across her forehead. "And I know you were there. Because the moment I turned around, I saw you. Funnily enough," the green-haired girl chuckled, her usual melancholic smile beaming.
"I got a scar from that damn fence." She ran her hand across her right cheek. Turning her head, showcasing the small scar that ran across the bottom of her cheek to underneath her eye. Never had I noticed it, such a thin line that had stitched itself.
I stayed silent, digging my nails into the palm of my hand as she sighed. "I know you did so much against me." She fiddled with her fingers, her sight never stopping in one place for more than a second. "I thought about it the first time you came by."
Leafy kept silent, pushing a stray hair strand behind her ear.
"I was so mad at everything. My mind wanted to just get rid of you." A smile creased her face as a sore chuckle left her throat. "I thought you-" she stopped, retracing her words, her sight faltering for a quick moment. She pivoted her head, turning her sight away from me, grimacing.
Her breath was just audible enough, hearing it grow heavier, like a panic attack growing. I placed my hand on her shoulder, hoping to reassure her it was okay.
Leafy turned to look at me, anxiety pallid on her skin. Her mouth somewhat opened, and she heaved for air in a scurry. A simple glance was all it took for her to calm down, her smile gradually wedging itself onto her.
I could see the pain in her eyes as she said, "I assumed someone sent you out to kill me."
I scowled at the concept. She shrugged, facing the fire for a brief second, quickly batting away. Just noticeable, yet I could see Leafy desperately trying to regain her breath.
"Looking back at it, I was just concerned about my wellbeing."
"I think anyone would have been," I added, unintentionally inserting my thoughts.
Silence. The crackling fire harmonized in the air, soft embers floating in the air before dying out. I wanted to speak, but my brain couldn't wrap around how open she was. Even in BFDI, she was never so open. At least not to me. I also couldn't comprehend I was talking to her. To the Leafy I had known. She was both the one I recognized—and somehow was utterly different. It tempted me to hug her. My train of thought crashed when she spoke again.
"I guess I can't be mad." She pressed her lips together firmly as if trying to stop herself from speaking. But she spoke anyway, her breath hitching as she continued. "After all," she stopped, pondering for a second. "You're the only one who visits me." She looked blankly at the ground, running her hand behind her neck. The words leaked through her throat as she glanced back at me. Leafy breathed out, letting her hand fall onto the grass, clutching on the grass. "Coiny, I'm grateful for everything you've done." A smile bloomed on her face like a flower in the morning.
"I truly am."
I could feel the words delicately tug at my heartstring. Not a second had passed when I felt Leafy place her hand on my shoulder, her bashful smile growing as she peered down to make eye contact.
"Thanks, Coiny."
My face reddened at the unexpected but welcomed words she had said. It enticed me to speak, opening my mouth, hoping the words would jump out, and yet, of course, nothing happened. Agape, I sat, the words stuck around my vocal cords. What was there to say? I spilled the truth like boiling milk. My body tensed as I shut my mouth, unsure of what to say. All I could do was grin back, hoping it would show my feelings to her.
She patted my shoulder before pulling me into another hug. One that I fully accepted, wholly embracing it. At the touch of her skin, my shoulders fell with a sense of ease. My face was in the crook of her neck, iffy on what to do. My heart raced as I felt her heartbeat, feeling the comfort of her chest so close to mine.
"I genuinely mean it, Coiny. It means the world to me."
My grip around her shoulders tightened as I felt my heart skip a beat.