BLAIR
“I need to talk to you.” I didn’t sleep at all last night and if my best friend wasn’t newly engaged I would have called her after Cody left my place to vent and help her calm my nerves and my overworked brain. She was probably cuddled up in bed with her fiance and the last thing I wanted to do was drag her out of bed because my life had become a huge mess.
My mental health was already struggling in the last two weeks since Cody showed back up in Strawberry, but last night just pushed it over the edge. Handling Cody in small doses was okay. We’ve known each other our entire lives and even though he broke my heart and it took a long time to recover from that, he was still a person that I knew and I knew that he was a good, kind-hearted soul. Did I want to be his best friend? Not especially, but I could handle him when the situation called for it.
Now he was everywhere. It wasn’t just him showing up at my work or doing morning workouts with Harrison, he was actually at my house, in my living space last night. Part of it felt so right and so natural. The way he would go back and forth with Hayes, how he remembered his favorite dessert and even cleared the table before dessert. He loaded the dishwasher the correct way! (There is a correct way, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.) Then there were moments I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The scent of his cologne still lingered this morning and the way my body reacted when he touched my hand to grab the kitchen towel was too much.
After a night of tossing and turning, I needed my best friend. That is why I wasted no time this morning. I dropped my things off in my office and made a beeline for hers.
“You look like you had a rough morning,” Angela said with a sympathetic look.
“It wasn’t just a rough morning,” I groaned as I slumped down into the chair in front of her desk. “The entire night was rough. I hardly slept. This morning I went to make my coffee and I forgot to put my cup down so coffee went all over the counter and floor. Then I forgot I was out of creamer, so even when I made the second cup I haven’t been able to drink it.”
“Is that why you have two different shoes on as well?”
I look down at my feet and curse under my breath. The colors match, but one sandal has three straps and the other only has two. I groan again, burying my face in my hands. “I need you, Angela. I need advice or encouragement or…is it too early to drink?”
“Definitely too early for alcohol, not to mention we’re working and I’m your boss so maybe keep that little piece of information to yourself. This struggle doesn’t have anything to do with a certain ex-husband who was at your place for dinner, does it?”
“How…how did you know?”
“Oh, please, Blair. This is Strawberry. You grew up here, lady. You know everybody already knows your damn business. One of your neighbors told one of the ladies my mom meets for coffee in the morning and she sent me a text a half-hour ago asking what was going on with the two of you.”
“Ugh!” I cry out. “I swear I fucking hate this town.”
“Now we both know that isn’t the truth. Let’s talk about Cody though. He was at your place last night?”
“Not in the way that you’re thinking, Ang. Hayes wanted to invite him over for dinner and I wasn’t going to say no. I know it has only been two weeks, but he’s been stepping up. He even made sure he got back in time to work out with Hayes and Harrison.”
“I heard. Harrison said he was flying all night and drove back from the airport in the early morning just to be there.”
“He did. Hayes wouldn’t have blamed him for missing it, he knows that his job can be a bit unpredictable at times. He didn’t postpone or cancel though, he made it work.”
“You seem surprised.”
“I am surprised.” I pause and think for a moment. “This is strange. Maybe strange isn’t the right word, just different.”
“Uh-huh,” Angela replies, “Different good?” She asks with a question in her voice.
I nod, “So far it feels different good. Not to get too excited or anything, it has only been two weeks, you know?”
“I think you have a really good reason to be apprehensive. Have the two of you talked about what him being back means?”
“The idea of that conversation throws me off balance,” I admit. “Hayes is practically an adult, not a kid any longer. Why did he wait for long to make this much of an effort?”
“Only one person can answer that for you. What is really going on though, Blair? There is no way you’re this out of whack over just this.”
“I hate that you can read me so well.”
“Like a book,” she giggles. “Come on, Ms. Blair, tell Mama Angela what’s the matter.” I reach on her desk and grab a pen, tossing it in her direction. She dodges it with a squeal, but I still feel a little better. “Violence is never the answer. If you keep that up, you can’t be my maid of honor.”
“I’m your only friend, Ang. Who else are you going to pick?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugs, “I could ask my mom or even Chaz.”
“Ha!” I bark out a laugh, “Please let me be there when you ask your brother to be your maid of honor.”
“Girl, at this point I’m going to be lucky if he even makes it to the wedding. Kayla wants to go on a cruise for Labor Day weekend and she told Chaz that she’s going to be ‘too tired’ to travel the following weekend too.”
“What the fuck?” I exclaim. “Please tell me that your brother put her dumbass into check. You’re not just his sister, you’re his only sibling.”
“He just said they’d need to talk about it, but he told me not to worry.” She sighs and I can see her shoulders slump a bit, “I was going to ask him to walk me down the aisle, but now I feel like if I do that, she’s going to claim I’m just doing it to manipulate him into coming. God, Blair, I have tried so hard to get along with Kayla. I do not understand where things with her went wrong.”
“I bet she’s jealous.”
This time it is Angela who barks out a laugh, “What in the world does she have to be jealous of? I’m not trying to date my brother, geez.”
“Of course not, but Chaz frequently drops everything for his little sister. You told me that when you and Leon were going through your divorce that Chaz was the one that was there for you every step of the way. He made all those visits here to help you with remodeling the inn, do I need to keep going?”
“That would be so stupid if she felt jealous because he was supportive of his family.”
“I agree, but bitches be crazy.”
We both giggle and even though Angela is wiping some stray tears from her eyes, I know that she’s going to be okay. I also know that there is no way Chaz would ever miss his little sister's wedding, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand her worry. I may not have a sibling, but if I did I would never let a relationship get in the way of attending their wedding.
“Okay, okay, so now that you distracted me with my own issues I’m going to quit yapping so we can go back to your messed up life.”
“Oh…joy.” I take a deep breath and then just put it out there. “Cody tried to kiss me.”
“What?!” She screams. “And what did you do?”
“I…uh…,” I looked down at my hands, twiddling them in my lap, “Kind of leaned in to kiss him back.”
“BLAIR BISHOP! Are you? Does this mean? Holy crap!” She can barely finish a sentence and I’m worried I may have broken her. The news was enough to break me, that’s why I wasn’t able to sleep much last night.
“I don’t know what it means, Angela. God, I don’t know.”
“Who pulled back? Who stopped the kiss? Oh my God, I need to know everything!”
“Stop, I’m picnicking enough, I don’t need you to as well.”
“Okay, I’ll try to calm down. I’m just trying to gauge if you want me to be happy for you, encourage you, or slap some sense into you.”
I sigh and slump back once again, “I don’t know, Ang. God, I’m such a mess. For a moment, before my neighbor opened their door, I was in my early 20s and with the love of my life again. I forgot the pain and the sorrow that he brought me. It was Cody, the Cody that I loved.”
“Oh sweetheart, I can’t imagine how confusing that must be. I’m probably just making things even worse, but Harrison is a really good judge of character, and if he thinks Cody really has turned over a new leaf...I mean…do you think?
“Do I think what?”
“I know I don’t know him well and I am aware of everything that happened, but maybe, just maybe, Cody has changed and he wants to make up for his mistakes and not just the ones he made with Hayes.”
Angela’s statement doesn’t help the aching in my chest at all. I think he’s made it very clear that Hayes isn’t the only one he is looking to gain forgiveness from. Two weeks ago I would have told him to go to hell, there was no chance I’d ever want more to do with him than just Hayes’s dad. Everything changed last night though. For a moment I remembered what it felt like to be in love and loved. And now I was a complete mess.