Three years locked away was more than enough time for me to see how deranged I was. I hurt a lot of people including myself, and somehow everyone can forgive me, but I can't look at myself in the mirror. I don't know why Jerome is always here. Some days I wished he'd leave me like David often did because I always assumed I'd turn into David and Jerome would become me, cowering in fear of my closed fist. I'll never be him, especially not after what it took to win him back – thanks to Kacey's persuasion and my love letters. I'll gladly leave before I crush the purity out of my boyfriend's eyes, and I'll run away before I scare Stevie or Vera again. They're better, also, which I'm glad about. High school's growing on them from what I read in letters and heard in telephone calls, and Mom's seeing a shrink too. I hope things stay like this. This tiny shred of normalcy. |April 1983|
***
Though she never had Darlington University shut down or the dean replaced, having a new school near the beach with her friends was enough.
The sense of security and better opportunities were sometimes more than they could handle, but they reminded each other of what it took to get there.
Kacey may not be half as successful an oil tycoon as her dad, but she knows her youth provides her with new, better ideas.
La'Shawna may never be the president or mayor, but she never cared because leading her group for all those years was enough - at least until she's forty, she says.
Veronica might be imprisoned for marijuana possession at the rate she pushes herself to compete with her cousin in California, but her stubbornness is as strong as her plants.
Jennifer and Juniper may never heal from the pain they suffered - sometimes they long for their old life in Ireland - but since she was released from Red Cave and Jenny started taking medication, they've looked out for each other more than before.
Then there's Judith - currently struggling to ride a bike.
"Judy, you have to pedal or we'll both fall," Jerome orders her, his legs growing sore as he maneuvers down the road.
His dreads are longer, reaching just below his shoulders in fresh twists done by her. He's wearing his grey university sweatshirt and she's wearing her navy blue, Morehead one.
"I'm trying," she yells back, panic laced in her voice as her clogs slip off their placement and occasionally pin her feet under the pedals.
Her dark, crimped hair is in a half up half down style, flowing against the summer breeze but held in place by a grey scrunchie. They're cruising downtown on an autumn orange tandem bike, catching the eye of a few civilians lounging around nearby shops.
"Okay. Okay, stop!" Her kicking feet come to a halt, and he mashes the brakes under his meaty middle fingers. Gently, he pedals backward, and the two-person vehicle slows in the middle of the road. He veers against the curb, stopping at the bike stand they rented it from.
"I'm sorry," she tells him in a meek voice, lowering her head. He's taking deep breaths, exhausted from the workout and when he hears her, he aims his red, sweaty face over his shoulder. "I'm really trying to learn, but -"
"Babe, don't sweat it." Judith looks at him over the top of her hexagon glasses. "This is just the second time. It took me like five tries to get it and I taught myself."
"Really?" He nods and she sighs, gazing at the back of his uniform. "Maybe it would be easier if I wore something else."
"I told you not to wear those shoes and it's definitely too hot for jeans." He stands up, swinging his leg across the bike and stopping on the pavement.
"Oh, please, you're wearing that thick ass shirt and those." She glances at his sweatpants, and he follows her gaze, smirking at her. He extends his hand to her, and she sits her palm on his. "I'm surprised you haven't had a heatstroke yet."
"I'm not gonna lie, I'm on the verge of passing out. After we give this back, let's head to McDonald's and get some water." She chuckles dryly. He lifts her off the bike and wraps his arm under her neckline. Mary strolls toward them with a brown-toned baby on her hip.
She's wearing dark shades that match her corduroy dress and black turtleneck, and her long hair is in a French braid. Judith glances at them, having to look twice before rolling her eyes.
Jesus H, this town is huge yet I'm constantly running into this bozo? Maybe I should move to Morehead.
"Well, look what the cat dragged in," Judith monotonously says before glancing at Jerome. His expression softens as he silently coos over her child; he always adored babies. She stops in front of them.
"And what the cat threw up," Mary remarks. Judith narrows her eyes at her comment before rolling them. As she folds her arms, Mary looks at Jerome. "Big 'Rome. I haven't seen you since..."
"Yeah, I know. It was a crazy year." He takes a deep breath, glancing at his girlfriend at his side.
"So," Mary drones, shifting her weight onto the other foot. "Uh, how are things?"
"Fine. We're enjoying the day." Judy turns her head to gaze at the pale blue sky and white clouds. "Well, what's left of it, at least."
"How's David?" Judith pulls her lips into a straight line, tiny dimples appearing on her cheeks. She drags her wide eyes to her spouse, shooting daggers at him as Mary clears her throat, staring at the pavement between them.
"He's, uh, still in the big house," she reminds him, chuckling dryly at the blunt question. She lifts her chin and watches Jerome nod, his eyes glazing over.
She and Judith look at each other for a moment, recalling the brief times they shared involving the parties Judy would carry her out of. Judith sees flashes of them in court; Mary pregnant and her incessant crocodile tears almost fooling the jury into sympathizing with him, Kacey dressed in palazzo pants and a blouse between her team of lawyers, and David smiling at Judy to intimidate her whenever they made eye contact.
"So, um, this is Carly," she asks Mary while staring at the infant in a caramel brown romper. Its mess of black ringlets falls to its shoulders, a few tucked behind the left ear.
"Charlie," she corrects her with her usually stern tone, not breaking eye contact until Judith glances at Jerome. "I named him after my grandfather. He died during the Pearl Harbor bombing; a true American war hero."
Charlie's deep brown eyes flicker onto Judy's as she looks forward. She gazes into his irises, examining the little specs of moss green David used to have when they were seventeen. His full lashes, vaguely reminiscent of baby spider legs, and his almond-shaped eyes are all David's.
"Well, it was nice seeing you," Jerome says, forcing a closed-lip grin as he tightens his fingers around Judy. He and Mary avert their attention to Judy. "We should get going. After our drink, I gotta stop by the house to see Xavius."
"You're still living with your mom?" Mary raises her brows, the corners of her pink lips raised. He glances at her pearly whites, then into her blue eyes. "Jesus H, Big 'Rome. I figured with the money, you and your boys would've moved on your own."
"For someone who's a single parent, you sure talk a lot of shit," Judy interrupts him before he can defend himself. They look at her and as Charlie lifts his thumb in his mouth, he rests his head on his mother's shoulder.
"Single?" A mocking smile casts across her face as she darts her eyes between the pair. "Honey, I'm not single at all. He may be a jailbird for now, but he's still in our life. What's the matter, Jude? You jealous?"
"Jealous of a bitch with my leftovers?" Mary lowers he chin and menacingly stares at her over the top of her shades, her mouth curled into a smirk. As Judy scans her up and down, her face twists and wrinkles with disgust. "I could laugh if I didn't feel sorry for you."
"Okay, that's enough. Mary, have a nice day." He forces a grin, and she does the same, creasing her face before they both dart their eyes to Judith. "Judy, let's go. I'm dying out here."
"Well, well, well," Manuel shouts from his moss green Impala, his left hand on the wheel and his right arm between him and the woman beside him. They look into the road and lock eyes with him. "If it isn't Moose and Goose."
Fuck this guy.
Judith rolls her eyes onto Khalíd behind the driver's seat, and she narrows them.
"I'll see you two around." Mary strolls past them, pecking her son on his forehead.
Jerome walks with Judith into the street and they stop at the passenger door. Quién Será is humming on the radio.
"I thought you two were in Morehead." Jerome shakes his head, flashing his top row of teeth with a small gap between the first two.
"She's heading back there tomorrow but I'm not in school anymore. After graduation, I got my place in Timmonsville and I've been made in the shade since," he explains before glancing at the raven-haired lady in the passenger seat. Her dark brown eyes are trained on the windshield, refusing to look at them. Jerome turns to Khalíd. "So, what's the skinny with you?"
"Oh, nothing much. I mean I've been cruising with the boys, y'know." Jerome peeks out of his peripheral and watches Manny roll his eyes. "I quit my job at Butterball after our checks from that tournament came in the mail, got a car, a fresh pad - I'm living the dream."
"Yeah, where's your car and place?" Khalíd clears his throat and inhales. Before he can answer, he's interrupted.
"Gone with the broad he got with. He stupidly drove this puta to the Darlington courthouse, got hitched, then divorced not even two months later. She took his shit, 'Rome." Jerome and Khalíd lock eyes before the latter shifts his to Manuel's reflection.
"I thought I asked you to be cool. That doesn't mean air out my dirty laundry," he raises his voice, and it cracks. "Man, just take me to my mom's."
"Whatever. Hey, you two need a ride, 'Rome?" The unnamed woman whips her head to him, her eyes wide. Khalíd leans against his door while staring at the headrest in front of him, sulking over his social humiliation.
"Mi amor, acepté cabalgar contigo, pensando que seríamos solo nosotros." Jerome exhales through his nose after she speaks
"Seremos solo nosotros después de que los deje," Manuel assures her. He's wearing a white tank top and khakis, a style identical to hers.
"Mentiroso," she says under her breath as she folds her arms. Judith squints her eyes as she attempts to translate what they're saying.
"¿Cómo me llamarías?" Manny furrows his eyebrows, and he scans her from her beehive to her seething expression. "Rosario, con gusto te llevaré de vuelta a Sumter. No olvides quién te está cuidando."
"Sí," she says without looking at him. Khalíd glances at Judith when he remembers that she speaks Spanish and she looks at him, shrugging her shoulders. He nods before looking at the Chicano couple. "Miguel."
He doesn't respond to her attempt at vexing him. Instead of speaking, he narrows his eyes at her in thought before redirecting his attention to Judy and Jerome.
When Judith lifts her gaze, she notices David standing at a dress shop with a cacao-skinned woman in a burgundy, flare dress. She looks like a black pin-up model with her slender frame, innocent face, and under-curled hair.
Am I going insane?
"Look, we'll catch y'all later." Everyone but Judith looks at Jerome when he finally speaks. "My girl and I wanted to cycle around town before we head home, so -"
He drones and the woman sighs with relief. Manuel nods and says, "Alright. Well, be safe, man."
"You too. Tell Eric and Kacey we said Hey." After winning the case against David, Eric saw her, and with enough conversations, they hit it off. His passion for shoe design was off-putting at first, but to her, it was a breath of fresh air to meet someone not interested in what they can get from her besides her love.
"Oh, and Judy?" She looks at Manuel. "I've been meaning to apologize for how I was last year. I don't got any problems with you and I'm sorry for picking at you; also, I'm sorry for your loss."
"Thank you," she hesitates because she'd completely forgotten Jerome vowed to get her an apology. As for the deaths in her family, she knows the news reached him through private discussions like every other topic. "And I'm sorry for calling you a -"
She cuts herself off; the thought of repeating the slur turns her stomach, and he notices her look of discomfort.
"Don't sweat it. I'll be seeing you," he tells her with a faint smile. When she gives him a southern nod, he returns the gesture. Jerome watches him drive away, leaving a gap between the back of his Impala and the incoming yellow Beatle.
"J," she calls for him and he looks down at her. The color on her face has drained and he notices she appears pale. "Is that - David?"
He follows her gaze to the boutique and squints his eyes through his hexagon glasses' thick lenses.
"Okay, um," he pauses, taking a deep breath as he relaxes his scrunched face. "Yeah, but let's return this bike, so we can head home."
So, he's not in jail. I know Kacey did everything she could to have him arrested but what the fuck? So, Mary was lying for him?
"Judy?" After a Monte Carlo passes them, she speed walks across the street without taking her eyes off David. Jerome's eyes widen. "Judy!"
"Hey, David!" Jerome flickers his attention from left to right, checking for cars before sprinting after her. David and the woman turn to her, their smiles fading.
"Jude?" He glances at his acquaintance, then at his ex-girlfriend as she stops on the sidewalk. "Um, Donna, this is Judith. She and I used to date - maybe four, five years ago."
"Yeah, this was before he fucked my best friend," Judy adds, smiling at the confused woman next to him. Jerome stops beside her, then leans forward with his hands on his knees, gasping and wheezing.
"For the fourth time, she wasn't your friend," he argues. "She didn't and still doesn't like you."
"Oh, so you've talked to her? I only ask because I spoke to her a while ago and she's acting like you're still in jail." Donna switches her weight onto her other kitten heel, wrapping her arms around her frame and lowering her gaze.
David rolls his eyes and asks, "What the fuck do you want from me?"
What do I want?
She glances at his shoes, scanning up his slender body hidden under suede shoes, jeans, and an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt.
"Judy - let's go," Jerome says, struggling to control his breathing. They look at each other and she notices his face turning red. As Judith returns to David, Jerome whispers, "Please."
"I don't want anything from you but an apology." Jerome shuts his eyes and bows his head, sweat trickling off the tip of his nose and the middle of his forehead.
"An apology," David repeats with an incredulous grin and tone. "Don't make me laugh. Get on, like bigfoot here said."
She envisions the night he walked her down the catwalk at their country club's debutante ball when they were sixteen. They took a trip to New York with the other socialites in their region and spent as much time together as their strict parents allowed. He was scrawnier then, but his haircut remained the same. His venomous side never reared its ugly head until they were eighteen and she always wondered why.
"I'm not going anywhere until you apologize. Kacey said you never did in court, and you didn't when I went to visit you. After all those years of -" David's eyes grow wide and he blinks three times, signaling for her to stop talking, but she doesn't heed his warning. "You hurt me. You broke me down so much that I struggled to accept that it wasn't my fault, and you know what? I love myself and my body!"
"Judy," David attempts to interrupt her when Donna scowls at him. Hot tears burn Judith's eyes as she recalls everything he did to her, and she feels a sharp pain in her chest as well as anger coursing through her veins. A deadly combination that fuels her rant.
"You raped me," she screams and grasps the attention of a few bystanders. Donna flinches. "You said you didn't want a kid, so I scheduled for an abortion, then lost the baby the night before my appointment. That fucked with me, David! Then you had a kid by the very bitch who I called my friend -"
"She wasn't your friend," he corrects her under his breath and Jerome shoots him a dark look. He never knew about her miscarriage until that moment, so he refuses to silence her or allow anyone else to.
"Burn in hell." Judith swallows, then licks her lips. David tucks his hands into his back pockets, staring blankly at the sky without lifting his chin. "Mary's walking around with your son and here you are flirting with - whoever this is."
"Again, my name's Donna and he wasn't hitting on me," she finally speaks and Judith blinks back when she hears how sweet and thick her southern accent is. She glares at David and says, "In fact, I was digging him but after what I learned from you, I'll pass."
"Wait, what?" David furrows his brows. She bids Judith goodbye, wishing her all the best before walking into the store with their eyes following her. He whips around to face his ex and her boyfriend, removing his hands from his pockets.
"Looks like you'll have to use what little bit of your good looks and charms to woo your next victim. I'd hurry though, you're uglier during the summertime." When she finishes taunting him, the left corner of her mouth raises, and tears slip between her lips.
David looks at Jerome, noticing the exhaustion in his sweaty face and sunken eyes. He returns to Judy and without another moment to think, he fires the back of his hand to her left cheek.
She gasps and takes her reddening, stinging flesh in her trembling fingers. She suddenly recalls the pain she felt when he would hit her.
Before she can respond, Jerome sends his fist into David's face, crushing his mouth.
He repeats the gesture two more times, swatting David's hands when he attempts to shield his face. David falls onto his back, staring wide-eyed with blood pooling in his philtrum and down his burst lip.
"Some people never change." Judith shakes her head, her fingertips held to her stinging cheek. Jerome takes a deep breath, glaring at David one last time before looking at Judith.
"Judy," Jerome calls her with a higher tone than before, pulling her out of her daydream.
She blinks once, then as she turns her head to him, she blinks twice more. They're standing on the curb, facing the road of passing vehicles.
"I'm sorry," Judith says, swallowing her nerves over the lump in her throat. She feels her stomach tighten and flutter, and her eyes refuse to remain on his. "Um, what were we talking about?"
She shakes her head with a jittery motion, goosebumps raising her body hair.
"I was saying that that's David but maybe we should just leave." She returns her attention across the street where David is standing with the unknown woman.
She watches their lips curl into smiles and the infatuation in their eyes growing with each passing moment. Judith veers her body to face her boyfriend and wraps her arms around his torso.
"What's wrong?" He slowly raises his hands behind her as he waits for an answer, and when she merely nestles into his pillowy chest, he rests his chin against the top of her head. Tears cloud her vision and when she blinks, they trickle down her cheeks.
"I feel like such a fool for falling in love with him." She chokes over her words before succumbing to the sadness aching her heart. He tightens his arms around her fragile frame, caressing her upper arm and huffing a sigh.
His voice softens as he says, "It's okay." He takes another breath, his rapidly pounding heart pulsating against her temple. "You're – not foolish. Maybe it's too soon to say but – I used to resent you for choosing him, but I think I get it. Being with you hasn't always been easy."
Judith leans her head back to aim her playfully narrowed eyes at him and with a sniffle, she says, "I don't know if I like where this is going."
"No." He bows his head, chuckling at her remark. They meet each other's gaze for three seconds before she returns her cheek to his chest and he explains himself, "I didn't mean anything – rude by it. I guess I'm just – glad I met you."
"Me too. I'm glad I met you too." He cracks a wry smile and presses his lips to her scalp, allowing the scent of pineapple and Blue Magic grease to waft into his nose. "I'm sorry for making you stand out here."
She straightens her posture as her arms begin to retract. She reconsiders breaking the embrace when she doesn't feel him budge.
"Please, I'll gladly stand out here and bake for hours as long as it means — let me start over." She cracks a smile, her eyes bouncing between his as he takes a deep breath. "I'd rather turn darker than ignore you when you're sad."
"Really?" She flashes her top row of pearly whites, her irises practically gleaming.
"Yes and no. I'll wait for a bit," he begins while removing one arm. "But if you're still upset, we'll just have to go to a place like Druther's or something."
"I love you," she tells him with a chuckle, and he guides her toward the vendor renting bikes. He returns the expression of admiration, leans closer to her tear-stained face, then plants a short and sweet kiss on her lips.
The End