"Power is not given to you. You have to take it."- Beyoncé Knowles
Beyoncé POV
Two days later...
"Kelly pull to the back—I don't want the kids to see me."
Kelly annoyingly sighed making a quick turn behind my Bel Air mansion. Before I could reach for the handle Kelly locked the doors.
I sucked in a breath trying to remain as calm as possible. "Kelendria Trené--- I am tired, I am frustrated, I just want to take a shower and spend some time with my kids. Can you please open the damn door!"
"NO BEYONCÉ! I haven't seen nor heard from you in a year! And you call me today out the blue to pick you up from the LAPD's office! I want answers, and you're not getting out this car until you start talking!"
"Kelly..." I warned. "Thank you for being there for me... But I will bust these windows to get out this damn car!"
"Try it Giselle! I been had my eye on your red mustang!"
I frustratingly ran my hand down my face, I was not into this shit. I've been sitting in an interrogating room for 48 fucking hours. I swear to God if it was not one thing it was the next.
Between this pandemic hitting my hospitals left and right, Robyn refusing to sign divorce papers and Ciara trying to take full custody of Blue—I felt like everything was closing in one me.
I sighed scraping the chipped up red polish on my finger's nails.
"I fucked up Kellz...I may lose everything this time..."
"What do you mean B?"
I sighed again. "Lance..."
"Isn't that the guy who---Wait I'm confused didn't he get kill in some drug deal gone bad?"
"He did..."
"I'm not following, what does that have to do with you?"
I looked into Kelly's eyes, when she blinked a tear escaped her eyelids.
"Beyoncé no..."
"I fucked up...I just went over there to scare him- I- I didn't think it was going to get that far."
"B...I knew you were capable of some shit but never this. What made you do it."
I squeezed my eyes close trying to clear my mind of the gruesome scenes flashing through my memory.
"Him explaining he fucked her... I snapped-- and it caused me to snap on her..."
"She ain't did that shit B..."
"And how the fuck you know that?" I snapped.
"Because I know her and she's not like that. And if you really loved her and cared for her like you be claiming, you would know that too. Obviously, he said that shit to bait you and you took it like a dumbass!"
The car fell silent for a few minutes before Kelly spoke up again.
"How do you know Robyn is not behind this shit? I'm sure she knows you killed her boy toy."
"Kelly, I don't know... But I ain't said shit to incriminate myself—all they said is that they got somebody placing my at the scene."
"Well did you see anybody?"
"Kelly if I had seen somebody, I wasn't going up in there with a gun in the first place...I'm not that stupid."
"I'm just making sure cause ya'll Virgo's a little slow."
I kissed my teeth. "Kelly unlock this damn door before I break it."
"Wait before you go...When can we catch up B? I haven't talked to you in forever and Titan's been asking for his auntie."
"I send Titan gifts, lots of gifts..."
"B...It's not the same."
I sighed. "I know—I'm free Monday after court we can get dinner?"
"Alright—don't bail on me B."
"Man whatever- unlock this door PLEASE!"
As quick as those locks switched—was as quick I was out Kelly's car. I used a code to enter the back the door. As soon as I walked inside, I could hear the twins in the living room singing along to something on the television. As much as I wanted to see my babies, I needed to take a shower and tame my hair.
I disappeared into one of the rooms in the guesthouse heading straight to the shower. I stripped out of everything, placing my dead cellphone on the counter. I stepped in the shower adjusting the temperature, allowing the hot water to seep into my skin.
I felt dirty---but this feeling I could not wash away. My soul was overloaded with guilt, not from Cardi, not from Lance but from Onika. The only woman whoever loved me despite my fucked-up ways. But this time I took it to far, I allowed my jealousy and anger to take me to a place I did not want to go back too.
Did I know that deep down inside she didn't fuck that nigga? —yes.
Did I still beat her ass? —yes.
Because even the thought of anyone touching her aside from me made me snap because she knew better. She knew I was crazy about her; she knew she had that hold on me—then she embarrassed me like that.
I did give myself wrong for not mentioning the fact that I have kids. But no one I fucked with knew that. My kids are my world and protecting them at all costs was my number one priority. I knew I had some good dick along with commitment issues—that alone would make a bitch do some crazy shit.
Don't get me wrong I wanted to tell Onika's about the three major pieces of my heart, but I had to earn her trust first. Onika was young, immature and thinks sporadically—I knew she would never harm my kids, but I had to trust her first.
It was never my intention to fall in love with her, from the first day I landed eyes on her I knew she would be a fun fuck and that was it. But then the tables flipped, I could not get her off my mind. She would invade my thoughts in the middle of my operations, meetings, or any time of day for that matter. At first, I thought I was pussy whipped, so I started messing around with other women and Cardi even heavier.
But none of them could fill the void that Onika could —it was something about that was so infectious to me. I could not tell if it was her spicy attitude, her beauty or brains but she was definelty the full package—and I did not want her to know that. But then he came along and started to show her that, then something in her changed. She became more aware of herself and started calling me out on things—threatening to leave me. And I couldn't let that happened, I had fallen for her—and I had fallen hard.
Losing Onika was not an option—hence her first pregnancy. But yet again she still kept in contact with that clown ass nigga after I told her not too. So, he got dealt with- temporarily at the time at least. Even after I went away to seek help—I still couldn't stay away from her. A week later I was back in New York following her around. For one she was carrying my child—and talking crazy about making harsh decisions about the pregnancy. Then one night I watched him pick her up with roses in hand, I followed them both to his place. My heart ache watching them interact—my heart broke even more watching him kiss her—watching his hands fondle around her waist—watching him rub on her stomach like a proud dad as she slept the entire night in his arms. I could have killed him that night... I could have killed them both—but she was carrying my child. Then it occurred to me—I was losing myself, was I really going to put myself in a predicament to lose my kids, my license, my life over a woman who claimed she loved me?
I had to step away—I had to get help if not for me, for my children. When I got the call that Onika was having a possible miscarriage I was already in New York. To this day that was one of the saddest days of my life. I stood outside the preop room listening to her crying to Lauren. As much as I wanted to go in there and hug her—and promise that it was going to be okay I could not bring myself to do it. I had done that to her—and I was being a coward.
When I had reached out to her mother and she told me that Onika was found passed out in her place—I was in New Orleans in the middle of a meeting. I shut everything down to make my way back to her. I thought that staying away from her would be good for her, but then I realized she was doing worst. That's when I came to the conclusion that I had to admit my love to her—I had to admit my wrongdoings to her. When I revealed those feelings, it was easier for me to love her—easier for me to stay faithful to Onika and Onika only.
On the other hand, I was still running away from commitment due to the fact that I was still legally married to Robyn. I had already served Robyn with divorce papers a little bit before Michael's passing. Somehow, she happened to put two and two together and moved from Texas to New York with the twins. Between her and my father blackmailing me every second I felt compelled to sit down and tell Onika—but shit kept getting in the way. First it started with Michael's death, then the paternity of Cardi's child, then death threats to Onika, her apartment being trashed and finally almost losing Onika in the near fatal car crash. I immediately knew who was behind it all, Cardi was easy to be dealt with but Robyn could not be touched.
Fuck her being my wife—she was still the mother two my children. No matter how fucked up of a person she was, she was a damn good mother. Ripping her away from the twins would hurt them, and I could not put my babies through that. Not only did my last name give her protection, but her father was our main gun supplier. If I had gotten trigger happy—it would have been too obvious. Deep down inside I knew her father always knew I never loved Robyn; it was all good business. I laid hands on Robyn because she stole money from me, it was never about love. Robyn was a good fuck—buying Chanel bags here and there to keep happy was nothing major. But then she got greedy she knew I had money, but she knew my father had more. So, she fucked Matthew, I had no problem with her fucking my dad—I needed to get rid of her anyway.
But then the fight happened—again I lost control and I took full responsibility for it. Robyn did what anyone else would do, she went to the police. What I thought would be a slap on the wrist turned into a complete nightmare. I got tipped off that I was facing major charges, kidnapping under New York law alone carried a 15-year sentence. So, my team had to get dirty, which lead to Robyn being admitted to a psychiatric facility. I paid her family off to move away, while I sent Robyn to Texas. I thought it was over until Robyn subpoenaed me to court—wanting to carry out the charges again, but this time she was coming for every dime I had.
The only logical thing I could have done was marry her—and that was easiest part, because she wanted me to herself. We got married within two days, it was a quick private wedding held in my condo. Once we were legally bonded by paper under New York city law, the spousal privilege precluded one spouse from testifying against the other in any criminal proceedings—hence the charges being dropped.
I moved back to Texas with Robyn—I kept her happy with the expensive cars, shopping sprees, and vacations. Anything she wanted—she had it including me. I made sure her family never had to worry about another bill in their life. I had even set her mom up in a nice mansion in Barbados—but Robyn still was not satisfied. She wanted the one thing I could not give her, which was love. Robyn looked at our marriage as the 'until death do us part', while I classified is as keeping my ass out of prison.
Did Robyn and I fuck? —of course.
I always used protection with her—but I was still careless. Leaving my used condoms in the trash brought me the two most beautiful additions to my life—but another 18 + years dealing with Robyn. Her desperation for me led her to begin seeing a fertility specialist, I later found out that she was indeed inseminating herself—hence the birth of our twins. We raised the twins together, then the opportunity to become chief of surgery came up in New York. At that point I filed for legal separation, Robyn was not having it. She refused to sign the papers and even show up to court.
Robyn put me through hell, refusing me the right to see my kids. Then my ex-wife moved my oldest daughter across the country all while I held down the most stressful job of being chief of surgery. It was no secret I was fucking with residents around the hospital, when I met Cardi what was supposed to be casual fucking—sprung into her acting just like Robyn. It was like I was a magnet for crazy ass women.
But then I met Onika— gorgeous, intellectual, feisty, arduous everything that I ever desired wrapped in one. I could not tell if it was her innocence or beauty that attracted me to her. But she brought out something in me—she had a hold on me. And knowing that I was her first, bonded me to her spirit. But I could not bring myself to commit to her, I was scared that I would not be enough for her. But my witlessness along with my possessiveness led me to hurting her in the most callous way possible. These two years without her have been the most heart wrenching days of my life. At first, I had my team searching for her around the clock. I even went as far as paying private agents to find her—but everything came up as dead ends.
I had to come to the realization that I lost her and that was my pill to swallow. I caused this on myself—nobody but me. I could only hope that sometime in the future she would allow me to apologize. I just wanted to make it right with her—if she chooses not to, I will entirely respect her decision.
I stepped out of the shower wrapping the towel around me. I stood in the mirror combing through my wet hair, placing it in a high bun.
A few seconds a loud bang cascaded through the door, causing the hinges to fly off.
'Here we fucking go...' I thought watching Robyn angrily storm into the bathroom.
"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU BEYONCÉ! YOU GOT ME STUCK IN THIS HOUSE WITH THE KIDS AND YA' ASS OUT THEIR CHEATING ON ME AGAIN!"
I ignored Robyn's antics pushing past her to make my way to the main house. She was right on my ass calling me everything but a child of God. When I reached the room, I was staying in I felt something hit the back of my skull. When I turned around Robyn was holding a broken trophy in her hand. I felt around my scalp to see if I was bleeding—which I was not. I sucked in my breath trying to consume the rage building up inside of me. I made a promise that I was going to keep my hands to myself a year ago—and so far, I've been doing a good job. But oh God I missed the days of body slamming Robyn when she did shit like this.
I ignored her as I maneuvered around my dresser pulling out clothes to carry out my day. Something in my spirit told me to duck when I heard Robyn move behind me, within seconds the rest of the broken trophy shattered the mirror in front of me. I could hear the kids screaming downstairs.
"SO, YOU NOT GOING TO FUCKING SPEAK! YOU DISSAPEAR FOR TWO DAYS AND THE FIRST THING YOU COME AND DO IS WASH YOUR DICK! YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOUR KIDS!" Robyn kept going.
I stepped in the closet quickly getting into some Ivy park gear, as I continued to ignore her. As soon as I stepped out of the closet, she was on my ass again. If I was not a hoe, I was bitch, If I wasn't a bitch, I was a worthless piece of shit. And it went on and on until we reached the kids playroom. Robyn knew better than to show her ass in front of them, as bad as she wanted to finish cussing me out, she stood their mute.
Immediately my babies ran up to me, I bent down accepting the kisses they rained all over my face.
"Mommyyy." Rumi beamed trying to jump in my arms, but Sir pushed her out the way. He was very overprotective of me, he did not like Rumi nor Blue having my attention for too long.
I gave him a sweet but warning look before pulling him into a warm hug. Sir was an absolute replica of me, he was sweet, short tempered and lacked patience. We were working on those characteristics slowly but surely.
"You guys wanna go see grandma today?"
They jumped up and down by just hearing the mention of their grandmother. I maneuvered around Robyn to the twin's bedrooms, packing an overnight bag. I was not going to stay under the same roof as Robyn tonight. When she got like this it was only a matter of time before LAPD would be at our doorstep. Hence the reason why we have no glassware left in the kitchen cabinets, everything she broke.
Robyn appeared at the door with dramatic forced tears in her eyes. "Beyoncé... You're not taking my kids until you talk to me."
I threw the duffle bag over my shoulder looking down at Robyn. "You want to talk like an adult now?"
"B don't fucking start that shit! I knew you were out here cheating on me!"
"No, I'm about to finish it—Robyn you're too hostile right now, let me take my kids and allow you to cool off."
"NO!" She screamed, within seconds the twin's footsteps came hauling down the hall.
"Robyn I was not asking for your permission."
The twins appeared at the door sensing something was wrong. Robyn quickly turned her back toward them- not wanting them to see her fake tears.
"Come on guys, let's go have lunch with grandma." I said grabbing their hands.
"Can mommy come too?" Rumi inquired.
"No, mommy's going to be busy. We'll see mommy tomorrow." I said leading them to the front door. Rumi looked disappointed but Sir on the other hand was hauling ass to the front door. Sometimes I felt like he didn't really care for Robyn—and she knew it too.
I had finished getting Sir strapped in his car seat. In the midst of me adjusting Rumi's seat belt I felt Robyn snake her arms around my waist. I rolled my eyes in frustration as I continued to get Rumi comfortable. I took her tablet and turned it onto cocomelon.
When I turned around Robyn was shoved a target bag in my hand.
"Beyonce I'm sorry...My emotions have been all over the place, I hate when it comes to this between us. I'm sorry for putting my hands on you, I'm sorry for always making our home a hostile environment.... B I just... I love you so much—and I just want our marriage to work."
I sighed looking down at Robyn. "Just sign the papers Robyn...I'm done with this."
Her tears immediately stopped and hazel eyes turned dark. "Bitch you ain't done with shit. And you never gone be done with me because I'm pregnant."
I had to stifle my laugh as I pulled the drivers door open. "Rihanna, I snipped my shit two years ago. So, on the rare occasions that we do have sex, I've been shooting blanks. Sign the fucking divorce papers and go lay-up with that child's father."
I could visibly see the color draining from her skin. She knew better, I slipped up with her one time but never again. Now the ball was definelty in my court. I knew she was sleeping around—not that I cared. Having sex with Robyn was convenient, for one we were legally married, two she was already crazy and three it just would shut her the fuck up sometimes.
As soon as I got in the car, I locked the doors throwing the target bag in the passenger seat. Immediately the content of the bag spilled across the seat. They were all positive pregnancy tests. I shook my head, not entirely surprised of Robyn's antics.
I plugged my dead phone into the charger before backing out of the garage. When I was halfway to my mom's house my phone turned on. Notification began ringing off like no tomorrow. I felt stressed even thinking about checking them. Right now, I just wanted to spend time with my kids and relax.
When I pulled up to my mom's house, I was not surprised to see Solo's car there, but the other car surprised me. What the hell was Matthew doing here?
I helped the twins out their car seats grabbing our bags, I used my key to let myself in. When I walked in my eyes landed on Normani first. The twins immediately ran up to her screaming her name. I didn't like the bitch still—but the kids adored her.
"Do I hear my grandbabies?" My mom sang coming through the corridor. She walked straight pass me to get to them.
"Giselle your father needs to speak to you right away." Was all she said.
I sighed placing the twin's bag down, slowly walking into the living room. Matthew sat across from my stepdad laughing at some joke.
When I came into his view, he looked surprised.
"My demon child has arrived...Step outside so we can talk Giselle."
I rolled my eyes walking toward the sliding door leading to the pool deck. A few seconds later Matthew came.
He looked around before his angry eyes landed on me.
"How the fuck you got yourself involved in some murder case again?"
Before I could even speak his hand rose to shut me up. "I don't want to hear it."
I never understood why parents did that.
"You fucked up—and now I'm going to have to get your ass out this shit again. But it's going to cost you."
This nigga...
"How much?"
"How fast can you wire 4 million? You're basically a billionaire right—that shit won't hurt."
I wanted to slap the fuck out of him right now, but I was at his mercy.
"I can get it to you by tomorrow at 4pm."
Matthew patted my back so hard, I almost gasped for air. "Good girl...Now I got good news.
"What's that?" I asked.
"I found us a new supplier; I'll be flying to Haiti first thing come tomorrow morning. If all goes well— you'll have no issue getting away from your little problem, her father won't be our main supplier anymore."
I felt at least one burden being lifted of my chest, but I knew Robyn was not going down without a fight.
"A thanks dad would helpful." Matthew snarled.
I kissed my teeth. "Thanks Matthew... What are you doing over here anyway? Talking to Richard?"
"Well actually I came straight from Miami looking for Solo. She called me wanting some advice on something."
"Like what?" I pressed.
"She wants to propose to that chocolate gal in there. I guess she really likes her."
My eyes almost popped out head. "She wants to marry Normani? And she came to you for advice?"
"What's wrong with coming to me for martial advice—I was faithful man once you know. But that's beside the point I thought you would know by now of Solo's plans—your mom knows."
"Matthew, I do not fuck with Solo like that anymore—and I certainly do not like her girlfriend either."
"Giselle... It was two years ago—let it go."
"She pulled a gun on me! My little sister who I use to babysit, pick up from school, help her with her homework. Someone who I always confided in and many ways looked up too pulled a gun on me! And no one found an issue with that."
"I'm not giving her a pass Beyonce...All I'm saying is at the end of the day she is still blood. You both were basically best friends now you barely say two words to each other. Just be the bigger person and tell her how you feel. It's bothering your mother to see that you guys have come to this."
"Alright father of the year... I'll talk to her on my time."
Matthew gave me a quick smile. "That's all I needed to hear. The sooner you send my money the faster I handle this situation. I'll be in contact with you, let me go see my grandbabies before I leave." Matthew said walking around me.
I tried to Facetime Blue, but the call got declined. I knew it was Ciara's doing, since her husband was being drafted to the Denver Broncos, she had moved Blue across the country again. I never had a problem with her taking Blue hopping across the country all these years. But when my baby called me crying that she was stressed out from trying to adapt to new schools almost every quarter, I asked Ciara nicely if Blue would be able to live with me—for stability purposes. Ciara went off, telling me that I myself was unbalanced when it came to taking care of our daughter. She told me I was more focused on working than actually spending the time to get to know my daughter. Eventually she came to the conclusion that it would be best for her to take full custody of Blue and allow me to have her on holidays. That was absolutely unacceptable for me, our agreement was for me to have our child every other weekend. But that could not be accomplished if we are always on two opposite sides of the country. I had no problem fueling up my jet to bring my baby, I would fly to Denver myself to bring her back with me. But of course, Ciara found a problem with that too. I just could not win for losing.
I heard a lot of commotion coming from the living room, so I stepped inside. My mom was holding up a letter reading something off. Everyone's eyes landed on me, I started to become nervous. Praying this was not anymore bullshit.
My mom handed me to the letter that was addressed to me from the Harper Avery foundation, I had been nominated for six awards including, surgeon of the year.
"Oh wow..." Was all I could say in disbelief.
My mom started going on and on, preplanning the event. If only she knew I had more shit on my plate besides this damn award show. "We're going to go all out, I'm going to call Zerina to find you an exquisite dress, were going to have an afterparty downtown. I'm inviting all the distinguished surgeons. This will be a grand event!" My mom sang.
I sighed, handing her back the letter. Rumi ran up to me full speed with her dead tablet.
"Mommy can I have your phone?"
"Can you borrow my phone?" I reiterated.
"No- I wanna have it so I could watch cocomelon." My child demanded.
Before I handed my phone to Rumi, I placed it on DND. God knows she would decline every call that dared to interrupt her show.
I looked around for Sir, he was comfortably laying against my stepdad watching Spiderman.
I peeped in the kitchen where my mom was talking to Solo and Normani about something. Solo stopped talking and looked at me.
"Hey Juju..."
I cut my eyes toward my mom. "Mom I'm stepping out; I'll be back to tuck the kids in."
"Giselle... Your sister is talking to you."
"I'll be back in a few hours, please don't let Rumi manipulate you for cookies before dinner."
I grabbed my keys and got into my car, heading toward the Calabasas. I needed to vent and clear my head .And I could only find those two outlets in one unfortunate person.
Thirty minutes later I slowly pulled into her garage as soon as I turned the car off, the door leading to her kitchen swung open. She came down the steps still dressed in work clothes with her daughter on her tail.
"Good afternoon Dr. Knowles." She smiled.
"Good Afternoon Mrs.Cephus..." Cardi smiled opening the door wider to allow me in.