We get to the restaurants and it is fancy all right. 10 points for Aaron for picking a swanky place to impress Shiv.
Shiv looks amazing of course - she was tall and had a willow form. She was all limbs and a fall of dark sable hair. But it was my friend's energetic energy that made you feel like you were climbing up a roller coaster, resting at the highest point before you fell.
She was an adventure and a thousand stories wrapped in her chic long sleeved dress.
We headed to the hostess, who confirmed that Aaron was waiting at the table.
Shiv hugged me. "Thank you again for this!" She turned to the hostess. "Do you mind if my friend sits at the bar so she can observe my date? We gotta be extra careful these days, you know."
The hostess chuckles. "Trust me, I understand. New York guys are a different breed."
We laughed.
The hostess looks around and nods. "It looks like there is one spot left at the bar. It's all yours." She smiles at me. "And you, ma'am, I'll escort you to your table."
"Thank you," Shiv says, sneaking me one last smile before following her.
I watch my friend go with a smile as I make my way to the bar. Just as the hostess said, there was one seat left between an older couple and a man in a suit.
The older couple were facing each other in what looked like a deep conversation and with the nearly empty glasses on the bar, it appeared they were quite tipsy.
The lone man with dark hair was on his phone, a nearly empty glass of whisky to his left.
I took a deep breath and fought through the awkwardness. I leaned over to the man and said, "Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
The man brought his head up slightly, his expression disinterested. "No, go ahead." And then he looked at me, his dark blue eyes on mine.
I felt my face grow hot at his gaze. He was a handsome man. A very handsome. His skin was as brown as mine, maybe lighter with a golden hue. His dark hair was thick and curled at the ends. His beard was shaved close and from this close, I could smell his cool, sandalwood and smokey scent.
He blinked at me. The man took me in and I felt even more awkward than before. I suddenly felt self-conscious and smiled slightly. "Great, thank you."
I pulled the barstool back, and sat down. Leaning down, I found a hook for my purse. Satisfied, I looked up and saw that I could clearly see my friend and her date at the other side of the restaurant.
Taking out my phone - I saw I had two messages. One from Ahmed saying we should go to Trader's Joes tomorrow to get more snacks. And one from Shiv, which was a winky face and eggplant emoji.
I smirked at the eggplant emoji and put my phone down.
"I'm not sure if this is a reality or a dream."
Startled at that, I looked at the man next to me. "What did you say?"
The man's eyes were bright and there was a small, mischievous smile on his lips. "I mean, I'm just sitting here, having a dreadful day and then you," he waves his hand at me, I spy tattoos on his forearms, "come in and bless me with your presence."
"Oh, my gosh." I chuckle, not really sure what to say to that. From the look in his eyes, he looked like he was being honest but still–what a thing to say to a stranger!
"I mean it. What brings you in today? Do you want a drink?" The man signals the bartender, he starts to head over.
"Oh, thank you." I smile at the bartender. "May I please have a tequila soda with lime."
The bartender nods and looks at the man next to me. "Want me to top you off."
"Sure," he says. As the bartender walks away, the man turns back to me. "So, tell me. What brings you in? Are you waiting for someone?"
Inwardly I shake my head. He's probably asking because he's trying to hit on me. "I'm here because my friend is on a date with this guy and asked if I can watch them just in case he turns out to be a creep."
The bartender returns with our drinks and I thank him.
I take a quick sip of my drink, the bubbles tickling my dry throat.
"That's very noble of you."
I smile. "I guess so. It's what friends do. It's always best to be cautious."
"I agree." The man takes a sip of his drink. "May I have your name?"
A part of me wondered if this was appropriate. I had a boyfriend! But he was only asking my name. "My name is Sybelle."
"Sybelle." He said my name slowly, as if tasting it. "Ancient Greek, right?"
I beamed, pleased that he knew, not many did. "Yes, it means prophetess or oracle. How did you know?"
The man's face was soft as he looked at me. "My name is Apollo, so I know a thing or two about ancient Greece and mythology."
"No way!" I was thrilled. I loved Greek mythology and could talk about it for hours. I peered at the man who was named after the sun god. With golden skin and curly hair, it did remind me of the statues in the museums.
It suited him, the name that is.
And I told him that.
"It suits you," I said.
He looked pleased. "You think so?"
I blinked, realizing I was being inappropriate. I forced a laugh. "Yeah, it's a cool name."
He nods again. "So why is your friend the one on a date and not you?"
I snorted it. "I have not been on a first date in awhile. I have a boyfriend."
I took another sip of my drink, sneaking a look at Apollo to see how he would react. Normally when guys hit on me and they realize I'm taken, they lose interest and slink off into oblivion.
Apollo just peered at me once more and smiled. "That's good to hear. I hope the relationship is going well."
"Yeah," I nodded. "It is going well. It's normal, which is good. I feel like life can get so chaotic that you crave normalcy."
Apollo took a sip of his drink, the strong woodsy of the liquor curled along my nose. He looked thoughtful as he replied. "Normal can be good but what about passion?" He turns to me, his dark blue eyes heavy. He had the type of gaze that felt like a hammer - striking you with the force of his pull. He could get any answer out of you with that look.
I took another sip, the taste of the Casamigos stronger this time. "Passion is a messy thing. It's chaotic. And..." I trail off. "Sometimes, I'd rather keep it locked away rather than let it take free reign."
"Why is that?"
His arm was propped up on the bar, his chin in his hands as turned his body towards mine.
I shook my head with a smile on my lips. "Sorry, I turn every conversation really dark and deep. We don't have to get into it."
"I like my conversations like that. It can be frustrating weeding through the bullshit of polite conversations."
I grew excited. "Exactly! It can be so exhausting. You just get me," I said jokingly, waving my hand toward him.
Apollo's gaze on me is once again soft and for some reason, I liked having his full attention. I wanted to be honest with him.
"It's just..." I bit my lip, trying to piece together my thoughts, "I feel like for so long, I've prayed for normalcy and now that I have it and the peace that comes along with it, I don't want to let it go. I've fought so hard for it." I looked off , mind racing with images of the past. There have been so many dark and harrowing times I've faced alone, I cannot bear the thought of going through it once more.
"I get that. Life can get so intense at times you wish for silence."
"Exactly–but no. I would not say silence. At times, I almost fear silence. Silence to me is a...nothingness." My eyes drifted at the last word.
"Damn, you're deep." I looked back to Apollo to see the slight shock on his face.
"I told you!"
"I know and I like it. I want to talk to you forever." For some reason, I felt relieved that he was deterred by my honesty.
"You don't have deep conversations with anyone?"
"I have my friends and even my brother but no, not like this, not really."
"Well, Apollo, you can have this deep conversation with me until my friend is finished with her date."
"Then I will make this time count."
"So what do you want to talk about?" I finished my first drink and signaled the bartender to make another. I should be slowing down but if we were going to have a heart-to-heart, I would need the help of tequila.
"Are you happy?" The question came out smooth and casual but to me, it felt like a bullet.
I flinched. "Wow, the hardest question in the world!" I would have rather him ask me anything other than that." I think so. Compared to other times in my life, I am on cloud nine. How about you?"
I thanked the bartender when he returned with my drink and he topped off Apollo's.
Apollo nodded in thanks and looked down at the glass. "I should be happy, but it's not enough. I feel like an asshole for saying it."
"Don't be–it's how you feel. You should express it."
"What I thought I wanted in life, I have it. I have an amazing job, I make six figures, an apartment in the upper east side, and the lifestyle that goes all with it. But here I am, alone on a saturday night at some random bar, wondering if I made a mistake."
"Well, for one, you are not alone. You are sitting next to me, Syblele, the oracle." I felt proud when I saw Apollo's lips twitch in amusement. "And it's not too late to change your course."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"I think we have a tendency to confuse what happiness is. It is all about perspective. Some tie it to a feeling and others tie it to materialistic things. Both can be taken from us at any point. So I guess it's what you make it."
Apollo peered at me curiously. "What makes you happy?"
I sat back in my seat and shut my eyes momentarily. I pictured it. "Waking up to peace. To not be weighed down by my emotions and negative thoughts. I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life. I'm better now. So I am more appreciative of life now since I crawled up from the gutter." My lips twisted at the last sentence. I thought of the times when I was severely depressed and could barely get out of bed. There were actual times where I would have to crawl, the carpet rough against my knees.
"Wow, that's amazing."
I opened my eyes. "Ha, yeah. Talking about mental health used to be difficult for me but now I've made it my strength. Being vulnerable and open about it."
"I appreciate it. I wish more people did. Because when I look at you, so stunning, gorgeous, brillant, and sweet, I would have never known you have suffered that way."
I let the compliments roll over me, not allowing them to take hold on me. "Ha, that's the point of depression. It wants you to isolate and hide it from the world so others don't know how to help you. I had to learn to let people see beneath my facade."
"And I'm honored to have seen it." He lifts up his glass as if he cheers me.
I giggled and clinked my glass with his. "Omg this drink must be strong because I am telling you all my secrets."
"Not all of them."
"I mean, after a couple more of these, I will." I was already more than halfway done with the second drink. Any more tequila and I would be making a fool of myself.
"Then let's do it."