One of the dreary consequences of being sick is that you have to sleep most of the times. It was surely dreary for someone like Ram who works round the clock. He was not habituated to sit quietly. Adi had strictly ordered him to rest and not to work. He felt stiff due to laying on the bed continually entire day.
He got out of bed and went on the terrace. He strolled there for a while. The evening was still warm. The wind blew frequently. The walk tired him as he was still weak.
He sat on the chair and rested his head back. He closed his eyes and felt the air touched his cheeks. His hair moved with the wind. It was a soothing. Particularly, after the tough night and day he had.
He couldn't recall the last time he felt this. The last time he spent doing nothing.
After sometime he headed back to his room. He stopped in the corridor when he heard the chaos downstairs. He stood there and peeped down in the hall. His family was checking the things Shubham got for them this Diwali. Mami excitedly flaunted the designer dress he got while Nandini praised him for selecting the best brands she liked.
People buy new things during festivals.
Whenever Ram went for shopping, he would buy things for his family. Irrespective of whether they had shopped or not, they need or not, he would get gifts for them. Particularly, on festivals.
But this time circumstances were different. He was unwell. He was hospitalized for a night. It was not possible for him to go so he asked Shubham to get things for the Family this year. Everyone was happy.
He was not speaking or eating yet he felt like he was choking. He smiled at them from far and went back into his room.
Some more time passed. Tarun arrived. He served him dinner. He asked him if he forgot anything or not but Tarun declined.
Not that he was unaware of how things are yet he felt that maybe Shubham got something for him too. Given that he was sick and unable to go out he would buy something new for himself on the occasion of Diwali, but like always he was forgotten.
Did he expect? No. Was he hurt? Deeply.
But thanks to the powerful medication that he fell asleep soon, saving himself from another long night of hurt and overthinking.
He woke up to a morning like a regular one or maybe even duller. It was festival of light but like they say those provide light to others often burn themselves. Ram was one of them.
His health was much better. After getting ready, he took his laptop and he was surfing shopping sites. So what if nobody got him anything, he had himself and he loved shopping too.
Food and shopping, his saviours.
He wanted the attire to be delivered today so he contacted few of the mall owners he knew. The good will he had that they readily agreed to the best clothes and even get it stitch, if he wants, within few hours for him. But they agreed on the catalogs.
He checked the catalogs they sent. After scratching his head for some time, he finally selected two of them — a suit and a traditional wear — because he liked to have options.
****
It was post afternoon. He was resting when someone knocked on his door. It was Shivina.
"Since when you need permission to enter my room?" he questioned as she entered.
"Bhai, you are sick. I thought it'd be better... Woh chodo, how are you?" she sat beside him.
"How do I look?" he smirked.
She raised an eyebrow and stared, "Sach bolu?"
"Don't disappoint me Shivi," he said.
"Hot lag rahe ho Bhai " she teased.
"Shivi." He widened his eyes out of embarrassment, "Kuch bhi bolti hain tu. Yeh bata, where is Akshay?"
"He will directly come for the Pooja in the evening with everyone. I came early because half of my stuff is still here. My makeup, jewelry, footwear. It's my first Diwali so I have to look the best. Also Akki agreed to accompany for the party tonight. Great na!" she said excitedly.
He watched her speaking and then asked, "Bacche tu khush hai na?"
"Aise kyun puch rahe ho? Of course I'm happy. In fact, Akki is getting AC for me. Bohot khyaal rakhta hain mera. And his family is great too. I just love there. All thanks to you Bhai. You supported my choice and I could marry him." She gave him a side hug.
He hugged her back and kissed her head, "I'm very happy for you Shivi. Dad hote toh woh bhi bohot khush hote."
"Okay. Bohot hua rona-dhona I've something for you." She broke the hug and gently wiped his cheek. "This is for you. Mere sasural se aaya hain," she chimed and handed him the bag.
He smiled.
She got up, "One more thing, check this." She handed a cloth bag to him, "Bua sent this for you."
In it was a steel jar. He opened the lid and smiled at laddos. He glanced at her in glee.
She said, "We made this for Diwali. You told her you like laddo so she sent this." She kept a laddo on his hand and took the jar, "It's in kitchen. Thik hone ke baad khana."
"Just one..." he grumbled.
As she was leaving she turned back and wished him, "Happy Diwali Bhai!" and closed the door.
"Happy Diwali," he smiled as he tasted the laddo.
Indeed it was happy Diwali.
****
"Dekho Bua, Shivina bhi aagai," Akshay said while pointing at the stairs. Meera, Priya and Sandy turn around.
She was coming down wrapping her arm around Ram's arm. He still appeared dull. His posture was still weak yet the shine in his eyes, the delightful smile made it unbelievable that he was hospitalized. Both smiling cheerfully, walked down.
Priya's eyes fell on the Kurta he wore. It was the same kurta that they got him as Diwali present. Not that she really wanted to buy individual gifts for everyone for she believed that getting them presents is useless and it was sheer waste of money. Kapoors were super rich. The casual clothes they wore was something they couldn't even afford even on festivities. So even if they but anything for them they won't use it but on Meera's instance she had to agree.
And now she even had to agree that he looked handsome even in the simple, cotton Kurti they got for him.
Meera leaned forward to Priya. She cleared her throat and with their eyes on Ram she said, "Kapoors accepted the gift wholeheartedly."
"Not everyone," she claimed.
"But Shivina chose the dress Akshay bought over the designer one her brother got for her. Ram too accepted the gift," she said.
"Shivina is wearing the designer dress after the pooja for the party tonight. Mr Kapoor might change as well," Priya said trying to defend her claims.
"So what?" Meera questioned.
She added, "Shivina told us that it's a big party and the host is their family friends. Closests ones. Business partners, friends would be there. It's quite normal to dress up accordingly and go. Sab teri tarah nahi hote"
"I'm not fake and I don't pretend," she protested.
"Getting ready, wearing makeup does not mean you are fake. Sabki apni pasand hoti hain. And Important thing is he not only accepted the gift we bought but also wore it for the Pooja," Meera explained.
"Maybe he wore it for Shivina and nothing else," she still tried to deny.
"Bas kar Priya. I have said this earlier and I'm saying this again. Not everyone is Mahendra or Neeraj. Kuch Ram bhi hote hain."
Meera stopped when she saw Ram coming towards her. They smiled at each other and she inquired about this health. Within seconds they got into talking. After the healthy soup, it was now time to brag about the tasty laddos.
She observed them chatting and laughing. She observed the way he behaved with Meera. The way he respected her. He was not only handsome with his charm and looks but also a beautiful human with an innocent heart.
She was not that kind of person who would accept things readily, particularly when it's about Men. But the experience with Ram was always different. He was different.
Whatever she may say or do or pretend, she could notice all the things he did that makes him different from the rest. At times, her heart wanted to believe all this but the past stopped her always.
****
"Bhabhi rehene do, she won't join us," Sandy said when Shivina tried to convince Priya to burst firecrackers with them.
"Woh toh hum yaha hain, warna Pri Di never buys or let us buy firecrackers," she added while lighting yet another sparkler in front of her.
She cover her nose with her palm and stood in the corner while the rest continued to enjoy the crackers.
Nandini received a call. Then she went to Shivi and Shubham and said, "Shivi, Shubu ab bas hogaya. They are almost here so we will have to leave soon for the party. So Hurry up and get ready."
"Shivi needs to hurry up. I'm ready. She needs to do touch up and all," Shubham teased Shivina.
"Shup up!" Shivina snapped and turned to Nandini, "Mom, is Ram Bhai coming with us?"
"Tumhe toh pata hain na, Shivi, he has not yet recovered completely. Doctor asked him to rest and not to go anywhere. So he won't be joining us this year," she replied.
Shivina wanted him to join them but he really needed to rest so she didn't insist much and let him rest.
Priya heard this. She thought she must meet him. At least ask how he was. Although she went to the hospital twice but both the times she did not meet him properly. And after whatever he did for her, it would be ungrateful to not to even ask how he was despite meeting these many times. Thus she decided to go upstairs and meet him before leaving.
****
The door was closed but not latched. It was open an inch wider.
She pushed the door and entered his room. The sound of her footsteps woke him up.
He looked at her. She looked beautiful in the Magenta-pink saree she wore. This time her hair was different than usual. She had braided them on the left side while the right half was left free. She looked splendid. And like always, the room brighten as she entered. Vedika truly had it. Her mere presence made his world happier.
"How are you, Ram?" she asked.
"Vedu. Tum yaha? Are you fine? Is everything—"
"You are sick. We should be worried for you, not you," Shashi intervened.
"Ram, tumse milne aaye the. Nandini Aunty informed us about your health," she told him.
"I'm alright Vedu. Don't worry."
They talked for a bit. Then Shashi checked his watch and said, "Accha, Ram we must take your leave now. Tumhe toh pata hoga, Khurana ke ghar Party hain so..."
"Oh, yaa. Of course," Ram said in low voice, almost dejected.
"Tum nahi aa rahe? Everyone is accompanying us," Vedika said looking at him.
"Vedika, is it even a question? Doctor has advised him to rest. Nandini Aunty ne bataya na"
Ram nodded in agreement with him and forced a smile. Then he watched them leave.
Vedika's words echoed him. How could he not fulfill what she demanded? It doesn't matter if he was unwell, it was an opportunity to be with her. Not exactly with her, but he could at least be around her, even if it's for sometime, even if she was with someone else. What mattered is that few more moments of Vedika being around and he would never miss that.
He ordered Tarun to get his car and driver ready. Meanwhile he headed to dressing table and brushed his hair.
He was about to leave the room when his phone rang. Vikrant had called him. He added Adi and Kunal too.
"Guys, I'm in hurry so—"
"You are not going anywhere," he ordered.
"How do you know?" Ram said and then glared at Tarun, who then looked down.
"Don't stare him. You are very careless with yourself so we had to do this," Kunal added.
"I'm going. Main thik hoon yaar. Just few hours and I'm not alnone. Sab honge waha," he protested.
"We know you are alone. Brinda Maa ke saath hain. Pooja hote hi we are coming there," said Aditya.
"Its just matter of hours, I'm leaving. Bye!"
"So do we use Brahmastra?" they said amongst themselves.
"What Bramhastra?"
"It's filmy but tujhe Brinda ki kasam—"
"Noooooo," he screamed out furiously.
"We had no choice kyunki—" Vikrant tried to explain but Ram hung up the call. He threw the phone on the bed.
Tarun saw this and left the room.
It was his chance today to be around Vedika. And he missed it. How could he? That too when Vedika wanted him to come. Not that she said this. But even her asking something was an order, a wish for him to fulfill. Then it doesn't matter how he felt about it.
He already felt guilty as he had to break Shivina and Sid's engagement.
He sat there and reminisced about their good old days. Their togetherness. Then their break up. Then her marrying Shashi. And thereafter the numerous social gatherings were he witnessed Vedika and Shashi, the perfect couple being with each other, loving each other.
A decade of their relationship, two decades of loving her only to cause him pain and hurt in return.
It killed him. Everytime seeing them together hurted him deeper and deeper. Yet he would see them. Only to get glimpse of her. Only to see her happy. Only to wish good for her and them. Only to wish them happiness of lifetime.
It was like consuming poison.
A poison which kills you little everytime you have it however incapable of killing you completely to the death.
You have it. Despite knowing the pain and the hurt you have it. Because with the time, you have only gottten more and more addicted to it. Addicted to the hurt it caused. It's now your comfort zone which you fear to leave.
The poison is no more bitter rather you think the bitterness is the new sweetness and you allow it to control you, hurt you.
Vedika was his sweet poison.