No.
You stumble, kicking up dirt as you run.
No.
"Alora!" Din calls out from behind you. You'd darted from the barn the second you'd sensed it.
The child. Danger. Get the child.
You slide to a halt in the dirt, filling the air with a dusty cloud as you scout the area. You can see the kid playing with the other children across the way. No one other than the villagers is with them. No strangers or obvious threats. It must be something in the distance.
Your senses focus and it feels as if a string is pulling at your chest, away from the village.
"Alora." Din slides to a stop at your side. "Alora, what's wrong?"
"The kid." Your voice rasps as your head whips around to the forest.
"What?"
"Someone's going to hurt the kid."
The villagers have started to notice your frantic nature and they're glancing around at one another, mumbling questions.
Din doesn't question your statement. Glancing back, you realize that he'd darted for the kid the second the words had left your lips. He ushers the kids away to their homes, yelling at them to scatter while he covers the child with his body in a protective manner. His armor has become a wall of safety around the kid and Din looks back at you, yelling.
"Go! Find who it is!"
You sprint for the woods, eyes focusing on the area that the Force is drawing you to. A dark figure stands out to you in the trees and a small growl emits from your lips. The hunter is hiding behind a tree, his sniper rifle aimed at Din and the child, but his attention diverts to you as he notices your quick approach. He fires a shot at you and you duck, letting the bolt pass by and slam into a tree as you enter the first line of trees. The hunter recoils in fear when it realizes your anger and he sends another shot in your direction as he starts to retreat.
He turns his back to you as he runs, a deadly mistake. Vaulting over a fallen tree, you pull a vibroblade from your boot as you fly through the air. Your boots slam into the ground as you continue your pursuit, turning the blade in your hand. The hunter is weaving through the trees and he's expecting you to try to shoot at him, not throw a knife. A cry of pain and surprise flies from his mouth as the knife slams into his back right as he emerges from behind a tree.
He stumbles from the force of the blade but continues to run against the pain, kicking up leaves from the forest floor. Calling another blade to your hand, you hurl it at him, your strength mixing with the focus of the Force. It's as if it moves in slow motion as you watch the handle turn through the air. The knife plunges into the base of the hunter's neck with a sickening thud, right between his shoulders and spine. A strained croak flies from his lips as he crumples to the ground, reaching out as if someone will help him. Even if there was someone near, no one would have moved to help him. Not with the angry Jedi on his tail, her eyes flaring.
Your pace slows and you walk in front of the fallen bounty hunter, squatting to meet his eye as he struggles to breathe. The terrifying gaze of the Jedi was calm and yet scorching at the same time. It was the last thing he saw as the light drains from his eyes and his ragged breathing ended with one final croak.
You sit for a few more moments, trying to steady your breathing and your anger. Pulling the blades from the body, you strip the hunter of his weapons and carry them back to the village, leaving his body in the woods. His sniper rifle was strapped to your back and his blaster hung loosely in your grasp. Your fingers nervously tap against it as you walk as your senses haven't calmed.
Din is still guarding the child but he turns to watch you emerge from the woods as if he could sense your presence.
"Alora!" He waves at you, a giant smile plastered to his face as relief sweeps over him. The bond between you still crackles with life and you can sense his relief and happiness as you step through the last stretch of trees.
Your lips stretch into a soft smile at the sensation of his emotions, sending a soft flame of warmth through your chest. The slow and wary stalk that you had carried slowly turns into an energetic jog as the urgency to be with them surges through you.
Your guard drops as you run, your gaze trained on the child and Din. Your senses are focused on the shared emotions of your bond and you're unaware of the second hunter hiding on the outskirts of the village. The nervousness that had consumed you previously had disappeared once Din came into view.
The changeling had taken advantage of the chaos that the first hunter had caused, sneaking into the shadows of the huts as the villagers scattered to patiently await your return. The new orders for your capture radiate through her mind as she focuses the scope of her rifle on your skull. The target is in dangerous company. Proof of death will be rewarded to the victorious hunter.
Her finger flexes on the trigger, pulling it as she sees a smile growing on your face in the distance.
You stumble back as a voice rings through your head.
Alora, stop!
You stumble in shock as the blaster shot flies by, grazing your bad shoulder. You let out a grunt of pain as you struggle to duck away from the attack. One of your knees slams into the dirt as you drop and you try to assume a stance from which you can defend yourself.
"ALORA!" Din's scream fills the air as you fall, your head spinning.
Lora, look. The sensation of a gentle hand turns your chin to look at the huts that hid the changeling from sight.
It feels as if a string is pulling your focus right to her and your vision zeroes in on the assassin. Eyes narrowing, you push off of the ground with your propped knee, leaving dust behind you as the Force accelerates your speed.
The assassin fires another shot at you, forcing you to slide under it. It's as if time has slowed and you limbo under the bolt, sliding on your knees and watching as it flies by. The heat of it licks your forehead, but it quickly fades as it shoots off behind you. You pray that no one was pursuing you to help and that the stray bolt didn't cause any harm.
Your chest is heavy with emotion and yet the weight of it does not affect you. In fact, the mass of emotions is driving you. A mixture of anger and guilt pushes you forward as you fly towards the bounty hunter. Anger at the attacks and guilt at the damage that your presence has done in both Din and the child's lives, as well as the attention that you've drawn to the village.
The changeling continues her fire, hoping to knock you down with a bullet before you reach her. There's nowhere for her to run in this area, not like on Coruscant, her usual hunting ground. The hunter's eyes widen as she watches you close the distance quickly.
With one last push off of the ground, you catapult yourself into the air. Your body turns in the air to aim itself at her and you rip your saber from your belt, igniting it. The hunter tries to duck for cover, scrambling away from you in vain. You slam into her with a scream, landing on her back and pinning her to the ground. She cries out in pain as you hear the bones of her spine crack from your landing.
Pointing your blade at the back of her neck, you stare at her. Her face is pressing into the dirt, smearing the olive skin that she had donned.
"Show me what you really look like," you snarl, eyes flaring as they meet her gaze.
Fear flickers through her dark green eyes and she quickly changes her demeanor in an attempt to hide it. The hunter scowls defiantly up at you, refusing to show you any more fear.
"Fine then. I guess I'll have to see for myself."
Raising the saber over your head, you point the blade down to the center of her back.
"It really is unfortunate. Perhaps we could have figured something out. Some girl talk. I'd like to get to know the person who's trying to kill me and the kid," you spit.
With one swift motion, you bring your blade in between her shoulder blades, skewering her to the ground. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens as if she's screaming, but only a wheezed groan leaves her lips.
Her olive skin fades to reveal her true tone of faded green, her face shifting to one with reptilian features. Her now lifeless eyes become yellow and her neck muscles relax as her head rests against the ground.
Your anger fades as you watch the life leave her body. Your gaze drops, and you step off of her body and cover it with her cloak. A hurricane of realization and emotion whirl around in your chest as you look at the lifeless mound on the ground. Realization at the extent of your anger slams into your chest, adding onto the grief and weight that you feel. Your saber quiets its humming as it retracts into the hilt.
"Alora!"
You turn to Din's voice, your head hanging in grief for what your mere existence has done to those around you. The amount people who you've been forced to harm because of your status as a Jedi. Because they hunted you. The people that have been harmed in your attackers' attempts to destroy, just because they offered you support and assistance.
Din takes you by surprise when he plows into you with an embrace, picking you up from the floor. You didn't know what you expected, but this certainly wasn't it.
Yelping in surprise, you wrap your arms around his neck as he holds you, your feet hovering above the ground.
"Din!"
He's completely ignoring the body at his feet. His helmet tucks in the space between your neck and your shoulder as he hugs you in silence.
"Din?"
You set your hand on the back of his helmet in a comforting manner. He leans his head back suddenly, staring at your hurt shoulder while he continues to hold you.
"Are you okay? Did they hurt you anywhere else?"
Your face is glowing red from shock and bashfulness. He's hugged you before, but not like this. It was as if he was scared you'd fly away if he let you go. His grip around you is firm yet gentle, careful not to hurt you. The bond between you sends flashes of his worry and care through your mind and your eyes widen when you realize the extent of his worry and care for you.
When he had told you to catch the first hunter, he was fighting his instinct to guard you as he did with the child. To hide you from harm.
"Alora? Are you okay?" Din's voice is urgent and panic spikes in him at your lack of response.
"Y-yes. I'm fine," you offer him a soft smile, your face still tinged with red.
His body relaxes, slowly lowering you so that your feet touch the ground once again. Your arms are still wrapped around his neck and you stare into his visor. You find yourself wishing to see the emotion etched on his face.
Din holds your gaze for a few moments, before letting his gaze drift to the dead assassin at your feet. You look away in shame, turning your face to look at the dirt at your feet. Your arms drop to your side and you shuffle away from the body in shame.
Din's hands on your hips stop you, holding you gently by his side. You don't fight his hold but turn your head farther away from the evidence of your violence.
"Two assassins in one day. Impressive."
You're silent at his words, gritting your teeth.
"Alora, what's wrong?" His gloved hand raises to your cheek, turning your face up to his own. Your eyes are still downcast, avoiding his gaze.
"I-... I killed them."
"They tried to kill you, Alora. And the kid. What choice did you have?" he asks gently, his helmet tilting in concern and slight confusion.
Lifting your gaze to meet his, Din can see the shame in your eyes, along with sorrow at the lives you had to take. He starts to open his mouth to speak, but you shake your head, indicating that you don't want to talk about it at the moment. Din's grip on your waist loosens and you step away from him. Glancing down at the dead hunter, you mutter your apologies for her death and walk back to the crowd of villagers.
Questions fly from their mouths at your approach and your face is solemn as you pick up the kid and walk back to the barn silently. He coos in your arms, happy to see you, but pauses when he senses that you're upset. The kid's small hand reaches out to touch your forearm, patting it to get your attention.
"Hey, theesa. You're safe now." Stepping to the barn, you set the kid on your cot and move to grab your things.
He coos worriedly as he watches you walk around the barn, shoving clothing into a satchel. The flicker of a presence try to enter your mind. Instinctively, you put up a wall around your heart and mind. The same wall that you had used to fight off the night terrors and the breakdowns from your flashbacks. You pause in your packing and turn to look at the child.
"Kid, don't try to look in my head, please. It'll only hurt the both of us."
His eyes widen and he continues to try to reach out through the Force to talk to you. A wall goes up in your mind, blocking him from feeling your emotions and your thoughts. Your gaze softens as you watch him close his eyes as he continues to try to communicate.
The kid is strong with the Force and he is older than you, regardless of his appearance, but your years of torment and torture from the Empire in their search for the remaining Jedi has strengthened your ability to block others from your mind. Darth Vader himself has taken part in your mental torture... The kid won't be able to get through, he'll tire himself out.
After a few moments, the kid plops down on the cot, his eyes revealing that he's given up on making a connection. Guilt rips through your heart at his sadness, knowing that he desperately wants a deeper connection with you through the Force. It's selfish to disconnect yourself from him, but you keep telling yourself separating your experiences and trauma of Order 66 is for the best. It would be too much. The kid doesn't deserve to live through that trauma again, especially not from your persepective.
"I'm sorry, theesa. It's for your own good." You pat his head before turning back to packing your bags.
"Alora."
You stop at his voice, staring at your bags as Din walks up behind you. His hand rests on your shoulder and you turn your head away.
"Alora."
"We have to leave, Din. We talked about this." Your gaze lifts to look out of the barn window, still hesitating to look at the Mandalorian standing behind you.
"Yes... I know."
"They're not going to stop coming, Din."
His lack of response confirms your suspicions and you close the satchel, turning to face him. You choose to ignore how closely he is standing to you and stare up at his visor.
"We need to leave. Hell, I think I need to leave." Frustration mixes with anger and it radiates through your voice. "I should have known better than to put you and the child in danger like this. Take the kid and keep him safe," you say as you push past him.
"Alora, no." He grabs your wrist, pulling you back to face him.
"You can't possibly think that you can protect me and the child, Din. Yes, you're strong, but it's not worth it. I'm a Jedi. The main thing that the Empire has hunted for decades. They will stop at nothing to rid the galaxy of us and I cannot let you get caught in the crossfire. I can take care of myself. I've kept them at bay for this long, and I can continue doing so," you say, staring into his visor with intensity and determination that matches your voice.
The wall that you've built around your emotions and mind keeps you from sensing Din's thoughts and emotions. You're stuck with staring at the empty void of Din's visor, not knowing what emotions may be riddled in his expression. The reflection of your face stares back at you in his visor and you fight back a wince at the sight of your anger-filled expression. His grip on your wrist tightens when you try to pull away from him.
"When I invited you onto my ship, I did it with the intention of keeping you safe, Alora. You and the child. So you that wouldn't be alone." His voice is gruff as he tries to keep his voice stable.
"You asked me to join your crew, Din. Your crew. That's a business deal. You have no responsibility for my safety and no responsibility for me." You're struggling to keep your voice calm and smooth as you look up at him.
Din is practically shaking with anger as he looked down at you.
"We owe nothing to each other," you say, eyes narrowed.
If I can drive him away, then I can keep him safe. This is my problem, not his.
He releases his hold on you in surprise, taking a step back. You focus on your anger to avoid thinking of the pain you're causing him.
"What do you mean, we owe nothing to each other? That's not true." His voice is low and he struggles to remain calm.
"You turned me in to the Empire and then you saved me. I saved your life and you saved mine. You don't owe me anything and I don't owe you anything. We are equals. We have no burden or quarrel with one another. We owe each other nothing."
You turn away from Din and throw your cloak over your shoulders, leaving the barn with your things and brushing your hand over the kid's head as you pass by.
"Take care of him, theesa."
You summon your blaster to your hand as you step out the door. You need to get away before these emotions explode out of your chest. Before Din sees how you truly feel. A concoction of anger, guilt, regret, sorrow, and other unintelligible feelings is brewing in your heart and you desperately need to get away.
I don't want to leave. I really don't. It's been so long since I've been truly happy and I had that here. I had that with him.
Omera approaches you as you make your way to the outskirts of the village, lightly touching your arm to get your attention.
"Alora, where are you going?" Her brown eyes are filled with concern and confusion as you meet her gaze.
"I need to leave, Omera. Di-... The Mandalorian will probably be leaving soon as well." You touch her shoulder gently. "Thank you for all of the kindness that you have shown us. It will no longer be safe here if we stay. I pray that the Force will be with you."
She nods slowly, a small frown spreading over her lips but she tries to fight it with a comforting smile. "Thank you for freeing our village. You and the Mandalorian will always have a sanctuary here. We are indebted to you."
"Thank you, Omera. Give Winta a hug for me."
Omera smiles and you continue on your way. Stepping into the trees of the forest, you pass the dead hunter that you had left to rot. You pause for a moment to look at the body before moving forward, a scowl etched over your face. The forests are quiet, save for the sounds of wildlife moving through the vegetation.
Sudden movement in the bushes sound out behind you and you whip around with your blaster pointed, freezing in surprise when you see Din running through the trees.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" You groan as he runs up to you, grabbing your shoulders.
"What makes you think that you can just walk away?" Din growls as he looks down at you. He's holding you in place, refusing to let you leave.
"Our conversation was over, Din," you say with a growl that matches his own.
"No, it wasn't... You can't just leave."
"I am my own person." You rip yourself away from his grasp, stepping back from him. Whatever you do, you can't let him see how this is tearing you apart. The wall that you have put up is the only thing that is keeping you from going into a fit of emotion.
"Alora, you can't face this alone!"
Something in you snaps and your growl becomes sincere.
"I have been facing this alone for years," you hiss, eyes narrowing in genuine anger. "I have been alone... for years. I have taken care of myself for years!"
You step up to the Mandalorian, aggressively poking his chest and pushing him backward with each shove.
"You have no right to tell me what I can or can't do, Din. Besides, I'm doing this for your own good."
"My own good? What does that even mean? I'm a Mandalorian and a bounty hunter. My entire life is fighting and surviving, Alora. I can help you. You need me."
"I NEED NO ONE!" Your roar seems to silence the forest. Even the woodland creatures have quieted. You could hear a pin drop from a mile away.
Angry tears build in your eyes as the wall around your heart starts to crack from the strain of emotion and pain.
"I HAVE BEEN ALONE FOR YEARS. BY CHOICE MIGHT I ADD. AND FOR GOOD REASON." Growls hiss through your gritted teeth as you advance towards Din, your pokes turning into shoves at his cuirass. "I LOST EVERYONE. EVERYONE I HAVE EVER LOVED. ARI. THE JEDI. THE CLONES. MASTER THORN. EVERYONE." Your voice cracks from the ache in your heart as you yell.
Din's eyes widen at the sound of the new name. You have never spoken about the master that had trained you in your time with the Jedi. The Jedi Master that had been assigned to you.
"And why would you want to continue being alone, Alora, when you can be with me and the kid? You don't have to be alone anymore. You can let us in." His frustration mixes with desperation as he looks down at your angry form. His helmet hides his angry grimace as he watches you.
"NO!" Hot tears have started to fall down your cheeks. "I can't let anyone in! Not again! I can't let it happen again."
Din's expression softens and his brow knits together as he realizes your meaning.
"Alora..."
"Every time I allow someone to help me or be in my life, they get hurt. I can't allow that."
You've started to rant, angry tears continuing to fall down your face.
"Either the people who help me get hurt or I have to cause someone else harm. My existence causes harm in people's lives. I'm tired of running and killing. So... so tired of killing. I'm done. I can't drag you into this life of hell as well as the kid. I can't. I just can't."
He's silent, staring at you as his body slows its huffs of anger and frustration. The wall around your heart is tumbling down, the rubble of it rupturing your heart as it cracks and breaks. The faces of your fallen family flash before you once again and the forgotten burn you keep hidden on your arm flares in pain at the memory of your loss. You wince and back away from Din as all of the memories floods you once again, the repercussions of your emotional wall falling down all at once. You grab your arm in pain and scratch at the wrapping as the Force swarms around you, amplifying the intense pain of your past.
Din's anger diminishes as he watches you writhe in pain and he steps forward with his arms raised in an attempt to calm you, murmuring your name.
You're sure that you look like a madman, pushing away the wrappings on your arms to display the long burn marks that run down them like veins of lightning. Din's eyes widen at the sight of them. They weren't fresh, from the recent events of the explosion. These burns were old; reminders of her struggles since the Wars. He'd seen them when you had just met, but you tended to keep your arms covered with the vambrace so he hadn't seen them since. Tears continue to fall down your face as your mind is filled with memories that you had tried to block out for your own sake. Your entire body shakes with emotion as you try to control the sobs that are falling through your lips.
Din's eyes widen as he watches your breakdown, slowly walking toward you. The years of holding back the worst of the memories is sucking you in to experience them once again; the price of blocking them out for all this time. Death fills your heart and mind, threatening to break your sanity.
"No! No!" Tears blur your vision as you look up at him. "Make it stop, make it stop! Don't let them die. Not again."
The faces are still flashing through your mind, along with their deaths. Fear lances through your chest at the ferocity of your emotions and Din can read it in your eyes. You looked like a frightened animal cornered by its predator.
"Alora..."
You're staring at your hands as they quake.
"Din, make it stop," you whisper, glancing back and forth between your hands and Din. "I can't take it, make it stop. Make it stop, make it stop."
Din removes his gloves, throws them onto the forest floor, and takes your hands into his own. His hands travel past your hands and up your arms, brushing over the burning scars, and grasps your shoulders gently.
"Hey... hey. Shhh. It's okay."
Din pulls you into a gentle embrace, pressing your head against his armored chest. He gently pets your head soothingly and your sobs start to soften as his presence replaces the harsh memories in your mind.
Din winces as your bond sparks and your memories leak into his mind in your moment of weakness. The faces of the fallen and the murders of your loved ones. He can see a Togruta woman with blue and white markings that travel down her montrals being shot down trying to protect you from the incoming clone armies... The armies that had once stood by your side, now turned against you. The woman deflects shots with her glowing green saber as she screams for you to run. To get to Master Yoda. She's suddenly thrown back by a flurry of bolts in her chest, leaving her a smoking heap on the beaches of Kashyyyk. Din can hear your tortured scream and he realizes that he's witnessing the murder of your master.
He can see the bloodied halls of the Temple... Ari dying in your arms... A villager woman being cut down by a woman cloaked in black, a double-sided blade leaking a red glow tight in her grasp... You screaming in anguish as a bearded man in a brown cloak pulls you away from the danger... You're pinned down by another villain cloaked in black; green and red sparks flying around you as your blades push against one another. A scowl is etched over your face as you fight to keep their blade from pressing into your neck. The memory flashes to you being strapped down on a metal table and the familiar figure of Darth Vader standing over you, his thundering, mechanical voice filling Din's mind.
"You will turn, my child. You will join the Inquisitors. And you will join me."
Suddenly, the scene changes to you standing in a snowy terrain, staring up at icy gates of stone. Your broken saber is in your hand and you step towards the gate, the whispers of the fallen Jedi filling your head.
The memories fade from Din's mind as they fade in ferocity from your own. You gasp through your tears as he holds you. Din's struggling to hold back tears at the sight of the torture that you had to endure in your past.
"I'm sorry, Din. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have seen that." You start to step away from him but he pulls you back, tightening his embrace.
"Alora, you're not alone anymore." Your eyes widen and your head raises to look up at Din's helmet. The tears make his helmet look blurry as you look up at him, eyes glancing over his hidden face. The cloth around his neck has shifted and you're able to see the scruff on his jaw that is peeking out from under his helmet. Reaching up, you wrap your arms around his neck, returning his embrace.
"You're not alone... You don't have to face this alone. You can talk to me about these memories." His voice is soothing and quiet as he soothes you. "Holding all of these feelings and memories in... it's only hurting you. You need to let them out. It's not healthy to keep them in."
"I... I don't want you to experience this pain too, Din," you sniff. "I kept them at bay for a reason. I locked them out... When I let the feelings out... You'll feel them too. Our... connection... I can't hurt you... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."
"I already feel them, Alora... I understand."
You look up at Din, staring at the glimpse of his chin under his helmet.
"What?"
"While, yes, our... connection... has allowed me to feel some of your emotions. Your memories as well. But I understand them."
Your breath catches in your throat and you blink away the tears. You watch as he swallows his emotion.
"I told you how my parents died. While I didn't lose as many people as you have, I understand. I understand the pain of losing someone you love. You struggle to trust, just as I do."
You're fighting to keep the tears out of your eyes now as his remorse and pain washes through you. You press your face into his neck, tightening the embrace.
"I invited you to join me on my ship because... because I care about you, Alora."
Your eyes snap open at his words.
"You don't have to be alone anymore. You can talk to me. Don't carry this burden alone. Come back with me to the kid. Stay with us."
Your mind keeps replaying his previous words.
I care about you, Alora.
What did that mean?
"Will you come back? Please?" His voice shakes with emotion as he leans away from your embrace so that he can meet your gaze.
Tears of relief glisten in your eyes and you nod.
"Yes." You leap back into an embrace, sighing with relief. "Thank you, Din. Thank you so much," you whisper.
He returns the embrace and you hum with happiness.
"Don't be afraid of your emotions. Emotion is normal. It's normal to react this way to what you've been through. You need to process this trauma. It's normal to feel love and pain. You should allow yourself to feel that. I... I think that the deprivation of them is what causes a Jedi to... turn, I think that's the word you used? Avoiding strong sensations worsens the reaction when you actually feel them. Take this breakdown for example." he chuckles nervously. "Maybe... and I'm just guessing... but maybe if you allowed yourself to experience those feelings, it will make you stronger in your sense of balance and mentality."
Din has never spoken so much in such a short time and his nervous ranting mixed with his concern for you is endearing. Despite how endearing he may be, his words are intriguing and you ponder them for a moment. Perhaps he's right. The Jedi made the mistake of forcing their members to deprive themselves of connection, even when they promoted love and kindness to the galaxy. It was hypocritical of them, to spread such ideas and not follow them themselves.
"Maybe...," you mumble, just loud enough for Din to hear.
"Come on, Alora. Let's go get the kid."
There's a small smile in his voice as he looks down at you, giving you one last squeeze of encouragement.
~~~
Hey guys! Thank you for all of the votes and I look forward to more comments! I'm fiddling with an idea right now and I'd like your input. I'm putting together short stories and snippets of Alora's time in the Clone Wars and after the downfall of the Jedi. So you'll be able to see clone content, Padawan trainings, Ari, etc. The works. I might add in some bits of Din Djarin content as well, who knows 😌
Please let me know if this is something you'd like to see...
(Also, if anyone is willing to help me with some concept art or a cover idea then lmk 👀 I'm not good at drawing lol)
See you in the next chapter, loves!
<3