It was Tuesday. She'd left home with Jace Saturday late afternoon. She skipped school two days in a row. And she knew her mom and Aaron were probably trying to get a hold of her.
"What are you thinking about?" Jace asked, his voice groggy with sleep. It was eight-thirty, and her tense body intertwined with his had woken him up. He traced his fingertips across her naked torso.
"I should have gone back in for my phone." He heard the regret.
"You can use mine if you want to. You know that." He said, kissing her shoulder. They'd made love a dozen times easy since the impromptu stop on the car ride home. He would never grow tired of her body.
"I know." She said. "Part of me wants to make them suffer for the way my dad treated you. But then it's not my dad suffering. It's my mom and my brother." He opened his eyes and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He put it in her hand as he kissed down her torso. His lips hovered over her, where they and his fingers had been so many times the last few days. She shuddered underneath them. "It feels like the first time every time." She whispered.
"That's love, sweetheart." He replied. She waited until she orgasmed again, and he'd come inside of her again before she picked up his phone. She rolled onto her stomach, he tickled her back. She knew his password; they had no secrets between them. She texted Aaron.
I'm sorry I didn't bring my phone with me, and that I didn't text you sooner. Please forgive me. She sent the same message to her mother. And then she pulled up his camera and turned it on selfie mode. She laid her head on the pillow, and he kissed her neck. She took a picture. She took several as he laid his head with hers. They were as cute as they came. He took his phone from her and picked the one he liked best. It was her smiling with her eyes squeezed shut in mid giggle because it tickled when he kissed her neck like that. He used the black and white filter.
"We could be models." He said as she looked over his shoulder. He posted it to Instagram and Facebook with the hashtag crazy in love and we could be models. Aaron replied shortly after.
Where are you? When are you coming home? I've been worried crazy.
You don't have to worry about me. Jace takes care of me even if no one approves. Jace read over her shoulder, no secrets between them.
I have nothing against Jace. This time. Dad was such an asshole. I just didn't know what to do. You know how dad gets... I couldn't do anything to stop him. Tell Jace I'm sorry for not stepping in. I'm assuming this is his number.
Yeah. She verified.
"Tell him it's fine. I'm over it." Jace replied.
Jace said not to worry about it.
I have to go. I'm getting lectured about using my phone during class time. Mr. Landon is such a dick. She giggled. It was true. When will you be home?
Idk. She replied. I'll let you know. Love you. She finished. He sent a heart emoji back. Her mother replied not too much later.
Abby, thank god. Are you okay?
"Tell her you're more than okay. Twelve orgasms in less than four days." Abby almost choked on her laughter.
"How about no." She giggled.
I'm fine, mom. I just wanted to check in. So you'd know I was okay. I texted Aaron too.
Okay. I'm giving dad the silent treatment. Aaron told me everything. I'm so sorry he did what he did.
"Didn't your mom tell me to get the hell out of her house and to never come back? And to stay the hell away from her daughter?" Abby remembered that fight. She'd called her mom a bitch. It still made her flinch, to think about that.
"That was before she realized I loved you, and that I wasn't ever going to give up or give in. Now that she knows it's real, me and you, she just wants me to be happy." Abby assured him.
You and Aaron don't need to be sorry. Dad needs to be sorry, and it's not me he or anyone need to apologize to. Abby didn't want to fight, but she would stand up for Jace. Every time.
"Thank you." He whispered. She turned toward him and they kissed. "I really never need to leave this bed as long as you're in it." He said. Her mother texted her back.
Tell Jace I'm sorry- I'm apologizing on behalf of my sometimes asshole husband for his behavior. All in all, I think it was pretty brave and sacrificial of Jace to go in the first place. It couldn't have been easy. Jace laughed, reading the text.
"It was so awful. Awkward and so difficult to judge whether your dad was being real or not. He isn't soulfully transparent like you." Jace admitted.
"I get that from my mom." Abby said, regret of a wistful nature in her voice.
"You want to go home and see her, don't you?" She shrugged. "It's okay, Abby. To want to go home." He said, tucking her hair behind her ear. She smiled. "Tell your mom it's all but forgotten." She did as much. "She's at work right now, right?" He asked. She nodded.
"Yeah. Why?" He sat up and pulled two joints out of his nightstand.
"One last high before you leave me?" He suggested. She playfully slugged him.
"I hate when you say it like that. I always come back to you." They got high. Weed. Cocaine. And then they made love another few times, the cocaine giving them the playful energy. They ended hours later in a sweaty and exhausted tangle of naked limbs. "What time is it?" She asked, not able to move. He glanced at the clock.
"Six fifteen."
"Ugh." She moaned. "It's already so late."
"We should never have given your family my number." He muttered. "Six texts. Two missed calls from the brother." She didn't move. He pulled her close, lifted the blanket over them, and they feel asleep. It was morning when they woke again. Wednesday, she assumed. More texts and more calls. She didn't want to wake Jace, it was only seven fifteen. She put his phone down quietly, not even reading the texts. She fell back asleep with him. At eleven thirty she felt him slip out of bed. She opened one eye, all the energy she had, and watched him put on shorts and leave the room. She closed her eyes again, trying to go back to sleep. It was fitful, and she woke up half an hour later even more exhausted. And she was in a bad mood.
"Abby." Jace said, noticing her stir. She pulled the blanket over her head, shutting the world out. "Abby." He repeated, pulling the blanket down.
"Just let me sleep." She snapped. He wasn't offended, he knew what was up.
"You've been in bed all day." He observed. "Come hang with me. We can go do something." She didn't want to, and his insistence, which in reality wasn't all that insistent, was pissing her off.
"Leave me the fuck alone." She shot back. Her anger shocked him. Abby was so gentle. Even when she would be justified to be otherwise.
"Abby," he began. "It's the coke." He explained. "It makes you moody when your body wants the next fix."
"Just make it stop." She whispered. She felt angry for no reason. Irritated by everything. He fixed her a line on the nightstand. She did it, and waited it out, until the high kicked in. Wednesday turned into Thursday. Thursday into Friday. It was practically snowing in Jace's bedroom. She hadn't showered since Saturday. Almost a week. She'd barely eaten. Her stomach growled; her head throbbed.
"Come on, Abby. You need to get out of bed." He said extending his hand to her. She took it, and he pulled her to her feet. Her pulled her in and kissed her forehead. Thirty-seven text messages and just as many missed calls. From Aaron, her mom, and a new number which she recognized as her dad's.
"Just one more bump." She said. He knew better. This was getting out of hand. Especially if they planned to party this weekend.
"Shower first." He suggested. He handed her a towel and she wrapped it around herself as she walked to the bathroom. Scrubbing her head with shampoo was beyond satisfying. She'd never let it go this far. But all she wanted was another high. Just one more before she had to face the world. She was depressed again, the constant sadness enveloping her in darkness, and she didn't even know why. She brushed her teeth and went back to Jace's room. He wasn't there. She put on lotion and slid into one of his t-shirts and clean underwear. She combed her hair, wondering where he'd gone off to. After waiting around for what seemed like eternity, but was merely ten minutes, she went to his nightstand. She knew where he kept his stash. She helped herself to another line, and then one more when it didn't kick in quite fast enough. She walked out of the room to find Jace.
"Hey, guys. Know where Jace is?" She asked.
"He had to meet Mikey." One of the guys said. "Said he'd be back in an hour. That was like twenty minutes ago." She nodded. She sat next to him. "What are we watching?" He could smell her coconut shampoo. Her berry lotion. She wore panties that hinted at her ass and a t-shirt, oblivious to how much she was flashing. He put his arm around her as she leaned back against the couch. Dave motioned for him to stop, to leave Abby alone. But the guy didn't listen. Abby didn't even notice.
"The new MacGyver." He said, inching close. Dave pulled out his phone to text Jace. The guy could tell she was hopped up on cocaine. He wanted to bring her down a notch. "Do you want a drink?" He asked. He'd partied with them before. He knew how Abby worked.
"Sure." She said with a smile. He got up and went to make her a drink, Dave followed.
"Don't do this, dude." He warned, but all the guy did was grin.
Abby felt herself slipping away, Jace running his fingertips across her thigh. Except his hands felt so rough. She didn't understand why. She was laying on her back in their bed, except it didn't smell like them. And the blankets... theirs were black and white, not green. He kissed her ear as he thrusted his hips on to hers. He was too heavy, too rough. She tried to fight the cloudiness.
"Do you need more blow, angel?" He was being so weird. He never called her angel. And he didn't call it blow. But she did want more. She was in a fog, not the amazing high cocaine had to offer.
"Yes." She said. He went up to his knees and prepared a needle. He saw her confused face.
"Liquid cocaine. Shoot it instead of wrecking your nose." He explained. And she knew it wasn't Jace. She tried to sit up, but he pushed her back down, ripping her shirt off and putting her breast in his mouth. "It'll be okay, baby girl." She felt the needle stab into her skin. She felt the rush through her veins. His fingers and his mouth traveled her body, and she threw up, nearly choking on it. "You piece of shit junkie." He muttered, slapping her. Jace threw the door open. It was all a blur. She was face down, so she didn't see much. And she was trying to hold on to consciousness, but she'd been drugged past what she'd willingly consume. She felt someone take her in their arms and place her in a car. And then she passed out.
His phone went off, but he didn't answer it. He was taking a test in physics. He didn't expect it to be Abby, either. She hadn't answered a single call or text since she had apologized on Tuesday.
"Pick up, Aaron!" Jace screamed to no one, slamming the steering wheel. He wanted to be sick, thinking of what would have happened if he'd been five minutes later getting home. Then he called her mother. She answered on the first ring. He didn't have time to feel guilty, that maybe she'd been waiting by her phone for the last week.
"Abby." She said.
"It's Jace." She heard the panic in his voice.
"What's wrong, Jace." Her heart threatened to explode right from her chest.
"I'm on my way to your house. Someone drugged Abby. I only left the house for an hour, and when I came back-." He cut off. She could hear his breathing and the noises of the road, but he'd stopped talking. She could only imagine what he was about to say. "I'm bringing her where she'll be safe." He said instead.
"I'm at work." She replied. "But I'll be there as soon as I can." She rushed to her car, begging Abby to be okay. She beat Jace home by minutes. Jennie watched from the door as Jace pulled up like a maniac. He pulled Abby from the car and carried her into the house. She was half covered in vomit, it smelled like alcohol. Jace looked scared. "Should she go to the hospital?" Jennie asked, panic setting in, her finger on 911. Jace looked up at her. He didn't really know. He set her on the couch, her eyes fluttered open.
"Abby." He said loudly. She turned her head towards him. "Open your eyes, sweetheart." He commanded.
"I'm calling 911, Jace."
"Abby, open your eyes." He begged this time. She did. She was breathing okay, maybe a little shallow. Her pulse seemed okay. He took her hand in his, and he cried.
"Mom." Abby whispered. Jennie abandoned her phone.
"Abby." She cried, kneeling next to Jace, in front of her daughter. Abby looked from her mother to Jace and back. She was trying to determine what was real and what wasn't. She thought that everything was probably real if Jace was crying with her mother. "What happened, Abby." Her mother asked, trying to sound less frantic than she felt, wanting Abby to stay calm. Abby's eyes flickered to Jace.
"I'm so sorry I left you there." He whispered. "You were awake, and I knew you were showering and then you were going to get ready to go home, and it was just for an hour." Abby squeezed his hand.
"It's not your fault." She whispered back.
"Can one of you please tell me what happened, I'm begging you." Jennie whispered through tears.
"I woke up." Abby began. "And I felt like shit. I wanted to..." She looked back to Jace and then her mother. She knew they knew. Everyone knew. "I wanted to get high. Jace said no, that I'd feel better if I showered and ate something. So, I showered. But he was gone when I got out. I put on some clothes... and I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. I got high. And then I went to look for Jace." She stopped, looking at him again, the pain in his eyes, the pain in her mother's eyes. "A couple guys were in the living room, and we were just watching TV waiting for Jace, and one of the guys made me a drink. And I think I blacked out for a little bit, because the next thing I remember, I was in a strange bed, and I was trying so hard to stay awake. To get him off me." Abby began to cry. Jennie felt the pit in her stomach grow. "And then I think that's when Jace came in." She said, looking at him for confirmation. Jace nodded.
"Abby, this has to stop. You're going to get hurt, and eventually, die. People prey on girls like you, young and pretty and trusting girls that get involved with drugs." Abby knew her mother was right.
"Abby, I have to go." Jace told her. Abby's face turned to panic.
"No, please don't go." She wailed refusing to let go of his hand. He kissed her cheek and then pulled her hand off his.
"You're safe with your mom." He said. He stood up, and Abby tried to go after him, but her mother held her down on the couch.
"Sweetheart, he's right. You're safe here. Let him go." Jennie tried to block her line of sight, connecting with her eyes.
"I promise you. Both of you. I will kill him." And Jace turned and walked out of the house.
...
"You were almost raped! Drugged and then raped! Why is none of this alarming to you?!" Jennie screamed back while she prepared dinner later that evening. They hadn't told anyone, not Jason or Aaron, and they were due home any minute.
"If I was almost raped-." Abby said, pausing, because the word put her tears near the edge. Flashbacks of the bits and pieces she could remember flooding her brain. The feel of his hands giving her goosebumps and making her nauseous. "Why am I being punished? Why are you mad at me?!" With the atmosphere in the country right now, Jennie knew she was right. It didn't matter if she used drugs, if she walked through that house she stayed in with Jace completely naked, she didn't deserve what happened. It wasn't her fault.
"I'm not punishing you for the other person's actions. I'm begging you to get help. I'm trying to keep you safe from the monsters of this world that prey on girls like you."
"So, you mean Jace. You're trying to keep me from Jace." Abby countered.
"If he surrounds himself with those kinds of monsters, then yes." Jennie wasn't playing semantics. "I'm begging you to go to rehab. We've already found a place for you. Any time yo-." Abby cut her off by stomping up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door behind her. Jennie gave up for the time being. Abby was home, and she was safe. Abby lay in her bed, contemplating the last few months, and trying not to think about how good it would feel to be high right then. She heard her dad and her brother come in, but she didn't want to talk to anyone. Her mother must have told Aaron to let her be for now, because he would have at least checked in with her before dinner. She went on social media to distract herself. She looked at the pictures Jace had posted, one in particular. She didn't remember it being taken, but that wasn't anything new. She didn't recognize herself. That hit her hard. Jace had posted a picture of the two of them from a couple nights ago. It was captioned My girl. And it had a heart next to it. After the heart it read, Forever and Always. She knew it was her, but she didn't recognize herself. Her hair was stringy and long, greasy even. It was ratty almost. She used to be complimented on her shiny dark hair. Her face was pale and thin. Nothing healthy about it. She wore too much makeup. The eye liner especially was dark and thick. Her eye lids hung low; it really was a horrible picture of her. Her eyes were dead. She looked in the mirror. She wondered if she always looked like that or just when she was high. And then the comments.
Tim: Is she high?
Dan: It's Abby Demarco, she's always high.
Kim: Oh, she's more than high, she's fucked up, bad.
Sean: Guys, do we have to do this here?
Tim: She posted it.
Sean: No, Jace did.
Tim: Same thing. She'd like his little puppy dog.
Sean: Tim, mind your own business.
Tim: It's public. She asked for it. I know you are her friend, but it is what it is. She's a junkie.
Kim: Yeah. You can even see the track marks on her arm.
Sean: At least have some respect for Aaron and her parents. They're on here too.
Dan: They already know what she is. Aaron's always getting calls and texts from his parents because they don't know where she is.
She stopped reading, and walked down the stairs, shaken by the realization taking her for a ride. Her family sat at the dining room table. They hadn't even called her down for dinner. Another realization. Her mother saw her first.
"Abby. Are you eating with us?" Her dad and brother looked at their plates, playing with their food. She looked at the food and then her family, one by one. She handed her phone to her mother. She looked at it, her expression one of defeat. Aaron didn't have to look. He'd already seen it. Gotten into yet another fight defending her. Her dad didn't even want to know.
"I don't want to be this person." She said, her voice quivering. "I don't know how it got so out of control." She started to shake. "I can't stop." She said taking a breath. "I need help. I can't do it without help." She started to cry. Her mother rushed over and held her as she fell to the floor.
"Oh, thank god, Abby." She whispered with relief. "It'll be okay. We'll get you help." She rocked her, sitting on the floor while she cried. She looked up at her husband a look of relief on her face. He smiled. This was far from over, but it was a start. Aaron's back was to them, so only his dad could see him lift his head up with a smile, eyes closed.
"Thank fucking god." He said, happiness rushing over him for the first time in months.