CXI. TO BE OR NOT TO BE
21:79 ─❁────────── 31:80
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❝We've taken different paths,
And travelled different roads❞
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"MEMORIA?"
Lucia stared at the glowing floating book with incredulity. Had she actually gone crazy already?
Possibly.
But whatever she was looking at right now, it just could not be real. She refused to believe it was real, as she took off the spectacles she was wearing and was only met by the dark surroundings of the Restricted Section with the only thing illuminating was the lantern beside her. She slowly put it back on, and was blinded by the glow once more.
"Oh, great. Perfectly great!"
Note: She was being sarcastic.
Lucia took off the spectacle: darkness. She put it back on: light.
Something was definitely not adding up, and she could not help but think that it was because of Dumbledore's spectacles. She would be blind — she think she already was — to think that it was not because of these spectacles on her nose.
It was almost odd, she had to admit.
Was she supposed to understand what it should be used for with only this as clue? Surely Dumbledore did not overestimate her smarts, because she was starting to think she was really really dumb, for she still could not put the pieces of the puzzle together even with the picture being right in front of her.
What the hell is this thing for?
She hoped that it was not something that was vital in Harry, Ron, and Hermione's journey. If it was, then they would definitely be doomed with a puzzle missing —
Stop thinking of that, Lucia!
Right, sorry.
Lucia scrambled up to her feet, careful not to make any sound as she did so. She felt adrenaline rushing through her veins as she stared at the glowing and floating journal of her father with MEMORIA engraved on it so prominently, which made her wonder whether it was there this whole time or not.
She took back the part she said she was not oblivious and was only dumb, because she certainly now both.
She wanted to touch it.
No, what if it's dangerous?
But it's glowing? Is that not a good thing?
Glowing does not mean it's good, you wanker!
Well, would I not be wasting my time if I just stare at it? Come on... just a little touch?
No!
Yes.
Listen to me, will you? I'm your best option in surviving this war?
Since when? I have been surviving up until now because of those weird thoughts I have. The times when I listen to you, conscious, all I feel is sadness.
Well, I —
Lucia flailed her arms around, as if trying to get rid of the thought in her mind. It was disrupting her decision making, which was whether or not she should touch it.
She really wanted to touch it.
Perhaps that was the mad part of her mind, but the more Lucia stared at it, the more she felt the need to touch it. It was as though a voice was calling out for her, urging her forward to touch it and satisfy the curiosity that was swallowing her up so irritatingly.
Curiosity killed the cat, Lucia. Remember that...
"I should... NO! But... NO!" It was as though the devil and angel on her shoulders were fighting with one another just for her to make the proper decision. One was Bao Bao, and the other was Crookshanks.
Crookshanks was telling her to just touch it. But Bao Bao was telling her to not to.
Needless to say, she was a bit torn.
Keyword: A bit.
She walked back and forth ponderingly, pricking her fingers continuously with her nails. Curiosity killed the cat... Curiosity killed the cat... Curiosity killed the cat...
Curiosity killed the cat!
But satisfaction brought it back.
Damn it!
Lucia wheeled around at the book, immediately making a beeline toward it and let out a huff.
"Please don't kill me, Dad," was all she could utter, before she felt her skin laying contact on the leather-bound journal.
Nothing happened.
"Well that's anti-clima —" But her words were short-lived, as the book glowed lighter and lighter, and before Lucia could even comprehend it, the book opened and was flipped through paged and pages until it stopped.
Lucia blinked.
"That's not what I expected, but good enough," she said, taking a step forward to see what it had led her to as the light began dimming slightly.
To my Melati,
If you read, then that would mean that I failed to live until you reached eighteen year of age, which is pretty depressing now that I think about it as I write this. But that is not the point, the point is that you have been given my journal. It is a pretty important thing to me, became the first thing that I could talk to freely and without fear. To think now it is yours to keep makes me a bit sad...
Needless to say, if you read this, then that will mean that you are desperate and in need of answers. I hope whatever I have ready for you can help ease your mind.
I love you, Melati, my dear Lucia. And I also know that what you are about to see could make you feel either emotions: Disappointment or ecstasy. Either way, I understand.
"Disappointment or ecstasy?" Somehow that made her nervous to find out.
The words on the page faded into a new paragraph. She read it meticulously.
To reach what your heart desires, you must first understand what La Voglia means. But if you are here now, then that means you have capture the essence of La Voglia.
Listen to me carefully, Melati,
"I kind of don't want to..."
Lay the tip of your wand — mahogany, right? I hope I got it right, because that will mean that that old bat failed me for no reason and that I am a gifted Se —
Anyway, as I was saying, lay the tip of your wand on the book and repeat after me: "Memoria,"
Lucia took a sharp breath as she pointed her wand at the book: "Memoria,"
For a flicker of a second, Lucia almost believe that nothing was going to happen and it was just mind playing tricks with her again, making it out to be a hoax — but she was gravely wrong.
The pages of the diary began to blow violently as though caught in a high wind, stopping halfway through the month of December of 1971. Before Lucia could say anything, before she could even hang her mouth open at this, she felt her body trembled slightly as her surroundings began to fade into blinding gold; wherever she looked, all she was met by was gold. Soon enough, she felt her body slowly tilting forward, as if threatening to fall when a small window opening was cut through the 'ground' she was standing on; the window was widening, she felt her body being suck into the window, and she was pitched headfirst through it.
Lucia wanted to scream out as much as she could for help, wanting to use the hoarse voice of hers, but nothing could be let out as before she knew it, the fall halted and her feet slowly hit sold ground. She stood, shaking, as blurred shapes around her came suddenly into focus.
She had no idea where she was. This dark, low-ceilinged, dungeon-like room was somewhere she was certain she had never stepped foot in, yet she could find herself slowly putting two and two together as she caught the emerald light that filled the dark room, making it look as if it was inhabitant by a bunch of regal peo —
Wait, regal?
Immediately, she processed her surroundings more properly, propping the spectacles on her nose; she could see emerald and silver being the common theme of the room as black leather couches filled the specious room and a fireplace with green fire caught her eyes as on top of it was a portrait of a grumpy old man with an emerald locket around his neck. This was...
"Slytherin Dungeon?
And she seemed to be right, as she wheeled around, she was immediately met by an extended partway which caused her to glimpse the inhabitant of the great Black Lake so clearly.
She was awestruck. Slytherin Dungeon had such thing hiding in their common room?
"No wonder they act all high and mighty..." Well, they act all high and mighty because they were —
"Okay, yeah, I know," said Lucia to herself, huffing in annoyance. But still, she could practically see Sir. Squid swooshing —
Wait, how was she here again?
The door suddenly burst open and panic began to consume Lucia, who looked down to her Gryffindor robes that had the prominent colour scarlet, completely different than the neutral colour of green and silver that surrounded her. Before she could even find a place to hide, a regal group of Slytherins, all of whom looked to be just slightly younger than her, filed pass her and to the leather couch in front of the mantelpiece.
The air she had been encasing in her lungs were let out once they passed her, and her shoulders slumped. They looked as though they did not notice her mere presence, which was quite questionable to say the least.
"Scared them, didn't we?" one of them laughed, pouring a glass of what seems to be water in the goblet.
"Did you see their faces? Potter, I mean,"
"Severus can't be serious, right? About befriending that Mudblood?"
"Who are we talking about?" a new voice entered the scene, completely catching Lucia off-guard.
Lucia took a look around to see whom it was, only to be met by a rather pretty boy who may or may not seemed familiar to her; he had wavy platinum blond hair, his eyes were sharp hazel that was as cold as winter, and possessed a define yet soft facial features —
Lucia gasped.
"Dad?"
She instantly clamped a hand over her mouth at her mistake. Oh, now she done it...
She thought.
But the group of them did not look up. Lucia made a quick conclusion that this was only the crazy part of her imagination, but it also felt surreal at the same time. Regardless, she didn't think she should have a problem in talking once in a while, for it didn't look as though they could hear or see her in general.
Nice.
Lucia took a few steps forward. This was the first time she had seen her father — albeit, he was a bit younger than her, but he was still there and alive. Kind of, anyway.
It was odder than anything before, she could not stop her heavy heart from ramming against her chest as she took in every single part of him; from his hair... to his eyes... to his confident stance... This was her dad that she had never gotten the chance to meet. This was the person she had heard so much about before and for once, she had actually got to meet him, albeit not in the circumstances that was ideal, but she still got to meet him.
She made to touch him, however all she could feel was coldness as her hand went through him.
Ah, Lucia thought. It now make sense, this was all just her imagination — or better yet, her father's memories...
She stood idly beside him as he sat on the leather armchair, his stance and composure was incredibly different than the one she was told and frankly, knew of. This Florian DiFiore had a smile, yet his gaze was cold.
Eerily, it almost reminded her of herself.
"Nice of you to join us, Florian!" said a boy with a short dark hair, a mischievous grin painted on his lips. "We were just talking about Evans, that mudblood you know?"
"The one that Snape's friends with?" Florian's face contorted lightly. "What did you do this time, Rodolphus?"
Ro...dol...phus?
Lucia snapped her head at the boy she stared at prior. That's Rodolphus?!
Lucia found herself staggering back slight and thought that she would fall back against the armchair if it weren't for the fact that she just slipped right through it.
"Maybe this is how Sir. Nick feels like..." Lucia said to herself.
"Me? I did no such thing!" scoffed Rodolphus, incredibly insulted.
Florian looked at Rodolphus deadpanning.
"Look, I just watched it happened and laugh —"
"And people think I'm mean," Florian rolled his eyes.
"You are incredibly mean! I just laugh, you go out of your way insulting people!"
"I point out the obvious!"
"You told Severus to wash his hair the first thing you saw him," said Rodolphus, and Florian snorted.
Lucia gaped at the youthful version of her father.
"He did need some washing, didn't he?" he scoffed.
"Florian!"
"Look, can you just tell me what you did to..." Florian trailed, hoping for someone to fill in on who this person as.
"Lily Evans," said a passing Lucius Malfoy, as he read his book.
"Tell me what you did to Lily Evans, will you?"
"I told you it was not me!" stressed Rodolphus, defending himself. "Sure, I wished I was the one who did it, but I wasn't!"
"Then who was it?" Florian asked, slowly growing irritated.
"It's that guy — who was it, Lucius?"
Lucius sighed. "Craggy,"
"Craggy, yeah!"
"Who?" Florian looked at them, perplexed. "There's a guy in our school name Craggy? Since when?" he asked, uncertain if they were just joking around.
"Seven years and you still don't know the name of the people here," tutted Rodolphus, and Florian rolled his eyes, flicking his best friend's forehead.
"And am I supposed to be apologetic about it?"
"Well, your wife isn't going to respect you then," said Rodolphus.
Florian cocked a brow and for a flicker of a second, Lucia saw scowl on his face. "Like I'm going to marry anyone. I made it perfectly clear to my parents that I'm not going to whoever they will be picking, unlike you and Lucius,"
"It's our duty though!" said Rodolphus. "We have to keep our blood alive before mudbloods taints our world!"
"And I'm marrying Narcissa because we both desire to," said Lucius, offended.
"Yes, don't bring me and Lucius into this," scoffed Narcissa Black, smacking Florian's head lightly.
"Oh, whatever. You guys can do whatever you want, but I want to end my family bloodline," said Florian flatly, causing Rodolphus, Lucius, and Narcissa to cock their eyes.
Lucia stood frozen beside the image of her youthful father, tongue-tied and not knowing how to react to that. So, if he had not met her mother, things would have been really different...
"Don't say that," said Narcissa quietly. "You can't actually be serious..."
"Oh, but I am,"
"Stop it, you sound like my bloodtraitor cousin!"
"Which one?" Florian questioned, but it was evident to Lucia that he knew who she was implying to and was only asking to rile Narcissa a bit.
"Sirius Black of course," flared Narcissa. "Our family is already in shambles because of... of..."
"Andromeda~" sang Rodolphus. They all turned to him pointedly. "What? I was trying to diffuse the tension!"
"Oh, what a perfect pair you and my older sister are!" said the irritated Narcissa, before she snapped her head back to Florian. "By the way, Professor Slughorn wants to see you," she added, before storming away.
"You both really should not have said that," said Lucius, shaking his head in disappointment.
"Oh, loosen up, Malfoy," said Rodolphus cheekily. "Brother-in-laws need to stick together,"
"How regretful..." he rolled his eyes.
"You would have think that she's okay about it," said Florian, leaning back against the armchair with his legs crossed, apathy was the only thing recognisable on his face that almost felt chilling to Lucia, who could only watch this foreign figure called her father.
"It's only been a year since she became a bloodtraitor," said Rodolphus without any sorts of filter. He almost looked as though he was enjoying the shift of atmosphere around them. "Bella told me that she's going to do it,"
"Do it?" Florian and Lucius looked at Rodolphus questionably.
Rodolphus hummed noddingly, as he played around with his quill between his fingers. "She's going to lay all her loyalty to the Dark Lord, I mean,"
Lucius dropped his book, and Florian's eye's widened.
"What?"
"Does Narcissa know?"
"Possibly," said Rodolphus, shrugging. "But you know, I am going to support my fiancée,"
"Of course you would, but what would become of you?" Florian questioned, seemingly shock for once by this revelation.
"Isn't that obvious?" Rodolphus gazed at the both of them with a crazed expression. "I'm going to join too,"
Before Lucia properly process the scene, it slowly faded into light and soon she found herself in the middle of the corridor, in front of what seemed to be the Potion classroom in the dungeons. A faint sound of footsteps filled her eardrums, causing her to wheel around in curiosity, only to be met by Florian, who walked toward the classroom with a deep gaze of animosity that was completely masked by that eerie smile of his.
Lucia was quick to take a step aside as Florian approached the door to the classroom. She watched as he took a sharp breath before he mustered out the sweetest and kindest of smile, and he knock on the door.
"Professor," he said, voice rather mellow.
"Florian? Is that you, my boy? Come in, come in!" The door opened, and Lucia was instantly greeted by a much younger version of Professor Slughorn — though, she didn't think she could see much difference from the younger one to the one that she already knew of.
She followed behind Florian into the vapor-filled Potion classroom where seemingly a class was in session. Why did he call for him when he was clearly busy?
Then again, like Dumbledore, Slughorn had always been a weird man.
She looked around the room and nothing much changed except for the students that looked to be a bunch of first years that belonged from the House of Slytherin and Gryffindor from the uniform they were wearing; Lucia couldn't help but recognise a few, like the stringy, pallid-looking boy with long oily black hair. That was no doubt Severus bloody Snape.
The Half-Blood Prince himself.
"Yeah, there's no way I'm going to let that down," It was just too much of ridiculous nickname.
He was sitting in the front row of the classroom beside a beautiful girl with thick, dark red hair that fell to her shoulders, and almond-shaped, bright green eyes that almost seem so distinctively like...
"Harry?" Lucia could not help but wonder, was this his mother?
Lily Evans?
That's right, she thought. Snape and Lily were friends, weren't they?
Although she faintly remembered hearing that Lily Evans always possessed a kind gaze, this Lily Evans looked more irritated than kind. Well, it wasn't as though Lucia could blame her though, seeing as small balls of parchment was continuously being thrown at her and the younger version of Snape's way.
"Bugger off, Potter!" hissed Lily.
Lucia quirked a brow. Potter?
She trailed her eyes over Lily's shoulder and a boy whom much reminded her of Harry came into sight. Like Harry, he shared prominent facial features as well a physical features such as his untidy jet black hair, yet at the same time, unlike Harry, he had hazel eyes and didn't seem to be wearing glasses. Perhaps this was the time before he did?
Either way, Lucia could instantly comprehend the air around him that told her enough that he had been cared for lovingly and even adored from the moment he was born.
This was no doubt James Potter.
"I wasn't targeting you! I was targeting Snivellus!"
Lucia snorted. Snivellus?
"Just ignore him," glared Snape toward James, who glared back.
"Thank you again, Florian. I cannot thank you enough!" Slughorn's voice brought her back to her first task at hand.
Right, this was supposed to be about her father.
"It's not a problem, Professor," said Florian smilingly, as he grasp a small vial of potion in his hand. "I'll make sure the thesis will be given to you before the end of the school year,"
"There's no need to rush," howled Slughorn, "Give me it anytime,"
"I'll take my leave then," said Florian, nodding in respect of the Professor and exited out of the room. Lucia quickly follow suit before he could shut the door on her, and soon she found herself back in the corridors of the dungeon.
Florian stood in the middle of it, clutching a leather-bound book that she could barely recognise as his journal in one hand, whilst the other was the potion.
"Can we really not change fate?" said Florian quietly, and for the first time since she arrived here, she saw an expression of anguish in his eyes.
Unfortunately, no.
However, his anguish ceased as a faint sound of footsteps could be heard echoing against the walls of the dungeon. Before Lucia could even comprehend, before she could even take a moment to recognise the voice, the figure walked through her.
"Oi, DiFiore!"
Florian, annoyed, whirled around. "I see you're out and about, Craggy. Craggy, right?"
"I heard what you did — have you no shame?!"
"What?" Florian cocked a brow, tilting his head as he swiftly pocketed the small vial of potion inside the pocket of his vest, taking a step forward. "Should I be ashamed for telling the whole school the truth? I'm surprised, actually, that you found that's me,"
"The dignity of my family —"
"Was already non-existent the moment you forced yourself on girls. Even purebloods don't resort into such things, we value our people," said Florian, voice bored as he proceeded toward Craggy in a daunting manner until Craggy's back hit the cold wall. "Also, heard that you were trying to go after an eleven year-old girl?"
Lucia's breath hitched, hand trembling slightly, legs buckling. She had never seen it on him before — it was unreal to see such dangerous gaze looking down on someone; Florian's eyes sharpened immensely from its kind ones, dull without any light of life in his eyes, as he corner the taller boy with a smile that seemed as though he could kill.
It was almost terrifying to see him like that.
But that's the person he had always been.
"Why should we care? She's just a mudblood anyway!" bellowed Craggy.
"Ah," said Florian with mockingly mellow voice, as slowly his left hand trailed up to Craggy's throat, eyes not faltering. "Mudblood or not, they're still children, Craggy. You have no shame, so I'll just spare you from the chides,"
Lucia let out soft gasp, as Florian gripped his hand around Craggy's throat, bluffing to choke him.
"I advise you to not mess around with children, Craggy, for I'll make sure you'll never live to meet yours," said Florian, smiling. "And quite frankly, I think I would be doing them a favour by doing that,"
"You're mad," said Craggy, whose eyes were quivering.
"I may look more like my father, I take after my mother the most," said Florian simply, before he let go of Craggy, who fell to his knees, legs jelly.
Florian patted his head. "Also, if you were to tell anyone about this, I'll make sure today will be the last day we'll ever hear from your family, got that?"
Craggy nodded vigorously. Florian sighed in amusement.
"Well," he said, "Goodbye,"
Lucia was lost for words, her heart was beating loud enough to the point that she could hear it through her eardrums, as she held a hand against her heart.
"Oh, he's crazy," was all Lucia could utter, before she began to catch up to Florian's fading figure when another figure ran through her and slung his arm around Florian's neck.
"You did it again, you unhinged bastard!" Rodolphus howled with laughter. "Can't believe Craggy..."
"Yes, well, believe it," said Florian, not bothering to shrug Rodolphus' arms off of him. "You telling me about what he's been doing to that poor girl just remind me that at any time, he's going to take a step forward and cross that line,"
"Ah, bless your righteous soul," said Rodolphus, shaking his head. "To think people see me more of the crazy person in our friendship when you're here!"
"That's your fault," mused Florian, the edge of his lips twitching.
"I reckon the Dark Lord would definitely appreciate your contribution," grinned Rodolphus.
"You're actually serious about that? Going down that path?" said Florian, suddenly halting in motion, causing Rodolphus to do the same. He had an unreadable look painted his face.
He hummed. "Yeah. It'll be fun, you know"
"How so?" Florian furrowed his eyes.
"Well, you'll be upholding your family's honour and as well as making sure that the Wizarding world is cleansed from mudbloods," said Rodolphus simply, as if that settled the matter. "Oh, c'mon, you know you want to..."
"There'll involve killing," deadpanned Florian. "By 'cleansing', you mean killing,"
"Well, how else are we supposed to get rid of all of them?"
Florian didn't say anything, as he stood in silence, face without emotion.
Rodolphus sighed and stopped in front of his best friend. "Listen, out of all of us, I'm definitely aware that you have the most bloodlust toward people in general. And that's kind of fi —"
"Don't make it weird, Rodolphus,"
"I wasn't trying to!"
Florian rolled his eyes.
"Well, you said so yourself that you'll have nothing to do except taking over the DiFiore family's name, and it's not like your parents would want you to do those weird hobby of yours,"
"Planting flowers and making stuff is not a weird hobby," Florian retort. "I find that those type of activities often cleanse my soul every time I were to find myself disappointing my parents,"
"Like you always do?
Florian nodded, not even arguing. "Like I always do,"
"Are you really not planning to marry after we leave?"
"Marriage is not everything, and I don't think someone like me deserves a family. Also, who would ever want me as their husband and father?" mused Florian. "I would be a nightmare to them," he joked.
"You'll be eating your words one day, DiFiore," scoffed Rodolphus.
"And you'll kill me one day," joked Florian.
"I would never!" gasped Rodolphus, aghast. "You're the only one that really tolerate me, you know? Why would I ever kill you for?"
"Dunno..." Though, his words came out faint and ominous, as if there was another meaning to it as he stared at his best friend with a faltering smile.
"Do you actually believe that old bat? She's wrong you know. That teacup is wrong, just like how you're wrong about you not ever going to fall in love with someone." Rodolphus commented.
"No one can attract my attention enough to the point that I would leave everything behind for them, Rodolphus," said Florian, deadpanning. "That's just not the way of the world. Ghastly things like love isn't actually real,"
"That is true... but I'm still betting on you falling in love with someone,"
"With what exactly will you be betting on with?" sneered Florian.
"I dunno yet, but I'll be coming back to you for the prize, Florian. I'll make sure of it,"
"You're insufferable," Florian said, as he continued in his motion. Rodolphus follow suit after him.
"It's what best friend do!"
"Unfortunately you are my best friend, aren't you?" said Florian.
Rodolphus grinned, slinging his arm around Florian. "And that'll never change."
As she observed the scene with great attention, Lucia could not help but question everything she knew of her father. Was his life with her mother all just a lie then? Did he just lie to her all his life then?
Questions were still racing through her mind, and she have yet to figure out why led Rodolphus to do what he did. How come such tight bond between two people could lead to two completely different path, only for them to reunite in the most destructive way they could?