"Hi, Lilliana," my mother says from the other side of the phone. "Hi, mom."
"I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?" I scoff and roll my eyes, she's always been unaware of how much of a bad mother she is, but Jesus Christ, she's been more and more clueless about her failures as a mother, recently.
"You cannot be serious, right now. . . Are you seriously wondering why I'm avoiding you? I don't know . . . It may have something to do with the fact that you trapped me in a marriage and now you're forcing me to have a child. What the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of mother does that."
I hear her sigh, and I'm tempted to just end the call, but I want to know what excuse she's going to use. "Lilliana, I don't understand why you're so upset. I was in trouble and this was the only way I could get out of it. Baby girl, you know I always have your best interest in mind. You must know that."
"I'm going to go, mom. Bye." Without waiting for a response, I end the call.
Delani Campbell is a soulless woman. I knew it before, but she has stopped hiding it with false kindness now.
I and Alena sit on the couch talking about her return home to Minnesota. "I don't think I'm going to be going back home for probably another year, to be honest. Great-grandma Milena is sure she's going to die soon, but no one believes her. She's got too much life left in her. After the heart attack, she had last year, we all thought she was going to, but she's made a great recovery. I'm in no rush either, seen as I rented out my place for another year."
I nod and watch as her focus is grabbed by Santi, who is talking to Daniel and Frankie. "Can one of you just make the first move? All the stolen glances and longing gazes are going to make me break out in hives."
Alena slaps my arm playfully, "Shush, no one is giving each other longing gazes." I roll my eyes, knowing that every time they're in the same room, the tension skyrockets. She scans him, spending a couple more seconds on his arms and tattoos.
No one is giving each other long gazes, my ass.
Elijah gets home and joins the conversation Daniel and Santi are having, after taking off his jacket.
When they're done, they approach the living room, "Lilliana. We have an appointment in twenty minutes. Are you ready?" To be honest, I completely forgot, but I nod. "Yes," I reply, "I just need to get my bag."
His blank expression doesn't let me know if he believes me or not, so I go to my room to get my bag and coat.
When I get back to the living room, Daniel and Alena are talking on the sofa, and instinctively, I look for Santi, who is sitting by the kitchen island his eyes inspecting the duo. I approach him silently
"Will you just ask her out, instead of staring at her like a stalker?" In the past year that he has been my bodyguard, he and Daniel have become the closest thing to friends I have, and although he's still a bit uptight, I'm comfortable speaking to him freely.
"Lilliana, we've talked about this." I sigh, "But there's obviously something there, or you wouldn't be looking at Daniel like you're trying to kill him. Just ask her out, when you drop her off." I don't give him the chance to argue, before turning around to go get my phone from my seat.
I let Alena know that Santi will be dropping her off, and she gives me a knowing look and shakes her head in disapproval, but the small smile she fails to hide gives away her eagerness.
In less than five minutes they leave, and shortly after, so do I, Elijah and Daniel.
I'm laying on the examination bed after the embryos, that were collected and fertilized after my last appointment, have been transferred inside me.
The reality of the situation has finally dawned on me. I glance at my husband and he's checking his phone.
This was a mistake. I have a bad feeling, a terrible feeling about this.
My mouth starts to feel dry, my hand begins to shake and my vision starts to go black, for a moment. I try to reel in all my emotions, refusing to have a panic attack right now.
So, as soon as the doctor walks out, I start counting backwards in my head.
"Ninety-seven. . . Ninety-four . . . Ninety-one. . ." My eyes remain close, as I try to regulate my heart rate.
"Lili," Elijah's voice grabs my attention, and right after I feel his hand on mine, and his thumb rubbing circles on the back of it. "We'll make this work. We're friends and we'll co-parent in the best way we can. No matter what happens, you'll be okay."
I find myself nodding at his words.
Since our truce over two weeks ago, Elijah and I have been good. When neither of us is busy with work, we find ourselves spending time together. He says it's essential for us to do so, for our relationship and our incoming parenthood.
I've found out he's a very reserved person, even more than I am, and he has a serious staring problem. He stares constantly, in a way that sometimes makes me think I'm doing something wrong.
I knock lightly on Elijah's door. After waiting a couple of seconds without receiving an answer, I try again. When he doesn't answer, again, I start to walk back downstairs but walk into somebody.
"Hey, is everything okay?" My eyes meet Elijah's and my brain goes blank for a moment when I feel his hands on my waist. I move away from him and clear my throat, "Yes. I just wanted to talk, if you aren't busy."
He agrees without hesitation and gestures for me to walk into his room.
I open the door and sit at the edge of the bed, as he moves towards the closet to get clothes, seeing as he just finished a video conference. "What did you want to talk about?"
"I just wanted to thank you for how understanding and patient you've been with me, about this situation . . ." I finally look at him, "I haven't been compliant - more like hostile - and you've been nothing but supportive with this baby thing. So thank you."
I'm not sure what triggered my gratitude, but he deserves it.
"It's okay, Lilliana. I wasn't as amiable at the start, which set this unconventional relationship to an even more difficult start, especially when you were trying to make this work." I offer him a smile, and for a short moment, we simply stare at each other.
When my stomach quietly growls, I break our eye contact and quickly get up. "Sorry, about that. Well, I'll see you in the morning." As I start to leave his room, he stops me, "We should go out to eat. We haven't been out much since we've been here, so this would be a good opportunity to do so."
"Yes, that would be great. I'll just go get ready. I'll be downstairs in fifteen minutes."
I look for an appropriate outfit as quickly as I can and after discarding almost everything I own, I settle on a two-piece set.
After completing my outfit, I meet my husband by the door, where he's waiting in different clothes from before.
"You look beautiful." Heat spreads to my cheek, at his compliment and I can't help but smile at him. "Thank you. You look great, too."
He opens the door and we leave. For the first time, Santi and Daniel aren't following us, and I can't help but feel at ease.
He parks in front of a beautiful restaurant by the sea.
A waitress leads us to the rooftop to our table. The view is nothing less than breathtaking. The sun is starting to set, so the sky is a mixture of orange, blue and pink and the soft music playing creates a calming atmosphere.
Elijah and I talk about his job and the hotels he's opening here, and we talk about my work, too.
"Lilliana? Is that you?" A voice interrupts our conversation, and my body immediately goes tense.
The person behind me moves so he's standing in front of me. "Shit, it is you."
"Hey, Zak."
My ex-boyfriend stands in front of me, looking at me in confusion, while my husband glares at him. "You disappeared. Out of nowhere. I was so confused when I woke up to nothing but a text telling me that you weren't coming back."
I'm lost for words and although I know that he wants an answer, I don't know what to say.
"Say something, damn it." His voice gets louder, which makes Elijah stand up and approach him, "Watch how you speak to her." For the first time, Zak acknowledges Elijah's presence.
I watch as Zak's eyes scan Elijah and land on his hand, particularly his wedding band. Automatically, his eyes go to mine and find my rings before I can hide them from him. "You're married? To him? What the fuck is going on?" He pushes Elijah away from him and moves toward me. "What the fuck is this, Lilliana?" He grabs my hand forcefully, making me stand up in the process.
His hand on my wrist tightens, and for the first time in my life, I'm scared of Zak. His body is moved away from mine by Elijah, who then slams him against a wall. "Don't you ever touch my wife, again." His voice is poisonous and his eyes are filled with rage.
I notice someone approach us, "Zak? Baby, what's happening?" Emma goes to his rescue, as soon as Elijah lets go of his hold on him, after slamming his head against the brick wall. "What did you do?" Her eyes widen as she notices me. "Ana?"
She looks from me to Zak to Elijah and before another attack on me can start, I walk back inside and to the bathroom.
I spend five minutes recomposing myself and looking at my bruising wrist in disbelief. The door opens and Emma appears. Her face is empty of any emotions as she looks at me.
"The day you left was the happiest day of my life, you know?" She starts, "I was finally free of you, and your sense of superiority. Everything about our friendship had to be about Lilliana." My heart physically aches at her words, knowing this is how she felt. "When you left, I finally didn't have your shadow behind me everywhere I went, and I finally didn't have to hide my relationship with Zak. Did you know that for the last year of your relationship, while you were planning your future with him, he was cheating on you with me?" With a last hateful look, she looks at herself in the mirror, applies some gloss and leaves.
My tears begin to fall uncontrollably, and I let them. Her words echo in my mind on repeat, until strong arms wrap around me. The scent of Elijah's cologne engulfs me, and I let him console me, without protest. I sob in his arms, as the betrayal of the two people I cared the most about dawns me.
He doesn't say anything. He just holds me.