onika
I woke up with a terrible headache. It was probably from crying.
Bey wasn't in bed with me anymore. She was probably with Imani. I'm grateful for her. If I would've taken a nap in the middle of the morning before her, I probably would've woken up to my house on fire.
I started to call Bey because I didn't feel like getting up and looking for her. She answered fast like she always does. "Hello?"
"Where are you?"
"Downstairs, I'm coming up now."
"Okay, bye." I hung up because I could hear her coming up the stairs.
She came into the room and sat down next to where I was laying.
"Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah, I have a little bit of a headache now but I'm fine."
"What was wrong? Why were you crying?"
"Nothing, I'll handle it."
I honestly didn't know what to do. Talking to him and trusting him didn't work. Taking away his stuff didn't work. Whooping him didn't work.
It's not like I can send him away, he's about to graduate in a little bit over a month. There would be no point.
Nothing else I'm trying at this point is working.
"You'll handle what?"
I moved and laid my head down in her lap. We were just in opposite positions earlier today. "Nothing."
I'm honestly embarrassed. My son made me cry.
I should've had this under control. I don't know, I'm scared to do something too bad. When I was younger, my parents punished me in bad ways that I didn't learn from.
I'm just trying to be better and actually help him and this situation.
"Onika the way you were crying, it couldn't be nothing. Please just tell me so I can help you."
"It's okay, don't worry about it."
She started playing with my hair. "I'm just trying to be there for you. I'm worried."
"You have nothing to be worried about. It's okay."
"Can I braid your hair or am I going to pull something out if I do?"
"You're asking me if this is my real hair?"
"My mom told me not to ask women about their hair because it's disrespectful. I want to braid your hair but I don't want you to get mad if I pull something out."
"You can braid my hair, I have microlinks so no it's not all my hair."
"Microlinks?"
"These little tips with hair are connected to my hair. It's like extensions."
"How do you have time to get your hair done?" She started doing my hair, it felt good.
"Where there's a will there's a way." I really didn't feel like talking.
"We should go on a date, we haven't been on one in a while. I was us to actually go out, not just a date at my house."
"Okay."
"Have you ever been to a hotpot restaurant?"
"No and I'm not sure I want to, that seems more like Robyn's thing." I don't smoke.
"It's not what you're thinking of. I think you'll like it. We can go next weekend if you're not busy."
"Let's go tomorrow." I needed something to make me happy.
"I have another family dinner. Come with me to the gym tomorrow."
I sat up even though she was in the middle of braiding my hair. "You think I'm fat?"
"What? When did I say that?"
"You implied it. Why do you want me to go to the gym?"
"You're not fat at all. I just haven't been to the actual gym in a while because I'm always with you. So I want you to come with me so I won't die."
"Oh." I laid back down in her lap and she went back to braiding.
"Your body is beautiful. You're nowhere near fat. Even if you were on the bigger side, which you're not, I would still like you. That's not what I like you for."
"But you do like my body, right?"
"Of course." She stopped braiding my hair for a second to grab my butt and I laughed. "I love your grown woman body. All of it."
Before I could say anything, I could hear Imani crying and running up the stairs. She knocked on my room door, she won't go anywhere without knocking now because of Amir. She even knocked on my car door.
I told her she could come in and she ran in crying. She climbed into the bed and started crying on my legs.
"What's wrong baby?" I picked her up and moved her to my stomach.
She was talking but none of it made sense. "Calm down and breathe. Please."
After a couple minutes her crying calmed down. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I woke up all alone, BeyBey left me!"
This isn't the first time she's done this. If she doesn't know where I am, she'll start crying.
I'm being stressed out by both my kids. In Imani's case, it's not her fault at all. I already scheduled an appointment for her with a children's psychologist.
"I'm sorry princess, you were sleeping and I came to check up on your mom. I didn't mean to leave you like that.
"I forgive you but you can't do it again."
"I promise."
Imani put her finger out and they pinky promised. They're so cute.
"Are you hungry?" I didn't realize I was sleeping for as long as I was.
"Can I have chicken nuggets?"
"Okay, give me a second."
"BeyBey can I do mommys hair with you?"
"Oh, no. Let's go make chicken nuggets." If she wants to do hair I'll buy her a mannequin head and a wig. Not my hair.
"Okay!" She jumped off me and ran downstairs. Bey stopped braiding my hair so I could sit up.
I went to the mirror and I had a bunch of small braids in my hair. No parts or anything. I was laying on my back so she really couldn't do much.
"You like it?" Bey came behind me smiling.
"Mhm, it's so cute." I laughed and turned around to peck her lips.
"I know you're lying but thank you. A couple months ago you wouldn't lie to be nice."
I remember she used to always ask me to lie and say I missed her. I never did.
"Pre-Bey Onika and post-Bey Onika are two different people."
She didn't say anything, she just smiled and kissed me.
Imani came running back into the room. "Mommy I'm starving!"
"Sorry. What was I thinking keeping you waiting?"
"I know right." She raised her hands and I picked her up. She's getting a little too big for me to just be carrying her all the time.
We went downstairs. Bey was messing with Imani and tapping on her shoulder and acting like it wasn't her.
I put Imani down and went to make her food. I'm glad she asked for something easy, I didn't feel like cooking anything.
Bey kept Imani occupied while they were cooking, which I was also grateful for.
I was putting the chicken nuggets on Imanis plate when a sudden noise made me jump and drop a chicken nugget on the floor.
I put my hand over my chest. It was just Bey closing the fridge.
"Sorry, I should've made my presence known."
"You're fine." I picked the chicken nugget up and threw it in the trash.
"Why are you so jumpy?"
"I'm not. Imani come eat!"
Imani came into the kitchen and I gave her the plate. "Thank you mommy." She left to go sit at the dining table.
"Onika seriously. What happened?"
"Noth-"
"Don't say it's nothing because it's not. Talk to me. Let me help."
"Amir yelled at me and I guess it brought up bad memories because of how much he's like his dad. That's it."
"He yelled at you? That's why you were crying?"
I nodded my head.
Amir came into the kitchen, probably for a Gatorade. Bey stopped him before he could walk past us.
"Go put your shoes on."
"My shoes? For what?"
"Bey-" I didn't want her to do anything, I was going to handle it somehow.
"Yes, go put your shoes on. Now."
He was confused but he left the kitchen and went back upstairs.
"Bey don't do anything."
She smiled, "I'm just going to talk to him. That's all."
She heard him coming back downstairs and left the kitchen. A couple seconds later I heard the front door open and close.
While they were gone, I decided to do some laundry.
I was in my room folding laundry when Amir walked in. They were gone for over an hour. He was sweating like crazy, his shirt was completely wet.
"I'm sorry for being disrespectful."
"Okay." I know he had more to say, I was going to let him finish.
"You're my mom and you've sacrificed so much for me, I shouldn't ever yell at you. I deserve whatever you decide to do to punish me. I'm going to leave Bryson alone too. I'm going to do better and I'm really sorry."
"Okay, go to your room." I couldn't even look at him right now. I would talk to him later.
He scurried out of the room just as Bey was walking in. The scared look on his face when he looked at her almost made me laugh.
"Bey what did you do?" She couldn't have done that just by talking.
"I already told you, we talked." She smiled again and sat down next to my pile of folded clothes.
"Hm okay."
"Who are you wearing these for? Because it's certainly not me. I've never seen them." She held up a thong and spun it around her pointer finger.
"Look at you being jealous." It was cute.
"I'm not jealous, that's your thing. I was just wondering."
"They're for when I wear leggings. That pair is just a little more thong-y."
"Oh." She tried to be slick and put it in her pocket but I saw.
I laughed, she's so weird for that. "Girl give me my underwear back."
"Sous-vêtement? Je ne sais pas ce que vous dites. Je suis une vieille française."
That made me laugh harder. "Excuse me?" I didn't even know she could speak another language besides english.
"I said you're beautiful."
"No you didn't. Give me my underwear." I held my hand out.
She sighed, took them out her pocket and handed them to me. "I didn't want freshly clean ones anyways. I like it when they stank a little."
"What? You're so nasty."
"Can I get the ones you have on now?" She pulled me in between her legs by my hips.
"I actually have your boxers on still." I haven't changed since I got home, I was head to toe in her clothes.
"Onika you have a problem. Klepto."
"You gave them to me this time, it doesn't count."
"If I go into that closet, how much of my own clothes will I see in there."
"Zero." I smiled because I knew I was lying.
"You're about to make me bankrupt. Do you know how expensive sweatsuits are these days? Hoodies alone are like $80."
"You'll be alright. Worst case scenario, they take your house and you'll be forced to live here where I'll have access to all your clothes."
"One day you'll wake up and all my clothes will be gone. Watch."
"Okay, and watch what I do."
She playfully frowned, "You love threatening me."
"It turns you on."
She laughed and laid her head on my boobs. "Just a little."
I picked her head up. "Give me a kiss."
"Let me call Kelly first and make sure she's okay. It'll just take a second."
"Okay." I moved back so she could call Kelly.
While she was doing that, I put my clothes away so we could get comfortable.
After she was done we didn't do anything but kiss. We kissed until Imani came in. She really is a cock block.
We watched movies with her for most of the day. They were on spring break so we got to lay around and do nothing all day.
——
this chapter is so cute to me 😭
Bey?
Onika?
Imani? Onika scheduling an appointment with a child psychologist?
Bey "talking" some sense into Amir?
Amir apologizing? Is he actually going to change his behavior?
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