TW: Body insecurities, mention of bruises and scars
Pov y/n
I wake up, feeling a warm body pressed against mine and smile.
When I open my eyes, I see Wanda's peaceful face nuzzled into my neck. Her breathing is calm which tells me she is still sleeping. I can feel her breath tingle slightly against my neck and her arm is securely placed over my hip to keep me close.
It feels great to wake up next to her and I wish I could wake up like this forever. She moves a little and some of her hair strains fall into her face.
Careful, to not wake her, I brush them out of her face. A small smile curls on her lips at my touch and makes my heart melt.
Being apart from her over the last few weeks, I realized how important she is to me and how much I missed her. We don't know each other that long but she became really important to me. She makes me feel comfortable and safe. Similar to mom but also different, in a different way. As soon as I look into her green eyes, I relax and a lot of times I get lost in them. They give me a feeling of belonging and being home.
Sometimes it scares me how much I feel for Wanda but only because it's all so new. And now that she's officially my girlfriend, I know for sure that she has feelings for me as well.
Girlfriend...just thinking about it makes my heart flutter a bit and I smile to myself. I am very lucky.
Lost in my thoughts I almost don't notice her shifting next to me. She preps herself up on her arms and her face hovers over mine. Her eyes still tired from the sleep but an adorable smile on her lips.
"Good morning." She greets me with her raspy morning voice that sends warm shivers down my body. I never really heard her voice like this but it's honestly pretty attractive.
"Good morning." I reply, lifting my hand to gently trace my fingers over her face, along her cheeks up to her forehead and down her nose, under her eyes, until I lay my hand on her cheek. My eyes moving from my finger to her green orbs that sparkle and her nose scrunches up. It's adorable and I can't help but to smile and lean my head towards her to place a soft kiss on her nose.
Her eyes stay locked with mine the whole time and I see adoration in them.
"You're so sweet and gentle with me. And I love it." She whispers, her words only meant for me.
"That's because you mean so much to me and I want you to know that." I explain, equally as quiet.
Her eyes light up even more and instead of an answer, she connects out lips in a sweet, simple kiss. Her warm, soft lips against mine.
I feel her lowering herself onto me and place one hand on her back to keep her in place. Her now free hands wrap around my neck and she starts to play with my hair.
When the kiss ends, she looks into my eyes and for some reason I get a fuzzy feeling inside of me at her intense gaze.
We eventually leave our moment and she rolls off me to use my bathroom. I get up and look around my room. I have the free will to decide what I want to wear today, which I hadn't in the Red Room.
Walking to my closet, I think about what I want to wear. Maybe just simple jeans and a t-shirt.
I pull the cloths out of my closet and quickly get dressed. When I step out of the closet, Wanda comes out from the bathroom and her hair looks less messy. I didn't mind her messy hair, it was kinda cute honestly.
She smiles at me and sits on the bed. I shortly smile at her before I turn back around to look into the mirror, I haven't done this in a long time.
My throat tightens a little as I look at myself in the mirror.
So that's what everyone has been seeing when they looked at me?
My face is bruised, especially my cheeks and my nose. A reminder how often I got hit. There's a small cut over one of my eyebrows that I don't remember from where it's from.
I try to take a deep breath but it's a little shaky. My eyes wander down my face to my upper body. There are minor bruises and wounds on my arms as well.
One finger traces over the spot on my upper arm where a small scar forms from when they tasered me. The hand wanders down my shirt until I get to the hem of it. Slowly I pull it up a little, exposing my stomach. I notice the slight abs that started to grow but my eyes stick to the new scar where I got hit by the knife. Even though Yelena took care of it, it still scared.
A tear drops down my cheek and my hand shivers when it brushes over the scar.
I look terrible. My whole face is covered in bruises and the rest of my body isn't looking much better. The scars look ugly and remind me of the time there. How can people even look at me? How can Wanda wanna be close to me?
Another tear rolls down my cheek, followed by another one. My thoughts start to spiral and every second I look at the bruises and scars, I start to dislike it more and more.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Wanda asks softly, coming up to me. She watches me through the mirror. I try to form a sentence but my throat feels too closed off for that.
"Deep breaths, okay?" She gently turns me around to look at me and my eyes meet hers that are filled with worry. Wanda takes a deep breath, holds it a few seconds and lets it out again. The next time I breathe with her, still shaking a little. But looking into her eyes and breathing with her helps to calm me down and I feel like I can talk again, the tears also almost gone.
"Wanna tell me what happened?" Wanda asks again, searching my eyes for an answer.
I turn around to face the mirror and connect my eyes with hers again.
"I haven't seen my face in a while and seeing it like this...it looks ugly. And so do my arms...and my stomach." I whisper, pulling my shirt up again and showing her the scar. Her expression grows a little sad.
"You're not ugly, y/n. You are beautiful. I know it's hard and connected to memories but they are just bruises and they will go away. Soon it's gonna be just like before. And even if it wouldn't I still like you and I love to look at your face, no matter how much it changed or not. And I don't think you look ugly at all, I promise." Wanda softly replies, holding my gaze and stepping a bit closer.
"But it looks so bad and different to my usual face." I state.
"It doesn't look bad. Sure, it shows the mistreatment you had to suffer through but it doesn't make you less beautiful. And you will see, it will all heal." She assures me.
I nod, accepting that but my eyes drop to my stomach again.
"But some scars won't go away." I whisper again, feeling the tears build up in my eyes again.
"Everyone has scars, there's nothing bad about that. Please don't think that I wouldn't like you if you have scars. I don't mind them, they are a part of you that you can't change. Please, don't get insecure about them." She says, sounding honest. I swallow, my eyes still glued to my stomach.
"Don't they scare you or anything? They really don't look pretty." My voice even more quiet now, a tear running down my cheek again.
"No, sunshine. No. They don't scare or put me off at all. I love you just the way you are and your whole body. Nothing about it would ever scare me." She assures me, her hands grazing over my sides, slowly over my shirt down to my stomach where my own hand lies.
Goosebumps form under her touch and a warmth spreads through my body.
Her hands rest on the upper side of my stomach and she makes eye contact with me, silently asking for consent. I nod.
Her hands slowly move more upwards until they reach the scare. One hand takes mine in hers while the other gently traces over the scar on my stomach, careful so she doesn't hurt me.
Her fingers leave a trail of warmth on my skin and it feels great how her fingers graze over my body. She looks concentrated, her eyes on my stomach through the mirror and following her fingers. They circle the scar a few more times and somehow her touch relaxes me and I lean back a little, feeling her behind me. Our intertwined hands wrap around my upper body and she hugs me while continuing her route on my stomach.
I feel relieve shooting through my body, her actions showing me that she really isn't put off by the scar and what connects to it. She accepts me the way I am and that means incredibly much to me in this moment. I don't have to hide from her and can be fully myself and honest, knowing she won't run from me. Her hand comes to a rest and lays on my stomach, her eyes meeting mine again and she smiles softly, placing a kiss on my cheek.
"See, nothing that scares me about it. You are just as perfect as you were before." She states with a genuine smile and I slowly turn around to face her. Her hand slides from my stomach to my back and she lets go of my other hand to tug some hair behind my ear.
"Thank you." I say quietly, holding our eye contact.
"Of course, I just hope you know at least a bit more how much I appreciate you and I mean everything about you." She answers and I nod.
"I do and I can't tell you how much this means to me right now. And please know that the same goes for you, there is nothing I don't love about you and for me you are perfect." I tell her, watching her blush in the slightest.
"Thank you." She bites her lip a little, playing with the hair between her fingers.
"Did you really mean it?" I ask after a while of getting lost in her eyes.
"What?" She asks back, a tiny bit confused. Now I'm the one getting nervous and my hands that are behind her back start to fiddle.
"You said you love me just the way I am...did you mean that? Do you love me?" I ask shyly, scared I understood it wrong and to get turned off.
Her eyes fill with slight surprise and I'm not sure what that means. She swallows and shortly looks away before she looks back at me and nods a little bit.
"Yes, I meant it. It kinda just slipped in the moment and I didn't even realize it. Not because it's not true but because I wanted to wait for a better moment to tell you." She rambles a little bit, blushing.
My heart fills with happiness and excitement.
"You don't have to say it back though, I know it's pretty early on." She adds, chewing on her lip and looking down.
"Doesn't matter if it's early or not, as long as that's how you feel. And I feel the same. I love you, Wanda." I answer, a little surprised myself but if I'm being honest, deep down inside me I already knew I loved her.
"And I don't just say that because you said it. I really mean it."
Her eyes still looking down, so I softly lift her chin with my hand and our eyes meet. I'm surprised to see tears in her eyes and worry fills my heart but then she smiles.
"I love you, y/n." She says a little louder, a wide smile on her face and tears of joy in her eyes.
"I love you, Wanda." I reply, watching her eyes light up. Her lips tremble a little and I lean in and kiss her, feeling the tremble on my own lips. But they stop withing seconds and she kisses me back, pulling me even closer. Well, this took a little bit a different turn than I thought.
A/n: There are the three magic words :D
Also to everyone: You are perfect just as you are and you are enough without having to change anything <3
Thanks for reading and love to you all <3