"I swear he's perfect, tall, dark, and handsome I mean, what more could I possibly ask for!?" My sister Rosalie asks dreamily.
"I don't know Rose." I sigh for the umpteenth time today. She was starting to give me a headache, a massive one at that.
"Oh, and don't get me started on how kind and respectful he is. I mean, I've heard that the knights can be quite mean and emotionless when they come back from war, but not my Anthony. Seriously..."
Rosalie had been going on and on about her husband returning home after the five year war. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for her, but if I had to sit through another minute of Rose talking about her dream man, I was going to choke her. I hated to sound like I was raining on her parade but hearing her talk about her husband had me feeling down.
It was like Rose had gotten everything she had ever dreamt about. In the eyes of my mother and father, Rose was perfect, the golden child while I, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. Every single one of her accomplishments was met with praise while I received criticism.
"Why can't you be more like your sister?"
"Why aren't you doing well in math?"
"Why do you dress like that?"
"Why is your form all messy?"
All comments from my parents when comparing my twin sister and me. It could be exhausting and oftentimes hurtful, but after twenty-three years of hearing the same things over again, I was used to it. It hurt a lot, don't get me wrong but what else could I do? I couldn't compete when Rosalie was always the star of the show. She was an airhead or, in better terms, an arrogant, narcissistic princess that pretty much got everything she wanted.
I don't mean to complain but it was true, and it sucked. From the time I was born I've always had it harder than my sister. Hell, we were identical twins, literally looked the exact same, and I had been told more times than I could count that my sister was prettier than me. The only difference was that I had a beauty mark on my cheek, and I was, at the slightest a bit thicker than my sister.
I wish I had her confidence and charisma but I didn't. I was awkward, a bit more on the quiet and timid side. I found myself sometimes looking up to Rosalie because of my own indifferences towards myself. I never felt good enough for my parents and even for my sister.
"Ivy, are you even listening to me?" Rosalie practically screeches. I pop my head up that was recently propped on my hand.
"Huh? Yes, of course I was." I lie and watch as my sister's face contorts into one of irritation.
"You were not. I asked if you were excited about seeing your husband again for the first time in five years." She says while sitting beside me to sip on her tea.
"Oh, not really. I don't really know the guy to be that excited." I respond.
Yet it was true. The last time I had seen my husband was on our wedding day. I remember it like it was yesterday, the first time I had seen Juko. We were both eighteen and nervous as hell to get married. I could see the apprehension in his eyes when we both said our I do's. I knew he didn't want to be there just as much as I did.
I had no choice in the matter, and neither did he.
My father was best friends with the King of the North and wanted nothing more than to marry me off to a knight. All the while, my sister herself was married off to a prince that was helping us fight in the war.
Juko was the same height as me then, with piercing gray eyes and short black hair with a dimple on his cheek. I only noticed his dimple because when he spoke or said certain words, it would pop out. He wasn't much of a smiler, from what I could tell. He seemed closed off and a bit sad on our wedding day, and I wasn't sure why. Nevertheless, I still thought he was absolutely adorable and just as awkward as me.
It made me feel a little bit better once we were married off to each other. That night after hearing him talk very little about himself, I decided I might possibly have a crush on him. I gave him my virginity to consummate the marriage in hopes that we could possibly make this work. That was until I woke up the very next day and learned he was sent off to war.
It made me sad and somewhat angry, but I knew it wasn't his fault. Most men that joined the army to become a knight or a soldier were either poor or had nothing to lose.
Rose pursed her lips while staring down at me. I could see the judgment written all over her face. "Well, that's a shame. I've heard so much about him from the King of the North, like how he was promoted to war general and took out hundreds of dragons all on his own. You should be excited that you were married off to someone powerful and rich. Though he is not a prince."
"I don't care that he's rich. I've only met him once."
"Ugh, as if. I would die if daddy married me off to some commoner. At least now he has money to allow you to continue to live lavishly. I would've felt bad for you having to live life as a lower classed citizen." Rose says snottily.
I groan internally, then turn my body to face my sister, "when are you leaving again?"
"Daddy wanted to have lunch with Anthony privately before I go. I guess he's giving the prince a stern talking before our departure."
"Great, I can't wait to see you go," I mumble under my breath, yet she hears my sour comment.
Rose scoffs. "Like mom and dad would want you spending another day under their roof. You have been nothing but a disappointment. You should be sad I'm leaving and cannot protect you."
I don't respond. Instead, I let the comment roll over my shoulders. As I said, I've been criticized all my life. Her words were nothing new to me.
"Anyway, since you're lucky enough to be married off a War General, mom wants me to take you shopping. We have to get you new dresses and clothes, lingerie and such."
"W-what?" I frown, looking down at my outfit. "What's wrong with my clothes?"
"They're ugly, and I'm about a thousand percent sure you don't want the War General looking at other women when you look like this. Trust me; they will find another woman regardless of your marriage."
Rose was partially correct, I did tend to dress a bit down but it wasn't like I was looking for attention. Men constantly gawked at Rosalie like she was the prettiest woman to ever walk the earth. She loved the compliments and stares. It fueled her ego.
"Fine, when are we leaving?"
"Now. Let's go."
~~~
"Give me a spin."
I spin, giving my mother and sister a three-sixty of the dress I was wearing. It was beautiful, no doubt, form-fitting and laces around the hem. I stare at their expressions through the mirror while biting my bottom lip. "This'll do." My mother nods her head in approval.
I sigh in relief, stepping down from the pedestal. "Can I go change back into my clothes now?" I ask.
"No, we still have dresses for you to try on." Mother says.
"Mom, we've been in here for three hours already. I'm pretty sure I've tried on half the store by now." I whine, I was getting tired, and my feet were hurting from standing in heels all day. "Can I at least try on some jeans and shirts too?"
"What? No, you will not. Only poor people wear jeans." Rose scoffs.
"You've already ordered over two hundred dresses and a hundred pairs of lingerie sets for me. We haven't even gotten to my nightwear yet. I'm tired and hungry."
Mother glares at me through the mirror, her eyes like piercing daggers ready to stab me at a moments notice. "Chin up, shoulders back. It would help if you stopped with all this whining nonsense. I'm sure your dear husband won't like that. Plus, I'm getting old. I want grandchildren soon." She narrows her eyes. "From the both of you."
I didn't want kids. I didn't even like kids. I was always so awkward and uncomfortable around them, especially toddlers with their judgy little eyes.
"Don't worry, mom, I'll give you several grandchildren," Rose says.
"Right." I cough, looking away from the two before returning to the dressing room. I change into another dress and come back out to stand on the pedestal, giving them a quick twirl.
"After this, I'm done."
"Fine, we'll take this dress too." My mother says, waving over an exhausted looking employee. I can't help but send her an empathic smile as I return to the dressing room and change back into my regular attire. A shirt with jeans and some sneakers.
When my mother sees me coming out carrying the ten other dresses she had picked out for me, she rolls her eyes.
"Come on. I'll have the clothes sent back home. Let's get you both something to eat."
I agree, handing the clothes off to the employee as we make our way out of the dress shop. It was expensive, probably the most expensive shop in the kingdom that only the rich and elites go to.
Once we exit the shop, we cross the road and head down the street towards my mothers' favorite restaurant. Once we're settled into our respective spots, I immediately take a look at the menu. My stomach growls as my mother and sister make conversation.
"Are you ladies ready to order?" Our waitress asks, finally coming back to our table.
"Yes, I'll have the Caesar salad and so will Rose. What are you having Ivy?" My mother asks.
I ignore her stare as I go to speak, "I'll have the lamb chop-"
"Are you sure that's what you want?" Rose asks, looking me up and down. "I mean, you have gained quite a bit of weight in such a short amount of time."
Embarrassment flushes through my body as I drop my menu. "There's nothing wrong with having a bit of weight. It's not like I'm obese."
"She's right Ivy. Why not try the salad? I wouldn't want you bursting through the seams of your brand-new dresses." My mother scolds.
The waitress glanced down at me with an empathetic look like she feels bad for me, but it only makes me feel worse about myself. "Right. I'll have what they're having." I force a smile onto my face.
"Very well, I'll be out shortly with those salads." The woman says before collecting the menus.
"Ivy, you need to stop stuffing yourself so much, it's quite unattractive and I'm sure the War General won't like that." Mother says. "You need to be more like your sister, fit and healthy. Ready to bear children and bring them into this world."
"Ivy could never be anything like me, mother. We both know this. She's not feminine enough, dainty enough, she reads too many books and stuffs her face with food." Rose laughs haughtily. "I, on the other hand had every man from all four corners of the world ready to marry me. I was able to choose a prince, while daddy had to convince the War General's mother to marry Ivy. It's a shame; really, I feel bad for a man like that."
And she's right. I do feel ashamed, no man in the kingdom wanted to marry me. The only reason I was married off to the War General was because my father paid off his mother. I sigh, my shoulders dropping in defeat. I would never be good enough for my family, no matter how hard I tried.
"I'm so proud of you Rose. You're giving this family everything it deserves. Our family name will be written in the stars one day. I can see it now." Mother smiles.
"You just reminded me, Anthony and I wanted to throw a royal ball. Invite our friends and family from all across the country to attend. It's going to be magnificent!"
"Oh my, that's great, dear. When do you plan to have it?"
"Well, we both want to get settled into our new home before we throw the ball, so I say in two months?"
"Perfect this is going to be grand, a party that everyone will talk about for centuries to come."
I hated royal balls. Just the thought of those rich judgmental eyes staring at you, watching your every move just so they can gossip to their friends and family about you. It was pretty sickening to think about it. The sixteen kingdoms around the country had better things to do other than dance at some ball. But I guess when you're rich you have the privilege of never having to worry about silly things like war.
"I'm so excited! My very first royal ball thrown by me, who would've thought!?" Rose claps excitedly.
Eventually, I close out their conversation about balls and more criticism about me. I didn't want to be here, and yet I didn't want to go home and have to deal with the War General tomorrow. There was too much going on at once. It was starting to make me feel sick and anxious. Yet part of me was excited to finally get away from my family. I don't think I could stand to be in their presence any longer without combusting. All of them drove me insane. Nothing good or nice ever came from their mouths when it came to me. I was like their punching bag. Whenever they were sad, happy, or mad it was still like they took everything out on me.
I sigh, slumping in my chair, knowing well that my mother was going to eventually chastise me about my poor posture.
Eventually, after we all finished lunch we went back home where Rosalie's prince waited for her to be taken back to his kingdom.
After that I locked myself in my room. I didn't want to be bothered with my mother or father. I knew I was going to have to deal with them when the War General came. As I said, as much as I dreaded the thought of being taken away from my home, I found myself sighing in relief not to have to see them so often.