Kim Taehyung felt as if he'd just stepped off a precipice as if he was falling.. falling with no idea of how hard the jolt might be when he reached the bottom of this abyss.
But then Taehyung's lips closed on hiss and he could only hope that with him his landing would be safe, secure.
He wrapped Jungkook's arms around his neck and let his body cleave to the length of his.
Everything about him felt good, right... So right he wanted to drop to the carpet right here, right now, with Jungkook in his arms and explore in-depth just how good it was.
But he didn't want their first time to be so elemental - Not while he still held on to a pebble of rational thought in his head.
Taehyung broke their kiss, closing his eyes momentarily at the tiny sensation of loss that swirled through at the lack of contact, then, taking his hand, he led Jungkook to his bedroom.
Taehyung turned the sheets down earlier and had left only a stained-glass lamp turned on at his bedside, a muted purple-jewel-like colour cast a gentle, enticing glow about the room. Jungkook closed the door, cocooning them in a private space.
A space, somewhere they could explore the intensity of the attraction between them.
The sheer need that arose every time they'd been together.
A need they could plunder and delight in, which could chase away the shadows that lingered in their hearts.
Jungkook reached for Taehyung's shirt, tugging it free of his jeans and forcing his shaking fingers to undo each button. Inch by inch he revealed the smooth expanse of his chest, nipples that were as rigid as his own, his taut belly and the fine smattering of hair that arrowed behind the waistband of his jeans.
He pushed the shirt off his shoulders, leaving his upper torso bare to his gaze, he looked his fill, tracing the lines of his physique with fingers that became more sure of their touch the lower they travelled.
Taehyung gasped as Jungkook brushed his hand over the erection trapped behind his zipper. He smiled a little, enjoying the pure knowledge that he was this way for him - that he wanted Jungkook as much as he wanted him.
The anticipation was both a delight and a torment.
They would be wonderful together, Taehyung knew that as instinctively as he knew the sun would rise each day.
But just how wonderful?
Would they blaze like a fiery borealis comet through the starry night sky, or would they simmer and burn out painfully slowly?
Jungkook's hands fumbled at Taehyung's belt then at his zipper, carefully releasing the pressure against the older's arousal and easing his jeans down his long legs. In the soft lighting, he caught a glimpse of a scar running the length of Taehyung's thigh and he felt a moment's sorrow for the injury that had caused such a permanent reminder.
But Jungkook didn't linger long over the thought, he rose and skimmed his hands up the outside of his legs and then guided them in toward the straining fabric of his boxer briefs. He grazed his short, rounded nails over the knitted cotton, relishing the groan Taehyung emitted.
Taehyung's hands shot into Jungkook's arms, stilling his actions, "Don't let me spoil this by losing control too soon," he growled, dragging Jungkook's hands to his hips, "Besides, it's my turn now."
He drifted one finger through his tiny waist and over the swell of Jungkook's round ass, the younger's skin shimmered in a scatter of goosebumps.
Anticipation thrilled through Jungkook's body, drawing into a tight knot deep in his belly as he traced the outside edge of his boxers. For a split second, that tiniest fraction of time, he lifted both hands to slide the shirt over Jungkook's shoulders and peel it away, exposing the latter to his concentrated gaze.
Jungkook didn't have time to think as Taehyung flipped the buttons of his jeans undone and cupped the weight of his asscheeks in one hand as the other thumbs a stroke over a tight nub of nipple over and over.
"May I kiss you there?" Taehyung asked his voice nothing more than a rasp of emotion.
"Yes," Jungkook sighed.
It had been so long since he'd felt like this - a man desired, wanted, needed.
As Taehyung's lips pressed against Jungkook's flesh he moaned in delight, his fingers threaded through the short strands of his hair, holding him to his, loving every second of the texture of his tongue, the reverence of his lips, the sheer joy of his touch. His broad, long-fingered hands splayed across Jungkook's rib cage, making the younger feel cherished, special.
Emotion threatened to overwhelm Jungkook and he dragged several rapid breaths into his aching lungs.
Nothing would ruin this night.
Nothing.
Feelings both hadn't experienced in so long, if ever.
This was what was right for them.
Tonight, and hopefully for a long time to come.
When Taehyung undid Jungkook's jeans, he helped him peel them down his legs and kicked them aside. They were on equal terms, each dressed only in their briefs. He wasn't sure, later, who reached for whom first, but the difference was only a matter of seconds and they were both naked.
Jungkook let his heated gaze drift over Taehyung's body, over the torso he'd already come to love the feel of and hoped soon to enjoy the taste of, then lower, to the hardened proof of his desire for him.
He then slid his fingers around his hard length, relishing the hot silken feel of his cock as Taehyung caught his lower lip between his teeth, his sharp indrawn breaths and hiss in response to his touch felt like a reward.
"Protection," he ground out, "Let me get my jeans."
A small laugh bubbled from Jungkook's throat, "You came prepared?"
Taehyung gave him a firm squeeze and was rewarded with a rumble of pleasure.
"Let's just say, after last week's kiss I thought it might happen," Taehyung let a teasing smirk play around his lips, "I was impressed to discover that Astro Inn does think of everything. Now, I want to return the favour."
Taehyung's reference to their advertising catchphrase and their determination to make their guests would have everything they needed during a stay, made Jungkook flush with heat.
Was Taehyung saying that he was going to make sure he gave everything he needed?
A mix of desire, maybe something else, flooded into Jungkook's body.
It felt good to be wanted on this level.
So very good.
Taehyung flipped the covers wide open on the bed and lay down on the crisp linens, Jungkook's skin sensitised to the texture of the cotton against his. He couldn't remember the last time he'd lain naked upon the sheets like this.
It felt wonderful.
Taehyung made Jungkook feel wonderful.
Taehyung had already sheathed himself and lowered himself to the bed beside him. He trailed one hand from Jungkook's hips up over his belly, lifting a leg over his shoulder, then trailed a finger to the swell of his ass and back up his thigh.
Each time letting his fingers drift closer to his twitching cock, Jungkook squirmed against the sheets, willing his hand closer, striving to feel Taehyung's touch where his body most wanted it.
When his fingers trailed over his sensitive shaft and then dipped between the soft folds of his scrotum and perineum, he strained against him and was rewarded when a faint smile crossed his face. He trailed a little further then applied steady circular pressure to the bundle of flesh at his ass, his rosette that already throbbed with an urgent need.
He can see Jungkook was leaking for him.
Leaking and wanting.
Taehyung leaned over, his lips fusing once more to Jungkook's, drawing from his lower lip into his mouth, suckling on the soft flesh, his tongue imitating the movement of his fingers across that oh-so-sensitive rosette.
Jungkook started to shake when he felt Taehyung add pressure while he circled his entrance, anchoring him to his warmth, his strength as a finger started to penetrate, then another, until three were being used to thrust in and out, easing to widen his tight entrance.
"I feel you tightening, Jungkook. Cum. No need to be shy," Taehyung whispered.
As if Jungkook was waiting for his cue, shards of feeling speared through his skin, his climax hitting his body sharp, keening sound escaped Jungkook's throat as he rode the waves of pleasure.
Pleasure so powerful that all thought abandoned him, leaving only deep sensation.
Jungkook's heartbeat slowly returned to normal and he became aware of the moisture on his cheeks.
Did he weep when he'd orgasmed?
Jungkook never had that kind of reaction before, he'd never felt quite like... that before.
In light of his private admission, it was the most natural thing in the world to ease his body over Taehyung's, to straddle his hips and to begin to lavish upon his body some of the attention he'd delivered.
To show Taehyung, even though he wasn't yet brave enough to tell him exactly how he made Jungkook feel. He trembled at Jungkook's touch, he then positioned his swollen cock at his entrance, to lower him slowly on his thick length.
A deep aftershock of pleasure rippled through Jungkook as he took him into his very soul.
"You okay?" Taehyung asked, his voice deep and steady.
"You have no idea," Jungkook said, shifting forward so he could smile at him, reassure him that there was no sorrow in the tears he'd unknowingly spent.
He cupped Taehyung's face with his hand and stroked away his concern and at that second, he knew - He'd fallen in love with Kim Taehyung.
It wasn't the pleasure he'd brought him, although that was so welcome he wondered if he could ever settle for less, but it was his care, his consideration.
Everything about him made Jungkook warm inside.
A precious sensation after months of being in the cold.
Jungkook rocked deeply and felt his answering thrust, again and again, until both were lost in a blur of stimulation.
He was conscious only of the man beneath and the rising tide of pleasure that swelled from that point where they joined.
And then the ecstasy peaked, for him and Taehyung, sending them cascading into a rolling eruption of fiery bliss, so sweet he thought he might pass out from it.
Jungkook collapsed on Taehyung's chest, their bodies now both slick with perspiration, their breathing laboured, their hearts beating frantically, yet as one.
As he gave himself over to the darkness, one thought filtered through his shattered mind - The emptiness that Taehyung had talked about earlier, that had resonated so strongly with him, was gone.
Jungkook must have slept for half an hour or so, when he awoke his body still hummed with the residue of satisfaction. Taehyung stirred, realizing that at some stage during Jungkook's slumber the older had carefully moved him from being on top of him to his side.
Taehyung must have left the bed briefly to dispense the condom, as he shifted slightly, he adjusted the strong curve of one arm around Jungkook to pull more tightly - The ultimate security of his embrace.
This close, he was aware of every aspect of himself.
Of the shadow of his unshaven cheeks, of the way that the serious lines that usually bracketed his mouth and furrowed his brow during the day. Lines that spoke of pain and unhappiness had now relaxed into smoothness.
Even the scent of Taehyung, a mixture of warm skin and spice and essential dominant male, sent Jungkook's senses into a spiral of heightened consciousness as if he's attuned to him and him alone.
Jungkook wanted to know him better, deeper, more.
He already had a handle on what foods and drinks he enjoyed over the past week he'd talked a bit about growing up but to him all that was peripheral.
Suddenly, it was vital to know what made him laugh, what drove him each day.
What made him happiest.
What made him sad.
Jungkook already knew losing his wife had plunged him into a dark place, his hand drifted along his thigh, feeling again the ridge of tissue that still looked newly healed.
And he noticed through the fading light cast by the bedside lamp, that it wasn't his only scar. A neat line, still bearing traces of stitch marks, crossed his abdomen. Smaller, faint strikes that he hadn't noticed before marked his forehead and another one on his jaw, was more noticeable that no stubble grew there.
"Do I pass muster?" Taehyung asked, his voice a deep rumble by Jungkook's ear.
"You're beautiful," the younger said simply.
The younger felt Taehyung shake his head, "Not beautiful, Jungkook. Never that."
"I beg to differ," Jungkook propped himself up on one elbow. He lightly ran his hand over the scars on his abdomen and leg, "These are just marks that show the path of your journey so far."
"They're reminders of the selfish and arrogant man I used to be. That's all."
"I don't know that man, but I'm getting to know the one you are now and I like him. A whole lot."
Taehyung lifted a hand and cupped the younger's face, "That's good because I like you. A whole lot, too."
Jungkook smiled at him, feeling his heart swell at his words, "Tell me about your injuries, Taehyung. Tell me about this one," he bent his head to tenderly press a kiss against the scar below his rib cage.
"Lacerated spleen. It won't be a problem if I'm ever in another wreck," he said drily, although Jungkook sensed the underlying anger in his words, "I don't have it anymore."
"And this?" he kissed the scar on his jaw.
"My mobile, oddly enough. Funny thing when your car is forced to stop rapidly. You and everything else in it doesn't," He shifted his hand to rest on his thigh, "And this was a compound fracture of my femur. An infection, post-surgery, ensured my stay in hospital was longer than either I or the medical staff were happy with."
"Not a good patient?"
"Not patient, period," Taehyung said bluntly, "Too much time to think about what choices I should have made that day, rather than the ones I did. I learned a lot about myself while I was in the hospital, and I didn't like most of it. Eventually, I decided that if I had survived, I had to change. I will never again put my work or myself before my family."
There was a steely undertone to Taehyung's voice now that resonated with him. He knew exactly how he felt
Nothing and no one would get between Jungkook and his son.
"I'm sorry you had to go through all that," Jungkook whispered, stroking his hand across Taehyung's belly with featherlight movements.
His recovery must have been tough.
The fact that he hadn't given up on it was a strong measure of the man.
How far he'd come since that awful day.
~~~
Taehyung lay there as his thoughts churned.
Making love with Jungkook tonight had been a temptation he simply couldn't resist.
He wasn't ready for this, for the feelings that being with Jungkook aroused in him, for wanting Jungkook the way he had—the way he still did.
His feelings for Jungkook went beyond the physical attraction they so clearly shared.
It was something he hadn't anticipated and he had no preselected mechanism to cope with this resurgence of emotions.
He'd thought he'd learned to shut himself down.
To be the quintessential iceman as far as his feelings were concerned, he knew what it was like to go through the wringer.
The sentiment wasn't something he welcomed into his life anymore.
And yet, with Jungkook and with Haru, he'd found an awakening of hope.
A small kernel of a dream he'd once had.
A dream he'd expected to share with Yoona but to which, in light of his role in her death, he'd decided he was no longer entitled.
He still didn't believe he deserved to find happiness, but fate had thrown him a second chance with the possibility that Haru might be his son.
Was it possible that together with Jungkook and Haru?
He could have that chance of a family that he'd thought he'd lost forever?
Could he reach for the happiness he so wanted, yet deep down didn't believe he deserved?
Maybe he could.
He reached down to his jeans on the floor next to the bed, sliding the other condom he'd put in there, just in case, into his hand. Whatever happiness there was to be taken, it began now, here, with Jungkook.
The ice in his veins had begun to thaw, leaving in its wake a hot drumming need to bury himself in Jungkook's softness and welcoming warmth.
He rolled over him, loving the sizzle of sensitivity that sparked between them, skin to skin. He was so responsive, so giving.
This time as they made love, he took his time.
Bringing Jungkook to the crest of a peak, then letting him slowly dip before he allowed him to launch again. His need was strung so tight, that by the time he ripped open the foil packet he'd shoved under the pillow he almost messed up putting the condom on. But finally, he was there, his erection arrowed straight toward Jungkook's body.
Their joining was slow as he fought to prolong every second, his hands holding Jungkook's hips when he would have pushed against him, enveloping him in warm heat.
The pleasurable pain of holding back, of teasing Jungkook as he withdrew only to enter again, slowly, oh, so slowly, took every ounce of concentration he had.
Concentration went flying to the four corners of the room the minute he allowed his body to penetrate Jungkook fully. He closed around him, holding him tight, his arms snaked around his body, pulling him down against him.
And as he began to rock gently within Jungkook he knew they had no beginning, they had no end.
They just had each other at this perfect moment in time.
a/n:
Apologies for the super late update, work has been intense.