*smut warning*
SEBASTIAN
As soon as we enter my apartment, and I close the door and turn around, Mery's lips find mine. I fumbled with keys, nervous, eager to taste her, too, and I'm sure she thinks that I'm an idiot. Currently, her lips are everywhere on my face, and her tongue dances with mine, hot and wet.
God knows for how long I waited for this. I've been alone and lonely for so long that I can't count anymore. Six months. It's been six months since Lucy, yet I feel like it's been six years. Or centuries.
I grab Mery's face, and kiss her hungrily, my tongue caressing hers. My other hand grabs her hip, and I pull her closer to me. Her hair gets in my mouth, but I don't care. I try to push it, and in addition, fondle the soft skin of her cheek.
"Fuck", I curse, when Mery presses her body on my length.
"Sebastian", she pants, "you're a great kisser, damn, I didn't expect that." She moves her hair from her face.
I grin, feeling some kind of confidence pulled by her words. "And what did you expect?"
"Average", the word leaves my mind, while her chest moves up and down. "I expected something average."
Before I can think of anything to say about this, she's kissing me again. I welcome her, lifting her easily with my arms, and she instantly wraps her legs around my waist. I squeeze her butt, and she tilts her head backward, moaning.
Goddamnit, did I miss making a woman moan. Did I miss their curves. Did I miss everything about them.
"Let's see how you fuck, shall we?", Mery asks her expression holding excitement, and amusement.
"Yes, we shall", I agree nervously. Even though I know exactly what to do and how to do it, I'm still nervous. I want to show her that I'm not average. Why do I have this need to prove myself to her?
She is a stranger, I shouldn't care. Right, I shouldn't care.
Mery kisses my upper lip. "Carry me to your bedroom, Sebastian", she whispers between the soft kisses.
And suddenly a memory of Esther leaning in my face, in this very hall appears in my mind. When I thought that she was about to kiss me. What a stupid ass I was then. How could I even think that she would do that when she doesn't let me touch her. Not only me but no one.
Mery's sweet voice snaps me from my memory. "Sebastian?" She kisses my jaw, stretching her lips all around my cheek, and I fight not to moan. Hard. The fact that I haven't had sex for so long makes me want to moan this entire time, without stopping. Each thing Mery does is such a pleasure to me. Each simple thing.
"Mery", I say, forgetting her question.
I turn us around and move from the hall where Esther and I were standing so close to each other.
Leave Esther alone now. Think of Mery, my consciousness says.
Right, leave Esther alone. She probably doesn't think about me like.... ever. Not that it matters. It doesn't.
I open the door of my bedroom, still holding Mery, and as soon we enter it, she jumps on the ground and leaves my grip. I confuse, and walk toward her, closing the approximation between us. She lifts her head, and I think that she is smaller than this, considering that she is wearing heels. Just when I want to push her chest to lay on the bed, she prevents me and pushes me instead, so I fall on the king-sized bed.
Within the second she climbs on me, and I watch her excited to see what she has on her mind. I'll let her have control of this. Control over me. She grabs my shirt and fumbles with the buttons, and just when my hands take them, to help her, she decides differently and rips the shirt, which is followed by a loud sound. I open my mouth, gasping, and I even let out a small moan, when she lowers her head and starts placing kisses all over my chest. I pull in my stomach, and inhale shakily, tilting my head back. I close my eyes, and soon I feel her lips brushing my belt. If she rips this one, too...
Though she doesn't, her nervous and impatient hands pulling it so it opens faster, and without any struggle, she strips me down. She doesn't let any time slip, and she slowly, torturing me, lowers herself to my manhood. Oh, so we are doing this first, okay.
God, do I want this. Do I need this. Yes.
"Mery", I whine, "tell me your real name", I plead.
"Uh-uh." She's kissing my thigh now.
"I don't want to call you by the wrong name while I c-come", I stammer, when she finally kisses me where I need her to.
"I don't mind it", is all she says.
"Damn", I groan, "yes, there." I keep groaning and murmuring incoherent words. I also called her by the name I gave her while I was coming. God, did I come well. Did her mouth sucking me was great.
I watch her as she wipes her mouth, and rises, standing on her knees, her boots hugging them perfectly. "My turn."
"Is that so?" I lift myself and lean on my back, elbows placed behind. "What if I want us to have sex right now?"
"We aren't doing that before you pleasure me, Sebastian", she orders, her voice holding enough power for me to fall on her knees. "I fuck lazily if I don't come before it."
I scoff. "Well, I doubt that."
"Mhm."
"Plus, I can't forgive you for ripping my shirt just like that."
"I was excited!", she squeals. "Plus", she leans in my face, breathing in it, "I'm sure you have more of them. Or you could just go naked to the work. I can bet that your patients would like it if you did that. Even that one that resembles me."
"Well, I doubt she would. She doesn't let me touch her."
Though she did gulp hard when I approached her yesterday, and when I pulled her necklace. Was that because she was uncomfortable or because of something else?
"Do you want to touch her, Sebastian?"
Do I?
"No", I lie.
"Don't lie to me. You do want. Is Mery her name?"
"No", I shake my head. "It's not."
"Pleasure me", she climbs back on me, and kisses my neck, sucking a little too hard. "Think that it's her. I don't mind. Just fuck me. How you would fuck her."
"I don't want to...", a finger pressed on my mouth, shushing me.
"Shut up, I don't have a whole night."
I tilt my head. "Oh, you do. I won't let you leave, Mery."
She rolls her eyes. "Fine then. But let's get down to business."
I kiss her while removing her leather jacket, and letting it fall on the floor. She tits her head backward, giving me more space to see her beautiful and full chest that is moving up and down fast. She's wearing a tank top, and I loose one strap of it, kissing her shoulder. She's still kneeling on the bed, and I pull away from her, taking in her beauty. Her eyes are still closed, and she is panting as if she'd been running for kilometers. Her tank top is engraved in her boobs, probably leaving marks.
"How wet are you?", I find myself asking.
With Lucy, I developed this dirty language, since she used to claim that I was too soft during sex. And looks like that even though I thought I improved it, she found someone else to do that to her. To talk dirty to her. I can't help but wonder did she ask Ethan to do that, too, or was he already doing it without needing her to ask first. I bet he is better than me. No wonder Lucy cheated on me with him.
"So, so wet, Sebastian", Mery whines, and I bite my lip, turned on again. Hell, I haven't stopped being turned on since I first saw her, sitting on the chair in front of me. "Please, do I need to beg?"
"No, honey, you don't. I'll give you what you need. And even more."
"Please", she begged anyway.
"Lay, honey lay." She obeys me and begins to take off her boots. "Leave them", I order.
"Oh, you like 'em", she grins. "Do you like them, I asked?"
"Yes", I breathe out. "I like them." She stretches her leg and touches my forehead with her heel, and I part my lips, letting a moan.
"Do they turn you own, Sebastian?"
Every time she says my name, I feel a sting in my manhood.
"Yes, they do, Mery."
"Good, now please me."
"Gladly."
I try to take off her tank top, only to realize that it is a one-piece and I have to unzip her pants first.
"It's..."
"Shhh", I shush her. "Let me pleasure you as you asked me to, honey."
"Yes", she whispers, tilting her head backward.
I unzip her pants and unbutton everything I have to, and finally, her gorgeous chest is naked. I bite my lip and inhale.
"Like what you see?", she grins and laughs a little.
"I certainly do."
"Kiss it then."
"No need to tell me twice, you know."
I quickly pull her soft nipple in my mouth and feel how it hardens, while I massage her other breast, and Mery is screaming my name already, and for a second I think of neighbors, but when I remember Mrs. Hamilton, but just as I remembered I forget her.
"Yes, yes, like that Sebastian."
"Be a little quieter, honey. Don't wanna wake up my neighbors."
"Ah!"
"If you scream now, what will happen when I put my finger inside of you?", I tease her.
"Please", she begs again.
I shake my head. "I told you not to beg, Mery."
"Then hurry up. I might start touching myself if you don't do it soon."
"I would like to see that."
I remember I once asked Lucy to do that, and she refused, saying how that's too intimate for her. Though, I'm sure she'd do that if Ethan asked her. Fucking Ethan, I should stop thinking of him, and Lucy, and Esther... Esther.
NO!
Think that it's her. I don't mind. Just fuck me. How you would fuck her.
I slip my finger into her clit, and she tries to muffle her scream but covers her mouth with her palm. I quickly remove it.
"I changed my mind. Scream as much as you like."
"Sebastian! Ah, faster! Pl..."
"Uh-uh." I twirl her nipple between my fingers, and she screams again, this time louder, arching her back.
"Fuck, you are... damn, I'll come..."
"You're so wet for me, Mery." I slow down my rhythm, happy that I still remember how to pleasure a woman. For a moment I was scared that I forgot how to do it. But Mery's curves helped me remember.
"Faster", she pleads.
"No, you'll enjoy this, and I'll make you scream my name so", I lean in her ear, my lip brushing its shell, "hard."
"I'm already screaming it."
"You'll scream even more."
"Sebastian?"
"Yes, honey."
"Inside", she mumbles, her eyes closed the entire time, squeezing shut. "I need you inside of me."
"But you said that you..."
"Fuck what I said. Inside of me, now."
"Protection?" I stretch my arm, hoping that I have a condom in my nightstand.
"No. I'm on a pill."
"Let's do it, then."
***
"Was that average?", I ask her, lifting myself on the elbow, and tugging the strand that fell behind her ear. I undid her ponytail while our bodies were entwined, and now her blonde hair is let down, constantly falling on her face.
"Average?" She scrunches her nose. "It was unbelievable, Sebastian."
"Really? Be honest."
"Baby", she stretches her hand to cup my cheek, "don't ever doubt yourself."
I take her hand in mine and place a kiss there. From the experience, I know that women love small gestures, especially after sex. And even though Lucy wanted to leave, I know that she appreciate them, too. Every woman just simply does.
"Who hurt you?", she asks, and I confuse.
"Huh?"
"Who hurt you and made you think you don't fuck good?"
I let go of her hand and begin to draw circles on her stomach. She gets goosebumps, and I just cover her better with the blanket, and continue playing with her skin, nervously.
"Thanks."
Before I can think of any good reason why wouldn't I confess my whole life to this stranger, I say. "I was cheated."
And even though we had sex, we still know nothing about each other, and we aren't connected. This is the first woman I had sex without thinking I made love instead. When I think better this is the first woman with whom I had a one-night-stand.
"How long?"
"How long what?"
"How long has been after she'd cheated on you?"
"Six months."
"Six months", she murmurs in her chin, thinking. "Six months passed since you've been laid."
"Yes", I admit, surprisingly without any shame.
"How was it for you, then?" She turns to lay on her hip, and face me.
"Average", I joke. She immediately widens her eyes. "I'm joking", I take her hand in mine, and kiss it, "relax. It was almost unbelievable. Honestly, I thought that I wasn't going to find anyone to have sex with."
"Were you even searching for them?"
I shake my head, chuckling, caught. "No."
"Then?" She raises her eyebrow. "Who you were waiting for? A romance-like cliché story?"
"Maybe", I laugh.
She tsks. "That's not how life functions, doc."
"Isn't it?" I lean in her face and place a messy kiss on her lips. Her expression seems surprised when I pull away, but she quickly drops it, cocking her eyebrow.
"Well, since you haven't been laid for half a year, are you down for a round two?", she proposes, and lays on her stomach, so her full chest is brushing the sheets, calling me. Her perfectly round butt, too.
"Aren't you sore?", I worry.
"Don't you worry about me boy. I'm here to pleasure you tonight and fulfill all of your wishes."
Damn me. She knows exactly what to say to turn me on and make me fall on my knees.
"But..."
She places a finger on my parted lips. "Shh, doc. Will you heal me? I have pain."
"Where exactly?" I frown playfully, pouting my lips.
"Let me show you..." She takes my hand and leads it between her thighs. "You wanted to see me touch myself, so let me show you where and how to touch me."
I'm breathing hard, my lips parted, as I watch her with hungry eyes. She is too pretty for me. How did she find me? Me? What if I hadn't been in that restaurant? What if I had decided to come to my lonely home, and investigate more about Esth...
"Can we first kiss?", I cut my own thoughts. "I..."
She again puts her finger on my lips, shushing me. "Shhh, Sebastian, we can do whatever you want, baby. Kiss, fuck, talk, fuck again. Don't you dare think about me."
A quick thought of her punishing herself runs through my mind, but as soon as her tongue asks my mouth for entrance, I push it aside. Our tongues dance and fight for dominance, and they are so wet and warm, that I bet the whole temperature of the room is on a higher scale because of how fast they are dancing. Though the messy dance, but none of us seems to mind. I don't think that I was ever kissing someone like this, not even Lucy. With her, I was shyer than I was dirty like I'm with Mery. Guess, that I'm now practicing what Lucy taught me when I should have done that with her instead.
I've always found kissing more intimate than having sex. I don't know why, I just do. The fact that I could kiss someone, that our lips could merge and become one to me was always much better than having intertwined bodies. Sex requires time even if it can be quick, but a kiss can only be a simple peck and bring goosebumps to your skin. A kiss can also be everywhere, and that is what makes it special, too- on the shoulder, on the forehead, just everywhere and still bring shivers to your body, awakening it. With kiss sex usually starts, but a kiss is also what makes us first fall in love. Without a kiss, we can't fall in love.
So, am I trying to fall in love with this mysterious woman who came out of nowhere and saved my night?
Didn't Esther save your night, too when she was with you...
Esther was asleep, and she would never make me feel less lonely. I need touch. Esther would never give me a touch. So, I'm trying to find it somewhere else even though I'm sure that I wouldn't want it from Larsson either.
Mery catches my fingers, and shoves them between her thighs, in between the kiss, then she comes back to my mouth, giving the best as if she wasn't touching herself down there with my fingers. She is again wet, and I try my best to follow what she's doing, and not slow my rhythm and tease her a little.
"Without boots this time, plea..."
"No pleading", I shove my tongue in her mouth, cutting her off. She moans, and when I push my finger further into her, she arches her back, and I place my hand on her back, holding her body.
I hate when a woman pleads. I know many men do it, and they think they are sexier when they make a woman beg, but to me that is gross. I know that it may make them turn on, and want us more, but I just could never do it. Not even if Lucy comes back to me and asks me to make her beg. I could never.
And finally for the first time in six months after I had caught her precious body thrusting in another man I think that I'm over her.
"No boots, I promise."
God, I can't believe I published this. I'm so embarrassed