jennie
my phone vibrated against my ass, informing me that i've received a message. i finished organizing my uniform on my locker first before grabbing my jacket inside and shutting my locker close. i grab my phone from the back pocket of my jeans and checked who texted me eventhough i already have a guess who it is.
my mother and my bestfriend, irene always prefers calling me than texting.
i'm already outside.
a smile automatically appeared on my face as i read her text. i quickly wear my jacket and made my way outside. my steps faltered when the door was pushed aggresively and yeri came rustling inside.
"oops," she muttered when she noticed me. "hey ohmygod i'm sorry." she quickly apologized and i just wave my hand to let her know it's okay.
"you going home? i saw your girl's car outside." she told me with a hint of tease in her voice. i smiled at her.
"yeah. she just texted me. i'm just about to go out before you came hustling and about to smash my face against the door." i chuckled. she grin cheekily at me.
"i'm sorryyy i came late so i was rushing plus you know how hanbin hates late comers. not everyone of us can get away with being late y'know." she gave me a pointed look, referring that i was the one she's talking about. i just shook my head at her and dismissed the topic immediately.
"goodluck with your shift, i'm gonna head out. bye!" i told her and she make a quick stride towards me and drop a kiss on my cheek.
"bye! be safe." i wave at her one last time before i stepped outside the back door.
i pull my jacket closer to me as i feel the cold breeze of the night. i glance at my watch. it's just a little after 11. the night is just starting for my kind of work as i watch the throng of people going inside the bar. i'm just glad that hanbin let me have my shift earlier but next week i'll get back to my usual schedule which is the graveyard shift. hanbin likes to assign me on midnight because he told me that a lot of his usual customers are always looking for me. i'm not complaining because they give me generous tips whenever i'm around.
i roam my eyes around the parking and my eyes stopped at a familiar black bmw car. my lips stretched into a smile as i make my way towards it with little bounce in my steps. the door opened and she stepped out, looking like a model. it still feels surreal having her as a girlfriend.
she rounded the car and gave me a better look at her outfit. she's wearing a simple tight black pants and a white shirt. it's nothing fancy actually but her presence caught a lot of attention from people passing by. her blonde hair is messed up sexily. and i have to restrain myself from glaring at each person who's checking her out. her eyes are only trained towards me so it doesn't matter if people are looking anymore.
"hey." she greeted in her husky voice, making me shiver slightly at how sexy she sounds. i reached her place and her arms instantly wrapped around me. burying my face on her chest, my arms snake around her waist. a content sigh escaped my lips.
"tired?" she whispered on my ear and i felt her kissed the side of my head after.
"hmm."
"wanna eat outside?" i shook my head and leaned back a little to gaze up at her.
"you haven't eaten yet?" i asked her with a scowl. she gave me her heart stopping smile.
"not yet. i want to eat with you.." she trailed off. how can i not fall inlove when she do things like this? but then her expression turned mischievous.
"or maybe i should just have you for my dinner?" she smirk and my eyes widen in return. i smack her arm and she just chuckled, staring at my heated face.
i pouted and she planted a kiss on my forehead. she always joke things like that to me but she never even kiss me on the lips.
and i know the reason very well.
little pins prickle my heart but i just closed my eyes and relish the feeling of having her here, near me, and being in her arms.
"let's just eat at home. i'll cook your favorite." i told her and step away from her. she reached for the door and opened it for me. i slid in and she shut the door after. i watch her round the car in an instant and settled herself on the driver seat. she start the car and glance at me.
"you sure? aren't you exhausted?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.
"yes i'm sure and no i'm not that tired." i smiled reassuringly at her. she stayed quiet after that. i silently watch her, noticing how she seems deep in thought.
i'm used to this lisa. when she would suddenly stay quiet having her own world in her head. it lead me to remember all those struggles i experienced with her before we reach what we are now.
it was 8 months ago when i first met lisa. i'm already working at the bar that time. i just finished serving kai and his friends for their 3rd round and i was making my way back to the counter when i spotted her.
she's sitting alone at the bar, looking so lost. her eyes are empty as they stared at nothing. she looks so broken but she's the most gorgeous person i've ever laid my eyes on. it didn't stop there. she was always present at the bar, drinking hard until she's wasted and couldn't walk straight. but i never approached her and just watched her from afar. i noticed a lot of guys and girls tried to get her attention but she never spare them a glance. it will not take a genius to know that she's going through something.
it's a scene that is not new to me. I witnessed a lot of people drown their sorrows and miseries with alcohol but something about her intrigues me. she's an enigma that I want to unfold.
and then it happened one night.
i just finished my shift and was about to hail a cab when i noticed someone sitting on the pavement with her head hung low. i watch her for a minute before she lift her head and look directly at me. i let out a quiet gasp when the dull pair of brown orbs meet mine. it was heartbreaking to see someone so beautiful yet so broken. it's like she was calling for me, begging me to help her. to take away her pain.
who broke this angel?
my heart is beating hard against my chest and there's an ache that came out of nowhere. that night, lisa completely change my life.
"lisa?" i called her.
"hmm?" she answered without taking her eyes away from the road. she's responding but i know her mind is elsewhere.
"i love you." i muttered under my breath. she stiffened for a second before a hint of smile formed on her lips. she grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles but she never say it back.
i look away to hide the tears that fell from my eyes. she's here but she still felt so far. she may be with me but i know i will never have her heart. it sucks but i'm still staying by her side like the biggest idiot that i am. i gaze outside and bit my lower lip to contain my whimpers.
———
i came home early. my boss, hanbin, insisted on it because of how bad my coughs and colds are. i'm not really feeling well since i woke up this morning but i don't wanna lose one day's worth of salary so i still came to work. i thought drinking medicine will somehow lessen my cough and cold but i was wrong. i can feel my body yearning to reunite with our bed. i slipped on my fluffy slippers and make a beeline towards our bedroom. i heard the shower running and got confused.
why is lisa showering at this hour? it's late and she usually showers at 7 when she came home from work. something buzzed on the side table that caught my attention.
it's lisa's phone. i slowly make my way towards it. i don't snoop with lisa's things but her odd behaviour these past few days caused me to find for answers. she's always spacing out and there were both times she came home drunk. it was like i was slowly witnessing the lisa i've known 8 months ago. i grab her phone and stared at the opened message box. i know it's so wrong but i can't stop my eyes.
lisa: she's back seulgi. i saw her.
seulgi: lisa... are you sure it's her?
lisa: yes ofc. i knew her too well.
seulgi: what did you do?
lisa: she turned and saw me. she approached me and ask me how i am.
lisa: and she wants us to meet up.
seulgi: did you agree?
lisa: yes.
seulgi: i think that's a bad idea lis...
my hands shook and i almost drop her phone so i quickly put it back on its original position.
she's back. i don't know her. i never met her. heck, i don't even know her name. but I know she's the one who broke lisa and who will always own her heart. then that means my time with her is up.
i can feel the side of eyes heating and then i heard the shower being turned off. before lisa could see me, i whisked myself out of the room. my thoughts went miles away as i stayed on the kitchen. lisa didn't leave our room so after half an hour of hiding in the kitchen, i conditioned myself as i step inside our room. she was lying on our bed, sleeping peacefully.
she must be happy right now that the girl she truly loves is back in her life. i bit my lips a little too hard to keep the tears from escaping. i knew from the start that i will never have her fully but i'm still an idiot for falling hard for her. i'm an idiot to think that she'll forget about her and love me. i'm an idiot for giving her my whole eventhough she can only give me pieces of her.
i changed into my pajamas and lie down beside her. i stared at her beautiful face and trace her features with my fingers, memorizing everything about her.
thank you. thank you for letting me love you even for a short period of time. my lips quiver so i turned away from her and cry quietly until i fall asleep.
the next day, she came home drunk at 2 am. i know she went out and meet up with her. i waited for her and i was genuinely surprised when she came stumbling at the door. i was expecting that she wouldn't come back to me after talking to her. i stood calmly and walk towards her. i guide her on our bedroom and let her sit on the bed. i took care of her. i wipe her face with a wet towel and changed her clothes. the whole time i'm doing it, she was just staring at my face, silently watching me.
"jennie." she muttered but i didn't look up at her.
"i need to tell you something." she slurred out. i know what she's about to tell me. this is it. she'll tell me that she's choosing her.
"t-thank you... jennie..for—"
"shh." i stop her. i can't take it. i don't wanna hear her say her goodbye to me.
"let's talk tomorrow. you're drunk." i told her, trying to stop my voice from breaking. i grab her dirty clothes and was about to walked away when she suddenly hold my wrist.
"why are you crying?" i didn't even know i'm already crying if i didn't feel her fingers wiping away my tears. i leaned on her hands and closed my eyes.
"i'm just happy," i sobbed. i opened my eyes and stare at her gorgeous eyes.
"i'm happy i met you." i felt her engulfed me in her arms and i cried harder. that night, a decision was made.
———
i heard my flight being called and i numbly stood from my seat.
"hey are you sure about this?" yeri asked me. i avert my eyes to her and see worry written on her whole face. i give her a pathetic attempt of a smile.
"yes. thank you for accompanying me eventhough you don't have to."
"it's nothing, silly." yeri pulled me in a hug.
"take care okay? call me when you have time. don't be a stranger." she pointedly told me but her eyes soon glimmer with tears.
"i'll miss you."
"you know i'll miss you too. stop making me cry."
"i can't help it. who knew when will be the next time i'll see you." i just gave her a small smile before reaching for my luggage.
"maybe soon. bye yeri, " i waved at her and quickly turn around before i change my mind.
"JENNIE KIM!" i stopped dead on my tracks when i heard her familiar voice.
no jennie. you've made your decision. you're letting her go so move and don't look back.
"don't you dare take another step!" i close my eyes. oh god. why can't you just make this easier for the both of us lisa?
"turn around." her voice sounds closer now and i sigh before turning around to face her.
she's standing meters away from me, catching her breath and sweating. my eyes widened when i see her appearance. she's wearing the clothes i changed her into last night and her hair is dishevelled. did she just wake up and went straight here?
our eyes met and i slightly stumble back at how intense her eyes are. she stood and take long steps towards me. her right hand reached for my waist, her left grabbed my face and then she crashed her lips on mine.
my eyes went wide as my heart start to pound hard and fast against my chest.
what..
my brain wasn't even done processing what's happening when she pulled away and whispered those three magical words against my lips.
"i love you."
"w-what?" i asked, dumbly.
"i said i love you jennie ruby jane kim." she muttered, sounding out of breath.
i stayed muted. am i dreaming?
"how about..her?" her eyes turned apologetic.
"i'm sorry for not telling you." she took a deep breath before releasing it. there's a look of regret in her eyes.
"i'll admit, seeing rosé again confused me. memories and old wounds opened. i agreed to meet up with her to clear up what i really feel. she apologized and deeply regretted breaking my heart but at that moment i got what i wanted.
which is a closure. she's been a big part of my life and her leaving me broke me but then there's you jennie. you came in my life and serves as the light in my darkest days. you met me at my worse but you helped me get better. you've been nothing but patient to me from the very start. you help me picked my broken pieces without demanding anything in return. and i realize how i'm holding back from completely showing you how much you mean to me. i've been selfish and i hated myself because of that and that's why i drank last night.
"and when i came home you were there waiting for me at 2 am, ready to take care of me. you're so special, so precious, so perfect but i'm not doing anything to make you feel that. i'm sorry i'm an asshole and i know i don't deserve you but when i woke up without you by my side, i panicked. i read the note you left about setting me free and i haven't felt so scared like that in my life. it felt like my world fell down. i can't lose you jennie. i'm nothing without you so please give me a chance to prove how much you mean the world to me." she ended her speech and wipe my tears that i didn't even noticed. her eyes are also glistening with unshed tears.
"lisa." i whispered and sniffed. "yes baby?" i didn't respond right away. fear crossed her face and i saw her gulp.
"am i too late? did you get tired of me already?" she asked in a devastated voice. i shook my head vigorously.
"no. it's just that...your words..they're beautiful." she cupped my face and stared deeply into my eyes. it's like she's looking straight through my soul.
"you're more beautiful." she blurted out that caused my cheeks to turn red. she smiled upon seeing me blush.
"say it again." i exclaimed.
"hmm?"
"those three words." she smile and put her lips on my nose.
"i love you."
"again." i shut my eyes closed.
"i love you." a kiss on each of my eyelids.
"one more."
"i love you jennie kim. i love you i love you i love you i love you." i giggle as she peppered my face with soft kisses.
"i, lalisa manoban, the most stupid person, loves you, jennie kim." i chuckled but more tears came oozing down my cheeks. this time it was happy tears tho.
her eyes turned soft as she gaze at me.
"so will you? give us another chance to start over?" she asked with so much hope. i gave her my gummy smile and i nod my head. she flash a wide, genuine smile that i've only seen for the first time.
"thank you so much." she muttered and kiss me. this time, i responded to her kisses as i put my arms around her neck. she kissed me with full of heat and passion and i feel my heart burning with an unexplainable feeling that only lisa can give me. she pulled away and i was left panting after our kiss.
"god. why did i waited this long before tasting your lips?" she groaned, staring darkly at my lips before claiming it once again. her grip tightened on my waist as she pulled me closer to her.
claps and whoops brought us back to reality that we're not alone. we totally forgot we are at the airport. i pulled away and buried my face in lisa's neck, feeling very embarrassed. her chest vibrated as she chuckled.
a series of congratulations was heard after that. i saw yeri grinning from ear to ear.
"do you want a copy of lisa's heartfelt confession? i recorded it all." lisa laughed at yeri who's pointing at her phone. i just smiled. lisa brought her mouth close to my ears and whispers,
"by the way, i hope you don't mind me borrowing your fluffy slippers." she winked at me and my laugh was cut short when she pulled me for another kiss.