i'm still mad at you guys but here
onika
Bey pissed me off yesterday. After taking the night to think and gather my thoughts, I was even more pissed off.
She's a liar. This isn't the first time she's looked me right in the eyes and lied to me.
I'll say this again, she's not nearly as dumb or innocent as she seems. She knows exactly what she's doing.
She's like one of my kids, lying just to lie.
I was glad she didn't come over last night, she would've gotten cussed out so bad she would've had to break up with me.
Her feelings get hurt when I talk to her normally, she would've went home and cried by the time I was done with her.
I did struggle to sleep without her. This was the second time I've had to sleep without her since before Houston.
I had to take sleeping pills and cuddle with a pillow to go to sleep. It's so weird, I slept alone for years but after sleeping with her for a couple weeks, I can't sleep without her.
I didn't want to depend on her the way I do but it's too late. It's been barely a day, I shouldn't miss her as much as I do.
I was surprised when she didn't text or call me all day. I was constantly checking my phone for a notification from her but I didn't get one.
She's really showing her true colors I guess. When someone shows you their true colors, you don't ignore it.
I was in the kitchen about to make myself tea so I could go to sleep and someone knocked on the door.
I set down my mug and went to open the door. Amir was literally sitting in the living room playing his game so he could've opened the door. Just lazy.
I let him have his game thing downstairs instead of in his room. He's still on punishment.
I opened the door and Bey was standing there holding a grey hoodie.
"Can we talk? I brought a peace offering." She smiled and held up the hoodie.
I fake smiled and took the hoodie then mugged her. "No." I slammed the door in her face.
I didn't want to talk to her. She lied. She's a liar, there's nothing else to talk about.
I went back into the kitchen to finish making my tea. I sat at the island and drank the tea while I started a new book for my book club.
I could feel myself start to get drowsy so I put my mug in the sink and turned the kitchen lights off.
I walked into the living room to say goodnight to Amir and imagine my surprise when I see Bey on the couch with him playing that basketball game.
"What the hell? What are you doing here?"
"I knocked on the door and Amir opened it." She didn't even look at me, she was too into the game.
"That doesn't explain why you're sitting on my couch playing games."
She shrugged, "I like 2k. I'll leave after this, I'm sorry."
Amir shrugged just like her. Oh no, she got to him too. "We're doing best out of three, you should just go to sleep. I'll lock the door after she leaves."
"You're playing games with her after she cheated on me? Your own mother?" If she can lie I can lie too.
"You cheated on my mom?" He didn't even pause the game.
"No I didn't cheat on your mom. Onika we're not Amir and Bryson, the world doesn't need to know what's going on in our relationship."
"First of all, the world doesn't know about our relationship problems. You guys are just nosy- damn it."
"We don't really have a choice, you guys put all your business out there. There's no reason I as your coach should know what you and your teammate do when you're alone. And you know exactly what I'm talking about."
"What's she talking about?"
"I have no idea. I thought you were going to sleep?"
"Mhm. Bey come on."
I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to sleep comfortably.
She looked away for the game for the first time. "Really?!"
"You're just going to take her in the middle of the game? We bet money on it."
She's too grown, first of all.
"Bey if you're not in my bed by the time my head touches my pillow, you'll never see my bed again. I promise."
She dropped the controller on the couch next to her and sprinted upstairs. I said goodnight to Bryson and went upstairs too.
When I got to my room, Bey was already in my bed using her phone.
"Who are you texting?"
"Kelly."
"I bet you're lying." I got in bed and laid on my side. She got the message and came behind me and spooned me.
"I'm sorry-"
"Just go to sleep. We can talk in the morning."
"Okay, goodnight."
I ignored her and closed my eyes. With her right behind me, I went to sleep in just a couple minutes.
I woke up on her chest. I like being on her like this better, I don't know how we got like this though.
I knew Bey was awake because she was softly rubbing my back.
"Why do you like lying so much?" I was starting early today.
"Well goodmorning to you too."
"Get out." I was already getting mad, it's too early to be yelling.
"I'm sorry Onika."
"Why did you lie?"
"At the time we weren't together. I didn't feel the need to tell you the truth, it wasn't important. I didn't even tell Robyn."
"And what about after we got together?"
"You were already so.. you know-"
"I don't know. Enlighten me."
"I mean, you saw how you acted with my ex. I was just trying to avoid that. I stopped talking to Mel because of you anyways, it didn't matter to me."
"When did you guys have sex?"
"New Years. I don't even know if I knew you when it happened."
"How did it happen? I want details." I'm about to have my own stomach hurting, I don't want to know.
"We were drunk and things happened. That's it."
"I said details."
"We went out and we were super drunk. You know I like to dance and she was dancing with me and she can dance really good. She said it was because of where she was from, her hips-"
"Beyoncé."
"You said you wanted details. Anyways, our dancing got more and more sexual and we started kissing. She called us an Uber back to her house and that's the last thing I remember."
"I don't believe you. What happened after she called the Uber?"
"I told you I was drunk. I probably wouldn't have been able to spell my own name if someone asked me."
"So what happened when you woke up?"
"We agreed it was a one time thing because we were drunk and we weren't going to tell anyone about it."
"Where was Robyn? You guys went out just the two of you? I thought you said you only went on a date once."
"Robyn was there at the beginning but you know how she is, she saw a pretty girl and disappeared with her."
"I don't believe you. That's the only thing you guys ever did?"
"Yes."
"So that day when we were going to Mel's house and you didn't want to go, what was that about? You didn't want me to hear her say anything about what you guys did? You knew keeping that a secret was wrong, that's why you were trying so hard not to go. You know the shit you do is wrong and you don't care."
"That's not true."
"Then what is?"
"Onika, I promise. I was just trying to avoid an awkward situation because I was with you and I know I did something with her. It wasn't even like that."
"I think it was. You're a liar. You had so many opportunities to tell me about it and you didn't. Even when we went over to her house, you could've told me."
"You're right, I'm sorry."
"Now, I'm not going to break up with you or anything but this is the last time something like this will happen."
I unfortunately like her way too much to break up with her. I kinda need her.
"Okay."
"No more lying, I'm serious."
"No more lying, I promise."
"I swear, I will hurt you if you do some shit like this again. You already know I'm crazy, you just don't know how crazy."
I meant every word.
"Got it. I promise and I'm sorry."
"Now you can get out."
"What?"
"Did you think everything was just going to be peaches and cream after what you did? I can't sleep well without you but I'm awake so you can go."
"Are you serious?"
"Very. Bye, I'll call you."
"I feel like a slut being kicked out after sex."
"You are a slut. That's our whole problem."
"I had a sex with one person once, that doesn't make me a slut."
"Bye Bey, lock the door on your way out."
I rolled off her and turned away. I heard her get her stuff and leave. After I heard my front door close, I closed my eyes again to try and get a couple more minutes of sleep until Imani woke up.
——
i wasn't going to put this book back but i'm about to be on spring break and i know i'm gonna be so bored
Bey?
Onika?
Is Bey not as innocent and dumb as she seems? Does she lie too much?
Onika not being able to sleep without Bey?
Beys reasons for why she didn't tell Onika?
Did Onika forgive Bey too easily?
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