Around 5 a.m. I heard a scream and got up startled.
My room was right next to Four's but apparently he must have been sleeping like a rock because he didn't come out of his room to see what was going on like I did.
I went to the guest room from where another scream came again. Which was strange because nobody sleeps there unless we have guests. I opened the door slowly and found Natasha on the floor against the bed with her hands on her face. I closed the door again but in such a way as not to frighten her. I went over to her and got down on my knees.
"Natasha?" I asked softly touching her knee.
She quickly pushed my hand away and didn't even look up.
"Go away"
"No. What's wrong? Shouldn't you be with Atlas?" I asked this time without touching her.
"I don't want to talk about it" She replied, her body shivering with cold. Which was normal, that room was the coldest of all it was always closed and never any light came in.
I removed my sweat and lifted her arms. She didn't refuse and put it on by herself.
"Come." I stood up and put my hand in front of her for her to take.
Without saying anything she took it and left that room with me.
We went back to mine and I immediately opened the cover of my bed so she could lie down. She immediately lay down and curled up on the cover. I went to the other side of the bed and lay down too.
"Thank you" She thanked me but even then she still looked like she was cold even though the bed, at least for me, was warm.
"You're still cold aren't you?" I asked directly.
"Maybe" It irritates me solemnly when she doesn't want to give weak part.
"Come here" I opened my arms giving her an opening to come close to me.
"What are you doing?" She asked confused but the one who was even more confused was me.
"What do you mean? Doesn't Atlas usually do this when you're cold?"
"He's never done that..." Her voice kind of sad and disappointed. That idiot doesn't even treat the woman he has in front of him well.
"It doesn't matter. Come on, I don't want you to be cold." I continued with my arms open and she moved closer to me.
"Better?" I asked feeling her breath on my neck and her body beginning to warm with my warmth.
"Better" My hands stayed around her body protectively.
"Try to sleep, I know you probably had a bad dream but it should be easier to fall asleep now too" I spoke stroking her hair.
"Thanks again, Alex" Natasha spoke up placing one of her hands on my chest.
"You're welcome" I kissed her forehead and drifted back to sleep.
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I woke up feeling like someone was touching me. A very soft, gentle touch on one of my arms. Natasha.
I slowly opened my eyes finding hers already focused on me.
"Good morning" She said not stopping touching me. Her voice so beautiful in the morning...
"Good morning" I said yawning.
"Do you want to talk about yesterday?" I asked now more awake.
"Atlas was in a bad mood yesterday after that encounter here with Keane's mafia yesterday. Then he kept moving in bed and also started to respond badly to me. I decided I didn't want to spend the night there with him. I went to the guest room and ended up having a nightmare...and then you showed up" A deep sigh came out of her as she spoke.
"I'm gonna talk to him" I said already convinced getting out of bed. But Natasha pulled me back.
"I'll talk to him later" she got on top of me pulling the blanket over us. She laid her head on my chest as if she was going to sleep again but I knew she was wide awake. I stroked her hair like last night making her sigh with contentment.
"That feels good" She said closing her eyes.
"I want to show you something" I said causing her to lift her head to face me.
"What is it?" Natasha asked sitting on my lap.
I turned my left arm over, showing her the tattoo I was about to tell her about.
"It's beautiful" She ran her fingers over the tattoo making me shiver.
"I made it the day before I left Greece... because of you" Her gaze focused on me still processing the words I'd said.
"Let me guess... the black fish is you and the white fish is me" She spoke knowing she was right.
"Now I'm the one who wants to show you something..." Natasha said getting off me.
She showed me one of her heels and I realized was also a tattoo she wanted to show me. An Ace with an ace of spades sign underneath was tattooed into her body.
"I did it too before I left Greece...because of you" My spine tingled all over. I wasn't expecting her to get a tattoo too to remember me.
"Looks like we thought the same" I said touching the tattoo.
An awkward silence ensued and I fiddled with my phone a bit before turning to her again.
"So how long have you been with my brother?" I asked curiously.
"For two years" She replied looking away.
"You are incredibly mysterious, Romanoff. You are an independent woman and you are not afraid of anything or anyone but when it comes to my brother, he seems to have an effect on you that makes you seem like someone else" I spoke pulling her chin up so she could face me.
"Don't think you know me Alex. Because believe me you don't" She said her gaze now on mine, her eyes darker than usual.
"We never really know people. This is my mantra. And you? Especially you, I'm sure I never will. I will only know what you let me know" I faced her the same way.
"You have a way with words" Natasha said changing the subject.
"Anyway...are you going to talk to him right away?" I asked trying to analyze her facial expression.
"It depends, are you kicking me out of your room?" She asked in a playful tone and with that mischievous smile.
"Not at all. I even already ordered our breakfast, it will be here in 2 minutes" I said giving her the same smile she gave me.
"Careful Alex, don't fall in love. That's the stuff of people in love" Natasha said bringing her face closer to mine and licking her lips.
"I don't believe in love, Natasha" I looked at her one last time and then got up from the bed and left the room going to the hall to get my order.
I went back into the room but didn't see her on the bed where she had been a minute ago.
"Natasha?" I called out to her and she came out of my bathroom.
I put the bag on the bed and went to the outdoor area, where the pool is, to look at my city, New York. The city that never sleeps.
"U good? Natasha's voice came from behind me. She stood next to me and held out a cup of coffee and one of the croissants I had ordered.
"Yes, thank you" For mere seconds my gaze passed hers.
"Why?" she questioned and I could feel her gaze on me.
"Why what?" I continued to stare at the city and eating and drinking at the same time.
"Why don't you believe in love?" She took a sip of her coffee.
"Love is an illusion" Now I was the one who took a sip of my coffee. "It is a weapon that sooner or later kills us"
"Have you ever fallen in love with someone?" Natasha turned her whole body to me.
"It was never necessary. To understand the purpose and what love means, you just have to observe what happens in people's everyday lives. For example, you were probably hurt by Atlas after yesterday" I spoke turning fully towards her as well.
"You're afraid" She said stroking my face, making my whole body shiver under her touch. "You are afraid of what love can make you feel. You're afraid of giving yourself to someone and you're afraid especially of giving someone the power to be able to hurt you."
"I'm not afraid of anything, Natasha" I spoke in a confident tone.
"We are all afraid of something." She removed her hand from my face and smiled at me.
"What are you afraid of?" I asked bringing my body closer to hers.
"I guess you'll have to find out for yourself, Alex Grey" Natasha turned around and went back inside.
I looked back at the city one last time taking another sip and also went back inside.
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"But where the fuck were you?!" Atlas snapped at Natasha.
Instinctively I put myself in front of her.
"Lower your tone, Atlas" I spoke assertively.
"Alex get out of the way! This is none of your business!" He shouted.
"I'm not getting the fuck out of the way until you calm down. I know Natasha can with you, however you reek of alcohol. And I know very well how aggressive you get. In fact, need I remind you of the times I've been beaten up because you were drunk?" He was silent for a while.
"I promised I wouldn't touch you again" He said with his hands clenched.
"I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about her. I don't trust you to be in the same place with her in the shape you are in" I stated.
"I can take care of myself Alex" Natasha spoke coming out from behind me.
"I know-" I was about to start speaking but was stopped.
"Then go away" She said in a harsh voice.
Without saying anything else I walked away towards the training room.
I urgently needed to take my anger out on something.
I didn't even bother to put protection on my hands and started hitting one of the punching bags. With each second my strength increased and the pain in my knuckles disappeared.
"ALEX" I heard Wanda calling my name but I remained focused on hitting the bag.
"Four help!" She shouted.
Four grabbed from behind and pulled me away from the bag even though he knew I would struggle to get back.
"Enough Alex! Your hands are full of blood!" He yelled dragging me out of the room.
We passed my brother and Natasha who came up behind us. Wanda was already waiting along with Aaron for me with the first aid kit to treat my hands.
"What the fuck, Alex? Are you stupid or what?" My brother started to say a lot of things but I wasn't hearing anything.
My eyes were focused on the blood on my hands.
I abruptly walked out of there.
"D-Damon? It happened again" I spoke into the phone as I simply sat in my car.
"I'm coming to you. Where are you?" Without hesitation he spoke.
"Parking lot, Grey's company" I spoke hanging up the phone.
My hands were shaking and wouldn't stop.
"Shit...I lost control again..." Fucking anger issues. While my brother has the alcohol problem I have anger issues. However, it hadn't happened this way for years.
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A thump caused my attention to shift from my hands to Damon, who was standing outside the car.
I opened the door and got out. Damon simply pulled me into a hug, not caring that I was getting his shirt dirty. We may be from rival mobs but I consider Damon a kind of big brother, much more than Atlas. And he also has the same problem as me.
"Let's deal with it first and then we'll talk, shall we?" He asked thoughtfully.
"Yeah..." I sighed going to his car.
We drove to his house and he treated my hands and also gave me a box of pain pills.
"Ok, let me guess, your brother caused that" He always knows the answer.
"Yeah"
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I spent the whole afternoon at home and only when it was getting dark did I go to my cell phone, because it was only after a long time that I could move my hands and even then in pain.
With the phone records I had: 20 missed calls from Wanda, 17 from Four, 8 from Aaron and 2 from Atlas. However, an unknown number called me 12 times.
"It's time to go back..." I sighed.
"Are you sure? You can stay here as long as you want, Alex. You can even sleep over if you want" He said in the utmost reassurance and with concern in his voice.
"This is why I wish you were really my brother and not him..." I rarely do but I pulled him into a tight hug.
"We are brothers, we just don't have the same blood" After that we walked to my building again.
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"Anything at all don't hesitate to call" He said before leaving.
I nodded and headed for the elevator.
Before it got to my floor, that is the last one, I put my gun in my hand. If any of them, and by them I really just mean Atlas, even try to hit me in the head I will shoot them.
I went inside and they were all sitting in the room.
"YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY TO WORRY US?!" Atlas yelled and - I warned - without looking I shot him in the leg.
"AH SHIT!" He screamed in pain.
The rest remained silent and I headed for my room.
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"May I come in?" A female voice made itself heard from outside my room.
"Go away, Wanda. I don't want to talk to anyone."
"Alex please-" she tried to insist.
"If you come in here, you'll end up like Atlas or worse...and I don't want that. So go away, please-" I gripped the jamb of my bathroom door even harder.
It was silent until I heard someone talking again.
"I'm going in, Alex" Of all people it had to be her.
"Go away, or you'll come out worse than Atlas" I took a deep breath.
How sarcastic, I don't trust my brother to be with people when he's drunk but I'm also afraid of what I might do when my anger issues are at their peak.
"I don't care" Before I could say anything else, Natasha walked into my room.
I got as far away from her as possible.
"We need to talk" She said.
"Some other time, now get out" I stated.
"No" Natasha started to approach me.
"Stop! I don't want you anywhere near me, I swear I will end up hurting you!" I spoke already in despair. If I hurt her I would never forgive myself.
"You won't hurt me" Natasha kept coming closer and made me stand against the wall.
She reached out her hand to touch my face but was startled by the scream I gave.
"DON'T YOU DARE!" I put my hands behind me and closed them into fists.
She faced me before doing the same thing again and this time without stopping. Her hand touched my face and I quickly closed my eyes.
"Alex, look at me" She said.
"No. I don't want to hurt you. I don't trust myself to be able to do that" My breathing was super altered.
"But I do. I know you would never hurt me" I felt her other hand touch the other side of my face and her forehead on mine.
"Open your eyes, please" Slowly I opened them and met hers, those beautiful green eyes.
"Excellent, now try to breathe at the same time as me" Natasha said.
Slowly my breathing returned to normal.
"Only one more thing left" She said removing her hands from my face.
They went to mine.
"Natasha don't do that-" she shushed me kissing me.
My hands were taken to her waist and she continued to kiss me.
"This doesn't count for our bet" She said after pulling away with a mischievous but more affectionate smile.
"Fair enough"