This chapter is dedicated to babysofia1234 – thank you again! I hope everyone is enjoying Sally's story so far, I think I'm getting into the meat of it now. I don't know if it'll be finished before the end of the month, but I hope you enjoy the ride!
I mumbled and shifted position, not quite awake but not asleep either. I mentally examined how I felt, and found that I was feeling refreshed and comfortable. Lincoln was nuzzling against my cheek, soft fur just heavily enough to let me know he was there. There was something wrong, but for a moment I wasn't quite sure what it was. I opened my eyes, and saw darkness above me. It wasn't morning, then, and I knew I'd set my alarm for seven because I wanted to get a little extra practice in. The Eisens were away visiting Harper's great-uncle Lethbridge for the weekend. That meant that I would have nobody to chat to on the way to skating practice; and also that I would probably be taking charge today, telling people what they needed to improve on. I didn't particularly like giving orders, but everyone seemed to agree that I was the most organised among them.
Perhaps more importantly, my neighbours' absence meant that if I woke up early enough, I would have an hour to throw a ball against a wall in their back garden before I set off. I needed that time if I wanted to improve, and I needed to get at least a little better before I could risk practising where somebody else might see. But it wasn't morning now, that much was clear. So I needed to quickly work out what had woken me so that I could get back to sleep quickly. I was sure it must be something obvious, but I wasn't quite awake enough to put my finger on it.
No, it couldn't be... I'd wet the bed again?
I reached down to check the state of my sheets, and my thighs. For a second I my mind was flooded with panic, and I couldn't believe that this was happening. What could have caused it? Was it just because I was thinking about it? And how was I going to hide the evidence?
My fingers touched dry cotton, warm from my body heat. I double checked, somehow doubting the evidence of my senses, but it was still dry. A wet bed might have been on my mind somehow, maybe part of a dream that I didn't quite remember, but it hadn't actually happened. Once the thought was in my mind it was had to shift it, and I found myself checking again and again, just in case that dream had come true without me noticing. Then I rolled over, and a sudden discomfort told me why I'd woken up. A dull pressure, something hard sticking in my side; it hurt a little, but it had been there for long enough that I didn't notice the little jab of pain until I moved.
My hands reached down and I found my pacifier. It must have fallen out of my mouth overnight, and been bumped around under the covers by every little movement until I would up lying on top of it. I sighed and returned it to its drawer. I didn't want to be woken up by that again. But I'd moved a little too much, and woken myself up. It would probably be a few minutes before I could try to fall asleep again, so I decided I may as well go to the bathroom first. Anything to ensure I could sleep right through until morning.
After a couple of steps I heard faint snoring from the next room again. Lindy might be a deep sleeper, but her body never seemed to stop moving and making noise. I thought again about her stealing bits of my cake at dinner time, taking a chance every time Mum looked the other way. It was just a normal childish thing, getting away with whatever she could, but maybe she needed someone to tell her to grow up. Or maybe I was just making excuses again, to justify doing what I wanted to do. I could acknowledge that; and it wasn't such a big deal, I would only need to do it once, so it wouldn't really hurt her. I wished there was some other choice, some way that didn't make me feel so guilty, but my curiosity was too strong to deny.
She was close to the end of a period of theta sleep, which always seemed to last about the same time for her, so the timing was perfect. If I'd needed to wait more than ten minutes I might have decided not to do it, but luck was with me. I put my phone on the edge of the desk, right next to the curtain, started a track of waterfall sounds, and slowly turned up the volume. Lindy showed no signs of hearing; she wasn't disturbed at all.
I decided I would use the bathroom first this time. I didn't want to wake up to a wet bed myself. I know that was a stupid thing to worry about; there was no way that just thinking about bedwetting could make me happen. This was the fourth time I'd tried this now, and so far the second attempt – the day I'd been woken an hour later by Lindy's panic – was the only time I'd had any sign of a leak. But I wanted to be absolutely certain I wasn't the one peeing.
I moved silently past the curtain, half opened the bathroom door, and then glanced at my sister. She was sprawled out on my bed, a bundle of blankets hugged tight in her arms and the remainder drawn around her shoulders like some kind of toga. One arm was free enough that I could probably lift a bowl up underneath and get her fingers wet. It would have been easier if it worked with feet, as her legs were currently sticking out from the covers and one hung over the edge of the bed. But I had no idea if that was even worth trying. Better to stick with something that I could be more confident with. I paced closer to her bed, and liberated two toys from her arms. There was a crocodile, which I dropped in the middle of the floor where she might have left it, and the gerbil again. Bosnia was looking as happy as ever, now that Mum had given him some extended time in a tumble dryer, followed by the desperate measure of carefully unpicking one seam so that his stuffing could be spread out to dry in the summer sun. After taking a whole week to get the toy as good as new, I didn't want to risk letting her pee on it again. So I set it on the edge of her desk, where she might have carelessly tossed it.
I didn't need to pee much, but I ensured my bladder was completely empty before starting this experiment. Just to be absolutely sure. Then I returned to my room for the bowl, and filled it up. When the temperature was right I checked my phone again and confirmed that my sister had gone from theta to beta. This would probably last five minutes, and I was pretty sure that I needed to aim for the change from beta back to theta. I brought the phone with me this time, moving the white noise a little closer.
Lindy's fingers and thumb dangled in the bowl, but I had to hold it there. I couldn't get the rest of her hand in while she was positioned like that, and I needed both hands to keep the bowl steady. It was heavier than it looked, and less than a minute passed before my wrists started to ache. I told myself that I would give her two or three minutes before I gave up in favour of trying another night.
The indicator on my phone went to blue; back to theta sleep, the deepest. I couldn't tell by looking at her, but apparently this was when dreams could happen. She just lay there, oblivious to the world. How long did I need to wait?
Her foot twitched upwards slightly, just a tiny jerk like when the doctor taps your knee with a hammer. Was that a first sign of wakefulness, or a faintest hint of her fleeing from the vampire carrots of her dreams? I had no way to know. I glanced down at my phone, and saw that it was still on the green. But when my eyes came back up I could see a dark patch spreading across the sheets. She didn't move at all, just lay in exactly the position she had been before while her bladder emptied. It was hard to believe that a dumb trick like this could work so suddenly, or so effectively. But now I'd seen all the proof I could possibly hope for.
I emptied and dried my bowl, and went back to my room. There was still no sign of movement or restlessness from my sister, and the indicator on my phone screen was a solid green. I checked her alarm, and saw that she hadn't set one for morning. She must plan to sleep in today, which suited me fine. If I was already gone before she woke, she would find it easier to seek help from Mum. And perhaps I could avoid the argument about whether she needed diapers. That would probably reduce her embarrassment, and so more likely to accept a practical decision.
I doubted she could hear the background noise now, but I still faded it down before tapping the 'stop' button. Again, there was no sign of her moving on the app. I fished the pacifier out of my drawer, pulled the covers over me and Lincoln, and tried to think of nothing but drifting off to sleep; calm, comfortable, and dry.