BORTUS
"So it is not because I am upset with Klyden, that this is happening?" Bortus said to Dr. Finn.
The exam room doors were closed and there were no nurses mulling about doing their lab tests and duties, so Bortus had told the doctor his embarrassing secret, which for a Moclan Male was very not easy to do.
"Well, I can't answer that without taking time to do more counseling sessions with you," Dr. Finn said, looking down at the medscanner in her hand.
Bortus was up on the examination table after having just received an injection for a headache. The pain had stopped, but the headache still seemed to be there, just hidden now by the medicine. He'd felt tired lately and a lot of it had to do with the discord between him and Klyden.
"Have you ever heard of post-coital dysphoria?" the doctor asked him.
"I have not."
"It's part of human physiology but I believe your species may have some similarities. The condition can result in feelings of sadness, irritability or sometimes even anger, after the...sexual event. You mentioned feeling like you want to be left alone, afterward, and not wanting to be touched."
"That is correct."
"Well, that's common for those who suffer from PCD."
"Klyden believes there should be positive feelings afterwards and...cuddling."
Dr. Finn smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "What can I tell you, it's a combination of hormone and chemical balances, and psychology. It goes away after a few days to a week, following the act. Then you'll feel like cuddling again."
Bortus thought about this. It seemed accurate. Even before the incident with Topa, where Klyden would not consent to have their child be spared the mandatory sex change, Bortus had always had this 'condition,' as the doctor put it, of wanting to distance himself immediately after the sexual event, followed by feelings of dissatisfaction and depression. The sexual event was not talked about on Moclus, outside of one's own sexual partner, but Bortus always believed one was supposed to feel powerful and satiated, after the act, which had never been the case for him. He loved Klyden, but after the Topa incident, he no longer tried to pretend he enjoyed post coital contact. In fact, he avoided it all together and got caught up in pornography instead. At least after a guilt ridden session of holodeck porn, he could justify feeling unhappy, irritated and upset following the act.
"So, you can give me hormone injections?" he asked. "To remedy this condition?"
"It doesn't exactly work that way," Dr. Finn replied. "There are too many variables and the levels would need to be adjusted each time." She set her mediscanner down. "Listen, this doesn't have to be a huge roadblock in your relationship. Just explain it to Klyden and find a compromise. Maybe he can give you space after the sexual event and you can give him cuddling time once you've come out of the PCD blues. Just change the timing of things around a bit and I'm sure it can work for both of you."
Bortus's shoulders relaxed. That did sound a lot better. Klyden got extra clingy and needy right after the sexual event, and it made Bortus even more irritable and withdrawn. If he could get a little space afterward he was sure his mood would pick up a few days later and he wouldn't mind time with Klyden then.
"Thank you, doctor," Bortus said. He admired Dr. Finn and found her parental air very comforting.
"No problem." She gave him a nod.
"When can we come in again for marital counseling?"
"I'm sorry, Bortus. At this time I'm only taking appointments that need immediate attention, rather than those that require long term sessions."
"I understand."
"Do the kids have a counselor at the school?"
"I do not believe so."
"That's too bad. I never really thought about it until now. It's something I'll bring up with the Captain. As for you, you need to give yourself a little more grace. You are a great father, husband and Lieutenant Commander."
"Thank you, doctor."
Dr. Finn stepped away, attending to her scanner again and Bortus got off the examination table. He left sickbay feeling ten times lighter.
YAPHIT
Yaphit was a naturally optimistic being. He'd never heard of this thing called 'romance' until he'd started serving on a predominantly human starship. His species procreated via mitosis, so their connections were made of friendship and camaraderie. The last Chief Engineer, Steve, had introduced him to romantic comedies—portrayals of human's lives recorded on a visual medium, where the main focus of their existence was romance—and he'd soon become obsessed. Earth was one of the few planets, if not the only one, that made entertainment content like this. Now Yaphit associated all romantic feelings to human females.
So when Dann mentioned a new intergalactic dating app during work, that was still in its beta phase, Yaphit was more than curious.
He made his way to the mess hall now, hoping to find Dann there. It was still early afternoon and they wouldn't be off work for another few hours, but they'd officially arrived at Krill and the engine was taking a break. LaMarr had dismissed everyone for a late lunch, since they'd worked through lunch to ensure their stations weren't left unattended while the Dysonium Quantum Engine was engaged.
The mess hall was empty except for a few of the janitorial crew, who worked shift work and kept to themselves. Dann sat at a table by himself, smiling down at his hand-held.
"Dann my man," Yaphit said as he approached. He generally didn't talk to Dann, outside of work, but this app thing was too interesting to ignore.
Dann waved awkwardly and Yaphit shifted his body mass into the seat across from him. "So you're beta testing a new dating app, are you?"
"I sure am! Look at this beautiful female." He turned the comm screen toward Yaphit.
"Woah!" Yaphit sad. The alien species of the female was not one he was familiar with, but also not one he'd ever be attracted to. "She's...tough looking."
"Isn't she...?" Dann grinned. "And she's not that far away!"
"It tells you her location?"
"Sure! See." Dann scrolled through the tiny screen and turned it back to Yaphit, showing star coordinates. "You can see who's near you, or far away."
"That seems like a breach of security."
"I guess, but if you set it to a small area range, you can see all the singles near you, like, just aboard the Orville."
"Do that!" Yaphit said. He wanted to know if Claire was still single. She'd been his first human sexual experience and he hated the thought of her seeing anyone else, even if she didn't want to be with him.
"Will you gentlemen be needing any food?" the waiter interrupted them.
"Yeah sure, the usual for me," Yaphit said.
"Me too," Dann beamed. "But extra spicy today!" Dann laughed and the waiter looked between him and Yaphit, then simply left.
"So, who are the local singles?" Yaphit prompted.
"Well, I'm the only Beta tester on board the Orville right now. But the app goes live next month and maybe it will catch on here too."
"I'll spread the word."
"Can you imagine?" Dann continued, his eyes wide. "We go to new planets all the time, and I'll be able to see if there are any singles, and interact with them on the app! Maybe even go on Planet and meet someone new."
"How are you going to get down there?"
"I don't know," Dann frowned. "Maybe I could request shore leave."
"We don't hover around planets that long."
"Sometimes we do."
Dann was not the brightest alien that Yaphit had ever met, but this Intergalactic dating app would have never had the chance to be introduced to the crew on the Orville, if Dann hadn't somehow become a Beta tester.
"How did you become a Beta tester for apps?"
"Oh, I'm a top tester! I spend hours on them. Check out this great one, it's called S.M.T.H! You throw your unit up in the air and it calculates the height of the throw! You can download it too and we can see who throws the highest!"
And that's when Yaphit remembered why he never hung out with Dann that Alien.