Aelin
Two more days had passed since the night at the Pits, and Aedion - ever the dramatic bastard - was going out of his mind being stuck in my apartment. He'd caught me returning covered in filth that night after I'd discovered the wrydhound, and seemed to be insistent on driving me insane alongside him.
Even though we both knew he wasn't fit for anything more strenuous than our nightly walks along the roof, it did nothing to stop his grumbling. And damn if he didn't complain endlessly.
Let's just say he was not a fan of my continued trips to the sewers and other nighttime adventures. Today, when I returned from my little confrontation with the Cadre I found him wearing a hole in my carpet, pacing restlessly.
Despite the fact that my plan to lure Lorcan into fighting the Valg guards and wyrdhound had gone flawlessly, my cousin was irate. He'd begun berating me as soon as I walked in the door 'reeking of the sewers', as he put it. Even my - admittedly vague - explanation of the night's activities hadn't calmed him down, setting him off on a tirade of epic proportions.
Not that I didn't understand his concern - the King was growing increasingly volatile the longer we evaded him. Not even his own people were safe from his wrath. Hell, Chaol had delivered the latest round of bad news just the other night.
- - -
The moon shimmered on the tiles beneath us as I helped Aedion walk around the warehouse rooftop. Despite my arm coiled around his waist to support him as we walked, it was clearly an effort for him to keep upright.
Still, the stubborn bastard was determined to regain his strength - even at his own detriment.
I was thankful for the cool night breeze that wrapped around us, chilling the sweat coating my cousin's neck - even if it was laced with the plume of the smoke on the horizon. I'd just managed to convince him to sit down and take a break when the door opened, and Chaol appeared.
I strode towards the captain, something about his demeanor immediately demanding my predatory focus. "What is it?" I asked sharply.
Chaol kicked the door shut behind him, eyes glittering with condemnation. "The Shadow Market is gone."
I stopped short. The Shadow Market - the heart of the city's underworld. Legend claims it was built on the bones of the god of truth so it would keep vendors and would-be thieves honest. You could find anything there, contraband, illicit drugs, spices, clothes - even a certain reactive powder that may or may not have been used in a recent daring rescue.
Either way, it was vital to the livelihood of those the elite deemed 'lesser', to the underworld of the city. Ice coated my veins at the thought of it being gone, or more than likely - destroyed.
"What do you mean?" I demanded.
Chaol's face was drawn tight. "The Valg soldiers. They went to the market and sealed the exits with everyone inside. Then they burnt it. Garrisons of soldiers waited in the sewers to cut down any who tried to escape."
Fuck - the smoke in the air, that plume on the horizon, that's what it was from. Bile rose in my throat as I realized the king had to have lost his mind entirely, so lost to the demonic Valg, to his fury and rage, that he had stopped caring about his public perception at all. His own nation was not even safe from him now.
I knew exactly why the king had done this, but Chaol still added tersely, "Apparently, it got out that the rebels who freed him," Chaol sent a cutting glare towards my cousin, "used supplies that could only be bought at the Shadow Market."
Aedion had risen, and made his way over to stand at my side in a silent show of support. When Chaol's eyes met mine again, I saw it again. That flicker of accusation, of disgust.
Softly, I said, "This is my fault, I suppose?"
Chaol sneered, a muscle flickering in his jaw. "It wasn't an accident that the king ordered their slaughter by fire."
I breathed out slowly through my nose, trying to quell the roiling storm of rage his words invoked. Next to me, Aedion had gone impossibly still.
Aedion growled, low and threatening. "Are you suggesting," he seethed, "that this attack was the fault of my Queen?"
"I'm not suggesting anything," Chaol said tightly, not even sparing a glance towards my cousin, intent on fixing his piercing glare on me. "You risked everything for one man, and now what? The rest of the city and its citizens are expendable?"
Aedion snarled, but I merely narrowed my eyes at the man I had once happily called mine. Fury and indignation licked a fiery path up my spine.
"Need I remind you, Captain, that this is the work of your king?" I hissed. "The king who has enslaved thousands and thousands of people at his salt mines over the years as a part of the war he started? That you yourself went to Endovier and did not blink at those slaves, or at the mass graves of the ones who came before them? You watched Duke Perrington force me to the ground and did nothing, not for me, and not for those people. After all that, you have the nerve to accuse me of not caring?"
Chaol blanched, but did not waver in his glare. The irony of it all was grating, pulling at the ragged edges of my soul. This man had called me a monster, still thought of me as one, yet now it was apparently my responsibility to care for a city that has only ever sought to destroy me.
"How dare you," I said softly. "You don't get to blame me. Not for the Shadow Market, not for the choices of your king - not for any of it."
"The city still needs protecting," Chaol snapped.
I smiled, a dark, serpentine thing. "Even if that protection comes from a monster like me?"
Finally, Chaol had the decency to look away - not that I believed he was actually ashamed.
I scoffed at him. "If I were truly a monster, I'd set this entire vile, festering city ablaze - and dance in the fucking flames."
Without another word, I turned on my heel, stalking off the rooftop and pretending I didn't hear Aedion snarling threats at the captain as I left.
- - -
I was drawn out of my musings by my cousin's next snarled complaint.
"Do you not understand what it's like for me to sit on my ass while you're out doing gods knows what?" Aedion snapped.
"I get it. I do. Probably more than you think," I murmured darkly.
A flash of a memory danced through my mind - of sitting on this same couch, pacing these same carpets, desperately watching the clock for a man who should have returned hours earlier - clinging to the barest thread of hope to rationalize why he was late.
Aedion's voice softened. "What is it that you're doing that's so important it can't wait a day or two, when I'm able to join you?"
"Scouting," I said as calmly as I could. "Testing defenses. Once you're in fighting shape, we will need to move quickly - I need to be prepared."
I understood his frustration, I really did. But I didn't have time to waste - too much had to be done and my hourglass was already rapidly draining.
"And this bullshit with Lorcan, that was a test?" At my nod, he groaned, "For fuck's sake, Aelin - Lorcan? The most powerful demi-fae in the world, touched by Hellas himself?"
"He's not a threat to me," I said simply.
He stared at me, incredulous. "You cannot be serious right now."
I shrugged, unrepentant. It was true. "If you don't like my answers, don't pick fights with me."
He stared at me, and I stared back.
Unyielding, unbreakable. We'd both been cut from the same stubborn cloth. Neither of us were likely to back down, but I was his Queen - for now at least - and he'd have to learn to respect my decisions. Even if he didn't like them.
Especially if he didn't like them.
He loosed a heavy breath, looking down at the scars that encircled my wrists. "It's hard, having you put yourself in danger when I just got you back. I can't help but think all of your scars are my fault," he admitted quietly.
Oh, Aedion. No.
My heart pulsed painfully, so unused to the care and love he so effortlessly bade me. Only my mates had shown me this level of regard, and thinking of them only increased the grief and sorrow weighing heavily on my chest.
But no matter what, I wasn't meant to be cared for, to be happy. I was a weapon, a tool - and eventually Aedion would have to accept that. For now though, I'd comfort my cousin - in the way only we understood.
I forced a mischievous smirk to my lips, tilting my head deviously. "Please," I scoffed, "you think I didn't deserve half of these?" I held out my arm, displaying the small scar on the inside of my forearm. "This was a gift from a man in a tavern after I cheated him in a round of cards and tried to steal his money."
Aedion choked out a laugh, eyes still too solemn for my liking. So kind, so caring, despite the horror's he'd seen.
He'd make an excellent king.
"Don't believe me?" I challenged, eyes dancing with feigned mirth.
He snorted, "Oh, I believe you, I just didn't know you were so bad at cards that you had to resort to cheating."
I walked over to the liquor cabinet, pulling out a wine bottle from inside. Popping open the bottle of wine, I didn't bother grabbing a glass as I slumped onto the couch next to Aedion and took a swig.
"This one," I pointed to a jagged scar by my elbow. "The Pirate Lord of Skulls Bay gave to me after I trashed his entire city, freed his slaves and wracked up a small fortune of a bar tab with no intention of paying."
Aedion grabbed the bottle of wine and took a healthy drink from it. The shadows in his eyes were finally retreating, amusement shining through instead. "Hasn't anyone taught you any manners?"
I grinned at him. "You never learned them, so why should I?"
Aedion laughed, and then showed me his right hand. Several of the fingers were crooked. "In the training camps, one of the Adarlian bastards broke every finger when I mouthed off, and then broke them in a second place when I wouldn't stop swearing at him."
I whistled through my teeth, even as I marveled at my cousin's bravery and defiance. He couldn't have been more than 14 years old at the time. Even defeated, entrenched in the enemy's camp - he'd refused to give in. It was more than I had done.
We traded war stories, laughing and poking fun at each other's most ridiculous moments. The living room was lively and jovial as we passed the bottle back and forth.
Then I gestured to two of the mate marks adorning either side of my neck, "And then of course, there are the scars I wouldn't give up for all the world."
Aedion sobered, looking over my marks with something that suspiciously resembled longing. "What are they like, your mates?" he asked softly.
In another world, another life, he would have been by my side the entire time of what would have been a proper, royal courtship. And he likely would have threatened their lives more than once or twice throughout it. My heart ached for the fact I'd never be able to see my beloved cousin and treasured mates meet.
Even if I did still hope they would find him after ... after I was gone.
"They're brash, arrogant, violent and completely irreverent." I smiled, heart warming at the thought, "I wanted to murder them half the time at first, but they're ... everything I never knew I needed."
Aedion snorted, "Sounds right up your alley."
I smirked deviously at him. "The first time I met Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel, I threw a dagger at Rhysand's head and held a knife to Cassian's throat - after they'd saved me from drowning in a river."
Aedion choked on a laugh. "Of course you did. Those males probably didn't know what hit them."
I couldn't help but add on, "And then I laughed when they told me Rhysand was a High Lord, calling him baselessly arrogant - like all nobles."
Aedion shook his head fondly at me, holding in a snort of laughter. "It's a miracle they didn't gut you on sight."
"Please, I'm much too pretty for that." I winked.
The further into the bottle we got, the more stories I shared of my mates, of my time in Prythian. Aedion especially seemed to enjoy the fact I'd bested Cassian in hand to hand combat and completely undermined Azriel's attempts at spying the first morning of meeting them.
However, he was less impressed with Rhysand's not so traditional proposal.
"So you're telling me that not only did you have to retrieve your own engagement ring from a primordial being, but he didn't even tell you what it was?" Aedion drawled flatly.
I rolled my eyes, "Did you not hear what I said about his mother purposefully placing it there as a test of our bond?"
I'd thought it was sweet, but apparently it didn't meet the lofty standards of my dear cousin.
Aedion sniffed. "Still. You're a queen - of two realms from what you've said - and neither of you even knew you were mates yet. That's hardly proper."
His harsh bark of laughter when I told him where exactly he could shove that propriety had us both collapsing into giggles.
Unfortunately, he was even less pleased to hear about my escapades with the Valg, and not allowing them to help during the attack on Velaris or at Hybern's castle. Let's just say he would absolutely be on my mate's side, and well -
Somehow, that turned into Aedion's slightly inebriated ramblings about how I had no sense of self preservation, that I needed to curb my reckless habits and how I was going to get myself killed if I kept doing stupid things alone. Then he began lamenting on how I should wait for him to be able to join me on my nighttime wanderings, how going up onto the roof wasn't the same as going out, and that he felt like a caged animal while I'd been free to gallivant around the city.
Finally, I'd had enough.
"Alright, alright! Gods you're an annoying drunk," I said, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "I'd rather have you wreck yourself than listen to you whine another moment. You're worse than a child."
Aedion bared his teeth in a smile. "I aim to please."
I rolled my eyes, "Come on, let's get you a real drink."
So we armed ourselves to the teeth, threw on plain, unremarkable clothing, donned our cloaks - and made it all of two steps into the alley before I sensed an approaching female.
Aedion tried to go for his dagger when he scented her a second later, but I stopped him. "It's Nesryn, relax."
Nesryn, cloaked heavily, lifted a hand in greeting. I met her halfway down the block, not bothering to wait for my cousin.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
Nesryn flickered her gaze between me and the male at my back, before settling back on me. "No. I came to update you on a few new nests we've found. I can return later, if you two are busy."
I shrugged, "We were just going to get my dear cousin a drink, a reprieve from gnawing on my furniture like a deranged animal."
I ignored Aedion's indignant scoff from behind me.
Nesryn cocked her head. "Want an extra set of eyes watching your back?"
I paused, contemplating the woman in front of me. She was certainly formidable in her own right, but I was more interested in the subtle influence she seemed to have over Chaol. If she could be swayed to see the benefits of having us allies, well, that could be worthwhile...
Aedion seemed to catch on to my line of thinking, drawling, "What I want is a pretty face that doesn't belong to my cousin, so by all means, please join us."
I jabbed him sharply in the ribs, enjoying his slight hiss of pain.
Nesryn snorted softly. "I don't think you could handle a pretty face in your condition, general."
Aedion grumbled in complaint, but allowed me to lead them both to a remarkably seedy tavern a few blocks away.
Adopting the swagger and menace of Celaena, I kicked out a couple of thieves who had claimed a table in the back. They took one look at my weapons, at the deadly glint in my eyes, and decided they like having their organs inside their bodies.
We sat, heavily hooded, playing games using the pack of cards I'd commandeered from the thieves, with the dried beans that Aedion had charmed out of the serving girl in place of real currency.
A few rounds in, I spoke, gently testing the waters. "So, Nesryn, what would the captain think of you drinking the night away with other males?"
"It's not like that," she said tightly.
I shrugged casually. "Wouldn't make a difference to me either way."
And gods if that wasn't the honest truth.
But the other woman shook her head definitively. "I wasn't considering you, but - it's not like that. I think he's content to be miserable."
Aedion huffed out a low laugh. "Isn't that the truth. I don't think I've ever met a more miserable bastard."
Nesryn hesitated, but said, "We're not enemies. And Chaol's not my keeper."
I lifted my mug of ale to cheers the woman. "Here's to that."
Aedion jutted his chin towards her, "How'd you get involved with the likes of him anyway?"
Nesryn seemed to hesitate, before squaring her shoulders proudly.
"My father owns a bakery in the city, but even as business owners, we didn't escape the impact of our foreign blood," Nesryn stated calmly, any sign of her earlier hesitation washed away. "I became a city guard because not a single one of them came to my aid the day the other school children surrounded me with stones in hand. I will not stand by as another immigrant purge happens, as my sister's children come home day after day with broken noses. I will find a way to attain a better future, no matter what it takes."
Newfound respect for the city guard bubbled up at her words. She was a worthwhile ally indeed.
Sensing her hesitancy to discuss this further, I switched to lighter topics, asking her about her family's bakery, her parent's life on the Southern Continent, her sister and nieces and nephews. I learned a wildly entertaining story about how upset her sister had been about her decision to cut her hair short. Apparently she hadn't spoken to Nesryn for two weeks after the fact.
Throughout it all, Nesryn calmly won hand after hand of cards, drawing increasingly foul curses from my cousin and me.
None of us dared drink too much, and we were still sober - Aedion having come down from his earlier bout of inebriation - when we finally left the drinking hall at its closing hour. Despite the grimy streets, it was a lovely night, so we meandered through the alleys of the slums, in no rush to return to our beds just yet.
Aedion, in particular, seemed to savor every step of freedom. I could tell by the way he held himself, in the deep breathes of open - if not exactly clean - air he gulped down that taking him out tonight had been the right choice. I knew better than most how much being confined like that can grate on your psyche, so I was glad to give him this small reprieve as he healed.
The three of us enjoyed a comfortable silence as we strode down the moon-lit streets, thankful to have a second to just breathe. It was lovely. There were no demands for my time, no looming debts or Valg grunts to impede on this moment.
So of course, it couldn't last.
I picked up the scrape of boots on stones before my companions did, my fae ears catching the sound, and threw up an arm to halt Aedion and Nesryn, who froze with expert silence.
I sniffed the air, but the group - males, from the heft of their footsteps - were downwind. Gavriel had already corralled Lorcan and Fenrys for the night, so I knew it wasn't them ... I listened carefully, unable to help the terrible sense of foreboding that rose within me.
The group moved with the ease of honed predators, and if they weren't the gods-damned Cadre -
No, no it couldn't be -
I'd left them, hadn't told Amren how to get to me -
They were supposed to be safe -
And then their scent hits me, a hint of pine and snow, mist and cedar, rain, salt and citrus, snow-kissed wind and embers.
Four males emerged from the fog; tall, powerfully built, heavily armed and achingly familiar.
My mates.
My crushing relief at seeing them, whole and unharmed, was secondary to the bone-chilling dread that crept alongside the dawning realization that I wasn't hallucinating. They were actually here.
I took a step forward in a daze, a shuddering breath escaping my lungs. A pathetic, whimpering sound threatening to follow, but all I could do was gasp in horror -
"No."