Frustrated.
Aggravated.
Exasperated.
Irate.
All great synonyms for the welling feeling inside of Jaiden.
He hated this fucking case.
All he wanted to do was focus on the job on hand, but his mind kept drifting to his old case. Evidence kept hinting at his old case.
His mind was a mess, and the paperwork was becoming worse. The words started to blur and twist in front of him, and all he wanted to do was punch something. Make the bullshit stop.
But he was sitting on top of three horrific murders and a name that haunted him.
He was also perturbed by Sierra's words about how some men deserved to die. As someone who has already sat as judge and executioner before, he knew it was easier said than done. But someone out there who does not feel the same weight, guilt, and torment that he feels.
And his gut was telling him that this was some 'mission' or 'crusade' for justice. This killer saw his murders as art... and their subtle messages were like a game. A game Jaiden feared he was losing at the moment.
He gave a weary sigh, aware that he needed to get out of his own here. He was tried and fried. His head started to throb, which was always a bad sign. He ripped open a drawer, pulled the painkillers out, popped a couple in his mouth, and swallowed them down with the cold coffee on his desk.
He wanted to ask Toni to leave because he could no longer be productive. He was only going to get increasingly... vexed—another suitable synonym.
Jaden tossed the file on the desk and was just about to ask Toni to head out when the precinct erupted with happy greetings.
"Yo, X! It's been forever!" Someone close to them shouted.
Jaiden sighed from the boisterous noise and rolled his eyes. He didn't bother looking at the people around but noticed Toni's expression. Toni was tense, and his discomfort was palpable. He rolled his shoulder as if he was feeling pain.
"Toni, baby." A sickeningly sweet voice came up next to Jaiden.
Jaiden looked up and saw a slim man with a pretty face and brown immaculately styled hair. The way he looked at Toni was like he wanted to devour him.
"I missed you in Colorado." He said again, completely ignoring Jaiden. He seemed to want Toni to greet him with a hug. His arms were wide open, but Toni didn't stand up and picked up another folder to look through.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, a little stiffer than usual.
"Just visiting some family. I heard you were working a big case." His arms fell to the side but seemed to accept Toni's standoffish attitude. He sat down on the desk between Toni and Jaiden.
"I am. I'm busy." Toni was uncharacteristically gruff, which surprised Jaiden.
"Too busy for me?"
The sickening sweet tone of the man's voice already set Jaiden on edge, but the flirtatious whining truly irked him. How can someone whine and flirt simultaneously and keep a straight face?
Jaiden gave the man an annoyed look, which did not go unnoticed. The man clicked his tongue with annoyance and turned his attention back to Toni.
However, Toni was not pleased and tossed the file on the desk roughly. "What are you doing here?"
"To visit my family, baby."
Jaiden's jaw clenched, and he tried to focus on the paperwork in his hands. However, the familiarity between Toni and this man was pushing him over the edge. Why was he calling Toni 'baby'?
Toni sighed. "I meant the precinct. Why are you here." He waved his hand to indicate the room.
"I missed you. I was hoping you would be coming up to Denver soon, considering they have been hounding you to take that open position." He said.
Jaiden looked up and caught Toni's eye. "You haven't answered them yet?" He asked, his voice was slightly on edge.
They have joked about it a couple of times, regurgitating the list to have him stay in New Mexico, but it never quite hit him that Toni had not replied to them. He had hoped that his mind was made up and didn't realize it was still up in the air for him.
He felt his stomach lurch, thinking of Toni leaving when they were getting close. Was he wasting his time? Or had he hesitated too much that Toni had his eyes on a way out? Did his lack of commitment make Toni want to have an escape plan?
What if he wasn't enough to make him stay?
The self-doubt started to sink its claws into him, and he began to regret his passiveness. He should have been more assertive like this bastard was. He should have taken the initiative more often.
While lost in his gnawing thoughts, the man gave Jaiden an annoyed look. "Who are you?"
Toni looked between them with a bit of panic settling in his eyes. "My partner, Jaiden Ryder."
The man scoffed. "Please, he looks like a child. There's no way he's a detective."
Jaiden continued to ignore him, so Toni answered in his stead. "He's younger than me, which only emphasizes his capabilities as a detective. He's an asset and a good partner to have."
The man gave a condescending laugh. "Toni, I know how you like your partners. How about you team up with me on this case, and we'll solve it faster."
That comment was enough to pull Jaiden out of his thoughts, but he didn't have the energy to have a dick measuring contest. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, already regretting engaging in this man's theatrics. "I'm going for a smoke."
He said and tossed the folder on the desk and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his drawer.
The man smirked at Jaiden. "Not even going to fight me on this one?"
Jaiden sighed. "I don't even know who the fuck you are. Why waste my time?"
He stood up and held out his hand. It looked far too delicate to be a cop. He seemed to be a desk man. "Xavier Lopez. I'm Toni's partner."
Toni stood up. "Ex-partner."
Jaiden frowned and looked at the hand but didn't shake it. "Funny. You claim you can solve this faster than me, but you're a shit detective."
Xavier dropped his hand, and his pretty face turned into a scowl. "What the hell?"
"If you knew anything about me, then you're purposely riling me up, which is something I wouldn't recommend. That's a fight you cannot win. If you didn't know who I was, you're talking a lot of shit in unknown territory. Either way, you're proving my point. Do us all a favor, and stand down. You're out of your jurisdiction and your element." Jaiden said quietly.
Xavier's face contorted in anger. "Jaiden Ryder. I know who you are. The last partner you had died on your watch."
Jaiden felt a wave of rage wash over him.
However, before Jaiden could react to Xavier's crass words, Toni has slammed him against the wall by the collar. Xavier looked at him with wide eyes and pure shock.
"What the fuck, Xavier?" Toni roared. No one bothered to stop them because they were all reeling from his words.
Xavier used to work In Albuquerque with them, and they had liked him. He was friendly toward everyone, so they never expected him to say something like this.
Jaiden didn't explode as everyone expected. He only sighed. "Fucking petty toddler." He ran his hand through his hair and focused a stern glare his way. "You were Toni's partner in Colorado, right?"
Toni still had him against the wall but loosened his grip when he heard the eerie calm in Jaiden's voice. He looked back with concern.
Xavier felt the change of Toni's grasp and pushed him off. "I was."
Jaiden nodded. "I have been wondering about something for a while. Where were you?"
"What?"
"When Toni was injured. What were you doing?" Jaiden clarified.
Xavier shifted slightly, his eyes darting towards Toni, who had stepped away and crossed his arms across his chest.
"I don't see why that's your business." He muttered.
Jaiden chuckled. "You're adamant to partner with Toni, so I wanted to know where you were when he got hurt out of simple curiosity. But don't feel pressured to answer."
Toni clicked his tongue. "He was getting laid."
Xavier flinched, and there was some murmuring from the other cops.
Xavier tried to give Toni a helpless look. "You should have called me."
Toni raised an eyebrow. "I did. But the case was time-sensitive, and I didn't have the luxury to wait while you got fucked."
"Toni, it was a misunderstanding." He whined, which only made Toni look more annoyed.
Jaiden ran his hand through his hair. "I don't think you understand that we have to rely on each other and luck in this line of work. Luck is inconsistent, but your partner should never be. My luck fucked me over two years ago, but I was fucking there. I didn't abandon my partner."
He stepped forward and realized his 6' frame towered over the man. He roughly grabbed Xavier's jaw and looked him over. "You're a good-looking motherfucker, but don't think that will protect you if you piss me off again. Next time you bring up my old partner, try to steal my case or attempt to poach my new partner, I will break your pretty fucking face."
He stepped back and turned on his heel, leaving Xavier to stare at his backside.
As Jaiden leaned up against the wall and lit his cigarette, it was already dark outside. The door slammed open when he was on his second cigarette, and a fuming Xavier stomped outside. He looked over and made eye contact with Jaiden.
"Listen, you little bitch, I don't know who you think you are or what you did with Toni, but you are not taking him from me." Xavier hissed.
Jaiden raised an eyebrow as he took a long drag on his cigarette.
"Let me wrap my head around this... you and Toni were partners in more ways than one, right?" Jaiden asked, already hating the answer.
Xavier seemed to puff his chest out a little. "Yes."
Jealousy coursed through Jaiden. It burned like he just took a shot of Monte Alban mezcal. But instead of breaking the bastard's nose, he brought the cigarette back to his lips.
"Were you in a relationship when he was shot?"
Xavier nervously bit his lip. "Why?"
"I'm asking if you were fucking around when you were in a relationship with Toni." Jaiden's voice was low and came out like a growl.
"We... we were in a shaky place then." He said, refusing to look Jaiden in the eyes.
Jaiden groaned a little. He knew that there was history between the two, but this was a little more than he expected. Toni was dating his partner and while he was laying on the floor bleeding, his partner was cheating on him. When he asked where Xavier was in front of Toni, he must have reopened an emotional wound.
He dropped his cigarette on the ground and stamped it out with his shoe.
"Here's the thing, Xavier, you fucked up. Not only did you cheat on Toni, you put his life in danger. You decided that your dick was more important than your partner." Jaiden's voice trembled with anger.
Xavier looked uncomfortable. "I'm trying to make it right."
Jaiden shook his head. "I won't let you have that opportunity. You don't fucking deserve it"
He stalked over to Xavier until he was a little too close. "He was alone with bullets embedded in his body for hours and you never even bothered to look for him. If he ever disappeared on me, I will burned the fucking world to the ground to find him." He grabbed Xavier's collar. "Back the fuck off and go back to Colorado. Toni is with me now."
"W...with you?" Xavier stammered. He couldn't see someone like Jaiden be with Toni. Both seemed to like to have control at all times.
Jaiden gave a cold laugh. "Like I said back there, try to poach my partner, and I'll break your face. However, if you try to steal my boyfriend, and I'll break everything else in your scrawny body."
Xavier stumbled backwards. "You're insane."
Jaiden scoffed at the reaction. "I'm pissed off. There is a difference between the two, albeit the difference is minimal."
Xavier hardened his face. "You're holding him back if you make him stay here."
This made Jaiden falter. "I dare you to repeat that, motherfucker."
"Denver wants him not as just a detective, but the future of their precinct. He would be slated for the Violent Crimes unit's Lieutenant. Give him a few years, then he could reach Commander. He even has the capabilities to become Chief. Why do you think the offer has been open for months? That's how bad they want him back."
Jaiden was taken back. It was supposed to be a linear move. Nothing was supposed to change except for Toni's location. But this was a future, a bright one. Could he truly be the one to hold him back?
The doors opened again and Toni sauntered out with Jaiden's jacket in hand. He faltered for a moment to see the proximity of the two men in front of him.
He coughed a little. "Xavier, you need to leave. Jaiden, let's go home."
He handed Jaiden his jacket and steered him to the car. Before they could get to the car, Xavier called out to them. "Denver is waiting, Toni. You're future is there."
Jaiden sat in the passenger seat in silence, looking out the window.
He did know what bothered him more, Xavier believing he had every right to make a move on Toni, or that the offer in Colorado was still there—opened and untouched.
Who was he kidding? He hated Xavier, but he knew that the gut wrenching feeling he had stemmed from the idea of Toni leaving. It always bothered him and tugged at his soul, but know it seemed unbearable. It was nearly breaking him.
Too many things have become important to him. To many small moments have been engrained. He enjoyed working with Toni, their partnership was flawless. But he truly loved going home with him at the end of the day. He loved their light conversations while picking out the tequila of the night. He loved falling asleep in his arms and waking up together so they can watch the sunrise together. He loved the intimate moments under the golden and pink skies when the world was still at peace.
Jaiden faltered. Love?
He was falling.
He couldn't stop himself. But perhaps he always knew, which was why he resisted so much.
He should have known when he got off that elevator he wanted to chase after Toni. He should have known when he was far too remorseful when he realized he didn't get Toni's number. He should have known when he would wander down the streets, or search in the grocery store, or mall, hoping to finder those dark entrancing eyes.
He should have known when he melted under his touch when they met again. And how he wanted to turn around when he left that first night. God, he should have known when he never left after their first day working together.
He wasn't falling... he already fell.
He finally understood his heart, the thing that he was running from. He wanted a future with Toni, a forever with Toni. He thought that Toni possibly wanted one too, his words to scream it. But with Colorado's offer was still on the table, and it wasn't an ordinary opportunity. If it was a joke, or something he didn't care about, why hasn't he answered?
Now that Jaiden wanted to be all in, it seemed like Toni had one foot out the door.