Sorry this chapter took so long to get out, my mom relapsed so I've been having major PTSD episodes and it's been really hard to focus with her blasting music, yelling, and just being really drunk.
So here's what you missed last week;
Quinn's parents found out she's pregnant because Finn told them in song. So they kicked her out and now she's living between Finn and Y/n's houses. Everyone still thinks Finn is the father, though really it's Puck. Oh, and Quinn's developing a crush on Y/n even though she's with Finn. And that's what you missed on glee.
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Sue Sylvester walked up to Will as he sat alone at a table in the break room grading papers. She dropped her cheer magazine on the table to get his attention, "Hey fella. So, unless my recent write-up here in Splits! magazine naming me cheerleading coach of the decade has me driven completely insane, I'm pretty sure you and I had an agreement that you were going to show me your glee club set list for sectionals." Mr Schuester shook his head, "Sorry, Sue. I didn't think you were all that interested in glee club anymore." "Not interested? Well, I'm the fine arts administrator or something." Sue said as she took a sip of her coffee. "Um, well, I will make sure you get a copy." "That'd be fantastic. I'd hate to have to go to Figgins about this. Hey, Will?" Mr Schue sighed annoyed, just wanting to go back to his paperwork. "Yes?" "I'd like my magazine back, please." Will slid the magazine back across the table for Coach Sylvester to take. "Thank you."
Schuester– Here's the problem with Sue Sylvester. You never quite know where you stand. I knew she was up to something.
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"Five, six, seven, eight," Schue started an eight count as he taught the kids the choreography he came up with for their sectionals number. "Step-ball change. Step, step. Un, da, seven eight." Mr Schuester turned around to see how the kids were doing when he spotted Brittany on her phone recording the choreo. "Brittany," He said her name to get her attention. "Coach Sylvester didn't tell me to do this." She quickly denied as she moved her hand behind her back.
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"She's leaking our competitive set list to the other school. If the other glee clubs get set lists and videos, they'll know exactly how to beat us at sectionals." Will explained to Emma as he paced in her office. "Well, first, don't let Sue distract you. All right? And if you can't take Muhammad to the mountain, then you've got to get Muhammad to bring the mountain down to his house. Muhammad's house, where ever he's staying." Mr Schue shook his head, "I don't understand." "Look, you should drive over to Jane Addams Academy and ask the director point-blank. If something's going on, you'll know." Will nodded at her idea.
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"Ok guys, so, first of all, I want to welcome Miss Hitchens and the Jane Addams glee club." Mr Schuester said to his glee club as they sat in the auditorium. "We're all very happy to have you guys here. So, um, we're gonna let you guys start us off. Let's see what you got." Mr Schuester walked off the stage to join his students in the audience.
The McKinley glee club slowly began to clap, shell-shocked by the other club's performance. The girls cheered as they left the auditorium to return to their own school. Rachel moved from her seat to sit behind her teacher, "Mr Schue, you seem concerned." "What? No. I mean, they were great. But we're just as good." Rachel leaned forward onto the back of Will's seat. "Mr Schue, if I may, what they were doing was just all smoke and mirrors. It's called 'hairography'." Mr Schuester turned to look at his student, "What?" "Hairography. All the whizzing of their hair around just to distract from the fact that they're not really good dancers and their vocals were just so-so. Trust me. We have nothing to be afraid of."
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"All right, guys, I did some thinking last night." Mr Schue said as he entered the choir room full of club members. "I think I found our new number for sectionals. We're gonna do the title song from 'Hair.' Now, this show started a revolution." Puck spoke up starting a chorus of questions, "Wait did they have mohawks back then? Like in the '20s or whatever." "Yeah, Mr Schue, if we're gonna do a song about hair, shouldn't we have more hair?" Schuester pulled his bag off of his shoulder, "One step ahead of you. Here are your wigs." Rachel stood up from her seat as he tossed the bag at Finn, "Mr Schuester. What are you doing? We are fine the way we are. We don't need hairography. It's just a distraction." Mr Schue looked back at the rest of the club members, "Look, I have to be honest. Those Jane Addams girls did freak me out a little. And I'm worried about our chances for sectionals. I mean, we have to pull out all the stops if we wanna win." Rachel nodded, still very doubtful of her teacher's decision. William let out a laugh as he looked at all the guys in wigs, "lookin' great, guys."
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Y/n walked faster down the hall to catch up with Quinn, handing her a book titled 'How To Raise A Baby On Five Dollars A Day.' "Saw it on the shelf in the guest bedroom when we were cleaning it out for you yesterday. Thought I might as well give it to you in case you can't find it a home or, y'know, decide you wanna keep it." Quinn looked over to the boy, a genuine smile on her face, "That is so sweet. To be honest, I really don't know what I'm gonna do about it anymore. My mind's pretty messed up about everything." Quinn slowed to a stop as they reached one of the doors to the choir room. "Well, whatever you decide. No pressure. And I know it's not my business but my mom and I are here if you need any more help." Y/n gave her a tight-lipped smile as he walked into the choir room.
Quinn– Thank god for Y/n. Thanks to him, I'm starting to realize that what I need right now, even more than looser pants, is acceptance. Everyone is putting so much pressure on me. It's so easy for them to be distracted. I don't have that luxury. I'm under siege. Maybe the problem isn't that I don't wanna keep the baby. The problem is that I don't wanna keep the baby with Finn. Maybe I didn't give Puck enough of a chance, or maybe I should choose a new guy altogether. But despite Puck being the real dad he's still a douche, and Y/n and his mom have been there for me from the get-go, even when I was a total bitch to him. Finn would freak if I started spending time with either of them though, especially Puck. You'd think the guy would have more trust in his best friend. I need to distract him so that I can take Puck for a test drive, and if that fails I've got Y/n. But how?
Quinn looked over from her boyfriend to Rachel as she openly eyed him like a lovesick puppy.
Quinn– Mmm. Forget about it. She looks like a five-year-old. Still, maybe with a little bit of makeup.
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Quinn sped up her walk to catch up with Kurt as the dismissal bell rang. "Hey, Kurt, can I pick your pink brain for a second?" "Why, hello, Quinn. To what do I owe the honor? I do believe this is the first time you've ever spoken to me." Kurt asked as he gave her a quick once over. "I'm sorry about that. Anyways, I have a proposition to make. A makeover." Kurt snapped his head to face her, "I'm in. Makeovers are like crack to me. My suggestion: Spankx. Or a double-knit camisole with a control top for the baby bump. Also, babydoll dresses; dead giveaway." The blonde's smile dropped for a second out of annoyance, "Not for me. For Rachel." Kurt let out a chuckle, "Any why would I wanna do that? I admit I like a challenge as much as the next guy, but somehow Rachel manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time."
"My point exactly," Quinn said as the two of them stopped walking. "You're as concerned about the glee club succeeding as I am. And she's a distraction. Look at her. She's wearing a pantsuit." Kurt spared a glance at Rachel, a shocked look of disgust growing on his face as he spotted her in a bright blue pantsuit. "Don't you think the judges are gonna take one look at her and maybe wanna knock her down a peg or two?" Kurt raised his chin, 'And to think I thought you were a dumb blonde. Deal."
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Rachel let out a wince as Kurt ripped the wax strips off from under her eyebrow. "The key is to never wax above the eyebrow. Always shape from below," Kurt explained as Rachel held her eyelids in pain. "Trust me. I get a lot of practice. Look at mine." Rachel let out a sigh as Kurt fixed his hair in her vanity mirror. "Kurt, why did you volunteer to give me a new look?" She asked, making eye contact through the mirror. "One, I'm a sucker for makeovers. And two, you need something to distract from your horrible personality. Most of the time, I find it hard to be in the same room with you." Kurt said as Rachel swiveled in her plush chair to face him. "Especially this one. Which looks like where Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobbie come to hook up." Kurt said in disdain as he backed up to sit on her bed. "You're extremely talented, Rachel. Watching you perform is amazing. But sometimes it's hard to appreciate what a good singer you are because all I'm thinking about is shoving a sock into your mouth." Kurt explained making the brunette look down to her lap.
"Well, what kind of makeover did you have in mind?" Kurt took in a deep breath as he thought, "We need to broaden your appeal. I want every boy in school to do a double take when you strut past." Kurt said leaning back onto his hands as Y/n entered the room with a duffle bag. "Sorry I'm late," Kurt furrowed his brows in confusion. "What are you doing here?" Y/n shrugged off the bag onto the floor, "One, to stop you from going too far with this makeover. Two, because Quinn thought that our two completely different tastes in fashion would somewhat cancel each other out." Kurt rolled his eyes as he nodded, "Make sense I guess considering you dress like a Nirvana groupie." Rachel leaned forward in her chair, ignoring Y/n's entrance, "Well, there's really only... one boy that I'd like to impress. Can you guys keep a secret?" The two others in the room nodded, "I'm in love with Finn." "Really?" Y/n and Kurt said at the same time, Y/n voice full of sarcastic shock while Kurt masked his previous awareness.
Rachel nodded, "I understand completely. Let's move on to makeup," Kurt said as he stood from Rachel's bed, Y/n immediately moving his bag to where he once sat. "I brought some of my mom's old clothes from when she was in high school, we might need to wash 'em before you wear 'em though since they've been sitting in a cardboard box hidden in her closet for years." Kurt turned Rachel around to face the vanity again as she watched Y/n open the bag. "I happen to know for a fact that Finn is attracted to loose women." Kurt said as Rachel sunk into herself from the cotton swab he was using to clean off her face. "What? Quinn is so wholesome." Kurt threw the cotton swab into the mini trash bin by her vanity, "Let me put this into musical theater parlance. In Grease, what did Sandy do to get Danny Zuko?" He asked, moving to lean against the back of her chair while Y/n laid out some outfits on Rachel's bed. "She had to ditch the poodle skirt and slap on a catsuit. In short, she had to dress like a hoe. Maybe if your look was better, more desirable, Finn would be in your arms right now."
Kurt turned around to see three different outfits on the bed amidst some other individual articles of clothing. One was a knee-length black leather skirt paired with a Bikini Kill band shirt and holey tights, the next was a floral skirt that reached about mid-calf with a plain black cami, and lastly a white cropped turtleneck with zebra print flare pants. "And to think I assumed you would have terrible taste." Y/n placed his hand over his heart in faux offense, "You wound me, Kurt."
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"Look, we had no intention of discriminating against your glee club, Mr Rumba." Mr Schuester said as he presses his palms together. "We extended an invitation to the Jane Addams Academy to perform because we're lucky enough to have better facilities than they do." The other teacher shook his head, "And you don't think we have the same problem? I run the glee club at a school for the deaf. Do you think I'm rolling around in deaf choir money? Sure, my kids may be deaf, but that shouldn't distract everyone from the fact that they still have a song in their heart," Mr Rumba continued to rant as his phone rang. "And they should have the same chance as everyone else to express it. now, I had scarlet fever as a kid, leaving me deaf in one ear. So I remember what it's like to have full hearing. But my poor kids don't know the difference. All they know is that they love performing, and then they have to hear that McKinley went and invited those bad girls to the school? That's just not fair. It's not fair," Mr Schuester pointed at him, "I think your phone's ringing." "What?" "Your phone's ringing," Mr Schue said once more. "No I got it on vibrate," The other teacher denied, "All I'm saying is that it would be nice if you went and hosted another scrimmage and had the courtesy to invite us this time."
Mr Schuester nodded, "I couldn't agree more." "What's that?" "I said, I agree with you." Mr Rumba shook his head, "Ok, I can't hear you. Talk into this ear. Scarlet fever." Mr Schuester raised his voice a bit, "You're on! Um, how's Monday?" "No. It has to be Monday." Mr Schue nodded, "Yes. Alright. Monday. I-I can't wait to- to see the kids do their numbers." Mr Schue moved his hands along with his words since the other teacher was having trouble understanding him. "Well, you don't have to make fun of me with those hand gestures." "I-I- No. I didn't- I didn't mean to." Mr Rumba reached into his suit pocket to pull out his phone, "Ok. Let me check with my secretary. Oh damn, four missed calls." He looked up from his phone, "What's that?" "Oh, I- I didn't say anything." Mr Rumba nodded, "Yes. Thank you. I take it black, two sugars." Mr Schuester sat there flabbergasted as the other man called his secretary back.
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Rachel nervously walked down the McKinley halls, instead of her usual sweater and knee-length skirt she wore a dress that Y/n had left behind in the small pile of clothes on her bed. "Hey, Rachel," Finn said as he stopped in his tracks to turn and face her. "Oh, Hey Finn. I didn't see you there." Rachel said turning to face him and then brushing her hair out of her face. "Did you want to ask me something?" Finn gaped, trying to remember what he was going to say. "Uh, yeah. I- I just forgot. I got distracted," Finn said, not so subtly looking at her boobs. "I'm glad I got your attention. I wanted to know if you wanted to come over on Friday night. As someone who's had long, luxurious locks since I was a toddler in the pageant circuit, I figured I could give you some... tips on our Hair number." Finn snapped back to reality as Rachel finished speaking. "Yeah, that- that'd be great. Uh-" He cut himself off as the shorter girl smiled, "Great. How's 8:00?" "8:00 is terrific. It's terrific."
Rachel turned and continued down her original path, leaving Finn standing there staring at her as she walked away. Kurt moved away from his locker to walk alongside her. "Objective achieved. Commence phase two." Finn turned around waving as he spotted his girlfriend, "Hey Quinn." He walked over to her, "I, uh, wanted to ask your permission to maybe do something on Friday night if you're-" Quinn cut him off, "Oh, that's fine. I'm babysitting anyways." Finn swayed back onto the balls of his feet, "Oh, uh, cool. I'll see you." Once Finn walked away Quinn was quick to approach Puck, "Hey! What are you doing on Friday?" She asked with a smile. "Just the usual. I was gonna stand outside the 7-Eleven looking depressed until someone offered to buy me a beer, but- What's going on?" Quinn leaned forward a bit, taking some pressure off of her kitten heels. "You wanna maybe babysit with me?" Puck thought for a moment before smiling.
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"Some of you, particularly the guys, have come up to me with some questions about hairography. One of our own has volunteered to walk us through it. She has got it down. Brittany, take it away," Mr Schue said to the lined-up glee kids, Brittany fiddling with her ponytail next to him. "Take what away?" She asked, looking at him confused. "Show us what you got." She nodded, taking a step forward. "So, hairography; It works best when you pretend like you're getting tasered. So you just move your head around like you're spazzing and stuff." She reached up and took out her ponytail to demonstrate. "See, you guys, it's like cool epilepsy." The group in front of her tried their best to imitate what she did. "Good, guys. Just relax and go for it." Mr Scue encouraged. The kids stopped practicing when they hear Will's shouts from outside the door. "I resent that accusation, William." They heard Sue's voice alongside Schuester's, "And one I understand you've been making to our friends at Heverbrook and Jane Addams. And it's an outrageous affront to my sterling reputation! That being said, fine. I have been checking up on you. Because I don't like what's going on in there. Do you know why I make each of my Cheerios wear her hair pulled back in a ponytail? Because I don't want to distract from her impeccable talent. You seem to be taking the opposite approach, Will. And that leads me to believe you know your kids don't have what it takes." She said, getting up in his face.
"I believe in my kids," Mr Schue denied. "Well, maybe in the beginning, but not now, now that you've seen the competition that threatens your very position at this school! You're going to give me an updated set list by 5:00 tomorrow. And if there's anything on that list that involves demeaning, fruity hair tossing, I'm cutting it." Mr Schue calmly stuck his finger in her face, "I will not let you dictate my number choices. And you are not getting that list." Sue shrugged, "Well, then I'm back as co-director." William let out a sigh as Coach Sylvester walked away, turning to re-enter the choir room to see his students grouped together in front of the door. "Ok, guys, from the top."
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"You set me up! With Finn!" Rachel said angrily as she slammed Kurt's locker shut. "Looks like someone is running for drama queen again," Kurt said annoyed, adjusting the book bag on his shoulder. "How could you do that? I thought we were friends." "And what made you think that?" Kurt asked. "You should be thanking me. All I did was help you realize that your schoolgirl fantasy of running off with Finn was nothing but a fairytale." Rachel's eyes widened as she realized, "You like him. Yeah. That's- That's what this is. And you were just trying to eliminate the competition." Kurt gaped for a moment, "I was just helping him understand that you are not a viable second choice." He said annoyed as he turned to walk away from her, Rachel following after him. "You think I'm a second choice?" She asked her voice breaking a bit. "A distant second." "You think I'm living in a fairytale? If I were second or 50th, I'd still be ahead of you, because I'm a girl." Kurt nodded, "Ok, here's the dope, princess. There's no hope for either of us. He loves Quinn. They're having a baby together. We're nothing but distractions. The sooner we realize that, the better." Kurt said turning and leaving Rachel for a final time as she stood there shellshocked.
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Santana slammed Quinn's locker shut, "Keep your paws off my man. Clear?" She said pushing off the locker next to Quinn's making the blonde scoff. "Who's your man?" Santana turned back around, "Don't play stupid, tubbers. Oh, and for the record, asking someone to babysit with you is so 90s." "I happen to know that Puck cares about me." Santana rolled her eyes, "Oh wake up. While you two were babysitting, Puck and I were sexting." Quinn raised a brow, "Sexting?" "Sexy texting. Seriously, what era are you from? While you two were playing house, Puck and I were trading super hot texts. Why don't you check his cell phone? 'Cause my sexts are too hot to erase." Santana said, giving Quinn a once over before walking away.
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"Thank you all for coming," Mr Schue moved his hands as he spoke, the glee kids standing in a line where the chairs usually sat. "We are so honored to have you guys here. So, without further ado, I present the New Directions." He said, moving out of the way and signaling the band to play the music.
The Heverbrook glee club sat confused and uncomfortable as they watched the other club finish their performance. "It didn't work at all, did it?" Rachel asked as she moved to stand next to her teacher. "That was just the rehearsal. It's still just a little rough. But we're on to something." Rachel let out a sigh as she joined the rest of her school's club switching places with the Heverbrook club.
The two groups laughed and high five at the unexpected joined performance. The event had Mr Schue reconsidering his original idea as he watched his students mingle.
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Quinn stormed over to where Puck stood talking to a girl outside his locker and pulled his phone from where it sat inside the metal. "Hey, babe," Puck greeted her, confused as to why she was going through his phone. "Um, you really don't wanna do that." She held the phone screen up to his view, "You lied to me." He grabbed the phone from her hand and placed it back in his locker, "I'm sorry. I tried to resist Santana. I did. but I'm young, and girls have this power over me. But, hey, it's all good." "It's definitely not all good. I thought you wanted to be with me." Puck shrugged, "I do- like a lot. But you haven't given it up to me since the night I knocked you up, and- Baby, I'm a dude. I have needs." Quinn shook her head, "So you expect to raise a baby with me and text dirty messages to every other girl at this school if I don't give it up to you every day?" Puck furrowed his brows, "No. Just the hot girls." Quinn scoffed. "Look. I'm gonna be a good dad, but I'm not gonna stop being me to do it."
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"We're starting from scratch. Grab a stool." Mr Schue instructed the club members. "So we're a stool choir now?" Artie asked as he looked down at the sheet music. "No. We're not dancing with the stools. No gimmicks. No false theatricality. We're just gonna sit in them and sing." Rachel smiled and nodded as she scanned over the sheet music, "Thanks, Mr Schuester."
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"This is their set list from sectionals," Sue Sylvester said as she moved the sheet of paper to face the two show choir teachers. "'Don't Stop Believing' that's in. 'Proud Mary' performed in wheelchairs. That's in. Now, I suggest you take these two songs, split them between your two groups, and I'll pull some strings and make sure that Schuester and his group perform last. That way, it'll look like he stole the songs from you." Miss Hitchens looked to the teacher sat next to her and then back to Coach Sylvester, "Um, who do you think I am?" Sue smiled, "That's actually a very good question because I've forgotten both of your names." Miss Hitchens tilted her head, "Look, I spend every waking hour of my day trying to teach those girls that lying and cheating is not the way you're ever gonna get ahead. And you're suggesting that I do exactly that so they can win a singing competition?" "Yeah, pretty much." Miss Hitchenss scoffed and Sue let out a sigh as she took off her glasses. "I think you're missing an opportunity to give your girls a second chance. These McKinley kids are gonna do fine. But outside of glee club. your girls don't have a heck of a lot going for them. And I'd hate to see them so devastated by losing that they give up entirely."
Sue turned her attention to Mr Rumba, "You know how many deaf choirs have won this competition?" "Ok, everybody's gonna need to speak up, because I can't hear. Deaf in one ear. Scarlet fever." Sue pointed up to her mouth, "I assume you read lips. Read these. Never let anything distract you from winning... Ever"
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