Headaches & Hazbins: Book 1:...

Von Specterpants

7.3K 177 149

Ya either go up or down... A small-time robber, Asher C. Burns, takes the trip down after he meets his end in... Mehr

Bio/Info
Chapter 1: Sacrifice
Chapter 2: Hell-O!
Chapter 3: We'll Be Right Back!
Chapter 4: Clang Clang Clang
Chapter 5: Workaholics
Chapter 6: Dress to Impress
Chapter 7: You Don't Mess With Crows
Chapter 9: Crow Collectors
Chapter Egg: Humpty Dumpty Dumbass Fucking Demon
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Part 1
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Part 2
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Part 3
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Part 4
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Finale
Chapter 11: Exterminated
Chapter 12: Herr Doktor
Chapter 13: Joyride
Chapter 14: Roadtrip!!!: Part 1
Chapter 14: Roadtrip!!!: Part 2
Chapter 14: Roadtrip!!!: Part 3
Chapter ???: The Crow
Chapter 15: By a Campfire on the Overlook
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 1
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 2
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 3
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 4
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 5
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 6
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Finale
Chapter 17: Where Did You Go?
Chapter 18: Ain't No Club Like Fight Club: Part 1
Chapter 18: Ain't No Club Like Fight Club: Part 2
Chapter 18: Ain't No Club Like Fight Club: Part 3
Chapter 18: Ain't No Club Like Fight Club: Finale
Chapter 19: Dazed and Confused
Chapter 20: The False Exterminator
-=Howdy! I'm Still Alive, I swear!=-

Chapter 8: Wrench In My Plans

221 7 3
Von Specterpants


A Week and A Half Later...

[Asher is sitting in Jerry's workshop asleep. He's sitting in a chair next to a table with some blueprints, a toolbox and some tools, a cigarette tray, and the Radio he got from Pim sitting on it. The truck, a crate labeled "Spare Parts", and about a dozen bottles of booze, which are all empty, rest around him. Asher is sitting in the chair with his arms hanging lazily off the side of it, his head is leaning lazily over the top back of the chair. There also seems to be a book opened over his face and an empty booze bottle in his hand. The title of the book reads "Creature From Hell, Book of Birds" and the booze bottle in his left hand seems to be empty like all the rest. His Radio on the table next to him is on and playing some lovely classical music. Asher seems to be peacefully sleeping in the workshop, it looks like he was working on the truck, decided to drink and read at the same time, then fell asleep. Phenomenal. He seems to be the only person in the workshop, Jerry's nowhere in sight. A few seconds later the music playing on the radio stops, after a brief few seconds of silence, the two news anchors, Bradley and Bentley begin to speak.]

Bentley: (Through Radio) Good morning Pentagram City!

Bradley: (Through Radio) Oh shit we're live? I didn't drink my coffee yet, Ben take this one for me. I'm hungover.

Bentley: (Through Radio) Of course!

Bradley: (Through Radio & Distant) Ehhhhh...

Bentley: (Through Radio) As I said before, Good Morning Pentagram City! It's currently 8:00 a.m. on a quite horrid Wednesday! As of now, the weather is somewhat tame but incredibly hot. However, I'm sure everyone down here is used to that by now...

*Clank*

[The door to the workshop clanks, it opens up as Jerry pushes the door open. He's slouching more than usual and looks completely exhausted. He's got bags under his eyes and looks half asleep.]

Jerry: *Tired Groan* Ughhhh...

[Jerry walks into the workshop and closes the door behind himself. He rubs his eyes a bit and stretches up completely. For once he stands up completely so he can stretch his back. It seems he's grown in height, he now looks to be about 9 feet tall. He stops stretching and continues to slouch down once again. He starts walking over to one of the workbenches in the workshop.]

Bentley: (Through Radio) Besides the heat there doesn't seem to be much going on in our terrible City today, but on a brighter note, the Cannibal Carnival has once again returned to the Eastern side of Pentagram City!

[Jerry reaches the workbench and picks up a clipboard holding a few pieces of paper resting on it. He reads the first piece of paper and scratches the back of his head.]

Bentley: (Through Radio) Yes! Indeed! The Carnival that will settle all your carnivorous needs is finally back! So to all of those with a taste for blood, flesh, and bone go and visit while you still can before they pack up and leave for the next year! Or two months... I'm not sure how often they show up, they seem to be very inconsistent...

Demon: (Through Radio & Yelling) Get on with it!

Bradley: (Through Radio) Right, right! Anywho! If you're interested in beating the heat or filling up your stomach and then vomiting it all out on one of the carnival's many rides then hurry up and make your way to the Southside of the City! I must remind everyone that eating somebody to move up in the line is strictly forbidden! *Chuckles* The-

[Jerry grumbles to himself while Bradley rambles on about the Cannibal Carnival. Jerry rubs his temple and lets out a tired groan.]

Jerry: *Tired Groan* Ughhh... I gotta stop staying up until four working on blueprints... *Tired Groan* Ehhhhh... At least I think it was four... *Tired Sigh* Aww fuck...

[Jerry stops rubbing his temple and shakes his head.]

Jerry: Mmmm... What do we have on the schedule today?

[Jerry reads the writing on the clipboard out loud.]

Jerry: "Collect the other half of the payment from the gang on the Southwest side of the City. $4,000, Total. $2,000 Today."

[Jerry flips over to the next page on the clipboard.]

Jerry: Ehh? Is that it?

[He lets go of the paper, letting it rest back on the clipboard.]

Jerry: Guess it's a slow day...

[Jerry tosses the clipboard back onto the workbench. He crosses his arms and looks around his workshop.]

Jerry: This place could use a bit of cleaning... But that's usually Asher's job... Speaking of which.

[Jerry's gaze stops over at Asher who still seems to be asleep in the chair near the truck.]

Jerry: He fell asleep in the workshop once again... Then again, I do that twice as often...

[He walks over to Asher so he can get a closer look at him. As he approaches Asher he can see the book on his face, the bottles around him, and smell the scent of booze. Jerry shakes his head disappointed and sighs.]

Jerry: *Sigh* Have you been drinking, reading, and repairing again?

[He speaks to Asher but gets no response. Just the sound of breathing under the book.]

Asher: (Asleep) Mmmm...

Jerry: Asher...

[Still no legitimate response.]

Jerry: Asher!

Asher: (Asleep) Ehh, nee...Fukn... Crows...

[He seems to be in a deep state of sleep.]

Asher: (Asleep) Where... Mmm... Fight club...

Jerry: God damn it, Asher!

[Jerry grabs the book on Asher's face so he can see him. Asher is completely out cold... And probably hungover... Jerry closes the book and tosses it on the table next to him.]

Jerry: Oh yea, it's Wednesday. He sleeps until noon and can't be woken up...

Asher: (Asleep) Wrench... Broke...

Jerry: What?

Asher: (Asleep) Table...

Jerry: Huh?

[Jerry looks over at the table next to Asher. He sees the radio, blueprints, and a note next to a wrench. Jerry raises an eyebrow and walks over to the table. He picks up the note and reads it. It says "I broke one of your adjustable wrenches. The good one I believe. If you are wondering why it's broken it's because I dropped the truck on my foot and out of a fit of rage broke the wrench. In short, I owe you one adjustable wrench. -Asher". Jerry lowers the note so he can look at the wrench on the table. Asher wasn't lying when he said he broke the adjustable wrench, as there is a broken in half adjustable wrench lying on the table. Jerry grabs half of the adjustable wrench and inspects it. He takes a deep breath, and lets out a long and deeply annoyed sigh.]

Jerry: *Long and Deeply Annoyed Sigh* Mother... Fucker...

*Clang*

[Jerry let's go of the wrench allowing it to fall to the ground with a loud clang. He looks over to Asher with an annoyed glare.]

Jerry: You're the fucking worst, you know that?

Asher: (Asleep) No... Noted...

Jerry: *Groan* Even in his sleep he's a sarcastic asshole...

Bradley: (Through Radio) Now on recent news,-

[Jerry looks over to the radio on the table next to Asher.]

Jerry: Did he really fix that radio?

Bradley: (Through Radio) -the murderous gang of crows that have been tormenting the occupants of our ruined city has decided to make it their home. According to reports, the crows seem to have made their nests on the Western Side of Pentagram City, close to the outskirts of the city. While the crows do not seem as hostile as they were before, they have already claimed a total of eighty-six demons through their two-week reign. It is advised that anyone who comes into contact with these crows is to keep their distance from them. As of now, it is unknown whether these crows are acting of their own volition, or, they are being commanded or even controlled by an unknown outside source. Could this be the work of an Overlord? Or just pure untapped bloodlust? Hopefully, we never find out!

Jerry: Huh... Looks like he did. Guess he does know how to fix things... Or just radios and trucks...

Background Noise: (Through Radio) *Smash* FUCK!

Jerry: What the hell?

[A smashing sound can be heard coming from the radio. Along with someone yelling out the word "fuck". Then the following conversation ensues through the radio between what appears to be the two news anchors.]

Bentley: (Through Radio & Yelling) *Serious Pain* AHHHH!!! IT'S HOT!!!

Bradley: (Through Radio & Yelling) THAT'S FOR THAT SHITTY CANNIBAL JOKE, YOU SON OF A-

News Station: (Through Radio) We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors!

Background Noise: (Through Radio) *Smashing Noise*

News Station: (Through Radio) You two! KNOCK IT OFF!!!

[The news station then cuts to what sounds like a commercial. Jerry looks at the radio confused.]

Jerry: Ehh... Ok.

[He walks over to the radio and turns it off.]

*Click*

Jerry: Hm...

[Jerry looks back at Asher, then at half of the broken wrench on the table. He scratches the back of his head and groans in annoyance.]

Jerry: *Annoyed Groan* Dammit Asher...

[He starts walking back over to the metal door he entered from. As he approaches the door he deviates to a closet near the front door and opens it, he starts rummaging through it.]

Jerry: Maybe I should go out and get some fresh air... Might help with this fucking headache I have...

[Jerry grabs a large backpack from the closet and puts it on. It's bigger than the one Asher wore before, it seems to be tailored to fit Jerry. He closes the closet and places the backpack on his back.]

Jerry: Should get a new adjustable wrench as well... And buy some booze. *Chuckles*

[Jerry walks over to the middle door, opens it, walks through, and closes it behind himself.]

Two Hours and Forty-Five Minutes Later...

Jerry: Mmmm...

[Jerry is sitting on a bench on some sort of incline smoking a cigarette. The bench doesn't really fit him well, as he's taking up most of the bench by lying on his side. He takes a puff from the cigarette and blows some smoke out into the air in front of himself.]

Jerry: What the hell did I get myself into?

[Jerry seems to have finished shopping for what he needed in Pentagram City. The backpack he brought with him into the city is sitting next to him on the bench near his head, it looks full. He looks down at part of the city below him, demons are walking around the place minding their own business. It's almost noon so the day for some people is just getting started. Jerry takes another puff of his cigarette and blows the smoke out.]

Jerry: (In Head) If I'm right... It should be about an hour until noon. Which means that Asher's going to be weakening up by the time I get back to the workshop. If I leave now that is...

[Jerry stands up, he takes one last puff of his cigarette before tossing it on the ground and stepping on it. He stands up, grabs the backpack next to him, and throws it over his back.]

Jerry: (In Head) Might as well head back anyways... Fresh air ain't helping my headache...

[Jerry grows in annoyance and rubs his temple.]

Jerry: Today is gonna be a drag...

[He looks around at his surroundings for a second before placing his hands in his leather apron pockets and beginning to walk down the sidewalk. Jerry walks down the street minding his own business. He passes by a few other demons making their way through the city. Some stare at him for a few seconds because of his height and the fact that he's wearing a large backpack, but most seem to mind their own business. A few minutes later, Jerry seems to have made his way near the edge of the Eastern part of Pentagram City. He continues down the sidewalk minding his own business. He keeps his eyes down the street and notices three demons standing on the other side of the street having a discussion with each other. One of them seems to notice Jerry walking on the other side of the street. He immediately stops talking with the other demons and hits them to get their attention. He then gestures over to Jerry, they all glare at him as he walks by. This doesn't go unnoticed by him. He's able to see them out of the corner of his eye.]

Jerry: (In Head) Who are those assholes?

[Jerry slightly looks over his right shoulder towards where the three demons are. They seemed to have stopped their conversation altogether and are now on the move. Seemingly tailing Jerry as they are walking in the same direction as him.]

Jerry: (In Head) This reeks of trouble...

[Jerry looks back forward and continues to mind his own business. He makes his way to a corner and takes a right down the next street. He then looks over his shoulder to see if the demons are still following him. They are, and now there's four of them. They make a right and cross the street to get on the same side as Jerry. Jerry glares at them before looking back ahead in front of himself. He immediately stops in his tracks. There are four more demons standing about twenty-five feet in front of him. They all have angry glares on their faces and a bat or pipe in their hands. Jerry turns around, the four other demons are now standing still at the same distance behind him. They are all also carrying a pipe or bat. Jerry takes his hands out of his pocket now realizing the situation he's in. He looks across the street hoping to find an exit there, but no luck, there's four more demons standing across the street. All just like the ones from before.]

Jerry: (In Head) Fuck.

[One of the demons in front of Jerry takes a few steps toward him with an annoyed smile on his face.]

Demon: Well, well, well! If it isn't the blacksmith!

Jerry: Am I right in saying that you twelve work for Jockey? If so, are you here to finally pay me what your boss owes me?

Jockey Lackey 1: Nah! But he did say that if any of us saw ya! We're supposed to beat ya!

[The Lackeys in front and behind Jerry begin to slowly walk towards him. Jerry looks behind himself then back at the Lackeys in front of him. He looks at the first Lackey that spoke to him.]

Jerry: Listen here, buddy... I'm running on what I believe to be three hours of sleep, a pack of cigarettes, six bottles of cheap booze, I have a pounding headache, and my favorite adjustable wrench just broke...

[He glares at the demon.]

Jerry: You really don't want to test me today...

Jockey Lackey 1: Well that's too damn bad!

Jerry: *Groan* Alrighty then...

[Jerry reaches behind himself and takes the backpack he's wearing off. He tosses it beside him against the building he's standing next to. He then sketches his arms out in front of himself and cracks his knuckles.]

Jerry: But I did warn ya...

[He turns his hands into fists and assumes a fighting position. Judging by the way he's stood, and his confidence, this isn't Jerry's first fight. The Lackeys in front and behind Jerry are all glaring at him while the four across the street stand ready to act at any moment. Jerry looks back at the four demons in front of him keeping a close eye on them. Taking advantage of Jerry not looking, one of the Lackeys behind him starts running at him with his bat raised in the air.]

Jerry: This is gonna be annoying...

[Jerry raises his left leg up and kicks backward hitting the charging Lackey in the stomach. The Lackey drops his bat and stumbles back a bit. But before he can hit the ground Jerry spins around and grabs both of the Lackey's legs, he lifts the Lackey up, spins back around, and throws that Lackey at the four Lackeys in front of him. The Lackey he threw hits the four Lackeys directly causing them all to fall and hit the ground. Jerry mumbles to himself before looking at both of his arms.]

Jerry: (In Head) Hmmm... I should start working out again... Losing my touch...

Jockey Lackey 2: I'll bash your fucking skull in!

Jerry: (In Head) Oh yea there's more of you...

[Jerry turns around to see the other three Lackey's running towards him like the first one. They all swing their weapons at Jerry, but he just sidesteps their attack all while walking backward and looking at them unimpressed. Eventually, he backtracks his way to the four Lackeys he hit with the first one, one of their bats lies on the ground next to him. Jerry quickly kicks the bat up into the air beside him and grabs it with his right hand, he reals it back and swings forward right at one of the Lackey's faces. The Lackey takes the force of the bat and hits the ground while the other two continue to swing at Jerry. Jerry dodges another swing from the Lackeys and, he then bends down a bit and grabs the Lackey he threw at the other four earlier with his left hand. He holds the Lackey in front of him, using him as a meat shield. The two Lackeys continue to swing at Jerry but only manage to wail on their friend as Jerry keeps moving him in the direction of their swings.]

Jockey Lackey 3: Get out of the way dumbass!

[Jerry continues to block their attacks with the Lackey before shoving him forward at one of them, temporarily blinding him with the body.]

Jockey Lackey 2: Gah! Get off of me!

[Jerry then swings the bat forward once again at the other Lackey, he hits him in the head knocking him out almost immediately. The Second Lackey throws the meat shield Lackey off of him and can now see Jerry again. But he only manages to see him for a second before Jerry sweeps his feet with his tail sending him to the ground. The Lackey hits the ground with a thud, he attempts to stand back up but is hit in the head by Jerry with a baseball bat knocking him out. Jerry takes a deep breath and tosses the bat to the ground beside him.]

Jerry: I fucking hate Jockey...

[He looks towards the four Lackeys he threw the other Lackey at. They're all out cold. Somehow...]

Jerry: (In Head) Did those four really pass out just because I threw one of their friends at him? Man Jockey has no standards when it comes to recruiting...

*Wack*

Jerry: GAH! Fuck!

[One of Jockeys' Lackeys snuck up behind him and hit him on the back with a pipe. It's one of the Lackeys from across the street, and his friends aren't too far behind.]

Jerry: (In Head) And I forgot about the other four across the street... Goddamnit...

[Jerry takes a step forward and turns around. The four Lackeys from across the street are standing behind him. The one that just hit him is standing back while the other three charge forward towards him.]

Jerry: (In Head) Fuck, alright, let's make this quick.

[The three Lackeys all swing bats at Jerry. He manages to avoid their attacks and even manages to swat the bat out of the left Lackey's hands. He then grabs the Lackey on the left by his head and slams him headfirst onto a lamppost. The Lackey falls to the ground after leaving a nice dent in the lamppost. The other two continue to swing at Jerry who continues to block the bat swings with his arms. It doesn't seem like the pain from getting hit on the arms is as bad as getting hit on the back for him. After blocking a few more swings one of the Lackeys raises the bat above his head and swings down at Jerry, he hits Jerry between his two arms. Now that the bat is immobile, Jerry then quickly grabs it and pulls it towards him along with the Lackey. He then grabs the Lackey's face and slams him into the wall beside him. He lets go allowing the Lackey to fall to the ground leaving some blood on the brick wall. The last Lackey, obviously not caring what happened to his friends, swings at Jerry. But instead of blocking or dodging the swing, Jerry just grabs the bat mid-swing. He yanks the bat out of the Lackey's hands and tosses it aside. He then grabs the Lackeys by his shirt collar with his left hand and holds him against the brick wall. Jerry rears his right hand back, makes a fist, and then punches as hard as he can into the Lackey's face. The Lackey goes limp after the punch. Jerry pulls his face back to see the Lackey with a broken nose and bloody face.]

Jerry: Whoops... Maybe a bit too hard...

*Wack*

[Jerry gets hit across the back of his head with a metal pipe, the attack came from the Lackey that hit him before. Jerry's head falls down a bit, it then quickly turns towards the Last Lackey. Jerry glares right into his eyes.]

Last Jockey Lackey: Uhhhh...

[Jerry then drops the Lackey he's holding on the ground. He then grabs the pipe the Last Lackey is holding and holds it horizontally between his two hands. He pushes his two hands together and crushes the pipe completely. He takes out the crushed pipe between his hands and flips the coin-sized pipe into the Last Lackey's face. The Lackey stares at him for a second before turning around and running away screaming. Jerry watches him run away. However, he then notices a trash can next to him. He grabs the lid off of the trash can and spins it around on his right index finger. He then grabs it, pulls his hand back, and throws the lid at the Last Lackey's head resulting in a satisfying bonk.]

*Bonk*

[The Last Lackey stops running and immediately falls to the ground. Jerry watches the body fall to the ground and lets out a satisfied chuckle.]

Jerry: *Chuckles* Hehehe... Wish I could fight these guys everyday...

???: *Cough* *Cough*

[Someone coughs behind Jerry. He turns around and sees a big demon stand around twenty feet away from him. The big demon has a cloth wrapped around his mouth and what seems to be a forever scowl. He's got dark gray hair, and gray skin, and seems to be very muscular along with being tall. He seems to be a foot and a half shorter than Jerry. However, he does look stronger. Jerry groans upon seeing this demon.]

Jerry: *Groan* Maybe not you Bouncer...

Bouncer: *Cough*

[Bouncer just coughs once more to reply to Jerry.]

Jerry: I'm gonna be honest with ya buddy... You being here is really putting a wrench in my plans...

Bouncer: *Mumble* (Mumbling) Mmmeemmmm...

Jerry: Yea, whatever you say...

[The two stare at each other, both with very stern and annoyed scowls. All the Lackeys Jerry knocked out remain on the ground still out cold.]

Jerry: (In Head) Of course Bouncer has to show up last minute... Dammit... I really can't risk fighting him right now, I have a fight later tonight and can't afford any more injuries... And if those injuries are coming from Bouncer, then I might as well just throw in the towel now instead of later...

[Jerry begins slowly walking forward, taking a few steps towards Bouncer. He steps over the unconscious Lackeys on the ground. Bouncer grumbles and glares at Jerry, he then takes a few steps forward towards him.]

Jerry: (In Head) Alright... If I can't fight him... Then there's only one thing I can do...

[Jerry stops walking, his backpack is sitting against the build to his left. He reaches over and grabs his backpack, he slings it over his shoulders back onto his back. Bouncer has stopped walking at this point. He seems to be waiting for Jerry to make a move. Jerry changes his stance, he puts his arms out beside him low to the ground. Bouncer gets into a fighting stance and puts his fists up ready to fight. The two stare at each other for a few tense seconds. In less than a second, Jerry slides his left leg to the side, turns around, and starts running away.]

Jerry: (In Head) Outrun him!

[He quickly runs down the sidewalk and makes a right turn leaving Bouncer's sightline. Bouncer, who is now confused, raises an eyebrow and grumbles confused.]

Bouncer: *Confused Grumble* Hmmm?

[He stands still for a few seconds before lowering his fists. He lets out an annoyed mumble.]

Bouncer: *Annoyed Mumble* Mmmmmm...

[He then starts running down the sidewalk after Jerry. He reaches the corner Jerry turned and looks to his right to look for Jerry. He can see Jerry peeking out of an alleyway looking for him.]

Jerry: Whoops, he's following me.

[Jerry ducks back into the alleyway avoiding Bouncer. Bouncer lets out an annoyed grumble.]

Bouncer: *Annoyed Grumble* Eeee... Mhm.

[He continues running down the sidewalk towards the alleyway where Jerry was peeking out of. Bouncer reaches the alleyway and looks down it. Jerry's not there, but there are two split paths that go left and right. Bouncer walks into the alleyway and looks at the two splitting alleyways. He looks left, then right, then he shakes his head annoyed, and grumbles.]

Bouncer: *Grumbles* Mmmm...

[Bouncer scratches his head before looking down the left alleyway. He then decides to run down it, keeping his eyes open for Jerry. A few seconds pass before someone lets out a sigh of relief.]

???: *Sigh of Relief* Thank Lucifer he didn't look up...

[Up high between the two buildings in the alleyway is Jerry, he's got his arms against one of the buildings and legs against the other. It looks like he spread himself out keeping himself held up between the buildings and out of sight. He slips a tiny bit falling down a bit between the buildings.]

Jerry: That was close...

[He releases himself from between the buildings and falls to the ground on his knees making a loud thud. He stands up and dusts himself off.]

Jerry: Hopefully he didn't hear that...

[Jerry looks back out of the alleyway towards the street. He leans back so he can crack his back.]

Jerry: Well... If anything this was a good warmup for later...

[He walks out of the alleyway towards the street, he stops on the sidewalk and looks around. He seems to be clear, there are a few other demons walking around but none of them seems to be part of Jockey's gang.]

Jerry: (In Head) Looks like I'm finally in the clear... I should get back to the workshop before Asher wakes up or anybody else tries attacking me.

[Jerry makes a right turn and starts walking down the sidewalk towards the outskirts of the city.]

An Hour Later...

*Clank*

[The metal door to the workshop opens up, Jerry pushes it open and walks inside.]

Jerry: Well that was fun...

[He walks over to the table and chairs and takes his backpack off, he then tosses it onto one of the chairs. He looks over to the other side of the workshop where he left Asher. Asher is still asleep in the chair exactly where Jerry left him, right next to the truck surrounded by bottles.]

Jerry: Of course, he's still asleep.

[Jerry walks away from the table and over towards where Asher is. He stops at the table close to Asher and looks directly at him. He's definitely out cold, not faking it in the slightest.]

Jerry: Hmm... Should be noon any second now.

[Jerry looks over towards Asher's Radio, he walks over and turns it on.]

*Click*

[Some music starts playing on the radio, it's music from some classical song.]

Asher's Radio: ♫Entertaining Music♫

Jerry: Any second now.

[Jerry crosses his arms and looks at Asher.]

Jerry: Anyyyyyyy second now...

[The song on Asher's Radio comes to an end and it stops playing music altogether. It then seems to transition over to the news station as a familiar voice begins to speak from it.]

Bentley: (Through Radio) Good evening Pentagram City!

Bradley: (Through Radio) Still hungover...

Bentley: (Through Radio) I thought you sobered up an hour ago?

Bradley: (Through Radio) Yea, no. I was on a binge last night.

Bentley: (Through Radio) So you're gonna cranky for the rest of the newscast?

Bradley: (Through Radio) You should watch what you say before I stab you with a pen again.

Bentley: (Through Radio) *Nervous Chuckle* Eh-heh-heh... Right! Anywho! It's currently noon on this horrid day-

Asher: (Half Asleep) Hmm?

[Jerry looks over to Asher. He seems to be waking up right on the dot at noon. Asher lifts his head up and begins to open his eyes.]

Asher: (Half Asleep) Wha... Mmm...

Jerry: Morning Asher.

Asher: (Half Asleep) Huh?

[Asher looks over to Jerry who's standing next to him with his arms crossed. Asher rubs his eyes and yawns.]

Asher: Oh... Hey Jerry... *Yawn*

Jerry: How the hell do you manage to sleep until noon every Wednesday without fail?

[Asher stands up and stretches his arms in the air.]

Asher: My bodys has an internal clock. It knows exactly when it's Wednesday and exactly when I should wake up, and on Wednesdays, it's always at noon.

[Asher lowers his arms.]

Jerry: How the hell do you have this skill?

Asher: A combination of too much free time and sleeping later to avoid having to pay for food.

Jerry: Mmm... Right...

[Asher scratches his head and lets out a small yawn.]

Asher: *Small Yawn* So, did I miss anything while I was out?

Jerry: Nah, not really. I just went to the city to get a new adjustable wrench, thanks for that by the way...

Asher: You're welcome!

Jerry: *Annoyed Grumble* Ehhh... Yea, just a new wrench, cigarettes, booze, and some food.

Asher: Ah! The essentials!

Jerry: Yea, pretty much. But now that you're awake, we need to get to work on today's schedule.

Asher: Ahhh... I see...

[Asher walks over to a workbench, he grabs a knife that seems to have been stabbed into the wooden bench. He pulls the knife out and leans against the workbench. Asher strokes the knife's blade and looks at Jerry with a smile.]

Asher: What's on the schedule today?






----------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N:

Howdy! I live! ...with grotesque bird head. Is horrible! In other news, I'm back! Hopefully for a while. Not sure, finals and projects kinda suck dick, and playing Elden Ring isn't helping much either... Eh. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter following a bit of what Jerry does while Asher is busy or out cold. I have the next several chapters planned out and will get working on them when I have some spare time. Which will hopefully be sooner than later. Anyways, thanks for reading!

P.S.: Apparently I spelled Bentley's name wrong in Chapter 6. RIP.

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Imagine being as nice as possible throughout your whole life and then, after one bad accident, find yourself in the place meant for the most evil and...