I WAS GOING TO BE sore tomorrow.
That thought flitted through the back of my mind when Beau hit a spot in my body that I didn't even realize existed. But not even a half-second later and the thought vanished completely. He could wreck me, and it wouldn't matter. Just so long as he didn't stop.
Panting, I closed my eyes briefly. I was stuck between desperation for release and never, ever wanting this to end.
"I want to see you sweat for it, Collins." Beau's breath tickled my ear, and I opened my eyes again. "You want to come? Lift those hips and fuck me back."
Oh my God, couldn't he see and feel how much I already was sweating for it? Our sticky, hot skin collided with every thrust, but if Beau wanted more from me, then fuck, who was I to say no?
Tipping my hips up, I met him, thrust for thrust. And with the explosion of pure bliss that followed, I understood. I understood how he wanted me to find something that was missing. That something that would finish me off.
"That's it." Beau gripped my tied wrists tighter, and I could tell that he was close to losing it. "Just like that, and I've got you, sweetheart. I got you."
He did. He did have me. He carried me all the way to the end, and all I could think about was how I wished I didn't have to leave his arms when we got there.
—
"Tell me your limits for the night, Collins."
Beau put his car into park outside of our duplex, and my stomach flipped when I turned to find him looking at me, expression taut and eager.
"My limits?" I repeated, mostly to buy myself time to formulate a response.
Beau gave a slow nod. "Is there anything you don't want to do?"
"I—" My mind spun around in circles. Nothing came into it that I didn't want to do with Beau, but I also realized that I probably wasn't experienced enough to even think of the limits he might be imagining. "I don't know. No?"
A soft chuckle left Beau's lips, and he spun his key ring around his finger. "Baby girl, I'm asking you now because you go quiet on me in bed. Don't start that early."
I licked my lips, thinking of what to say. Beau's gaze dropped to my mouth, watching my next words. "I've just never really thought about it."
His eyes flicked back up to mine. "Then answer this honestly. Did you like our first time, or was it...too much?"
Translation: Did I like being tied up, held down, and told I would be fucked roughly until we were both a sweaty mess?
"Yeah, I liked it," I whispered shyly. When Beau raised his brow, flashing a knowing look, I swallowed. "A lot."
I liked how it felt to put that trust in someone else and turn myself over.
For so long, my life was built around constant decisions. Every day, I fought within myself as I tried to figure out what to do—about school, work, lawsuits, money, grief.
But Beau was happy to direct. He was happy to let me sit back while he conducted moments. I didn't just mean in bed, either. He did it all the time, but it was so casual, so subtle that I never realized until I looked back. And it was such a goddamn relief to let him do that.
All I had to do was live instead of worrying about how to live. There was such a difference.
Take me away, Beau. I just want to live.
"Okay," he said, almost as though he could read my mind. His fingers tangled with mine as he lifted them between us, kissing the back of my hand. It was a lingering kiss, a slide of his lips against my skin, and his eyes danced above our knuckles, watching me. "I think that tells me what I needed to know." He paused. "One more thing before we go inside."
I waited, wondering what else there could possibly be.
"Birth control?" he questioned, dragging his lips over the back of my hand again, surveying my expression.
"I'm on it," I answered right away.
Beau nodded. "And I'm clean, Collins. But we can still use protection if you want."
A shake of my head. "No, I want...."
I wanted nothing between us.
Beau stared expectantly, making it clear he wanted the rest of my words, and I cleared my throat.
"Just you. I just want you."
A long pause floated between us, almost as though Beau was giving me the chance to change my mind. But I had no intention of doing that. So eventually, he nodded toward the house. "Let's head in."
When I followed Beau into the apartment, I didn't push him up against the door like last night, and he didn't throw me onto the countertop. The mood had shifted. Desperation lingered just as heavily as it had twenty-four hours ago, but there wasn't a need to hurry. Rushing this moment would have been a sin.
"My room tonight," he said, keeping his voice to a hushed murmur even though we both knew Nessa was at Grayson's. Guiding me by my hips, Beau pushed me toward his bedroom door. Once inside, it closed with an audible click behind Beau, and the air stilled.
His room was its usual clean and tidy self. The bed, specifically, was made with such precision that I almost hated to mess it up. But after turning around to face Beau, I found him pulling his shirt over his head in the shadowed corner of the room, and I quickly changed my mind. His jeans rode low around his hips, slipping down as he walked toward me.
Damn. Shirtless Beau was definitely one of my favorite Beaus. And not for the first time, my eyes were drawn to the ink on his muscular abdomen.
"Tell me about the tattoo."
Beau glanced down, pausing about an arm's length away from me.
"The lines," he said, tracing a fingertip over the thick, black curves. "They're waves. Two waves in a big ocean."
"Why did you pick that?"
"Well, we do live in California, Collins." His words were playful, but his eyes evaded mine as he stepped closer. It wasn't hard to pick up that he was deflecting.
"If you don't want to tell me, it's—"
"I'll tell you." He cut me off with a soft kiss. "But it's gotta be another time when I'm not so fucking desperate to get inside you."
I sucked in, and Beau took advantage of the little gasp, dipping his tongue into my mouth to stoke embers into flames. His hands molded around my middle before they rose slowly, reaching up to brush my sweater off my shoulders. The cardigan fell to the floor with a soft thud. My romper followed it.
Standing there in just my bra and underwear, Beau skimmed his fingertips back down over my bare skin. And then, with an abrupt stop to our kiss, he groaned against my lips. "Bed."
I fell back onto the mattress and tilted my head to study Beau. His jaw clenched as he returned my careful scan, getting a full view of the lacy set I had on.
"I took you on a pretty decent date, and now here you are trying to kill me. Jesus Christ, Collins," he murmured. "Totally unfair."
Beau raked a hand through his hair. The midnight black strands fell down over his forehead again instantly, but it was a messy look that suited him. I couldn't wait to tangle my fingers in that hair, make it messier.
"I'd say it was better than decent." I bit down on a smile. "Thank you, by the way. For tonight."
He shook his head, heat burning in his gaze as it swept over me again. "Don't thank me yet. On your hands and knees, baby girl."
My breath caught in my throat at his demand, but it didn't stop me from obeying. As soon as my hands sank into his bedspread, Beau began dragging my underwear down over my hips. He didn't pull them off all the way, though. He left them stretched out, right above my knees, and the air tickled my skin in a teasing sort of way.
Beau swore. The harsh word came out velvety, though. A hand came to rest between my shoulder blades, gently pressing my front down into silky bed sheets as my ass rose up further in the air.
"That's it," he said, voice breathy. "I want to see you. I want to see if you're as wet as last night."
Possibly more, Beau.
God, I couldn't remember the last time I had ached for another person this intensely.
Well, actually I could. It was about a year ago, in a hotel room after a first date with a stranger.
Beau continued with such tender praises that when the hand caressing my hips with careful touches suddenly left and returned with a light smack on my ass, I gasped. But that gasp morphed halfway through, becoming a breathy moan when I felt the residual vibrations between my legs.
It was a jolt that went straight to my core. Like a strike of lightning, and I unashamedly whimpered, wanting more of that feeling. Whatever it was.
Beau's husky laugh made my head spin. "Yeah, thought you might like that."
I liked it. I liked it. I liked it.
"Say it aloud, Collins."
"I like it."
"That's my girl," he said before his hand came down again, a bit harder, and I pitched forward slightly with another gasp. Another moan.
"That's for walking away from me last year, Collins," he said with a low grunt.
Another smack and a throaty noise I didn't recognize flew out between my lips.
When Beau spoke again, his voice was gravelly and gorgeous. "That's for the time we lost, for thinking I wouldn't want every little piece of you, the good and the bad."
This time, instead of lifting his hand, it shifted lower, cupping between my legs. Softly. Like I was ceramic, something that easily broke. It made me want to promise him that I wouldn't break, not with him, but none of those words could make their way out.
"Beau," I sighed, needing him to touch me where I wanted it. My clit was begging for attention, and Beau knew it. His next little slap hit my pussy, a sharp flick in just the right spot, and my knees nearly buckled.
"That's for all the bullshit about wanting to be friends," he muttered. "Friends don't do what we're about to."
He punctuated that with the sound of a zipper, which made my pulse speed up, triple tempo. The expected feeling of something hard and insistent never came, though. Instead, the warmth of Beau's mouth assaulted me, his tongue swirling between my legs. Assuaging my stinging and swollen clit, making me cry out into his bedspread.
And then I cried out again when he disappeared.
The room was silent except for our harsh breaths, and when Beau remained motionless behind me, I glanced over my shoulder.
"What are we about to do, Beau?"
All I could see was his face, but even just his expression was enough to dry up my throat. His eyes never left mine as he began prodding my clit with the tip of his cock before sliding it down, making me groan and toss my head back onto the bed. Fingers fumbled with the clasp on my bra, undoing it with a tiny snap. I shrugged it off.
"What are we about to do?" he repeated with a rasp. "I'm about to take you fast from behind, Collins." He sucked in like he was trying to steady himself. "But don't worry...." His voice had softened, silky and smooth. "Then I'll fuck you slow, sweetheart, and watch your eyes light up."
He waited for a beat, but my words were lost inside all of his. All of his beautifully dirty words. "Okay?" he prompted me.
"Okay." And when he didn't immediately thrust into me, I begged, "Okay, Beau."
I didn't know how to explain how much I needed this. For a whole year, I'd been walking around with a little piece of me missing because he'd taken it with him, and it was time for Beau to give it back. I needed to feel him again like I had that night.
"I'm appreciating the moment," he said with a chuckle. "I'm so obsessed, gorgeous girl. I'm down so fucking bad for you." His hand tapped the inside of my thigh, prompting me to spread wider for him. "For this."
"I think you just like to hear me beg," I muttered beneath my breath, but Beau heard it. He laughed even louder.
"That too," he said, and then he drove into me with a thrust hard enough that I nearly flattened onto the bed.
Oh my God. That was—that was—
With my head still spinning and my entire body aching, I let Beau yank me back up until I was flush against his body. But shit, that meant he'd plunged so incredibly deep in the process, and I wasn't sure if I could handle it. I'd forgotten what it felt like to be stretched in this way.
"Breath, baby. We both know you can take it," he soothed, despite his strained voice telling me his breathing wasn't any more normal than mine. "Tell me, though. Tell me you can take it. Tell me you're okay."
"I can take it," I said, feeling my body welcome him as I sighed. "And I'm more than okay."
Beau's fingers dug into my hips just as he began sputtering. "Oh holy hell, Collins. This is—I missed this so goddamn much."
Beau slid out of me only to slam forward again, and I fisted the sheets with a muffled groan. He did again and again, taking his sweet time as he teased me with slow strokes.
"Look at you." A note of awe hung in Beau's voice, and I twisted to see his face. His eyes were lowered, watching his thrusts with parted, tilted lips. "Taking my cock like a good fucking girl. Just how I wanted."
Oh, I—I wouldn't survive if he kept on like this.
"I thought you were going to fuck me fast, Beau," I said, gasping as he continued his leisurely assault. "Now you're back there getting all nostalgic."
I caught the amused look on Beau's face, his lips spreading into a laughing smile right before he rocked into me with such force that my head fell forward again. And then once he started, he didn't stop. Sounds of skin slapping filled the room as Beau held onto my hips and bucked into them repeatedly.
"Is that better?" he growled. "Is that how you wanted it?"
"Yes," I cried out.
Yes, yes, yes. A million times, yes.
My body took every single thrust. Absorbed each one like a homecoming. They built on each other, pushing me toward something that I nearly dreaded because I knew I was going to fall and fall hard.
Such sweet, intense pleasure. It would have swept me away if Beau hadn't been holding me in place so tightly. Even as he slid one hand up to cup my breasts, his other stayed firmly on one hip.
Beau swore, raggedly breathing. His pace adjusted slightly because his newfound interest in playing with my nipples seemed to distract him from keeping his tempo. Distracted me, too. Especially when he gave one a pinch. And—
My orgasm hit me before I was prepared for it, strong enough to knock the air from my chest. I screamed silently, wondering how long the pleasure would rip through my body, wondering if I would ever land. Not that I wanted to. God, I really never wanted to.
Beau pulled out of me before I had come down from my high, and I groaned in protest. But that groan got sucked back into my mouth as he flipped me over on the bed, pushing inside me again. This time when I screamed, it wasn't silent.
"There she is," he said with a satisfied grin, soaking in the sight of me like it was the very first time he'd watched me come. "I like it when you're loud for me like that."
His cock slid out and back in with a slow rock of his hips. He groaned softly, his eyes fluttering shut as he showed the other side of Beau, and it nearly made me cry.
"Collins," he breathed before dropping his forehead down to mine and breezing a kiss across my lips. "Collins."
"I'm here, Beau."
I was here. And I wasn't going anywhere.
Beau smiled against my lips. And then he spoke with a rough whisper and a softer thrust. "How does it feel to be mine?"
I arched up for him, wanting...more. "It feels so good. So good, Beau."
Silence suspended through the humid, sweltering air in his bedroom. It was interrupted only by our breathy moans, by rustling blankets and sheets, by slow kissing, lips parting with sighs. And when Beau propped himself up to watch me like he'd promised he would, I'd nearly hit that point again.
I whimpered, and Beau licked his lips, eyes wandering my face as he continued to torture me with careful, measured strokes. Urging him on, I lifted my hips to meet his, remembering his words from that first night.
You want to come? Lift those hips and fuck me back.
"So good," Beau breathed, a delayed response. His eyes grew hazy and dazed—almost as though he had to fight not to get lost entirely. In me. In us.
Reaching between us, a finger lightly brushed my clit, and I bucked upward instinctively. After kicking off my underwear, which had become tangled around my ankles, I wrapped my legs around Beau's waist, bringing us closer. My eyes flew open as I nearly choked on a groan, and our gazes hooked on each other.
"That's perfect, Collins."
His low words and the eye contact alone were going to make me lose it. Twisting my hand into his hair how I knew he liked, I tugged, watching his gaze darken. Widen. He muttered my name again, and I responded by raking my nails down his scalp to his back. His jaw clenched, and his thrusts sped up. His finger worked my clit faster while his other hand grabbed mine, intertwining our fingers and holding me against the mattress.
"Come again, baby." Beau's voice was raspy and hot, making my insides swim. "Be a good girlfriend and come for me again."
The idea of coming on command was ludicrous, but Beau made it happen, and I broke down with a cry. Shattering. Everything in me shattered with an explosion of blinding heat. In the middle of my own orgasm, Beau let go, too. He kissed me bruisingly, flooding my mouth with throaty, vibrating sounds.
I felt it. Oh god, I felt his release. Hot and satisfying.
Spent, Beau finally collapsed onto me. But his hands continued to rub up and down my sides, giving me goosebumps.
"Why did we wait so fucking long to do that again?" he mumbled into my chest. "We gotta put that shit on replay more often."
I couldn't help but laugh, breaking the last bit of tension lingering in the air. "Good question."
Of course, I knew the answer I would have given a month ago. But none of that seemed to really matter at this moment.
Beau propped himself up, making a pleasured sigh when he slipped out of me. Pushing off the bed, he crossed the room silently and darted into the hallway. His sudden disappearance made me frown, but he returned a moment later, holding something in his hand that I couldn't make out in the dim room. Not until he slid back onto the bed and pressed it between my legs.
Warmth. Damp warmth. Beau worked a washcloth over my inner thighs in soothing circles. I sighed, wondering why the hell such a simple thing felt so goddamn good. But when Beau's strokes moved upward between my legs, he paused. His head remained bent over me.
"Beau?"
He shook his head. "Sorry, got distracted."
"By?"
Beau's grin kicked up as he bounced next to me on the bed. His lips ghosted over mine before breathing across them. "You're dripping in a different way now, baby girl."
When I half-groaned, half-laughed in response, Beau leaned back and pinned me with a wicked expression.
"Tell me something," he said.
"Anything," I whispered.
He hesitated, and I wasn't sure if it was for dramatic effect or if he'd suddenly changed his mind. But then he continued, his voice an odd mix of sweet curiosity and playful teasing. "Did you come because I called you my girlfriend for the first time?"
A grin spread across my face before I caught it, trying to tame the damn thing. "Maybe."
"Knew it."
And then Beau fist-bumped the air.
What a silly moment to realize I was in love with Beau Martin.
But silly moments didn't really exist before him, so I supposed it was perfect.
✨
did I surprise myself with this one?
maybe but i just ran with it.
🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
ahh thoughts?
thanks so much for reading!