"Wow," Jerome mumbles followed by a deep breath. Judith shakes her head while staring at the wall across from them. "I'm so sorry, Judy."
"It's fine. Well, not really, obviously, but I'm learning to just – give it to God. Give them to God." He nods in agreement, and she turns her mouth to the right as she grinds her teeth against her inner cheek. "I suppose I understand why Stevie was so angry with me for a while. It's frustrating feeling helpless especially when it seems like death runs in our family. God, I'm just – tired. Literally and figuratively."
"You didn't sleep last night?" When she shakes her head, he asks, "Was it the stress of him being here?"
"No. My sister tried to kill herself." He flares his eyes and shuts his mouth, so she corrects herself, "Well, not really. She pretended to because she thought it would bring her here with Stevie."
"Does she not know they're guarded on this side," he asks, and she shakes her head. "Well, she's a kid, so I guess it makes sense. Isn't she, like, twelve?"
"Thirteen." She blinks three times fast to force herself to not fall asleep. "Even if we explained it a hundred times, I doubt it would get through. They're twins so I understand why they're so close, but –"
"I'm sorry for cutting you off, but I don't understand why people say that." Judith looks at him as he speaks. "Justin and I argue and yeah, we're close, but I don't think I'm like that with him."
"Why're you here," she finally asks and his already empty expression sinks. She draws her eyebrows in as he briefly lowers his head to his lap, before turning to the window. "What's wrong?"
"I caught Xavius drowning himself in the tub. Everyone was asleep, I had to use it and when I walked in," he stops speaking when his voice cracks, and she sits her hand on his, her thumb against the napkin around the pretzel.
"Does your mom know?" He shakes his head, and she asks, "What about your brother or your friends?"
"Judy, I'm here by myself with him. It was like three in the morning when he did that," he blurts out while returning his teary eyes to her sympathetic ones. "This was probably the third or fourth time he tried to drown himself and I'm constantly hoping that I can talk some sense into him. My mom already lost one child and if she loses him too, I don't know what'll happen."
"I can talk to him," she suggests, and he takes a deep, shaky breath while staring at the chairs against the wall in front of them. Doctors, nurses, and guests stroll down the hall in both directions and within the seven minutes of them speaking, no one's entered the lobby.
"No, you have enough to deal with and even if you didn't, it's not your problem. Besides, he's too stubborn; you'll talk for hours and when you think you helped, he does it again." Jerome flicks his left hand for emphasis on the situation.
"Well, what's his problem?" He shrugs his shoulders. "You have to know. I mean, he's your brother. You lived with him long enough to notice something off, I'm sure."
"If that's the case then why're your siblings off their rockers?" Before she can think of an answer, a tall white man steps toward them and they turn their heads to him. Jerome darts to his feet and Judith does the same, looking at his worried expression before watching the doctor.
"Mr. Berks, your brother's gonna be okay." Jerome exhales his hitched breath while lifting his left hand to his mouth.
"Thank God," Judith mumbles, placing her hand against Jerome's back.
"Our team managed to revive him so he should be awake soon," the dark-haired man continues, and Jerome lowers his hand to his side. He opens his mouth to speak then the doctor asks, "He's been admitted multiple times this year for these – accidents. Should I be concerned?"
"He's clumsy. I told you earlier he was bathing, and he fell." Judith looks at him when he lies, then at the doctor. "Listen, I know how it looks but he's not like that. He had polio when he was five and it messed him up, so now he stumbles at the worst moments."
"Where are his parents," he asks, and Jerome takes a deep breath.
"Our mom's asleep. She works long hours, and I didn't wanna wake her up over something this small," he explains. "And as for his dad, we don't know. My Dad's probably in New Orleans or Kansas. I haven't spoken to him in years, so I don't know."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Jerome glances into Judy's soft eyes, each breath feeling like a chore. "But I need your mother to come down here."
"He said she's mostly busy," Judith finally interjects and takes their attention. "But we're here so what's going on?"
"Ma'am, who are you?" She raises her eyebrows at his flat tone and turns her expression to Jerome. He shakes his head at her, so she doesn't answer. "Listen, I'm only asking for your parents because I figured he'd like to speak to his family before he's sent to Red Cave."
As Jerome glances to his left and right with confusion on his face, Judith softly sighs, and her shoulders drop. Since she left that place, she vowed to never go back. All those chaotic memories of the people she met, befriended, and avoided were often too much for her, but now, just the sound of its name puts a sour taste in her mouth.
"It's an asylum in Folly Beach," he explains but the expression doesn't leave Jerome's face.
"Okay," he drags with a questioning tone. "Why're y'all sending him there? He's not crazy."
"Sir, I had to report this pattern to my supervisors, and they agreed this seems like a suicide attempt." Jerome catches a breath in his chest, and he prepares to argue, his mouth open. "Listen, I'm sure you believe he's just slippery-footed, but from the outside looking in, plus the number of people coming in after trying to hurt themselves – you have to understand my situation here."
"You can't send him away. I know how it looks but I swear he's not like that. If you let me talk to him, I can even have him admit it." The doctor shakes his head with his lips pursed but Jerome persists. "Please, I can't lose him."
"Sir, the sheriff's been notified already so even if I wanted to, I can't do anything; this is out of my hands. I'm sorry." He purses his lips again, nodding goodbye as he takes a step back. Judith watches him turn away from them and Jerome covers his mouth with his right hand, the pretzel in his left.
As she brings her attention to him, he drags his feet to the window and rests his hands on the rail. She watches his slouched posture and listens to each breath as it fogs the glass. He sounds as if he's cold, but when she sits her palms against his forearm, he's warm.
"Jerome," she calls for him, her voice soft with uncertainty. He doesn't take his eyes off his reflection, and she notices his cheeks burning red. "Hey, how's about we go to Dairy Queen later? My mom promised she'd take Vera, but I know that's a lie."
"No," he says through gritted teeth, a tear dropping under his right eye.
"Come on, it'll help you take your mind off things." Jerome yanks his arm from under her grasp and when he turns toward her, she takes a step back.
"I said no! What the fuck is wrong with you? My brother's being sent away and you're offering me ice cream as if this isn't a big deal," he yells, his voice bouncing off the walls. Judith feels her heart jump into her throat after skipping a beat and to avoid his dark glare, she quickly drops her eyes onto his shoes.
"I didn't mean – I just," she stammers, her throat slowly clenching shut. "I only wanted to help you."
She stops when her voice cracks and shuts her eyes.
"And your idea of helping is not acknowledging what's happening? I can't do that! That's my fucking brother and again, my mom doesn't know he's here and when she does," he pauses to run his hand down his face, a poor attempt to wipe away his sadness. He sniffles at the window and shakes his head. "Please just – go away."
She quickly turns to the halls and walks away from him, her lips parted and trembling. She steps outside of the lobby and glances at him one last time. He's leaning forward with his forehead pressed to the glass and choking over suppressed sobs.
Tears stream down her cheeks from the fear burning in her stomach because of his anger, and sympathy for him. She sniffles and wanders toward the nurse's station but slows near Juniper's room to stare through the glass.
Judith's eyes widen when she sees her kicking her legs above her blankets and thrashing under a burly, brown-skinned man's restraint. He's pressing her to the bed with her arms crossed against her chest, watching the thin nurse shove a needle into her right arm.
As she presses the plunger, Juniper and Judith lock eyes. She stops walking to watch the scene, and when Juniper begins to relax, the man stares down at her as he stands up straight.
"Judy," Sheryl calls for her and Judith blinks forward. Her eyes follow her mother as she speed walks toward her, clutching her purse to her body. "Let's get out of here. Stevie's too tired to speak, and Vera's probably cutting up at home with Rembrandt."
***
Sheryl veers the Citroen in the driveway, turning the key out of the ignition. During the ride, as usual, they didn't speak. The silence grew so deafening that Judith cried to herself and struggled to fight the persistent reminders of her time in Red Cave.
They make their way inside and share a narrowed-eyed glance at the silence in the house.
"Rembrandt, Vera," Sheryl drones as she slowly presses the door shut with one hand. Judith's left arm begins to tingle like a dozen fire ants try burrowing under her skin and as she looks down at it, Sheryl strolls around her with her eyes up the stairs.
"Maybe they're asleep," Judy assumes in a low voice. Her mother doesn't respond, and they listen to the ticking grandfather clock in the corner mask the sound of Judith's nails scratching her dry forearm.
Judith's eyes dart toward the kitchen when Sheryl ascends the stairs, her hand around the rail for support. She steps into the kitchen and Sheryl reaches the second floor. She flicks the light switch atop her index and immediately notices a sheet of paper sitting under the rotary phone.
"Vera, Rembrandt," Sheryl calls for them again. Judith approaches the note, and her eyes scan the text.
I took Vera to Dairy Queen to keep her occupied while you two are at the hospital. We should be back before you get home but if not, we're only in Darlington.
"He's finally making himself useful," she says under her breath after scoffing. She looks at the stairs behind her and raises her voice, "Hey, Mom, they're okay! He left a letter down here saying he took her for ice cream!"
She walks to the arch as Sheryl returns to the banister, overlooking the first floor. They avert their attention to the front door when it swings open and though it's only Rembrandt and Vera, Judith's stomach drops.
She left the door unlocked?
"Well, speak of the devil. We just got home, and I was worried about y'all. How was it," Sheryl asks with a faint grin. Vera keeps her head down as she walks to the stairs and Judith narrows her eyes at her behavior.
"Y'all left the door unlocked," Rembrandt sternly tells her, pressing it shut behind them.
"See, this is why I need to be here. You know what happened to your cousin when she left her windows open." Sheryl rolls her eyes. "Keep acting juvenile if you want to and someone's gonna run in here and remind you why locks exist."
"Okay, whatever, I'll make sure everything's locked from now on." She throws her hands up and backs away from the guardrail.
"Hey, are you okay," Judith asks Vera when she reaches the first step. Usually, she's hard to keep quiet and the excitement of going for ice cream only adds to her talkative nature. "If it's about Stevie, he's fine. We worried for nothing."
"It's not. I'm fine," she says, her voice hoarse as if she were yelling recently. Rembrandt stands behind the television and when Vera looks at him, he raises his eyebrows, and she lowers her gaze onto the floor. "I just need some sleep."
Judith watches her sister rush up the stairs without taking her eyes off their uncle until she reaches the second floor. Judy and Rembrandt turn their heads to each other.
"What's wrong with her," she asks but he doesn't answer. She starts to repeat the question, but he reaches behind him and walks his box of Lucky Strikes to the front door. As he steps onto the porch, Judy stares through the gap between the rails.