Grantaire reaches over to pull my hands off his shoulders. He grabs my hand and I squeeze ever so slightly. He glances over at me and I smile a little. I lean over and whisper, "I thought a little pup might cheer you up." He stares at me and his eyes immediately widen. "G-g-gavroche?" I grin wider now. "You bet," I laugh, a little joyous this time, "Who else?" He spins in his chair and sits with his legs around the back of it. Everyone is saring at us now, so he swallows a few times and forces back tears, trying to look calm and composed. I reach over and take his hand. He decided to study his shoes for a little bit. He was very interested in them for a fair amount of time before looking at me in the eye.
I looked at him back and, after a few minutes, was fighting back tears myself. "I'm sorry I couldn't do it. I tried to keep going. I didn't want this to happen," I say slowly, concentrating solely on making my words come out steadily. Grantaire takes a deep breath and replies, "I don't understand, mon ami. What are you talking about?" "This, all of it. I never wanted to do this to you, to them, to anyone. I didn't want anyone to risk their life for me, but I didn't want to ruin their life either," I begin, my tears threatening to come out so harshly, I am forced to close my eyes, "I don't know how to put in words except for the word 'this'. This is not what I imagined or intended, it is just what is. I'm sorry."