solar clarke's pov:
When I think about having a guy in my bed, it usually doesn't involve reading or minimal physical contact. Although, I must admit, that with Nathan I was happy to even get to look at him while he laid on my bed with his eyes closed and a small smile on his lips.
I was wondering whether he had any idea how radiant he was. He was so altruistic, thoughtful and full of wonder, that it was a mystery to me why everyone disregarded him and praised Nicholas. Maybe it was because Nathan had all those virtues, but didn't make a spectacle of himself. Or maybe it was because he didn't realize how remarkable he was.
It pained me to think he had kept his reading difficulties to himself all these years. It probably meant that he had to work really hard for school to keep up and to hide everyone how "dumb" he was. When in reality he could have gotten all the help he needed and he wouldn't have started to believe he wasn't smart.
I was a little mad at his parents. How could they not see it? I mean, there must have been at least some signs, even if Nathan worked hard to keep the truth from them. Whereas Nicholas was praised for his good grades and being a team captain, it just didn't seem fair to me. And I couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like to live in the shadow of someone who looked just like you.
My hand inched towards Nathan's hair and I brushed my fingers along the side of his head gingerly. His eyelids flickered, but he didn't open his eyes and the smile on his lips grew wider, which I took as a sign that it was okay to proceed.
I forgot the book for a while, when I played with his hair. I swirled a lock of hair around my finger and felt its softness before letting it slip through my fingers. I trailed a finger along his hairline, falling into a trance-like state. Nathan seemed to lean on the touch, which made me grin like an idiot. Like the happiest idiot in the world.
I made sure to take in every detail, like I could learn to memorize all of him. At first my gaze landed on the bruising on his jaw and I was yet again ready to murder the idiot who had dared to hurt him. Then I noticed a faded scar on his chin. I wonder where it came from. I found myself staring at his lips. They were full and soft looking, although slightly chapped.
Then I went back to reading, and it was all I wanted to do for the rest of my life. That and playing with his hair and staring at him. And kissing. Oh, how much I yearned to kiss him.
°°°°
"Oh, would you look at that." Nicholas crossed his arms on his chest and smacked his lips while shaking his head. "It's five past seven, Wilson. Five rounds around the track."
"What? Five rounds for five minutes?" Sebastian crumbled.
"If you keep complaining, I'll keep adding more." The words shut Sebastian's mouth immediately and he carried on to jog around the track. Just to see the sour expression on his face made me grin triumphantly.
I guess you could say that lately Nicholas and I had gotten along better. By better I mean that Nicholas wasn't constantly bugging me in practices and we had stayed out of each other's faces.
Nicholas flashed me a conspiratory smirk, telling me we had a common enemy. Apparently Sebastian's uppercut and him insulting Nathan, Jonathan and their mom was worse than me punching Nathan and stealing him away from a party. Not to take the blame off my actions, but I do believe that Sebastian was way, way worse than me.
The coach wanted to have a few words with the team, and most of his words went in one ear and out the other. My mind wandered to Nathan and I prayed I'd get to see him after the practice and join their table on lunch break. If I didn't, I could always text him, and remembering that curved my mouth into a face-splitting smile.
"Someone seems happy." Johnny nudged my shoulder. He leaned closer and whispered in my ear: "Did you get laid?"
"Why is everything always about sex to you?" I scolded him and I turned my focus back to the coach.
I glanced at Nicholas. It felt strange to look at him while I was thinking about Nathan. Yet, the more I looked at them, the more different they started to look in my eyes. Nicholas' arms were built and his shoulders broad, his hair neatly set and there was just something missing about him. I still wasn't sure if I liked him, even after the explanation Nathan gave to his behavior.
At least I could say that Nicholas was a good team captain. He wasn't all about punishing us for being late. He also made sure everyone did their best at the practices, he made sure our team won. And no one could say he didn't work hard, because, oh, he did. He worked harder than any of us, always giving 110% of himself to the practices.
It wasn't difficult to believe Nicholas was an overachieving perf*ctionist, who was trying to prove something by winning every single game and getting nothing less than straight A's. A part of me wondered if it was because deep down he was just as insecure as Nathan was. That deep down he was terrified of others finding out he wasn't as perf*ct as everyone thought he was.