eating you watch sae's football training, he and the other boys do different exercises on the field. you talk to seishiro, who sits with you.
"and someday the time will come and you'll go your separate ways, then you won't see him anymore anyway" you've been talking about rin for a week now.
you haven't told rin yet that you'll most likely be living together in three weeks. because a part of you undyingly hopes that you're wrong and all the clues were just a figment of your imagination.
"look at him," you are annoyed at the sight of rin alone. "his hair. his voice and that stupid grin. maybe the whole thing is also a chance to poison him slowly but surely. every day i'll mix something into his food" you're already making plans, even if you could never go through with it.
"rin is already annoying, but sae is no better" seishiro speaks from experience.
"sae acts so dumb, but rin really is" you can't believe you really gave your fake boyfriend a good talking to.
"y/n," now seishiro also thinks, "do you like him by now?" he almost wants to puke on the tribune.
"no, never," you lie quickly, looking to sae, who has gone to drink water and is pushing his slightly longer sweaty hair out of his forehead. "but i just think he's only like that with rin"
"because you know him so well?" seishiro raises an eyebrow, being rather ironic and sipping his bubbletea.
sighing, you drop the subject. he's right, after all, you don't really know sae. you only know what he plays you.
it's all a role, right?
"are you going to get your money soon?" he asks, while you frown.
"sae was going to give it to me last week," you search for reasons why he didn't give it to you.
time has passed so quickly, this relationship lives so fast.
"party at my place tonight" is all sae has to say when he comes to you after practice.
"yo trashcan, you can come too. but leave your dog at home" sae now turns to seishiro, talking indirectly about reo.
"have better plans, unfortunately" grins seishiro fake while sae mimics his disgusted facial expression, provoking him with it.
seeing the two of them like this, you'd never guess they used to be friends.
<3
alone you sit on the balcony, which belongs to sae's room. you don't want to go downstairs with the others right now, so you've retreated, drinking alone under the stars at the party.
"i just need to make sure you don't drink yourself to death."
startled, you wheel around, it's sae who takes the cup from your hand and forbids further alcohol. yet he's just as drunk as you are.
"your friends are boring, except for yoichi," you say grumpily, looking up at the starry sky again.
now he feels attacked. "excuse me? you'll soon have money to thank my friends for"
"but where is the money? didn't you want to pick it up last week?" you ask.
"they forgot," he says quickly, changing the subject as he sits down next to you. "why do we hate each other so much?" he asks the question of all questions, which slightly shocks you.
"you're obnoxious - playing pranks. and then you act like i'm the one who started it" you hiss.
now he looks at you with narrowed eyes. "are you serious?"
"you started it all, the moment you read my love letter in front of everyone. then rin got involved too" you remember back to sixth grade when your beef started.
"that was real?" sae widens his eyes, remembering directly.
in sixth grade, during valentine's day, there was this weird trend going around your class. everyone got a typical love letter.
and when sae saw the letter from you on his desk, he immediately assumed that you were making fun of it.
so his childish self read the letter out loud and tore through it. of course, you immediately denied that this letter was real. but in reality, you were just too embarrassed.
"of course it was real," you mutter as you continue to stare at the sky. "everything i wrote back then i meant," you report, now feeling guilty.
"so i smell like roses?" he reveals himself now. now you know that he hasn't forgotten this detail of the letter.
"no, i was just trying to be romantic. in real life you stink" you block him directly, but then have to laugh when you push him and he falls back.
silently you look into the dark sky, which is decorated by brightly shining stars. "don't think i like you now or anything" you mumble.
"never" he breathes, looking over at you.
you know he is looking at you, but you don't want to look at him.
too late, he's already leaning over you. "it's hard for me to hate you" he brushes a strand of hair out of your face, you swallow.
"well, it's extraordinarily easy for me," you quickly interject meekly, hoping to scare him off.
"you're impossible" he grins, lets go of you and stands up.
"where are you going?" you sit up, facing him.
ignoring you, he rummages in one of his drawers, then comes back to you on the balcony.
carefully, he squats down, pauses, before gasping for air. "give me your hand" he demands.
"what? no" you are visibly confused.
"now do it, or i'll freak out" he mumbles now, which is why you sigh and hold out your hand to him.
at first nothing happens, but then he overcomes himself. determinedly he puts a folded letter into your hand "this is my letter for you"
surprised, you want to open it, but he stops you "oh god, don't read it here, do it alone somewhere. i remember how i sat on it for hours and almost used my whole block after you cried because i humiliated you so much" he just won't stop talking.
when sae drinks, he is very talkative and open with you.
"i'm sorry, y/n," he mumbles shortly after "i mean.. that i tore up your letter back then." an apology can never be too late, i guess.
"oh, don't worry about it," you already overplay what happened.
if only he knew how long you cried that afternoon.
and it wouldn't be the last time that you cried for hours because of him.