It never actually occurred to me to ever wonder about Nicco's past. Of course I wondered about the small things..like where he grew up, and what his favorite hobbies are. But never did I ever think about his past relationships.
Now that it's more of a mystery it makes me even more curious. How come he doesn't want to tell me? Is he afraid that he'd give away information? Did he damage those poor girls? Did they damage him? Why is it such a secret.
And then part of me believes that the journey may have been rough for him. Five girls in the past year.. that's like..a lot. Especially in the world we live in. Everyone is holding some sort of disease. Everyone is judgmental. No one means anyone any good.
I just want to know.
A small sigh escapes my lips as I sit against the booth connected to the island near the kitchen. I stare at my eggs and blueberries for a small second before I finally pick one up. My appetite is nearly ruined. I can't even think as so much is on my mind. It makes my mind fried and makes me feel as if I will not be able to comprehend what will happen next.
Nicco's slender body comes down the stairs, him soon turning the corner to find me. I watch him through the corner of my eyes, not bearing to look at him. I don't want to. I'm a bit upset. Why does he keep this from me? He doesn't pay my ignoring look any mind, which I'm sure he notices because he notices everything, and saunters closer to me. He presses a small kiss against my shoulder before taking a plate of food for himself. He picks up a blueberry before leaning his side against the island and staring at me.
"You stopped cooking seven minutes ago and you've barely touched your food" he murmurs, seeming to be barley even containing his displeasure. He's noticed.
"I don't have much of an appetite" I whisper. My eyes draw to his as he stays quiet for a few seconds. And suddenly he starts to move.
He sits his plate of food down and comes closer to me, pressing his frontside against my back. "Come to our bedroom" he says. He nuzzles his nose into my neck, my skin tingling as I can feel the stubble there. But, is he crazy?
"Marnicco, sex will not fix the problem we have. Are you insane?" I pull away, twisting myself to turn and look at him.
He backs away and looks off to the side, like a dog who's been scolded. "Not for sex, come" he looks back at me and holds his hand out. His hand lightly twitches as he holds it out to me, his palm faced upwards. Oh, his vein is nearly popping out of his wrist.
Will this help? Him bringing me to his bedroom. What's there?
I can't help but sigh as the two different answers collide in my head. Yes. No. If I say yes there's a chance that he could whip out some bizarre shit. If I say no that could possibly lead to punishment.
I decide to say nothing. I lift my arm and my hand touches his. His reflexes take place and his hand clasps around mine, soon squeezing it softly. I stand up to him and he pulls me, slowly guiding me up the cold stairs. He pulls me down the corridor and the moment we approach his room he pushes the door open.
"On the bed. Allow me to get something" he says. He speaks with a small tone of urgency, as if he doesn't want to be argued with. I do not so, sitting on the bed and twiddling with my fingers as he disappears into his closet. He comes out a small time later, four folders in his hand.
The folders are black, golden letters on the cover. They seem like names, first and last. He holds them gently as he comes closer to me. He doesn't sit. He stands.
"What is this?" I ask.
"Information about the past women I've dealt with. It was said that I'd never disclose their information so you cannot look at their address or records, but you may seek their pictures and my own description of them".
He hands me the folders. Boy are they thick. And heavy. They also seem to be neat and organized. But why now?
"Why are you giving me this?" I sit the folders beside me, daring to open them.
His jaw tenses. He doesn't really want to share this with me. So why?
"Isn't this what you wanted?" He asked.
My eyebrows push together. "I wanted for you to be truthful to me about what happened. But you've said that you didn't want to share it with me so I'm trying to let it go. Yes I'm a bit upset, but I don't want to force you to give me information. And their folders?" I question. I look to my side and at the first one on the stack. Alaia cabers. Is this one of his previous subs?
"I always scope out my submissive before allowing them in. I receive information about them, which gets printed and kept inside of a safe. Addresses, body measurements, where they work, favorite things to do, basically the whole run down. This helps me become a better dominant for my submissive, and keeps both parties safe" he eyes the folders.
"There are also pictures".
My heart sinks a bit. "Pictures?" I ask.
He nods. "Yes. Both appropriate and the complete opposite. You'll only seek the appropriate ones. The others are locked away. I like to film, well I did. This is sort of like..insurance. In case they want to take me to court for anything, I have this as proof, as well as the signed contracts that this was something both parties consented to".
What the hell! Oh my god. Does he have one of me? Does he take pictures of me? Does he have a folder? Did he scope me out entirely like he did the other girls?
I shake my head as if I am trying to shake the scrambling out of my head. My eyes pinch shut. "Wait" I whisper.
"Do they know?" I ask.
"Yes they do, for the most part. The contract said that I would be allowed updates on their life well after the contracted relationship was over, but they may not think that I am still keeping updates on them" he says.
What? That wasn't on my contract. It wasn't. I read it thoroughly to be sure that nothing would get pass me. Well after the contracted relationship was over? Oh my god.
"The pictures" I snap, looking up at him.
"For the most part, yes" he tells me.
My eyebrows push together. "What does that even mean?" I ask.
"It means that in the contract it was stated that I would be allowed to film or take pictures whenever I'd like" he says.
My body fills with disgust. "Did they know you were filming them at the moment?" I ask. My eyes stare deeper into his as I stay quiet to wait for his answer. "You're going to make me sick" my stomach immediately starts to feel queezy.
"With each session my submissive were taught to go in expecting everything labeled on the contract. Dominant/Submissive relationships are the most intense. Only trained and well knowledged people usually partake in them. My previous submissives were already trained, they knew the risks and what they were getting themselves into with me. They may not have known they were being filmed at the moment, but they knew afterwards, otherwise I would have never kept the proof for insurance" he explains.
He comes closer to me as if he wants to comfort me, to ensure I understand but before I can react, my hand goes out to keep him away from me.
"You didn't-"
"No, I would never" he breathes. He slides his fingers through his hair as his chest weaves from the sudden rush of adrenaline. But I'm rushing too, Nicco. My mind is. I don't even know what to think anymore.
"Your contract said nothing about filming or taking pictures. I would never do anything without consent. You must understand that" he says firmly.
"Well how am I supposed to trust that when you're telling me that they may not have known that you were filming at the time? Do you have cameras here? Recording us when we have sex?" I squeak.
"No" he says sternly.
"I have too much to lose, Elizabeth. Please understand me when I say this. I only do things with consent." He says slowly, his voice showing rising anger.
"I can pull out their contracts if you'd like. I had them laminated" he says with attitude as he reaches for the folders. He takes the first one but my hand goes over it to stop him.
His hand stills, still lightly twitching as he brings his eyes to mine. Jeez. His jaw is tensed. He is angered.
"Okay, I believe you. You don't have to show me" I whisper.
He is easily angered even more. "Really? You believe me? You should have believed me when I said it. Have I ever given you a reason to not believe me?" He asks, his hand pulling away from mine sharply.
"No" is all I can manage to say. I feel as if I'm being scolded for wanting to be sure. "I was scared".
"Scared?" He sounds resigned.
"Sienna do you understand who much self control I have? Especially dealing with someone like you. You are one of the most defy-proned subs I've ever encountered. Most days I want to beat the shit out of you but I don't. I control my urges to be sure that you're okay. I like to film, but if that means doing it without your consent I won't do it." He points his finger, his muscles in his face tensing even more.
"BDSM contracts require trust and honesty. Both parties have to be truthful and honest about their feelings. There are so many things I want to do to you, fuck you in all kinds of ways, beat the hell out of you, make you record for me, choke the shit out of you, but I push those things aside. I am open to you about my sexual urges, parts of my life, everything. The one thing I don't want to share with you, you get angry and it leads us here" he voices.
I look at him mushily. I don't know what to say.
"You push peoples boundaries, Sienna" he says sternly.
"Granted I've pushed your boundaries with the love bites but that was a one time thing. You voiced to me how you felt about it, I never did it again after that. I learned from it".
He shakes his head, looking at me with sternness. "But you, you push peoples boundaries over, and over, and over again. And then you want to complain about punishments when you clearly know the rules. You're an adolescent, but you're old enough to have common sense. You walk around acting as if you have it all together when in reality you have a lot to learn" ouch.
"How about this. I'll have a new and revised contract for you, as well as the laminated version of the old one. That way you can see exactly what you've gotten yourself into. Maybe you didn't read it well enough".
He takes the folders and holds them in one hand. "Now I've just pulled these out for no reason. I'm breaking the rules for you, Sienna, and you can't even see that".
"I'm going to do some work. I'd like it if I weren't interrupted" he turns around and heads to his closet, I'm guessing to put the folders back wherever he's gotten them from.
Maybe I do push his boundaries.
X
"You've been a very bad girl. Very bad"