CHAPTER THIRTEEN
one last night
" BLUER THAN VELVET WAS THE NIGHT. "
—
"IS SHE BREATHING?"
Vader looked over to the silhouette of his old (Y/N) looking down over his new (Y/N). Vader didn't answer her. "What are you doing here?" he asked plainly.
"You shut me out for a long time." she said. "A long eleven years, but now your walls are down." Vader looked at her for a moment, and really stared long and hard. It had been years since he had actually seen her face so clearly, but his subconscious' guilt and regret held a perfect image. From before she died.
"I'm sorry." Vader said, and he genuinely meant it. He wasn't a man that ever felt any remorse for his actions, quite the opposite actually. He enjoyed making people feel pain, it was only a sliver of compensation for all the pain he had endured throughout his entire life. "You're replacing me. Really, you have no need for me anymore."
Frankly, Vader was taken aback by what she said to him. "What?" he asked bluntly. "Your heart is beating for someone else, so I no longer live in the back of your mind. Your heart beat for the memory of me for a long time, but now you've found her." she said.
Vader stared at her, and tried to engrave the image of her into his mind. He had no photos, a blurry memory, and barely any recollection of his (Y/N) aside from his blue blade traveling through her torso. He enjoyed looking at a younger (Y/N) that was reflected in the memory that stood before him. He wanted to say something to her, but he couldn't find the words. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but if he did the reality would sink in. The woman standing in front of him wasn't real. It was just a memory, a figment of his imagination.
"I..." he tried to speak, but nothing came out. "You don't have to say anything." she said. She was slowly beginning to fade, and Vader felt a tear prick in the corner of his eye. "Why are you leaving me?" he finally croaked. "You'll understand, soon."
He was left with the cryptic message as she faded into the Naboo scenery. Vader wanted to break down a little on the inside. Even though he had someone else, he could never let the memory of her go. (Y/N) was far to precious to him, but there was nothing he could do. She was gone, for good this time.
Vader noticed that the (Y/N) on the ground began to stir, so he walked over to her and knelt on the ground next to her. "Are you alright?" he asked her softly. Seeing the image of his love always brought out the best in him, so even though he was angry at her for leaving the feeling didn't last long.
"Anakin..." she mumbled, and Vader froze. Anakin? His mind had to have been playing tricks on him. He hadn't heard that name spoken out loud to him—by a real person—in fifteen years. Although he probably shouldn't have, Vader chose to ignore it. He should have thought more about it, connected the pieces.
The only thing Vader wanted, however, was to enjoy one last night.
One last night of peace, because he had made a decision. If his liking of (Y/N) were to continue the Emperor would eventually find out. He would punish Vader, and kill (Y/N). Likely in front of Vader. So he wanted one final night, maybe even a night to hold her close. To enjoy her presence, one last time before he sent her away.
It was his first selfless act in so long, he actually felt like a good man for once.
—
"Do you feel any better?"
"A little bit," she mumbled. (Y/N) took a small bite of the piece of toast that Vader acquired for her in a local village. It wasn't hard, the population parted like the Red Sea when he came near. Nobody dared to cross him, nobody except for the woman in front of him. First, she was mouthy and pushed her limits, then she was saying his name while she was passed out? Who was she, and what did she know?
Vader promised himself he wouldn't think about any of that, but it was hard not to when she was the only thing that occupied his mind. He let out a long breath to adjust himself, trying to center his mind on the one thing he wanted to focus on. Spending time with (Y/N) for the last time.
"I'm sorry about earlier. Honestly, I was trying to scare you. I thought maybe then that you would run away and realize how bad I am to you."
His apology made her look at him like he had grown three heads, but her expression morphed into a smile shortly after.
"You could never scare me, I was just hungry." she said. She brought her hand up, and began to caress the side of his mask. He felt a strange feeling, her touch warmed him up even though she wasn't anywhere near touching his skin. His body was clad head to toe, yet her touch was able to send electric shocks throughout his whole body. He almost shivered at the contact, but he wanted to remain composed so she wouldn't remove her hand.
"When you feel stronger you should start to get ready for the ball. We should be leaving soon." he said softy. She nodded, removing her hand from his face and his body instantly froze at the lack of her touch. He almost sighed from the loss of contact, but his voice modulator would have made it sound suspicious.
She left, presumably to go to one of the quarters to get ready. Vader walked towards the back of the ship, to his quarters. On every ship, his quarters had an oxygen tank that he could breathe freely in. Equipped with a mirror as well, so he could keep track of his unruly appearance so being under the mask didn't get too uncomfortable.
He took a deep breath before turning the handle and entering the chambers. His lungs felt instant relief as he began to breathe in pure oxygen. He removed his mask, feeling even better as the oxygen entered his lungs from his nose and mouth. He breathed in deeply, enjoying the feeling of pure bliss. Even with the suit he was in constant pain, it was the Emperor's sick way of keeping him in line.
Vader walked over towards the mirror, and removed the cloth covering it. He took in a sharp breath as he looked at his appearance. "No." he said. "It's not possible."
His hair was as unruly as ever, he wasn't shaven so he had grown a bit of a stubble, he hadn't aged that much because of his Master's force manipulation, but there was one thing out of place. Instead of the menacing yellow with hints of red and amber tones, his eyes were a crystalline blue. A pure blue. A blue that reflected the color of hope, and his lightsaber.
"What have you done to me?" he asked the mirror. His comment, however, was directed at (Y/N). Without even realizing it, she brought Anakin Skywalker back from the dead. And Vader was terrified. He had to get rid of her, for both of their sakes. Not even just hers.
He placed the cloth back over the mirror, not wanting to stare at his reflection any longer. He took deep breaths, enjoying the feeling of breathing without the burning sensation he typically felt. With one last deep breath, he placed his helmet back over his head and exited the chamber. When he exited, the first thing he noticed was her.
She was standing there elegantly, even though she wasn't even trying. The oxygen that he so desperately craved and just satisfied himself of had left his body. Taken away by the mere beauty of the woman standing before him. "There you are." she smiled. "I was wondering where you went."
Vader was baffled at how she could just make casual conversation when she had him so smitten. "I was in my oxygen chamber." he said once he finally found the breath to formulate words beyond a blabbering mess.
After their formalities were exchanged, Vader took a second to take in her appearance. The dress she wore was long and silky, clinging to her body at the top and fanning out at the bottom. The a-line neckline exposed her shoulders and collarbone, and the silky material looked amazing against her skin.
"Are we back on Coruscant yet?" she asked. To Vader, it was like she was staring right into his soul. He felt so vulnerable around her, so weak. "I think so, let me go check." he excused himself. He shuffled out of the room quickly, desprate to escape from the trance she had unknowingly put on him. Or maybe she did know, he wouldn't put it past her.
"Almost," he said. He wasn't entirely sure, but based on the amount of time they had been in hyperspace he was almost positive they were close to Coruscant. "Okay." she smiled.
Her smile lit up the room, it was like the brightest star in the galaxy Vader had flown all over. The voices in Vader's mind were colliding, wanting their opinion to be heard.
She's the love of your life. Screw your wife, treasure her.
Palpatine will kill you if he finds out. Even worse, he'll kill her right in front of you.
She knows your real name, someone sent her here to get in your head.
She could never love a freak like you.
You're in over your head, Anakin.
"Shut up!" Vader yelled under his breath. "What?" (Y/N) asked. "Nothing, sorry." he said. "I think we're almost to Coruscant, I should go check." Vader excused himself from the room, not able to handle the way her intoxicating scent was lingering in his lungs. Vader was incapable of holding his breath, with risk of quite literally just dying from a lack of oxygen.
"When are we arriving?" he asked. Vader was breathless, looking at the clone piloting the ship for an answer. "We're landing right now, sir." he replied. Vader nodded, remaining in the back of the room with his arms crossed. He needed a few more moments before he would have to be in such close proximity to her for the rest of the night.
He needed his oxygen room again, he needed to take his mask off and be Anakin for one more moment. To see his shining blue eyes and actually feel like a person for once. To feel like a person, and not a soulless monster all the time. As the seconds went on, Vader craved to be Anakin Skywalker even more and more. He wished life could be easy again, being a Jedi that was fighting the darkness. There was no way he could fight the darkness this time, because he was the darkness. Vader became the one thing he swore to destroy, and he was actually starting to regret it.
For years, he was Darth Vader with no remorse whatsoever. For fifteen years. The years were long and excruciating now that he felt what it was like to be Anakin again. Being Anakin Skywalker was far easier than being Darth Vader. Because Anakin was just a normal guy, and Vader was the ruler of the galaxy.
Anakin was going to be a father. He was going to be a devoted husband. He was going to leave the Jedi order once his baby was born. He was a good person. Vader was the complete opposite, he was the one who killed those dreams. Quite literally, whenever he stabbed his wife in the stomach with his lightsaber.
Vader shakily exhaled, receiving a strange look from the clone that was piloting the ship.
You won't kill her.
Don't kid yourself. If you don't kill her, Palpatine will.
"We've landed, sir." Thank Force. "Thank you." he responded. The clone looked shock that Vader even paid him anymore attention, but quickly hid his facial expression. Vader fished some imperial credits from his pocket and threw it at the clone. "Buy yourself something nice while we're gone." he said before leaving.
Vader was in a nice mood, because he didn't want to be that heartless person anymore. A woman was all that it took to make him a changed man. Listen to yourself...you sound crazy.
A woman brought the famous Darth Vader to a standstill. Pathetic, really.
He took a deep breath before exiting the cockpit, preparing to face his demise. That's what the woman was, his demise.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked. (Y/N) turned around and grinned at him. Stop fucking smiling. "Ready as I'll ever be." she said. She snaked her arm through his, and he let out a shaky breath at the proximity. The ship's ramp lowered and the two exited, being met with the crowd at the ball.
"Lord Vader! This is your first appearance at the ball, ever! Tell us, what made you want to attend?" a reporter asked. It took everything Vader had to not choke the living daylights out of the reporter. "Emperor couldn't make it." he said, bluntly. (Y/N) slapped him on the arm, as if she was urging him to not be rude to the reporter. "He's just a stupid fucking reporter." he growled. She rolled her eyes, and plastered a smile on her face for the crowd that was massing.
"Let's just get in, have our dance, and get out. These people are insufferable." he grumbled. "Alright, grumpy-pants." she smiled. Vader rolled his eyes, but he couldn't deny the smile that was playing at his lips. What was this woman doing to him?
"Who is this?" a woman asked. Vader and (Y/N) turned their head to the source of the noise, and Vader frowned and (Y/N) froze in shock.
"Padmé, why haven't I killed you yet?" he asked. "Maybe because I'm an Imperial Senator for the Royal House of Naboo?" she scoffs. "You know what you are? A royal pain in my ass." he spat. He grabbed (Y/N)'s arm and dragged her away from the Senator. He could hear her laughing from her spot on the dance floor and he wanted to turn around and stab her with his lightsaber. Or he could choke her with his bare hands, it would be nice to watch the life drain out of her annoying eyes.
"Who was that?" (Y/N) croaked. She seemed shaken from the meeting with Padmé, was she jealous? "This bitch of a Senator. She's on my hitlist, don't worry. Not my fuck list." he laughed. Her troubled expression didn't ease, and his playful mood turned into something entirely different. "Are you okay?" he asked in a soft voice. He rubbed her arm with his flesh hand, trying to get her to look at him. Her lip was trembling and tears were threatening to spill from her eyes.
"I didn't know Senators would be here. I don't like politics." she mumbled. Vader laughed, enveloping her into a hug. He could hear conversation in the room cease at his public display of affection, but he couldn't care less in that moment. All he wanted to do was comfort (Y/N), everyone was too scared to go near him regardless. A small hug wouldn't change that, but it might increase his approval rating.
Vader turned his head, and Padmé was no longer in the room.
Where the hell did she go?
"Let's dance." he said. He grabbed (Y/N)'s hand, leading her out to the dance floor. He placed one hand on her waist and the other on her shoulder as they spun around the dance floor. Their bodies fit together perfectly as they danced to the soft beat. Couples began to make their way onto the floor as the song progressed, and Vader felt more peaceful than he had in ages. Typically, a room full of people made him feel uneasy. But with (Y/N) in the room, it was heaven. He wasn't even thinking about everyone else in the room, only about her.
"Lord Vader, I have a package for you." a clone said. "What is it?" Vader asked. He let go of (Y/N) and turned to face the clone. "Not sure, it was in your mailbox at the palace. The clones deemed it as safe."
Vader dismissed the clone, opening the box up.
Beep, beep, beep.
Boom.