53 | The End Of A Fairytale
I'm going to tell him everything.
After the failed attempt to wash away Rafael's touch, I headed downstairs, fearing to meet anyone's eyes.
What I'd done last night was beyond wrong. I knew Harri and I couldn't succeed as a couple right when we kissed. I felt nothing.
I realized that no matter how amazing a person I find for myself, I was never going to get over Rafael. As unhealthy as it sounded, but it was the sad truth.
Harrison deserved someone better than a cheating slut.
"Can you please tell me where's Harrison, the new guard?" I asked one of them, the fear of confrontation elevating every second. But it had to be done.
"I think he's stationed at the main foyer, ma'am."
"Alright, thank you." I smiled, heading in the direction of the stairs but just then a firm grip pulled me inside the study.
"What the fuck, Rafael!" I spat, pushing him away. I noticed he was dressed in his formals, maybe just about to leave for work.
"We need to talk." His hands snaked around my waist, tugging me closer to him. My efforts to move away only made his grip more firm.
"Rafael, let go! I've got something important to do."
"Are you sore from yesterday night?" He mumbled into my hair, pulling me more into him. He suddenly turned us around so that my back was now facing the door.
Why was he behaving so weirdly?
"What are you upto, Rafael?" I narrowed my eyes, sensing someone wrong.
"You think he can help you forget me? You think he can fuck you senseless like I did last night? No he can't, can you Harrison?"
My struggle came to a halt. My heart stopped. My blood ran cold.
No. He wasn't here. Rafael was messing with me.
He finally let go of me but I was too scared to turn back. Rafael's evil grin wasn't giving out any good signals.
"Vittoria?" Harri's smooth voice, just above a whisper cut through the stillness around me, overburdened with hurt and pain.
Gathering all my courage, I turned back and looked into his eyes. I died a little. My lungs begged for air but I couldn't breathe.
"I was going to tell you, Harri. I'm sorry." I walked up to him but he stepped back, not wanting my filthy self to touch him.
"I believe you." She sneered, poison dripping from his words.
I was starting to panic. How was I going to handle this situation? It was only getting worse.
"You did this on purpose!" My eyes burned as I hurled a hatred filled glare at Rafael. "How could you be so cruel, Rafael!"
"He needed to know that he was being used. I know for a fact that you are extremely capable to hurt someone's heart. Now move. Unlike you, I've got work to do." He shouldered his way out, glaring at Harrison as he left.
Silence stretched between us. I had no words to speak. Harri stared at me for a while as if debating over something but turned away mutely.
"No, wait! Harri!" I followed him, holding his arm which he shrugged away in disgust. "There's no way I can justify what I've done. But I need you to believe me when I said I wasn't using you to make him jealous. You can hate me all you like but-"
"Save it for someone who believes you, Vittoria." He said coldly and walked away, leaving me alone in the hallway with my regret.
And fury.
Never did I imagine Rafael would do something so low. He wanted to hurt me, okay. But he had no right to hurt Harrison.
My eyes fell over him exiting through the main door and my feet carried me downstairs in full speed which increased furthermore as I saw him reach his car standing ready for him near the stairs.
"Rafael!" I yelled, violently turning him back. My hand raised up in the air and plummeted down more fiercely, landing harshly on his cheek. I hoped the sharp sound of the slap calmed me down.
It didn't.
I doubt it had any effect on him. His face, cold and impassive didn't move an inch. Darkened charcoal orbs pierced through me, the heat of his anger mingling with that of mine which was way more intense than his.
Our burning gaze didn't break as he clasped his fingers around my throat, slamming me against his car.
"You bitch."
"You asshole."
His grip grew more tight and painful. The hickeys on my neck burned and blood pounded into my ears but my rage overpowered every other sensation.
"Rafael! What are you doing! Let go!" Toby ran down the stairs frantically, trying to pry him off me.
"Stay out of it." Rafael used his other hand to push him away. His eyes didn't leave mine and I returned the favor.
He thinks he can scare me? Keep dreaming, mon chéri.
"No I won't when you're hurting her just to take out your anger." Toby yelled and forced him away from me. "Bless your stars Mason and Oliver aren't home to see this."
"I said this is between us. Don't get involved."
"It's okay, Toby. I'll handle this myself." I said, silently thanking him.
"Are you sure?" He eyed his cousin skeptically but left after throwing him a warning.
"Yes Rafael, go ahead." I placed his hand back on my throat. "Hurt me. I want to see how far can you go. I won't protest. I won't defend myself. I won't even make a sound. I promise." My voice turned brittle and finally it broke like the barrier holding my tears in.
My body, to weak to bear the burden slumped down against the car. I wrapped my arms around myself and bowed my head down, cowardly awaiting his next blow.
A pair of warm hands which now felt cold enveloped around me in their deceiving embrace. I hated it. I hated his touch. But I hated myself more for being addicted to that very touch.
I was trying so hard not to see the familiarity of this situation and compare it with what happened last time— in that deathlike alleyway.
It was me, him and Caleb.
Now it was me, him and Harrison.
No, no, no! Don't think about it, Vittoria. He has changed.
But had he really?
"What do you expect from me, Rafael?" I asked, my voice low and lifeless. "To keep crying over you?"
"What are you saying." He helped me up but at the same time trapping me between his body and the car. The pad of his thumb gently wiped away my tears.
"If you move on, that's fine. But if I try to do the same, I can't. Why, Rafael? What am I supposed to do when you marry her?"
"Who said I'm marrying her?" He gasped.
"You won't stay engaged to her forever."
"Why does everyone think I've moved on, goddammit! Is that why you gave up on me?"
I don't get what was so surprising in it.
"You're wearing that ring, she's in your room all the time and you've publicly announced your fiancée to the world. You think we're all fools?" I jabbed a finger in his chest. "Oh and not to mention the way you treat me— like I'm a fucking curse or something."
His jaw dropped down and he stared at me looking almost terrified and appalled while he instinctively stepped back. "Is that how you're seeing this situation?"
"How else am I supposed to see it then?"
He muttered something under his breath, held my hand and tugged me back into the house. Too weak to protest, I followed him into a room which he locked behind us.
"You've got it all wrong, Vittoria." A contrasting desperation floated in his voice. He cupped my face but I pushed him away.
"Don't touch me."
He jumped back like he was scared I would break down once again. "I wore that ring to spite you. I thought it would break you and make you change your mind. Nothing happens between Camila and me when we're in my room alone. I haven't even kissed her. Not even once. About the announcement, that was a misunderstanding."
"Oh really?" I scoffed.
"Yes. Trust me, Vittoria!" He almost begged. "That day Camila showed up all of a sudden and everyone saw the ring on her finger and you know how the paparazzi is. I didn't make the official announcement. Tell me love, did you ever heard me say that I'm going to marry her?"
Why can't I trust him now? Why were we even talking about this? Why did we cheat on the people we were with? None of this made any sense.
"You keep ignoring me, Vittoria. You don't talk to me and then this happens."
What was I supposed to say to him? I tried doing the infamous right thing by backing off because I was the one coming between them. Then one fine day I realized the joke is on me. Camila wasn't worth my sacrifice but by that time Rafael had already slipped out from my hands. He had accepted his life with her. Or maybe not if what he just explained was really the truth.
How was I supposed to tell him to forget all that I'd decided for us, leave her and come back to me? The best way I thought to deal with the self destroyed situation was to forget the past and look ahead. I admit I've made mistakes as well. But at that time I was just trying to do what was expected of me.
"You didn't have to hurt Harrison like this. You had no right to. He didn't deserve this." I sobbed.
Rafael's face twisted in disgust at his mention. "We both know he was just a pawn in this game. You still love me. Don't even try and deny it. You fail every damn time."
"No Rafael! He wasn't just a pawn." I yelled, slamming my hand over the window frame. "I may love you but I did like him and I'm not going to deny it."
"Shut up!" He hurled a ceramic vase over the wall which splintered into pieces.
"No I won't. I felt happy, genuinely happy with him. And you hadn't been treating me very well. I desperately needed a reason to smile. He became one."
I missed him. I needed him with me right now. Maybe not as my boyfriend or even friend. I just needed him, that's it.
"Fine, I'm sorry." He held my hand. "But you know how I am, love. I'm afraid to show my fear so I conceal it as anger. I was so close to making you mine forever and then you separate us because of some other person. Think about what I must be going through. I have feelings too, Vittoria."
"Now I'm really starting to question all of it. Is this really love, Rafael?"
My question petrified him. He quickly placed my hand over his chest. "See for yourself. Do you feel the beat of my heart?"
I did. It felt it yesterday night as well when I fell asleep to it.
I mirrored his action, guiding his hand over my heart. "You see this? It's the same as yours. But I think this is just an obsession. We're obsessed with each other."
He retraced his hand like he'd touched fire, a familiar fear showing in his eyes.
"Don't give me that look Rafael. See this." I pointed at my neck which now carried the marks of his fingers. "These will turn blackish blue by tomorrow like I had one over here." I showed him the area on my left arm which had a similar bruise caused by him.
"Tell me Rafael, do you hurt someone you claim to love so much? Physically as well as emotionally. Just admit it that you wanted to hurt me. That's why you did what you did— yesterday as well as today."
"Y-yes. You're right." He whispered, horrified and disbelieved at the notion. "Don't you see, Vittoria! I go back to being that monster the moment you leave me. I don't want to be that person again. Help me, please! I'm scared."
"I don't know how to do that, Rafael. Maybe the problem is with me. I loved you a lot. So much that I couldn't see the boundary separating love and obsession."
"No." He shook his head frantically. "I love you. My love is pure. Don't you accuse me of that."
"You wouldn't have deliberately made me fall in that person's eyes who I liked. You like it or not, this isn't love. The truth is we never really understood each other. That's the very reason why all this happened."
"Then who loves you? That Harrison?" He spat, the darkness crawling back into his eyes.
"I don't know if he loves me. But yes, I'd consider myself lucky if he decides to give me one more chance."
Those words made him go insane.
"He won't!" Rafael screamed, slamming his palm ove rthe wall next to me, making me flinch at his abrupt fierceness. "I don't think you quite understand what happens to those who try to have eyes on my love."
"Rafael!" I warned, although my voice faltered slightly. All the rationality flew away and he was back to being the scary Rafael. This back and forth was dangerous. "You need to put a control on your anger. You want to be the good Rafael, don't you?" I placed a hand over his heaving chest, the fear still prominent.
I never felt afraid of him, no matter how angry he was. But now, it had changed. Guess that said a lot about the level of trust we shared.
"I will tolerate everything, Vittoria. But not this. I fucking lose my mind and control when anyone tries taking you away from me. Don't forget what happened to Caleb and Daniel."
Boom!
And then nothing.
"Daniel?" I gasped, fearing the answer.
"Daniel is dead." He whispered threateningly, stepping closer to once again trap me between him and the wall. "He tried sleeping with you. I could've let him live."
This wasn't my Rafael.
This was the old Rafael.
My Rafael never existed.
He was just a figment of my imagination.
"Let me go." I quivered, pushing him away with my shakeing hands. He didn't even budge. "You're scaring me Rafael."
He pinned my hands to the wall and locked my legs. I couldn't move an inch to defend myself.
Watch the girl you love get fucked right before your eyes.
Those words reverberated in my mind. It was the same fear I felt that night. This was the same Rafael.
"A-are you going to force me again?" Rationality escaped from me and there was just fear.
He wouldn't do that, no!
"Don't you dare blame it all on me. You were practically begging me to fuck you."
I remained silent, not really thinking about last night. He sensed it. He stepped away, clear agony entrusting his entire self.
"Oh my god, Vittoria!" He let out an incredulous gasp. "You're thinking about..." He couldn't find a way to complete it.
"This was all my fault. I own up to it. Please don't hurt Harrison." I cried, begging him.
"You think I'm the same person. Do you think I wouldn't have stopped last night if you asked me to?" He managed somehow, his words dragged as if he was speaking with so much trouble.
I chose not to speak, fearing I'd worsen the situation.
"Why do you keep hurting me like this, Vittoria? Do you enjoy doing this to me?"
A moment of deafening silence passed and then it snapped.
"If that's how low you think of me, then there's nothing left for me to say." He looked straight into my eyes which were trained down.
"I don't know what to think. That's the problem. You say something and then do something completely opposite. I feel like I don't know you anymore."
"I don't feel like I know myself either. But I know one thing crystal clear. And I've got you to thank for it."
His fingers grazed over my neck, a painful regret swarming his gaze which suddenly turned hard again.
"This fairytale has come to an end, Vittoria Andress."
Toby: *pacing around anxiously* How can the author hide such a big thing from us. We'd never know if I didn't eavesdrop.
Mason: Yeah, she disappointed me too with this one.
Toby: How can she hide it from us all this time! She has one more-
Mason: Hush, Toby! We can't tell everyone. She might kill us in the middle of the book! We have to take this one to the grave.
Toby: *makes a sad determined face* We'll take this one to the grave!