Six days had passed since Remus had learned of Virgil's secrets. Deep in his mind, he knew his friend had meant well, but it infuriated him that the others couldn't seem to understand that Remus wasn't just the ignorant comic relief. That wasn't their worst offense in his eyes, but there was no point in bringing any of it up. They wouldn't change.
Since obtaining the copy of his notes, he had been actively ignoring and avoiding Virgil, who he knew was still taking notes. He wasn't willing to give him any more information than he had to, and staying away from him seemed the best way to go about that. More than once, Patton, or worse, Roman had come to him to try and get him to reconcile with Anxiety, but he wasn't ready to forgive him yet. Besides, he still had a point to prove and it was one that was going to take time.
There was one thing that Remus had respected thus far; in order to get his notes, he had promised not to say anything to Janus about his sleep-walking. Something about that promise just didn't sit right with him and had been eating at him for days. Of all the sides, Janus was by far his closest friend. He was the one who could tell when he was upset, he was the one he could talk to, he was the one who never - well, that didn't matter now. It bothered Remus to keep something so important from him, especially when he could use Janus's help on the matter.
After Virgil had gone to bed for the afternoon and the light-sides had busied themselves with their work, Remus finally broke. Taking the notes Anxiety had given him along with all of his own research, he stepped quietly out of his room. Glancing around to make sure he wasn't being watched, he tip-toed past Virgil's door to Janus's. Knocking lightly, he waited for it to be answered.
A moment later, Janus stood before him sporting a confused expression. "Remus?"
"Hey, Dee..." He knew the potential consequences to what he was about to do, but he needed someone to talk to who wouldn't just brush him off as ignorant or idotic. "Can I talk with you about something?"
"You're never welcome here." To someone else, the words would have hurt, but he knew what Janus really meant, especially considering he moved aside to allow Remus inside.
As he entered, the door was closed behind him, and Janus took off his gloves as if on instinct before heading further into the room. There were bags under his eyes, and something told him it came from his sleep-walking episodes, which only strengthened Remus's resolve. If Virgil was trying to help, this sure was a funny way of showing it.
Remus still wasn't sure how Janus was going to react to what he had to say, but he wasn't going to keep this from him. Still, as much as he tried to calm his nerves, the papers fluttered within the binder he held in his shaking hands.
"What is it, Remus?" Janus held his normal reserved demeanor, but a glitter of concern quickly entered his gaze. He turned, placing his full attention at the binder and Remus's worries; a kindness few showed him. It left him to wonder if he would do the same when Virgil finally decided to approach him. "Remus, is something wrong?"
He hadn't realized he'd lost himself in thought until he was addressed for a second time. "W-Well, to start off... I've been sleep-walking, apparently." Remus took a seat on the floor next to Janus's chair, holding the binder in his lap. "Virgil knew, but he didn't say anything." He paused, ensuring his temper remained in check and to keep his voice steady in what he was about to say. "It's not just me sleep-walking either..."
As he trailed off, he could see the thoughtful look in Janus's eyes as he pondered what he'd just been told. "Sleep-walking?"
"It's basically where you walk and talk in your sleep," Janus placed a hand on his shoulder - he must have been more aware of his nervousness than he thought, "And apparently, I've been doing it."
"What can I do to help?" Remus was thankful that someone was willing to take him seriously, hear him out, and offer to help where he could.
The offer reaffirmed his decision. He had to tell Janus what he knew. It was only fair, considering he had just opened his door to Remus without question. Taking a deep breath, he met his friend's gaze in an attempt to prove he wasn't the one keeping information a secret from him. "You've been sleep-walking too." Shock mingled with a spark of anger took over Janus's expression, but he remained silent for the moment, allowing Remus to continue. "Virgil knows. He's been keeping notes in an attempt to help us," He gestured to the binder in his lap, "But doesn't want us to know yet for reasons that honestly sound like bullshit to me, but that's not the point right now."
Janus seemed to be trying to rein in whatever it was he was feeling as he took a deep breath. When his eyes opened his voice came out as a low hiss. "How long?" His fists were clenched at his sides. He was understandably angry, making Remus wish he'd told Janus sooner. "How long have I been sleep-walking?" His eyes narrowed. "And how long have you known?"
Remus didn't want to betray the trust of the only real friend he had, but there was no getting out of it. "You've been sleep-walking for a while, but I didn't know it was an issue until Virgil said something. As for the notes... I've only known about that for a few days."
Janus took in a deep breath, trying to process what Remus had just told him. He was a sleep-walker. He had been for some time. But no one had told him. It made sense that Remus hadn't said anything; it had never proven to be a problem, so he had just seen it as a quirk. Janus would have thought the same thing in the inverse. What angered him was Virgil. He knew about their sleep-walking habits, he knew that it was an issue, and yet, he had chosen to say nothing. He thought that he had finally been gaining back the trust which had been lost between himself and Virgil, but clearly he was wrong.
Glancing over, he could tell that Remus was worried about his reaction, and the truth was, Janus wasn't mad at him. He'd been the one to tell the truth, and he was dealing with the same issues, so it made no sense to be angry with him. He gave his friend a small smile, which calmed him somewhat. "Thank you for letting me know." He glanced over to the door. "I'm... going to go talk to Logan about this."
Janus was putting on his hat and gloves as Remus spoke, "Just make sure Virgil isn't around. I promised him I wouldn't tell you."
Another flame of anger towards Virgil ignited within Janus, but he suppressed it, putting his gloves back on as he got ready to leave. "You have my word." He started for the door, but looked back over to Remus once they were in the hall. "Go do something reckless."
Dipping his head to his friend, Janus headed down the stairs to the common-room. On his way to speak with Logan, he noted Virgil speaking quietly to Roman. He wanted to march over and confront his old friend, but he knew the action would do nothing in the long term, so he tucked the idea away for later.
Making his way to the library, it didn't take him long to locate Logan, who was sitting before a fireplace in a lush armchair. As Janus approached, he looked up, setting his book aside. "Is there something I can help you with?"
"Sleep-walking. What information do you have on it?"
He didn't miss the way Logan sat up straighter, his body language changing to that of worry and contemplation. Finally, he gestured for Janus to sit in the chair opposite him. "Is there a particular reason you're interested in the topic of somnambulism?"
Deceit didn't yet want to tell him that he was aware of his own sleep-walking habits, for fear he would take the information to Virgil. "Yes. Remus came to me. He told me about his sleep-walking, and I wanted to find out how dangerous it is."
Logan reached up to take a book from the shelf, speaking as if the information he was giving were simple and common knowledge. "It can be very dangerous," He glanced over a page in the book he had retrieved before turning back to Janus, "Somnambulism, or sleep-walking as it is colloquially known, can cause incidents with potentially threatening outcomes." He paused briefly. "Usually, it is caused by one's subconscious fears and or negative thoughts." Janus made a point to keep his expression stoic, so as to not let on how worried he was both for himself and Remus. Logan had little reason to lie, and what reason he did have was most than likely overridden by his desire to give accurate information. "If you are concerned about Remus's somnambulism, the best advice I can give is to try talking with Virgil. All of the light-sides have struggled with these issues in the past and he was able to help all of us, so I'm sure he'd be able to do the same for Remus." Logan paused as if waiting for a reply, but when none came, he spoke again. "I could accompany you to speak with him, if you like, but I highly encourage you to talk with him."
Janus thought over the suggestion; the last thing he wanted to do currently was ask Virgil for help. Still, he was looking for answers, and apparently Virgil was the only one who had them. Taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, Janus merely nodded, at which Logan got to his feet.
Silently, the pair of them began making their way through the library towards the commons, but the quiet allowed Janus's mind to race. Virgil had been keeping secrets. A lot of secrets. Janus had been under the impression that they had been mending their relations, but Anxiety's recent actions seemed to be proving him wrong.
Turning the corner into the commons, he could hear Virgil chatting amiably with Patton. The mere sound of his voice being used in such a lackadaisical fashion despite the recent events sent him into a rage. Approaching the kitchen, Janus slammed his hand down on the counter, watching Virgil jump and spin around. The moment they locked eyes, Janus hissed, "You're always so truthful, aren't you Virgil?" His voice dripped with disdain. "Always noble, always trying to prove yourself, and yet, you let those who have stood by you the longest slip to the wayside!" His voice rose in volume now. "We thought we could trust you now, but how are we supposed to trust you when you keep secrets from us? Why didn't you just tell us about the damn sleep-walking?!"
He watched the color drain from Virgil's face, and for a few moments, he remained silent. Clearly trying to figure out what to say next. Still, his silence spoke volumes; even when directly confronted, he seemed hesitant to tell the truth. Finally, Virgil walked out of the kitchen to speak to him directly. At least he still had enough respect to do that.
Clearing his throat, Virgil's voice came out cautious. "I wanted to make sure I had all the information I could and had worked out ways to help you before I told either of you about this." He shook his head. "It was not my intention to betray your trust, I simply wanted to-"
He was cut off as Roman appeared on the stairs, drawn to the commons from the raised voices. A moment later, he glared at Janus, jumping in Virgil's defense, "Back off, you two faced snake! He's only trying to help!"
Unwilling to take anymore of Roman's heroics, Janus decided to strike like a viper, biting where it would hurt both him and Virgil the most. In his anger, Deceit shapeshifted into the one standing before him, speaking in his voice, "'After all, we got along just fine without him in the first two Sanders Sides episodes!'"
Roman froze, and a look of betrayal entered Virgil's gaze as the words sank in, persisting even after Janus returned to his normal form. The statement seemed to hit home for Roman as he realized how cruel he had once been, and he had expected Virgil to react in much the same way. Instead, he took a pace away from the Prince, glaring at him. Something told Janus this was the first time he was hearing the words, something he hadn't expected.
"We'll talk about that later Roman." Anxiety took in a shaky breath, trying to keep his own anger in check as he turned back to Janus. "I just wanted to help. How did you even find out about this?"
"Remus came to me. Frightened." He kept a glare carefully locked on Virgil. "He told me that I have been sleep-walking, and I want to know why no one else bothered to tell me that?"
Logan appeared concerned, but not for any of the ones before him now. "Where is Remus as of this moment?"
"Last I saw, he was heading for his room. Why do you ask?" He hissed protectively, "Why are you concerned all of a sudden?"
"We've always cared, kiddo."
Janus sneered, but before Patton could continue, Logan piped up once more. "I suggest we find Remus. If he's distressed, he might attempt to duck out in a similar fashion to Patton."
Janus turned to look at the parental side in shock. "You tried to duck out?"
Patton rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze to the floor. "Y-yeah." Roman placed an arm around their friend as he seemed to grow more upset. "I was in a bad headspace at the time, a-and in trying to cling on to what little control I felt I had, I... I decided to leave, before anyone else could leave me."
"So... So that could happen to Remus?!" Janus felt panic rising in his chest, threatening to claw its way to the surface, "I- I'll go check my room to see if he's there. We have to find him!"
Roman watched as Janus darted off, but his gaze soon shifted back to Virgil, who stood stock still. Judging by the expression on his face, he didn't know what to do; run after Janus or go off on him.
There were many situations from the earlier videos that the Prince regretted, many things he wished he had or hadn't done and many things he wished he had or hadn't said. Of all these things, one stood out in his mind above all, and Janus had just reminded everyone of it. After Virgil's reformation, Logan and Patton had agreed it was best not to tell Virgil what had been said, and Roman had been grateful for their silence.
Now, the one who he had barely had time to become friends with looked as if he had just suffered a physical blow. "'We got along just fine without him in the first two Sanders Sides videos?'" Roman swallowed hard as Virgil slowly turned to face him, the betrayal in his eyes making it impossible for the Prince to find his voice. Then again, even if he could, was there really anything that would make up for what he'd done? He was torn from his thoughts by Virgil's menacing tone, "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
He watched Virgil look over to Patton and Logan, who both seemed unsure of what to do, but his gaze quickly returned to Roman. He almost wished Virgil would yell, cuss him out, anything that would have looked like an argument they'd had in the past. Something to show him that there was a chance of reconciliation. But the restraint and unwillingness to bicker cut deep. It left him to wonder if Virgil would ever forgive him for what he'd said, or if he even deserved that forgiveness. "It-I- pl-please understand- I- when I-"
"Virgil, it was a long time ag-"
Patton cut off as Virgil held up a hand, "I appreciate you trying to help, Patton, but this is something I need to hear from Roman." He took in a shaky breath as he turned back to the Prince. "Continue."
Roman couldn't bear to meet his friend's gaze. "O-Of course...Virgil, please understand that I said those things before I knew you." He shook his head. "Oh, that doesn't condone it though."
"No. It doesn't." His head snapped up as Virgil turned away from him, his voice dejected. He turned to look at Patton and Logan, the latter of whom seemed nervous, glancing towards the deeper mind-palace. Anxiety took in a slow breath, "Janus is right. Now isn't the time for this."
Patton took a small step forward. "But-"
"Not now, Patton." Virgil sounded almost grief-stricken, and as he spoke Roman could have sworn his jacket looked darker than usual. He was torn from his thoughts, however, as Anxiety started for the shadowed corridors. "Come on, let's go look for Remus before he does something he regrets."
Logan was swift to follow after Virgil, but Patton hesitated, glancing over to Roman. "Just give him some time, kiddo. I think it just shocked him, that's all, he'll come around, you'll see."
He swiftly followed after the others leaving Roman alone in the commons. Alone. It was better than he deserved, if he was being honest. He had said those things, and while things had changed, he'd meant the words when he'd said them all those years ago. It really was unforgivable.
Remus was finally calming down. The guilt of breaking his promise and upsetting his friend still gnawed at him, but it was no longer overwhelming. He began picking up the binder and notes and began to organize them to take back to his room. A moment later, a loud slam echoed from the kitchen, causing both the papers and his stomach to drop.
Janus's voice sounded more snake-like than he'd heard it in a long time. "You're always truthful, aren't you Virgil? Always noble, always trying to prove yourself, and yet, you let those who have stood by you the longest slip to the wayside!" Janus almost screamed his next words, causing Remus to flinch. "We thought we could trust you now, but how are we supposed to trust you when you keep secrets from us? Why didn't you just tell us about the damn sleep-walking!?"
There was a long moment of silence, but finally it was broken by Virgil, who seemed to be teetering on a knife's edge between professionalism, anger, and panic. "I wanted to make sure I had all the information I could and had worked out ways to help you before I told either of you about this. It was not my intention to betray your trust, I simply wanted to-"
Footsteps sounded in the corridor, and as soon as they stopped, Remus dared to step out of the room and make his way to the top of the stairs. He watched as Virgil's defense stopped abruptly, and Roman joined the fray. "Back off, you two faced snake! He's only trying to help!"
Remus felt anger toward his brother for speaking that way to Janus, but he also had a sickening feeling in his stomach. He knew how volatile Janus was in his current state, and something told him that things were about to get a lot worse. For once, he hated being right, as he saw the glimmer of animosity in Janus's gaze before taking on Roman's form. Using his voice, he repeated something his brother had said a few years back. "'After all, we got along just fine without him in the first two Sanders Sides videos.'"
He still thought what Roman had said was particularly harsh, especially to someone who was struggling as much as Virgil had been at the time. Thankfully he'd never seemed particularly bothered by the statement. Or, that's what Remus had thought. Looking at Virgil now, the Duke could see the pain in his eyes, and that combined with the stiffness of his posture spoke volumes about the anger and betrayal he felt. Remus took in a shuddering breath as realization washed over him; it wasn't that Virgil hadn't cared. He hadn't known.
Virgil said something to Roman that he couldn't make out before turning back to Janus, his voice surprisingly calm all things considered. "I just wanted to help. How did you even find out about this?"
"Remus came to me. Frightened." There was a note of hesitation to Janus's voice, but Remus froze at what was said next. "He told me that I have been sleep-walking, and I want to know why no one else bothered to tell me that?"
Remus took a pace back, feelings of enmity and treachery clawing at his heart. He had asked Janus to avoid saying anything to Virgil specifically. He felt like it hadn't been a difficult request for him to follow up on. Then again, Virgil had asked the same of him and he'd failed too.
Thoughts raced through his mind faster than he could decipher them, but all of them were laced with feelings of anger, betrayal, and uselessness. The only thing he could bring himself to do was to hide his presence and wait for the worst of the situation to pass before he dared to get involved.
Few knew that with his powers, he could go unseen when he wanted to. It wasn't quite invisibility, moreso the ability to have people look the other way when he wanted to slip by unnoticed. Using that power to his advantage, he walked right past the others, and they were none the wiser. As soon as he'd entered the inky darkness of the deeper mind-palace, he broke into a run, heading for the only place he knew he would feel safe. The dark-sides common-room.
As he approached, he might have seen small wisps of shadows in the corners of his gaze. He put it off as nothing more than the darkness and his tears playing tricks on him. Curling up on the couch in the shadowed commons, Remus, for the first time since finding out about the sleep-walking, felt safe. He knew he was safe. He knew he was safe...right?
Janus darted into his room, taking off his gloves as he did so. Placing them on the desk, he went to check the binder Remus had left and the notes scattered around it. Worry continued to swell in Janus's chest as he glanced over them briefly, but they and the room held no answer as to where Remus had gone. Heading back out into the hall, Janus swiftly made his way over to Remus's door. Knocking upon it, he waited with bated breath to see if it would be opened to him. To his dismay however, the silent seconds ticked by with no indication that the threshold would open or that his friend was even inside. Thinking over the possibilities, Janus realized that there was only one other place Remus would go to feel comfortable and safe. The dark-side common-room.
Unwilling to stand by and do nothing, Janus ran back down the stairs, ignoring Roman in the commons and the others in the halls as he passed them. Running into the shadowed corridors, he thought of all the times he had seen Remus curled up on the sofa in the dark-side commons when he was upset. It would make sense that he would want to return to that place of safety. The problem was, it wasn't safe anymore.
The last few times Janus had returned to his old home, he'd noticed that the nightmares had begun to take on more territory, territory that encroached on the now abandoned commons. Seeing as those horrifying bastards were drawn to fear, he could only imagine that Remus was lighting up like a beacon to them. He'd been worried when he approached Janus, and with the sleep-walking and everything else that was going on currently, there was little chance of him calming down.
"How could you become a light-side?"
"P-Please...Leave me alone."
"Leave you alone...? Like Virgil or your dear brother?"
"P-Please..."
"Speaking of your brother, that's all you'll ever be known as. The creative half that no one wants."
"B-But I-"
"You'll never live up to him!"
"I-I-"
"You're not even creativity! You're just intrusive thoughts, and that's all you'll ever be!"
As the last half of the line was shouted, Remus jumped back, trying to hit whoever was before him, but his hand passed through the air harmlessly. Confusion draped over him. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep on the sofa, now he stood in the middle of the dark-sides commons.
His hands shook as he realized what he'd seen and heard was a dream, one which had caused him to sleep-walk.
"Though dark dreams we may be... we only speak the truth."
Remus whipped around, fear freezing him to the spot as he saw the wispy black forms before him, nightmares. His gaze turned to another as it spoke with a chilling mirth, "we don't tell lies...unlike your friend." The nightmare took on Remus's form, speaking in his voice, "just make sure Virgil isn't around..." Now it shifted into Janus, "You have my word..."
The nightmares laughed in eerie unison, another stepping forward. "Seems like the list of those you can trust is shortening." This nightmare now took on Virgil's form. "I know you can do your own research, but that means nothing..."
As it trailed off, two more shifted to mimic Patton and Logan, their words running over each other.
"What benefits could intrusive thoughts ever serve? Logically, we would be better off without someone like you."
"Why do you stick around, Remus? You're only a bad influence on Thomas. We don't need you. Don't want you. Don't love you."
Finally, a nightmare dared to drift even closer. Its surface flickered and shimmered, transmogrifying into an all too familiar Prince. Roman now spoke with a deep cruelty, "Admit it, brother. Since the split, you've dwelled in my shadow. You've taken second place. Those who claimed to care about you left you. Lied to you." His brother moved until they stood nose to nose. "And after all, why shouldn't they? You're just a sorry excuse of a side, the half of a split that no one wanted. Intrusive thoughts." Now, Roman's voice was cold as he all but stared into Remus's soul. "No matter what you do, no matter what you try, no matter what you say... You will always be inferior to me."
Remus hadn't even realized he'd begun to back away until he felt his back touch the wall. "G-get out of my head!" He pleaded, but the whispers continued. "L-leave me alone!"
"Like I did?" He didn't need to look up to know it was Virgil's apparition that spoke.
Remus sank to the ground, squeezing his eyes shut and using his hands to cover his ears, but it did little to stop the words. "Roman, thank god you don't have..."