Yoongi stands up from his bed and pulls his jacket over his shoulders, letting the cool fabric slide over them before straightening the cuffs, his eyes lost is a train of thought.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Yoongi blinks and shakes his head, nodding to Hoseok's question, "Yeah."
Hoseok jumps off the bed and faces Yoongi in the dressing table mirror, "You seriously don't wanna talk about it?"
"About what?"
"The fact that I heard you calling out Taehyung's name in your sleep?" Hoseok asks, concern lacing his voice.
Yoongi sighs and zips up his jacket, "I don't control my dreams, Hobi."
"Your feelings do."
"I'm okay."
"You know, Namjoon's worried about you too," Hoseok says. "Hyunjin as well. Hell, Soobin confronted me about it a while ago."
Yoongi grabs his yellow pony from the dressing and fists his shoulder length hair up into a bun, tying the band around them.
"Ever since you came back from Jewels, you've been detached," Hoseok continues. "All you think about is your job and you never give yourself a break. You get angry without a reason and you're focusing too much on the same thing. How dare you get mad at Namjoon for slipping up a couple of days ago when he's literally handling half the duties you're too depressed to?"
Yoongi inhales deeply and snaps the band on his head.
"How many times have you asked me to just fuck you and forget about everything else?" Hoseok walks around the bed and approaches him. "Sex isn't your coping mechanism, I know that. You're trying to purposefully change yourself and forget who you are."
Yoongi unties his hair and picks up the hairbrush, eyes focused on the dressing table ahead of him as he brings the brush up to his hair.
"You want to go attack Rings and get rid of them when you can't even maintain a healthy sleep schedule!" Hoseok stands next to him, slightly towering over his smaller frame. "You ignored your duties and now we might have a bigger problem with Vante! You think he's not going to team up with Rings if Jungkook persuades him?"
Yoongi absentmindedly runs the hairbrush through his hair, trying his best not to focus on what Hoseok is saying.
"I'm worried, okay Yoongi?' Hoseok's voice comes out strained as he places a hand over his chest. "I'm worried that the family's safety isn't your top priority anymore. I'm worr—"
Yoongi grabs Hoseok's collar and pins him against the dressing table, "Do not question my intentions for my family."
Hoseok inhales deeply and does nothing to remove Yoongi's hands from his collar, staring deeply into his leader's conflicted eyes.
"I am doing what is right for them," Yoongi grits his teeth. "Whether you see it or not."
"Then why don't you fucking show me?"
Yoongi purses his lips and licks them, his hold on Hoseok loosening. "How would a knight understand the plight of a king?"
"If the plight turns out to be too much for the king to handle, the knight directly suffers," Hoseok advances forward a bit. "So, excuse me if I'm worrying about my own ass here."
"Fuck you, Hoseok."
"That's not what you said an hour ago."
Yoongi flares his nostrils and stomps away from Hoseok, stepping towards the door and opening it, "Leave."
Hoseok scoffs and straightens his collar, pridefully walking out.
Yoongi closes the door behind him and sighs in the dimly lit room, turning around and walking to his bed, laying flat on his back.
Hoseok is right.
Yoongi's negligence is costing his family more than what they bargained for when they put their trust in him and followed him blindly to whatever hell he led them into, knowing that their leader would not let them live a worthless life.
They knew that no matter what happened, whether they lived or died, their leader would not let them be forgotten. He would celebrate each and every single one of them. They did not hesitate before walking the path he drew for them, even if it were over a glass bridge.
Because he never let them down.
But maybe Hoseok is right.
Maybe Yoongi is changing for the worse. Maybe he has forgotten about one family in his desperate search for another.
Jungkook and Taehyung were the closest things Yoongi ever found to proper love before his mafia family.
Jungkook taught him about loyalty and valour, whereas Taehyung taught him about strength and honour. Both of them played their roles in making Yoongi the man who found his path into the Asian underworld.
Taehyung's sweet smile and Jungkook's big eyes would always make Yoongi's day no matter what. His Bear and Bambi, he called them.
Yoongi closes his eyes as a wetness makes itself known, pinching his eyelids together as Taehyung's voice rings in his mind, as fresh as ever.
"You're like a little kitten, you know?" Taehyung says as he keeps his focus on the paper he's trying to origami into a swan.
"How so?" Yoongi snorts as he makes random shapes by folding his paper in a hundred different directions.
"Well, you love sleeping, you look like a cat, you say you don't like cuddling but I've seen how tightly you cling to Jungkook," Taehyung examines his half-done swan by turning it around in his hands. "You hate water. You hate the sun."
"Are you sure that's a feline trait?"
"Are you saying Jungkook's right about you being a vampire, instead?"
"Jungkook says what now?"
Yoongi smiles to himself as he thinks back to a time where his greatest worry was not getting caught for two murders him and Jungkook committed together. When they feared Taehyung finding out about their heinous acts more than they feared the police or God Himself.
Of course, they had no idea Taehyung was committing murders behind their backs as well.
What a great group of friends they were.
Maybe romance destroyed their connection.
Yoongi misses them. More than he likes to admit.
He tried to go meet Taehyung last year but that backfired when they got into an argument six months ago.
Yoongi misses his lovers jumping into his car and demanding he take them out.
He misses Jungkook terming every kiss as pedophelia, not that Yoongi ever tried to go farther than making out with him. He misses hug-deprived Jungkook jumping on him without hesitation once they got comfortable with each other.
He misses Jungkook's smile, shining like the brightest group of stars in the night sky.
He turns on his side, letting a single tear slip out his right eye.
Taehyung was no less. Whenever he was upset, he'd steal one of Yoongi's school notebooks and doodle an elephant's face over what he deemed were important topics. He would scream and fight whenever they had a videogame date. He always sought comfort in Yoongi before Jungkook came along.
Taehyung, whose smile glowed like a cottage in a damp forest, who didn't think twice before telling Yoongi he loved him, had now sent a search party out to capture him on sight.
And maybe Hoseok is right.
Maybe Yoongi is ruining everybody's life.
————
A/N:
Hey Orchids!
So, one of my favorites is out!
I'm so happy to see you guys are enjoying this! Your comments literally make my day everytime I read them!
Thank you for reading, silent or not!
I purple you! 💜💜💜