Waking up to silence and realising that I had for once, actually had a good night’s sleep, “Awake, then?” A smooth voice chimed from beside me as hands slid over my hips,
Harry pulled my into him and nuzzled my neck, affectionately, I leant on his curls, “You smell nice,” He whispered into my skin,
“I know,” I replied with a grin,
Suddenly, his head popped up and his green eyes squinted at me suspiciously, “Did you use my bubble bath? My strawberry one?”
Smiling, I shrugged innocently, “Perhaps,”
Harry growled playfully, “I can smell it on you,” He sniffed my neck,
“You don’t mind, do you?” I asked with a small pout and flutter of my lashes,
Grinning, Harry kissed me softly, “Of course not,”
“Good,” I pecked him back, “Because it reminds me of you,” I whispered, Harry smiled and kissed me again, harder this time,
Pulling away, I grinned, “What are you doing?” Harry asked as I swung my legs out of the bed,
“I’m going to have a shower,”
“It seems like you spend most of your time in that bathroom,”
I sighed and collected a few items of clothing, “That’s because most people tell me to,” Harry winked at me, I rolled my eyes and vanished into the bathroom,
Closing the door behind me, I pulled off my oversized t-shirt and turned to water on, then, I climbed in and let it roll over my aching body,
Starting to softly sing, well, humming mostly, to the song Harry kept singing ‘Kiss you’. All of a sudden, I opened my eyes to find Harry’s grinning face opposite mine,
“What are you doing in here?” I tried to sound stern and frustrated but couldn’t help my smile shine through,
Harr’s grin widened, “Obeying your command,”
“What command?”
“To kiss you,” And so, he did,
Fifteen minutes later and I climbed out of the shower, Harry followed after me, I threw him a towel after wrapping myself in one,
I glanced quickly in the mirror and squealed, “What?” Harry asked looking down at me with slight concern in his eyes,
Whirling around, I scowled, “You gave me a hickey?” I cried, “A hickey!”
Harry grinned and traced the red mark that scarred my neck with his finger, “You weren’t complaining before,”
“Ugh,” I snorted, laughing Harry walked out the bathroom wrapping his bottom half in a towel,
“I’m going to get dressed,” Quickly, he scurried back, I was still inspecting the mark in the mirror when I saw his face appear in the doorway, “By the way,” He smiled, “You and I are going out later,”
Before I got a chance to ask anything at all, he vanished, I sighed heavily and prodded my neck one more time before throwing some clothes on,
Then, one I was satisfied in my denim jeans and tucked in light blue ‘denim’ style top, I perched by the dresser and attempted to cover the mark with makeup,
Fortunately, it worked fairly well and if I positioned my hair in the right way, you could hardly see it at all,
So, I skipped happily down the stairs and into the kitchen, “Hey,” Niall grinned at me, “You look happy,”
“I am,” I replied, he gave me a quick hug,
“Good,” He said,
“Breakfast?” Liam asked from the other side of the table,
“Yes,” I breathed, as I started to move over toward him,
“Wait,” Liam commanded, I stopped mid-step, “I’ll make it,” He smiled, “I don’t want you having another tantrum like yesterday,”
I sat down next to Niall, “I don’t think that’s going to happen,” I explained with a friendly smile,
“Good,” Liam replied happily, “Toast?”
“Please,” Nodding, Liam started to prepare my breakfast,
At that moment, Harry came bounding down the stairs with a grin as huge as mine on his face, Zayn looked at him, “Woah!” He exclaimed, “Someone got some last night,” He winked at me, then Harry,
Coiling his arms around my shoulders, Harry planted a kiss on my cheek before ruffling my hair, in a moment of blind panic, I moved my head away and rearranged my hair,
Harry wasn’t hurt by this act though, he was too busy by rifling through the cupboards for something to eat,
“So are you two…?” Louis looked between the two of us, “Together?” Harry turned to me, I turned to Harry. We both pulled our lips into a grin, Louis didn’t wait for an answer, “Yay!” He exclaimed before pulling me into a choking hug,
“Louis,” I coughed,
“Sorry,” He said with a smile before pulling his arms away from me,
I smiled, “Don’t worry,” I breathed, Liam handed me breakfast, I thanked him and ate it hungrily,
After breakfast, Harry grabbed my hand and kissed it, “Come on,” He breathed, I turned to him confused, “We’re all going out today,” He told me with a grin,
Biting my lip, I looked uneasily at the ground, “Um…”
“Bobbie,” Harry tilted my head up, “It’ll be fine, I’ll be there. So will everyone else,”
I nodded, “And all your fans who hate me…” I sighed heavily, “Look Harry, I’m just not sure I’m…ready...to go out…without them…”
Harry smiled sympathetically before pushing me toward the door, “Well tough, it’s not never, it’s now,”
“I prefer never,” I muttered,
“Well tough,” Harry whispered in my ear before helping me put on my coat, he bent down to get my shoes, but I told him I could at least do that myself, Harry laughed and the two of us soon enough were joined the others who gathered outside,
“Hey Bobbie,” I was very quickly drowned in loving hugs by the girls who I hadn’t seen at all since…that day…
“Hi,” I breathed with genuine happiness, “My god El,” I grinned at her as I placed one hand on her stomach, a smile broke out on her face,
“I know,” She stroked her huge stomach with pride,
“Where are we going?” Danielle asked excitedly,
Niall shrugged, “I have no idea, for a stroll,” Danielle’s face broke into a frown,
“Come on then,” Liam said,
“Hang on,” I said quickly, they all turned to me, Harry stroked my arm,
“Are you alright?” He asked seeming suddenly panicked,
“Yeah,” I nodded, “I just don’t want to raise suspicion,” The others looked confused, “Liam, you and I are supposed to be in relationship and if there’s any chance…” I gulped, “I don’t want to make it too obvious that I lied to the court…”
Danielle, Liam and Harry nodded, “Alright, and no one say anything to the paps, right?”
“Right,” They all nodded, “Can we confuse them?” Louis suddenly asked excitedly, “Like muck around with everyone, it’ll be great,” He clapped, Eleanor laughed at him,
Everyone turned to me, I grinned and shrugged, “I guess so, why not?”
“Woop!” Niall yelled and pumped his fist, Perrie clipped him over the head playfully before squealing as Zayn tickled her sides, we all set off down the street,
Following, we did as we were supposed to, joked around. No one was specifically with anyone, except of course Louis, Eleanor, Zayn and Perrie who were the obvious couples in the group, god the paps would be confused. Honestly, that made me smile,
We walked around the city, laughing and joking around gathering fans as we went by and were having a great time. It was strangely warm outside, so Liam suggested that we grabbed a coffee, and settled in the park,
Agreeing, we walked back through the streets to the local coffee shop. I stopped at the door with Eleanor, she pulled me to a halt not wanting to squeeze by all the people to get into the queue, so I agreed to not leave her,
I opened my mouth, Harry winked at me, “I know your coffee order,” He grinned, “Remember.” Briefly, he touched my hand before joining the other’s in line,
Eleanor turned to me grinning, “So you and Harry huh?”
“Yeah,” I returned her smile aware of people taking pictures of us, but I copied Eleanor, acted natural and pretended that it didn’t bother me at all,
Caringly, she stroked my arm, “I’m really happy for you,”
“Thanks,” I replied,
“But how are you?”
I knew what she was implying, “Better,” I breathed,
She smiled at me again and rubbed her stomach with one hand, I looked down at it, “Sorry,” She apologised, “It’s a habit,”
“Don’t worry about it,” I waved my arm, “I did that all the time,” Eleanor rubbed her stomach again, “So are you ready?” I asked, Eleanor’s head snapped up, “To be a mum? It can’t be that long can it?”
“No,” Eleanor sighed with a nod, “I think I’m ready, the parenting classes really helped. I’m just a little worried about Louis, I mean…” She lowered her voice into a whisper, “He’s not exactly the most mature of men is he?”
I laughed, “I guess not,” Eleanor frowned, “Hey, don’t worry. Trust me, he’ll step up, they all usually do. And you saw how great he was with the…” I trailed off,
“I suppose you’re right, and if not. I’ll kick him into shape,” She grinned at me. Then the wind blew my hair over my face, I heard flashes and frantically smoothed down my hair, Eleanor gasped, “Is that a hickey!” She exclaimed,
“Shush!” I whispered frantically,
Eleanor leaned in however for a closer look, “It is!” She squealed softly, “Was it…” She whispered, “Harry?” I didn’t say anything, but I blushed a deep shade of crimson because Eleanor clapped her hands,
“Stop!” I whispered whilst laughing, “They’re all watching,”
“I know,” She laughed, “But I still can’t believe this, it’s just too funny!” I scowled sarcastically at her, “But cute!” Eleanor saved herself, “Very cute,”
Rolling my eyes, we burst into giggles just as the others came out the door, “What’s going on?” Louis asked suspiciously as he handed Eleanor her drink and wrapped an arm around her expanding waist,
“Nothing,” I shot Eleanor a kind but warning look,
“Harry gave Bobbie a hickey!” She exclaimed,
I groaned, the others all turned to me, “Where?” Danielle asked with slight doubt on her face,
“Eew!” Niall covered his face with disgust,
Harry handed me a coffee and brushed a finger over my neck exposing the red mark, “There it is,” He explained proudly,
“Harry,” I hissed before swishing my hair so that it fell over the mark,
“Good job,” Zayn gave him a slap on the back, Perrie hit his arm, as did I,
Realising that it wasn’t that much of a big deal, we began our walk to the park, slowly of course so that Eleanor could keep up,
Sitting down on the grass, Eleanor was the last and let out a sigh, she bent her knees trying to figure out a way to sit down without straining herself,
I watched as Louis grinned and got up, he kissed her lips before picking her up in his arms as if she weighed nothing and sat down with her on his lap,
“Aww,” Danielle said whilst leaning on Liam’s shoulder, although then, she seemed to remember what we’d discussed earlier and picked herself up mouthing ‘sorry’ to me,
I shook my head telling her it didn’t matter, Danielle smiled and drank her coffee quickly gulping down as if she were addicted,
Sighing and watching my friends laugh and joke around, kiss and hug, I smiled…But soon enough, my eyes left them and I found myself watching other people.
Not the paparazzi, not screaming fans, although there were some of them who watched in awe. No, I was staring at a couple sitting on a bench,
There was a man, wearing a suit with a smile on his face, and a woman next to him wearing a thick jacket resting her head on his shoulders. In front of them, a dark blue stroller parked still on the pavement. And in her arms, lay a pink chubby, sleeping baby…
Subconsciously, I was smiling. But then, that smile vanished. As I saw the mother kiss her baby on the head and the man smile down at them both affection.
Sitting on the grass, I gripped my hands and pulled up grass inside my palms. I hadn’t realised how I hadn’t even thought about them for…for…
Oh god, I was a horrible mother. I hadn’t realised I missed them so much until I thought about them. My heart ached so badly…
Would this ever go away? Would I ever move on? Actually, did I want to move on? I can’t forget them, and I don’t think that I want to…
Harry placed a hand over my own, I looked at him as our skin connected. His smiling eyes suddenly turned to worry as he saw me, “What’s wrong?” He asked, “Bobbie?”
I shook my head and let out a small sob, the others weren’t looking. Harrys’ eyes left mine suddenly as he watched where my line of sight appeared to travel to, “Oh, Bobbie,” He sighed,
“Sorry,” I muttered jumping to my feet Harry moved his hand to try and grab my arm, “I’ll see you back at home…” I trailed off before turning and practically running back to the house,
Sprinting back inside, I shut the door behind me my eyes filling up with hot salty tears…Shakily, I managed to move my legs upstairs and to the girls’ room. I stepped inside…
“Oh,” I breathed in the smell of baby powder and stroked the corners of their cots, “I’ve got to get out of here,” I sighed before leaving the room and hurrying into my own,
Quickly, I dived into the back of the wardrobe and retrieved my overnight bag, then, I heard the front door slam,
“Bobbie!” Harry’s voice called up the stairs,
“Shit,” I muttered quietly, I didn’t want to talk to him,
But it was too late, he came charging up the stairs and bursting into my bedroom, “What are you doing?” He breathed, Harry’s hair clung to his pink sweaty face, he placed his hands on his knees to try and catch his breath,
“I…Harry I’m…” His green eyes stared into me, “Harry I’m leaving,” I told him so quickly that I was sure he almost didn’t understand. But after a slight delay his eyes went wide as he realised what I had told him,
“You…You can’t…Leave…” He stuttered looking upset,
“Harry I’m sorry,” I whined while tears fell down my cheeks yet again,
Harry almost jumped on me holding me in a hug, “I don’t want you to leave…” He whispered in my ear,
“I know,” I sobbed, “But I can’t stay here…The memories…The girls…”
Harry pulled me away and placed his two hands on my shoulders, “Will you…Will you be coming back…?”
I sighed and rubbed my head, “I…”
“Because I’ll be here. And I won’t give up until you come back,”
“I will…” I smiled, “I’ll come back, if you want me to,”
“Of course I do,” Harry told me like I was stupid for thinking otherwise, I nodded but still couldn’t face him, “Where will you go?” He asked quietly,
I bit my lip, “I have a few friends that still do like me for who I am,” I lied, “Other than you guys of course,” I whispered,
Harry nodded silently, “I’ll take you there,”
“No,” I replied softly, “I can…I can do it myself…”
I felt bad as Harry’s dulling eyes looked hurt, “Right…” He clicked his tongue,
“I should go…” I breathed,
Harry gripped my wrist, “Are you sure… Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay?” He looked like he was almost prepared to beg me to stay,
“I need to go, just for a while…See if I can make things better,”
“Then I’ll come with you,” Harry seemed to grow taller,
But when I shook my head again, he shrunk back down again, “Why?” He asked miserably, “You don’t want me to?”
“Oh Harry no,” I kissed him, “No, it’s not that…I just need a little time alone but know that I…That I love you more than anything…”
Both Harry and I cried as he held me in his arms, “I understand,” He breathed, Harry pulled away and pressed my forehead against his, I watched as sensitive tears rolled down his cheeks slowly, painfully…
“Just promise me one thing,” Harry sniffed squeezing his eyes shut so that another tear slipped from the bottom of his eye,
“Anything,” I whispered feeling like I was looking straight into his soul,
“Don’t forget me,” He sobbed,
I cupped his face in my hands, “I will never forget you,”
“And you promise you’ll be back soon,”
Nodding, I replied, “Yes,” I threw my arms around him, “Of course I’ll be back, soon,”
“Good,” He murmured. We just stood there holding each other…Until, I had to pull away, otherwise, I feared I never could,
“I’m going to go now,” I whispered,
Harry nodded, “Ok,” He sighed lightly, “I’ll phone you a cab,”
“Thank you,” I placed one hand on his shoulder and slid it down his arm as I moved toward the door, I wandered downstairs and found it empty.
So, in silence, I sat on the bottom step and waited…
Hearing the cab honk the horn outside, I stood on my feet and placed a hand on the handle of the door, “Wait,” Harry trampled down the stairs,
He held out his hand and gave me a piece of clothing. His purple Jack Wills hoodie. He waved it again, I accepted it reluctantly,
“Something to remember me by,” He breathed,
“I don’t need….” Harry’s eyes pleaded with me, “Ok, thank you,” I breathed. Harry kissed me again, and hugged me, and kissed me…
“I have to go,” I told him, “I’m sorry,”
Opening the door, I saw the cab outside, this was it. I was leaving.
“I love you,” He whispered,
I turned back, “I love you too,”
With that, I stared out onto the street knowing that if I turned back, I wouldn’t be able to leave him. But I had to, otherwise I’d just be clinging onto the past. And never be able to look forward the way I needed to.