"May cake ka pala. Talo pala itong cute kong cupcake."
Napakamot si Marco sa ulo niya nang nakita sa kitchen island ang chocolate cake ko. Kukuhanin ko sana sa kamay niya ang cupcake nang nilayo niya iyon, nahihiya.
"Hey, that's mine!" Sumimangot ako.
"Huwag na. Mas masarap iyang cake mo." Nginuso pa niya iyon bago tinago ang cupcake sa likod niya, tapping his foot on the floor.
"Are you sure that it's yummy?"
"Hindi 'ko sure?" he said jokingly.
"I still want that cupcake, though." Kumuha ako ng kutsilyo at platito. Nilapag ko iyon sa counter bago binuksan ang ref para ihanda ang pitcher of water.
Natawa si Marco. "Dadaan sana ako sa bakery kasi plano ko ngang mag-surprise after ng exam pero biglang may pinaasikaso si Mama. Hindi ko naman matanggihan kaya pagkarating ko sa bakery, sarado na." There he goes! Mahilig talaga siyang mag-explain!
"The cupcake was already too much, Maki," I told him. Maliit lang kaya ang kasiyahan ko!
"Too much? Baliw ka ba, babe?" He looked at me ridiculously. "Nabibili lang naman 'to diyan sa tabi."
"It's the thought that counts."
"Ah, akala ko pera ang binibilang," he joked.
Napasapo ako sa noo ko, nahihiya para sa kaniya. Kung hindi pambabara, tito jokes niya naman!
"Ay, hindi ba benta, birthday girl?" Humawak siya sa dibdib niya, umaaktong malungkot. "Okay lang. At least ikaw, benta kay Mama."
My brows furrowed, not getting the reference. He noticed the confusion laced on my face kaya hinilamos niya ang isang kamay sa mukha ko.
"Beh, ang alat ng kamay mo!" Peke akong dumura-dura sa ere pero natawa rin kalaunan habang pinagdedesisyonan kung paano i-slice ang cake.
Marco had a ghost of smile on his lips as he watched me laugh. Yumuko siya saglit bago nag-angat ng tingin sa akin.
"Paano ko ba 'to puputulin?" I asked him.
"Gamitin mo iyong kutsilyo na hawak mo, Ica. Alangan naman ulo mo, eh, 'di nasira iyong cake. Pwede pa naman iyon kainin. Sagipin nga lang natin bago mag three seconds para masalba sa germs."
I portrayed a bored express. Deep inside, I wanted to laugh. Siya na ang tumawa sa sarili niyang sinabi bago seryosong sumagot.
"Just cut it into four slices, Ica." Pinakita pa niya sa kamay niya kung paano puputulin.
"Hindi naman kasi ako nagpuputol ng cake. Most of the time, kinakain ko lang diretso sa box dahil wala naman akong ka-share so walang mag-iinarte," pagkwento ko. "Mas masaya rin, promise!"
I transferred two slices of cake on the platitos before putting the cake back on the ref. Dinala ni Maki sa sala ang mga platito at pitcher. Ako na ang nagdala ng mga baso at tinidor.
"Timing na linggo birthday mo, ah. Ano plano mo?" Maki leaned his back on the sofa, unbuttoning his polo with one hand while waiting for my reply.
I shrugged before sitting beside him on the carpet. "Wala. Maghahanda lang ng sautéed pilchard." I did a chef kiss gesture.
"Masarap iyan? Ano ba iyan?" Kita ko ang kalituhan sa mukha niya habang kumukuha ng unan.
"Ginisang sardinas!" Tumakbo kaagad ako bago pa siya manghampas ng unan. I just know he'd do that!
"Ambot nimo, Ica, oy!" Tinapon niya ang unan sa akin, tumatawa nang malakas. Nakailag ako.
"Ambot!" panggagaya ko sa sinabi niya kahit na hindi ko alam meaning noon. Baka mamaya minumura na pala ako nito!
"Balik ka na rito." Tinapik niya ang carpet. Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata, nagdududa. "Hindi ako manghahampas ng unan. Balik na." He tapped the carpet again.
Pinulot ko muna ang unan na tinapon niya sa akin bago pumunta sa tabi niya. Agad akong kumain ng cake habang hinihintay ang sasabihin niya. Feel ko kasi mayroon!
"Seryoso nga. Ano'ng plano mo? Are you going to go out with your friends?" He sounded so interested with my plan.
"No. I just usually spend my birthday like a normal day. Tinatamad din akong makipag-socialize. Mas gusto kong chill lang. Mag-isa, ganoon." Iyon ang sinabi ko.
"May plano ka na ngayon." Tinanggal niya ang polo niya, leaving him in his white inner shirt. It was fitted on him so it hugged his muscles perfectly.
"Huh? Ano'ng may plano na? Kakasabi ko lang na wala akong plano. Maglinis ka nga ng tenga, Maki!"
He chuckled. "Date kita."
Bigla akong napangiti sa sinabi niya. I didn't even try to hide the happiness growing inside me with his simple invitation. But my smile slowly faded when I remembered something.
"We can't be seen together. Baka ma-issue tapos siraan ka pa," I told him, feeling a little defeated. I wanted to protect him. The media's wild.
Tumango siya. "Dito na lang. Ipagluluto kita!" Mabilis siyang nakaisip ng bagong plano.
"Aren't you going to study?" Unlike me who most of the time treats Sunday's as rest day or light study day, Marco still has all his books scattered on the table and has his eyes darted on it all day. Hindi talaga siya nagpapahinga.
"I can do that after. Let's spend your birthday together."
Marahan akong tumawa at hinawi ang buhok ko bago sumubo ng cake, nararamdaman ang pamumula ng pisngi ko. I turned the TV on para naman may ingay sa paligid namin.
"We can go out naman. Just commercial areas maybe? Para less people," I suggested dahil kung magluluto siya bukas, mapapagod pa 'to. Piniguradong ayaw niyang magpatulong, kahit sa paghuhugas. Cooking is a basic thing, I know, but he deserves some break from his daily routine too.
"Sure ka diyan? Baka masira pa career mo dahil lang nakita kang kasama ako." He scrunched his nose jokingly, his eyes focused on the TV.
Tumango ako. "I guess, basta sa commercial area para walang kumuha ng pictures. And if ever ma-flop man, I'll just say you're gay," ganting biro ko at sumubo ng cake para itago ang ngisi.
Marco scoffed in disbelief, placing his fork down on the plate and looking at me. "Mukhang 'to?" Tinuro niya ang sarili niya na para bang na-offend siya sa suggestion ko.
"It's possible kaya!"
"Possible possible ka diyan. Halikan kita, eh, para makita mong hindi possible," may sama ng loob na sabi niya.
Hinampas ko ang braso niya. Napamura siya sa lakas noon sabay bigay sa akin ng masamang tingin. It just made me laugh more. Ang cute ng reaction niya!
"You can just say non-showbiz boyfriend." He raised his index finger as if he was telling a fact. "That's better, actually."
Namilog ang mga mata ko sa term niya. "Kabahan ka naman sa boyfriend!"
"Alangan naman non-showbiz fling. Reputasyon natin dalawa masisira." Suplado siyang umirap. "Hindi ka rin lugi. Gwapo naman ako, ah." Nagbuhat pa nga ng sariling bangko!
"I'm not allowed to date," I told him the truth before getting my plate and transferring up to the sofa. Nanatili lang siya sa carpet, kuryosong nakatingin sa akin. "It's in my contract," I explained.
"Pero may mga ex ka." Lalo naging curious ang hitsura niya.
Tinawanan ko siyaa bago nag-explain na puro sekreto lang iyon. He had lots of follow up questions, as if he was asking things to a certain job he applied to. He's one curious human being.
I woke up with Marco beside me, lying so straight with an arm on his eyes. Ganiyan talaga siya matulog. First time we slept on the same bed without anything happening between us. It felt... nice.
"What's satan staring at early in the morning?" Maki lazily turned to me. Gising pala siya.
"Good morning!" pagbabaliwala ko sa pambabara niya. "Hindi kita papatulan dahil maaga pa at since birthday ko, sana naman maging mabait ka sa akin kahit today lang! Okay? Okay!"
Tumayo ako sa higaan, stretching my arms up in the air with my eyes closed. My shirt lifted a little. I was wearing a cycling shorts so I didn't get conscious. Minasahe ko pa ang likod ng leeg ko saglit bago nagmulat ng mga mata.
Marco was watching me, both his hands behind his head and his one leg prompt up. He had a black shirt on and boxers. He could pass as a model of an underwear brand if he just removed his shirt.
The comforter was crumpled out near the edge of the bed. I was pretty sure ako ang sumipa noon dahil makulit akong matulog. Lumapit ako para tupiin na iyon.
"What do you want to eat?"
"Ako na magluluto." He sat down on the bed and hit his back using his fist, groaning a little. "Sobrang lambot ng kama mo. Ang sakit sa likod," reklamo niya.
"Huh? 'Di ba dapat mas comfy nga iyon? Pain-free?"
"Baliktad sa 'kin. I prefer firmer mattress since it helps the alignment of your bones, particularly your spine, to remain in the same alignment. Less pain too because you have stayed in a healthy position all night. If the mattress is too soft, there are tendency that you'll sleep in a complicated position. Too much flexibility. You might also twist some joints and it can be painful at night..."
Lord... Jojowain po!
"Ang dami ko namang sinabi. Nakakairita." Marco acted as if he zipped his mouth.
After breakfast, Marco excused himself to go back to his apartment to prepare for our lakad. I was still waiting for the heater in the bathroom to heat up so I decided to scroll on my cellphone, checking some greeting.
I replied with a short 'Thank you!' with emojis as a sign of gratitude. I added to my story pa iyong mga story ng mga closest friends ko lang. Kasi kung isasali ko lahat, baka bukas pa ako matapos sa sobrang daming greetings.
"Himala, ah," I whispered, taken aback.
From: Dad
Happy birthday, Lali. I miss you! Can I see you when you're free?
Well, that's one of my parents. I refreshed my phone, hoping for a message from Mom. Abang na abang ako kahit sa social media accounts ko dahil baka roon siya mag-message... pero wala.
Bakit pa nga ba ako umasa? Or maybe later, right? Mahaba pa ang araw. Baka tulog pa iyon.
Mapait akong ngumiti. Funny ka, Ica. Sino bang niloloko mo? Hindi ka noon babatiin. Kailan ka ba binati noon?
"Ano suot mo? Bagayan ko." Marco and I were on video call.
I was checking my hangers for my newly ironed clothes. Nanghihingi kasi ako ng opinion sa kaniya dahil nahihirapan akong pumili ng damit. Ayaw kong mag dress dahil parang masyadong formal.
"Babagayan mo? May pa ganoon, Marquenzo?" pang-aasar ko at kinuha ang isang hanger na may white slacks. Hinila ko rin ang isang beige with black halter top bago pinakita sa camera. "This?"
"Hindi yata iyan bagay sa 'kin." He chuckled. I can only see his forehead because half of the space on the camera, ceiling ang pinapakita niya.
"Of course, it's for me!"
"Ba't ako tinatanong mo?"
"Baka kasi i-judge mo ang susuotin ko! Like malaswa, manang or something!" pagrarason ko. "Wait a minute-"
"Kapeng mainit!" Ang bilis niyang nakasingit. Napairap ako. "She rolled her eyes at me without laughing. Damn, this woman has changed so fast. Porke't birthday, magsusungit na?" He gasped dramatically.
"Bahala ka na nga diyan! I'll try this on muna." I off the camera before removing my robe and trying the outfit on. Tama nga ako na medyo revealing ang top sa may dibdib. But the cross-style straps around my neck dragged the attention there instead of my chest.
"Bagay. Are you comfortable with that?" Marco asked when I showed him my clothes. The camera moved, showing a bit of his eyes.
Masaya akong tumango sa kaniya nang huminto ako sa pag-ikot. "Okay lang sa 'yo?" Wait... bakit ba ako nagpapaalam?! Ano naman kung ayaw niya?
I never really cared about people's thoughts on my outfit. I'll wear what I want to wear as long as babagay sa occasion. Alangan naman magma-mall ako tapos naka ballgown. Pinagmukha ko naman tanga ang sarili ko, 'di ba?
"Wear whatever you want to wear. I can fight," Marco said calmly. I was honestly expecting him to tease me about it.
"Sure na bagay, ah? Baka sinasabotage mo ako diyan! Basher pa naman kita!"
"Bagay nga, Ica. Pero parang mas bagay ka sa 'kin." Nakita ko ang ngisi niya sa screen.
"Baduy mo naman bumanat!" I cleared my throat and fanned myself, acting as if I felt hot. Natuluyan akong nainitan kaya nagbukas na ako ng AC dito sa kwarto.
"Wala naman kasi akong maisip na banat na babagay sa 'yo kung hindi ako."
Kinagat ko ang ibang labi bago tumawa. "Paraphrase iyan?"
"Uy, hindi! Iba kaya! Iyong una bagay ka sa 'kin, iyong pangalawa bagay ako sa 'yo. So ang point is bagay tayo," he smoothly said once again.
"Alam mo nahihilo na ako sa dami ng 'bagay' na sinabi mo! Magbihis ka na nga! Wait, help me pick a bag and heels first!" pag-iiba ko.
I immediately felt at awe when Marco really did match my outfit color. Nakasuot siya ng black pants, beige shirt, and denim jacket. His hair was waxed and there was a strand hanging on his forehead like the letter 'S'.
Since I just wanted my day to be like a normal day, sabi niya mag-cinema na lang kami. Sa Rockwell naman kami kaya nakahinga ako nang maluwag. There's less people there.
"What do you want to watch?" tanong ko kay Marco pagkarating sa cinehan.
"Ikaw bahala." Malayo ang tingin niya. Natawa ako dahil nakatitig na siya sa food counter, particularly staring at the popcorn. I think I can see hearts forming in his eyes already!
Tiningnan ko ang 'Showing' para makapagpili ng papanuorin. Napasinghap ako nang nakitang showing na pala ang isang movie na gusto ko!
"Pwede romance?"
"Basta walang bold. Hindi ko iyon trip." Tinabunan pa niya ang mata niya ng isang kamay.
"Basta okay ang romance, ah?" Hinatak ko siya para bumili na ng tickets.
"Oo naman. Kahit ano'ng gusto mo."
"Boyfriend n'yo po?" the guy cashier asked me, pointing at Marco who was busy drooling over the popcorn again.
"Oo, pero ako lang may alam," pabirong bulong ko. "Ay! Hindi! Wala!" pagbawi ko kaagad dahil baka kilala ako nito at ipagkalat pa! How can I be so careless?!
Natawa ang cashier kaya nakuha noon ang atensyon ni Marco. "Ganda ng girlfriend n'yo, Sir." Hindi ko alam ano'ng trip ng cashier na ito!
"Alam ko." Marco smirked lazily.
Maki paid for our tickets. Naunahan niya ako dahil hindi ko napansin na naglapag siya ng pera pagkalapit niya. Ngumiti siya bago humawak sa kamay ko at hinila ako para bumili ng popcorn and drinks.
Walang masyadong tao sa loob at nagsisimula na ang mga trailers ng ibang movie. We were five minutes early. Our seats were on the right aisle, center row.
Inangat ni Marco ang harang at nilapag doon ang popcorn. "Lagay mo na lang dito ang cup mo." Tinuro niya iyong cupholder sa tabi niya.
Hampas ako nang hampas kay Marco habang nanunuod dahil kinikilig ako sa lalakeng bida. Puro reklamo naman siya dahil hindi nasho-shoot sa bibig niya ang popcorn na kinakain.
"Ang pogi! Oh my god! Bakit hindi ganiyan kagwapo ang ka loveteam ko?" pabulong ang huling sinabi ko habang inaalog ang balikat niya.
"Alam mo, hindi ko na naiintindihan ang emote nila dahil puro sigaw mo ang naririnig ko." Nakasimangot siya pero halatang nagpipigil ng tawa.
I opened my mouth to speak but he fed me a handful of popcorn. I tried to speak but my words were not understandable.
"Ano iyon? May sinasabi ka?" He raised his brows.
"Pogi!" sabi ko nang natapos ngumuya. "And if you don't understand the drama, kwento ko. The woman moved into a different town after winning a country house in a raffle which she just joined since she was heartbroken. Then, the guy is her neighbor tapos ginugulo siya-"
"Relate?" Marco chuckled.
"Stupid!" I laughed, too. Sinubuan niya ako ng popcorn at tinuro na ang screen para bumalik ang atensyon ko roon.
In the middle of watching, Marco leaned his head on my shoulder. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at pinaglaruan ang mga daliri ko habang nanunuod siya.
Napakurap-kurap ako at napakagat sa ibabang labi ko. Oh my god! Instead of focusing on the movie, my focus was on our hands!
"Hindi ko alam kung nanginginig ka dahil sa lamig o dahil kinikilig ka sa akin," Marco said, looking up at me.
"Malamig," tipid kong sabi. I forced a laugh to not make it look like I was enjoying every minute of his touch on my hand.
Marco removed his jacket and showed it in front of me. He gestured me to wear it. Siniksik ko ang braso ko sa sleeves bago umayos ng upo. Ngumiti ako sa kaniya.
Akala ko hindi na siya babalik sa position niya kanina, pero bumalik siya sa pagsandal sa balikat ko! He also intertwined our hands again.
"Pahawak. Ako naman ang lalamigin," he said.
"Aminin mo na lang na gusto mong humawak sa napakalambot at beautiful kong hands." I laughed after my joke.
"That, too," he admitted.
Napapikit ako saglit, hindi nakasagot. Lilingunin na niya sana ako nang sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa taas ng ulo niya, binabaliwala ang karera sa puso ko.
"Picture tayo, Maki!" Hinatak ko siya nang nakakita ng magandang mirror sa medyo tahimik na parte ng mall.
"Sure. Ano bang pose?" Inayos niya ang jacket niya.
"Kahit ano. It doesn't matter naman. Gusto ko lang ng remembrance."
"Kahit ano?" paninigurado niya.
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Ano'ng pinaplano mo?"
His eyes widened before he bursted our laughing. "Don't worry. Decent 'to." Tumango pa siya para kumbinsihin ako.
Sumingkit ang mga mata ko sa kaniya. He shook his head and lifted my hand that was holding my phone.
Marco stood behind me. My grip on my phone tightened when he slid his hands around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder, smiling at the mirror.
"Go on," he whispered.
"Oh... Oh, yeah." I tilted my head a little and snapped multiple pictures of us in the mirror. We also did a wacky one, and the following ones are all nonsense poses. At least I got that one sweet photo of us.
"Sa akin naman." Bigla niyang binigay sa akin ang phone niya. "Zero nine one seven. Password ko."
Nagulat ako. "You know, I can just swipe it and the camera app will show, right?" I informed slowly, calming my heart down.
"Yeah, I know," he replied cooly.
Kahit na alam ko ang password niya, hindi ko pa rin binuksan iyon. Privacy. Bakit niya naman sinabi sa akin ang password niya? I did not know what I should exactly feel... but I know what I was feeling. Happy.
I held the camera on selfie mode. Then, I rested my face on his chest. Only a bit of his nose, lips, neck, down his chest ang nakikita sa screen. Perfect na iyon pang wallpaper ko! Walang makakaalam na siya iyon!
We ate early dinner before going shopping for a while. Gusto niya akong bilhan ng regalo na choice ko. Tumanggi ako dahil ayaw kong paggastusan niya pa ako. I was okay with spending time with him today at peace. It was already too much that he allotted time for me.
"Fine. Coffee and cake na lang." He really won't give up.
"Iyan ang hindi ko tatanggihan!" masaya kong sabi at pumunta na sa counter para bayaran ang mga bibilhin kong damit.
"Basta pagkain talaga 'no?" Marco was looking afar while the cashier scanned my items. "Uy, Ica. May powerpuff girls! Bilhin mo!" Masaya niyang tinuro ang isang pajama set na nakita niya.
As if a lightbulb popped in my mind. "Mahilig ka sa matchy, right?" I asked him.
Nilingon niya ako, nakakunot nang kaunti ang noo. "Not really. I just wanted to try and match your outfit today. Why? Gusto mong mag matchy tayo ng pantulog? No problem!" He was careless for joking that.
When he saw my lips formed a happy grin, kita ko kaagad sa mukha niya na pinagsisihan niya ang sinabi niya.
"Wala akong sinabi," pagmamaang-maangan niya kaagad.
"You said no problem," I reminded. Umiling siya. "I'll add something pa. Can you wait for a minute?" pakiusap ko sa cashier na nakangiting nanunuod sa 'min ni Maki.
"Sure, Ma'am!"
Dahan-dahan na umatras si Marco. Hinabol ko siya at nagpahuli rin naman siya. He groaned and messed his hair.
"Nagbibiro lang ako, eh!" reklamo niya.
"Jokes are half meant!"
"Jokes ko literal na joke lang," depensa niya.
I let out a fun laugh and pulled him to try some powerpuff girls pajamas on. In the end, he had no choice dahil sabi ko iyon na lang birthday gift niya sa akin!
Nakahawak siya sa kamay ko habang naglalakad-lakad kami pagkatapos namin mag snacks sa coffee shop. We both still had our cup of frappe in our free hands, my shopping bags hanging on his arms.
Naupo ako sa bench nang napagod maglakad. Marco quietly sat beside me. There was a band on the left side. Purely violin. It sounded so soothing and it matched our view. The sunset.
"Marco, thank you," I said sincerely, diverting my gaze at the fountain in front of us.
"Ang aga mo naman magpasalamat. Hindi pa tapos araw mo." A sweet smile creeped on his lips.
A light laugh went out my lips. Nilipad ang buhok ko ng hangin. He was quick to tucked my hair back into my ears, preventing it from blocking my face.
"Happy birthday, Zychela." He lifted my chin with a finger before planting a soft kiss on my forehead.
Napangiti ako at bumagsak ang tingin sa sahig. I glanced at him when I heard him laughing softly while staring adoringly at me. Muli akong tumingin sa sahig at dahan-dahang umiling tsaka ibinalik ang tingin sa kanya.
"Ano'ng hiling mo sa kaarawan mo?"
"Maging malaya," mahinang sagot ko. Pareho naming pinagmamasdahan ang pagtulo ng tubig sa fountain.
"Really?" His tone was so soft.
I nodded briefly. "That's all I ever dreamed for. To be free. Free from the judgement, free from the pressure, free from love that did me wrong, free from the spotlight... and more." I had much to say but I cut it short.
"Mahirap ba maging artista?" Marco's warm hands was suddenly on top my hand. He slowly held my hand in such a comforting manner.
"It is. It's even harder because I never really wanted to be an actress," I responded truthfully.
"Then why did you enter it if you aren't passionate about it?"
I just smiled, not wanting to be in a dramatic state in my only and probably best birthday. He squeezed my hand and gave me a small comforting smile, understanding my sorrows without context.
Even after a few minutes have passed, his gentle aura was still evident. His smile, his eyes... Everything about him screamed gentleness. Gentle. That is probably the best word that describes his presence and personality.
"Ikaw?" Tumikhim ako at uminom na ulit sa frappe ko, wanting the tension to be gone.
"Ano'ng ako? Wala akong wish. Hindi ko naman birthday." Marco raised his brows.
"Wish mo na lang para sa akin," pagbabago ko kaysa pilitin siya.
"For those sunburned emotions inside of you to be gone and make you free from everything that is causing you to burn," he answered in a heartbeat.
I smiled. "Sunburned emotions? Such reference, huh?"
"Naman, taga-isla 'to!" Proud niyang tinapik ang dibdib niya at natawa saglit. "Kaya ka nabibigatan sa mga sitwasyon sa buhay mo ay dahil sa mga emosyon mong nakakasunog. Pero kapag nawala na iyan, tuluyan ka nang magiging malaya," he said.
"Ikaw malaya ka na ba?" tanong ko. "Are you free from your love for her?" I didn't need to mention who.
Ngumiti siya sa akin nang tipid at sumimsim sa straw niya bago lumingon sa harap. Hindi siya sumagot kaagad at parang nangangapa pa ng sagot sa tubig na tumutulo sa fountain.
"Hindi madali... but I hope I'm getting there. I don't want to be unfair." It was almost a whisper but it still reached my ears.
"Unfair kanino?" To himself? To her? Who?
The ends of his lips twisted up. "Tara dinner?" Iyon ang sagot niya.
It was the only birthday I had where I didn't cry myself to sleep. Simpleng araw lang iyon para sa iba, pero hindi para sa akin. I never get to experience those little things before. No one gave me their time and effort. Just Marco. And it made me feel special.
"Hello, sweetheart!" Dad immediately hugged me when I reached his table in a fancy restaurant he wanted to meet up. "I missed you! Are you that busy that you rarely reply? How's it going with Aspen?"
Nilapag ko sa lamesa ang mga books ko bago naupo. Galing pa akong school. Medyo basa pa dahil umulan. Hindi na nga ako nakabihis para lang dumiretso rito. Nangungulit, eh.
"Yes, I'm busy." That was my response, but he already came up with a conclusion to his second question. This man's mind works like a computer. That's probably the only thing I got from him that I'm actually thankful.
"You broke up. I knew it! What did I tell you before? He's not the man for you! What did he do? He cheated? Only used you for fame? My little girl has poor choice in man!" He let out a bark of laughter.
My dad cares a little about me, my mom doesn't at all. Puro mali ang nakikita noon. Itong isa, palaging may komento. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng mas gugustuhin ko.
"Iyan kasi. Puro ka puso, hindi mo gingamitan ng utak. Kaya ka naloloko, iniiwan, hindi pinipili." Dad shook his head, disappointed.
Bakit ba siya pa ang disappointed? Wala naman siyang ambag sa buhay ko maliban sa paggawa sa akin. Kung may ibang ambag pa, sakit sa ulo, pressure, judgment.
"You're a Marquez. Huwag mo naman ipahiya ang pangalan natin dahil lang sa pagmamahal."
"At least, I own up my mistakes and acknowledge the fact that I will make many more in the future. Natututo ako, Dad. Hindi mo iyon nakikita," kalmado pero may diin kong sabi.
"Are you really learning?" Suddenly, he showed me his phone. I needed to hide my shock when I saw photo of me and Marco during my birthday. It was a paparazzi shot. "Who's this man then? Another man who will fool you? Is he even rich? He will use you for money and fame."
"How did you get that photo?" That was my priority.
"Don't worry. It's not a paparazzi, just my man who saw you. Hindi ito lalabas," he assured. "Lalake mo 'to?"
"Labas ka na roon," mataman kong sagot.
"Okay!" Natawa siya. "Lalique, siguraduhin mo lang na may mapapala ka sa buhay mo diyan sa lawyer plan mo."
"May mapapala ako. May napala na ako sa buhay. Kaunti... pero mayroon. I'm paying for my own bills and tuition because you nor Mom care about it." Hindi ko sinasadyang isumbat iyon.
"Financial lang? You're just wasting your time studying. Might as well waste your time acting because you somehow excel at that."
"Somehow?" The pang in my chest was so hard.
Dad nodded. "I didn't like your last movie. It was too bland. Boring, anak. Do more workshops. Don't you think it's about time you actually make me proud?"
I instantly felt dead inside, suddenly feeling deaf. Simple words... simple words that made me feel this way. Lost.
When my driver dropped me near my apartment, I was still in shock. Tulala lang akong naglalakad. I felt water falling from above but I didn't try to run like the people around me. I just continued walking, hugging my books tightly as I get drenched by the rain.
Malapit na ako sa gate nang bigla akong nanghina. Natumba ako sa sahig, nabitawan ang mga libro. Tuluyan nang nabasa ang mga iyon. Nakahawak lang ang isang kamay ko sa sahig habang tahimik na umiiyak.
Bakit ba ang hilig nilang manakit? Mahal daw nila ako pero bakit nila ako sinasaktan? What do they gain from that? Does it satisfy them so much to the point that they do it countless of times without feeling guilt? Without being careful of their words? Kasi kung oo, tangina na nila.
A shadow evaded the light reflecting on the ground. The man knelt in front of me, holding the umbrella which caused the rain above to stop pouring on my head.
A smiling Marco appeared in my vision. "Uwi na tayo?" he invited in a comforting tone.
Nanginig ang labi ko sa kagustuhang umiyak nang nakita ko siya. Kinailangan kong kagatin ang labi ko para hindi tumakas ang iyak na sinusubukan kong itago.
Pinulot ko ang mga libro ko nang bigla niyang pinigilan ang kamay ko.
"Ano'ng problema?"
Umiling ako habang pinipigilan pa rin ang hikbi. "Wala," pagsisinungaling ko.
"Wala?" He lifted my chin and made me face him, smiling again.
I nodded. "Wala," I repeated, forcing myself.
"Wala pero umiiyak ka?" mahinang sabi niya.
"Ulan lang iyan..." Tumawa ako at sinubukang punasan ang pisngi ko.
I saw his eyes soften. "Maniniwala lang ako kung kaya mong sabihin sa akin na wala kang problema," seryosong sabi niya.
"Wala ako..." Before I can even finish my sentence, my cries escaped my lips. It gree louder. I broke down in front of him badly, clenching my blouse with my hand because I was having a hard time breathing.
Marco's warm pair of arms wrapped around my shoulder. Dahil sa ginawa niya, tamabingi nang kaunti ang payong at nababasa na siya ng ulan pero wala siyang pakialam.
"Shh... Ano iyon? Sabihin mo sa akin. Makikinig ako," Marco whispered.