GOD'S FAVOURITE
For someone with ties to the Mafia, it was no shock to learn that Mello had a temper. Sometimes he would turn to take it out on the lowlife thugs or sniveling customers he dealt with, other times Matt would be the one in charge of calling his aggravated tantrums, and in the most severe instances he would end up taking it on himself, bashing the wall, clawing at his head till his blonde hair attached itself to his fingers and the one excuse on why he hadn't done just that was for the phone currently glued to his ear.
It was muffled and even more deafened by the oncoming downpour, a result of Tokyo's rainy season no doubt but he could still make it out.
The deep groans of ecstasy emoting from his best friend, the heavenly whines and whimpers from the girl he oh so adored, and a part of him wanted to thank Matt for that, for bringing out the side of her that he knew he could never attempt to because of his selfish desires and needs, maybe those exact things are why he fount himself rutting against the bed pillow like one of his snarling mutts. He was vile all own for doing this, both ready to plead with his best friend to make her moan more and scratch his eyes out for making such a bold move without his permission, if it had been anyone else less pure than Matt then they would be dead buried before dawn.
And despite being aware of his selfish nature and how outlandish it was, he held nothing back to the jealousy threading around his heart like thorns.
Was it even fair to hold resentment? He had been the one to agree to share her, both of them had held rules to never go after each other and yet the more he listened the more that promise felt like fodder from the past...But god would he give out then and there if Matt dared stop. Mello despised him for it, he wanted to scream and snap at the male till his lungs gave out, to drag Y/N to his bed to add his mark on her. He desired nothing more than to grab them both by the hair and offer them the same cruel torment and twisted lust they had forced upon him. He would ultimately throw his fit over it but Mello would never want them to stop in the current moment, not with the small teeth marks across his hand and desperate mutters rushing past his lips the closer they all became.
And by the end of it, despite his anger and threats, despite the spite coursing through his veins, he had collapsed completely on the stained covers, deep pants emitting from his mouth and trickles of sweat across his face with the mobile pressed so tightly it might as well have been conjoined onto his body. How could he rip himself away when those sweet noises replayed in his mind like a sirens song, why would he move with such a satisfied daze taking over his body, energy scorned and yet happy as his eyes fluttered closed for a few minutes of peace, a mere spec of time where he could lose himself to fantasy.
Until his door had been slammed open an hour later.
"Mel, you up?" The brunette muttered softly, almost melodic as he approached the bed dripping in rain and smelling of sex, of her. A mix of fruit and rose-filled his nostrils and for a second he leaned into it. "I see you enjoyed yourself." He sniggered. "Can't say I didn't either."
"You fucking bastard!" Mello snapped, that same bitterness swelling his heart as he jumped up from the sheets and punched Matt square in the jaw. "What the fuck was that!? That was a step we were doing together! You selfish dick I can't believe you!"
Staggering back from impact the corners of his lips twinged upwards as if he was completely content with the reaction he had gotten. "Damm Mell, I think my gums are bleeding." He snarked, tongue lolling out. "Wanna taste? She was sweet."
"You're fucking dead!" He screamed, grabbing Matt by the collar and slamming him against the wall, but never earned a reaction, not even when the cock of his gun was heard. "Why!? Why would you go behind my back!?" Blonde hair littered across his forehead had been swiped back with his gloved hand.
"I'll take that as a no then," Matt replied, warily calm for someone in his position one would assume but he held no fear, if anything he was amused by his friend and didn't hesitate to knock the gun barrelling to the floor. "Don't pretend you wouldn't have done the same thing if it had been you following her. Gimme a break for fucks sake, you're all for sharing if it's under your terms right? That's not how this works and I ain't playing it that way. We, my friend, are equal when it comes to this."
Mello hated how correct he was, for someone always used to playing second in command he forget just how reckless Matt could be and sometimes exceeded him, that was the balance to their whole dynamic. "You're an asshole." He rolled his eyes, tucking the pistol back into his jacket.
Sinking back on the double bed a small smirk crawled its way across his face, the eye's shutting as he took the lace from his pocket and dangled it between two fingers. "Aww, you hurt my feelings, and even after I brought you a gift." Matt mocked. "I was ready to go round two but fuckin' hell the feeling of seeing her limp outta that backseat."
"Perverted fuck." Mello scoffed, snatching the underwear and shoving it into his pocket. He knew he didn't have the honor to insult his friend considering his earlier actions. "I wouldn't lay your head on that, we need to change the sheets."
Waving him off Matt sank deeper into the comforter with a blissful sigh, grinning wickedly before turning away. "Nah, I'm good. I Wanna sleep smelling like my two favorite people. Feel free to join me here if you want to"
"Finish that sentence and your the dog's breakfast tomorrow."
▪︎▪︎▪︎
Y/N wondered if there was an inherent moral problem with melting at the sight of the man in front of her considering her hatred for him, not to mention the shameless fact she had been sleeping with another minutes before.
Despite how much she resisted giving his ego another boost there was no doubt on this earth that L Lawliet was bewitching, particularly in the present he looked as if Aphrodite had hand-crafted himself herself as a gift to humanity.
Naturally, Y/N looked past him, the sunken look in his eyes, the wild raven hair, and the sluggish posture, and the sleepy nature completed with a casual wardrobe that did nothing in aspects of style. All of that had been retained in his current look so why couldn't she stop staring like a fool? His hair had been slicked back, a few strands falling onto his forehead with the rest tied back into a small ponytail, purposely done or not his ivory suit perfectly matched and accompanied her dress with only the tie loosely hanging around his neck.
"Hold still," Y/N demanded before she had even exited the convertible, sitting back into the seat next to him and yanking him forward by the collar. "If you walk in there with it like that then we'll be kicked before we enter the door, reservation or not...The great L can't manage a knot? The color doesn't match you very well."
"Yet you still had trouble looking away." He retorted, eyes filling with playful arrogance. He would never deny just how much delight it gave him, grey as it may have been he would've rather be at a loss than bored with a case. "You forget I can tell when people are lying."
Pausing for a moment Y/N debated her response, mouth falling open for a second before she diverted her eyes back to the tie, a hint of surprise in her eyes. In her defense, it was easier to take digs at one another when they were at a distance and she reasoned that had been the only excuse for her lack of words.
"If you don't mind your manners you'll attract attention. Everyone has their eye on you, staff, customers." She continued to list, folding it through before tucking the material into his jacket. "One wrong move or incorrect action and they'll know you're an outsider so cover up the real you like he never existed. I'll guide you through it so for once in your life, don't follow your lead."
"Are you assuming I do not know etiquette?" L mumbled tone feigning sarcasm before he overlapped her hand with his own and Y/N made no move to flinch back or shove him away. "Though I wonder how a girl from Kamakura who hadn't a day of traditional schooling has precise knowledge in that department and even more on this establishment."
"This might be the first time in your life you've been told this, However, I must ask." Y/N paused, snatching her hands away and tucking a piece of his strand away. "Mind your business because even you understand when things are out of your element..."
But it was his curiosity that hounded him to pull her back and push further, deeper and faster because he wanted to know, that insatiable hunger in his head couldn't stand living in ignorance but this was neither the time nor place.
They had been a beacon for attention the minute they stepped out of the shadows, the rowdy line that usually formed in the early hours of the evening had been halted into a keen silence but L offered none of them a glance nor did he take a minute to admire the building behind him, instead his cold eye's remained latched onto Y/N's as he held out his hand and for a mere second she seemed hesitant before slipping her's into his and entering the palace.
With another hand wrapped snugly around her waist and hers resting on his chest they each took a second to survey the restaurant, leaning up to caress his cheek her lips danced across his ear like a ghost. "Keep your eyes on me," Y/N ordered, her voice far more strict and calculating before he tilted her chin upwards.
"There's nothing else worth looking at." He replied.
Perhaps that was the biggest hated she held for L Lawliet, despite her ire towards him there was nobody else left on this earth she'd allow seeking past her behavior, there wasn't anyone else she'd trust enough to offer a glimpse into her feelings or find solace and safety in their arms and he knew it, he had been guilty of using it for his benefit and she returned that ideology, in many aspects he could be just as bad as Light Yagami in her own opinion, the mere difference between them was that L acknowledged past his trophies and titles, past the fame and blitz he was a terrible person, an undeniably self-indulgent one who would hardly spare a person's feelings or fix their actions, his life came in the form of his cases and he'd known nothing but them so to whatever extent it may go he would never lose one.
Hell, the reason he had taken on the Kira case was to soothe his curiosity not to save lives, that was a mere benefit. Even now he used the girl on his arm to solve the case.
Everyone and everything was expandable to L Lawliet, it had just been that nobody but her wished to think of him in such a dark portrayal.
"Mr Ryuzaki and you must be" The chipper waitress paused, her eyes widening for a brief moment before recovering. "H-His date. My apologies for staring at you both, I'm your waitress Itsuko, and if you'll allow me to bring you to your table." She finished swiftly, an array of confusion and panic sweeping over her head. "I'll be back shortly to ask you both about drinks and entrée."
It was a two-seated lavish set in the more intimate corner of the room, most voices bubbling down to background noise for the two with Y/N's backside to their target behind them, luck brought down to fate considering her dilemma had been avoiding meeting Yamato's gaze throughout the night. L however had been staring intensely at the sixty-something across from him, his thumb resting on his lip out of habit.
"Stop staring because he'll know." Y/N deadpanned, unraveling her silk napkin to rest across her lap before motioning him to follow suit. "And no elbows on the table. If we're going to pull this off then divert your attention onto either the plate or me. Pretend you have an interest in me and don't even think about looking back."
"I don't need to pretend, you just do nothing to calm my questions about you." L quipped, his eyelashes fluttering to read over the menu.
Raising a brow she kept gazing at her menu. "Probably because you have a file on me full of details, not to mention everything about me is public knowledge. The media know more about me than I do, if it'll amuse you then ask away."
"What scares you?" He asked, seemingly out of nowhere and out of character with what she had been expecting.
"...Huh?" Blinking rapidly she placed the Menu down. "You spent all your time trying to gather information on me and when I finally allow you, that's what you decide to ask!?" She scoffed.
"Would you believe I'm tired of talking about Work?" He hummed. "I doubt you would inform me about anything useful with Kira, talking about your past might make things extremely tense to sit through, and anything too personal and you'll assume I'm just trying to get close to you for my benefit."
Her irritation grew from the triumphant spark within his eyes. "Horses. For my birthday once my Dad took me to the stables, I was excited to pick my own out until I found myself sitting on this gigantic beast, the next thing I knew it was trying to throw me off of it and when I finally came down it tried to stomp on me."
"Oh." L nodded, though despite his efforts he couldn't help the smile pulling at his cheeks.
"What are you snickering about!?" Y/N snipped, her cheeks flaming red in embarrassment.
"Aizawa's terrified of you, and so are most of the team." He explained, her eyes narrowing even more. "I should just tell them to buy some toy horses and set them up around the room. Who needs a prison? We'll just make you work at a stable."
"Hah!? Shut up, that's not something you say to people when they open up to you!" She pouted. "Let me ask you something in return, why are you so interested in the Kira case?"
"You've asked me that before." He deadpanned, his tone condescending against her own. "How ironic that we both want the same thing from each other."
"I wouldn't have to ask again if you give me a direct answer the first time." She muttered. "Your life is an isolating one, all you find purpose in those cases. Have you never wanted to do something else? Start a family? Retire?"
"It's all I've ever known."
Taking into account his lowered tone she had taken note that the topic had been drawing to a close, but what were two people who thrived off their secrets supposed to discuss besides mind-numbing small talk? L was a person who needed stimulation and she knew that much, yet anything that could take his mind off of their mission would result in something she didn't need slipping.
Taking a sip of the ice water Y/N's eyes were directed to the kitchen window where a frantic Itsuko and Mari were ushering her over, occasionally pausing in a pathetic attempt to look like they were doing their jobs. "Excuse me, I need to go freshen up."
"In the opposite direction to the restroom?" The ravenette cocked his head, lowering the menu and gazing between her and the seat.
A frustrated sigh left her lips, he would never allow her to go without earning something in return or being told the truth. "What is it going to take for you to allow me to walk over there while you play oblivious?"
"A question." He replied with no hesitation, voice wavering ever so slightly. "I want to ask you one question, something you can't avoid or write off. Something you have to answer with the effort put in."
"Nothing about the Kira case?" Y/N bargained, L offering a small nod in response. "Fine. But you can't attempt to eavesdrop, don't even think about looking that way."
"I keep my word."
"We both know that's not true." She whispered under her breath, leaving no room for a retort as she strutted over to the kitchen and slipped in to walk through to the staff room.
Unlike downstairs where she usually found herself working there hadn't been a space for privacy in the restaurant, everything was on display or open to public viewing, and what little space the staff did have came in the form of what was essentially a locker room. Before she had even walked in it was clear how Itsuko and Mari had been bickering under their breaths, the elder pacing back and forth causing her heels to clack against the floor while Itsuko simply looked distressed, though neither had shot up faster when she entered the space. Each continued shifting on the spot and opening and closing their mouths as if debating who got to speak first before Mari eventually took the lead.
"You can't be here, you damm idiot!" She emphasized, unlike her usual snippy comments this one seemed laced with tensity. "Hatori comes in here tonight, any fucking minute! If he sees you out there-"
"I have no idea why you're here in the first place but you need to leave!" Itsuko cut in, tugging Y/N towards the door. "We haven't got a lot of time, if he finds out you were here then it'll be a lot worse than last time, and I-" She paused, a small shiver running through her spine. "I just can't watch you go through that again."
"But he's rarely here until night, never on a Monday." Y/N countered, pulling herself away from them. "Even if he is, I can't leave. I'm here on...Business."
Never would she say out loud that a small whimper escaped her throat, that pit of dread she hated building up from the mere idea that he would catch her, even she didn't want to imagine the consequences of Ken Hatori not only finding her in a lie but putting together she was with L on the Kira case.
"Yes you can, you have to! I'll tell ya date you threw up so we got you a cab, or that you just ditched him!" Itsuko continued to rant. "Go! He's gonna be here any second Y/N, fuck! We can't let him find out"
"Then you shouldn't discuss it in the building I own." A smooth voice cut in, hand clamping down on Y/N's shoulder while the other two practically trembled. "Now, now, I don't recall hiring employees for the use of going by my back."
"Sir you don't understand-"
"I understand perfectly." His voice never raised or snapped, he hadn't even stopped smiling down at the two. "I hope you both understand you'll be punished harshly for this." Shoving Y/N around it was as if he had become a different person, fingers digging into her cheeks with the other gripping her arm. "Walk. Now." Hatori seethed.
"Difficult day, Ken?" She had prayed he hadn't taken note of her wincing, the hand going from her face to her lower back as they made their way into the dining area. "It's not their fault, they were trying to help me because you traumatized them last week."
"I'd advise you to close your mouth and guide me to your table, I'll deal with you later." And she was all too aware he would but that hadn't been the purpose for now.
Now Ken Hatori wanted to know. He needed to know who had bought her the dress and shoes, who she could even know to bring her here and why they were here in the first place. She had no other contacts besides himself and Soichiro, nobody else to turn to, and certainly no one of the names that she could be dallying around Tokyo with.
Of course, he had been taken completely off guard to find out her real dinner partner and the hand on her break practically ripped the hems of the dress. "L?" His brows raised in surprise, the Detective glancing between them. "I apologize...I'm frankly taken off guard. Are you the ones here with Y/N? I had thought she had stumbled in here searching for me, she seemed distressed in the kitchen."
"Did she now?" L pondered, his eyes thoroughly trained on a motionless girl in front of him.
He had several reasons to dislike Y/N, she was thoroughly stubborn, effortlessly sneaky, and had no issue with going toe to toe with him throughout the years...But what he despised, even more, was the apparent stranger he was viewing, for all his complaints she had never bored him, is that why it irked him to such an extent watching her right now? The same woman who had argued with him in front of the entire task force was now gazing at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen, completely subdued with Hatori speaking up for her. He hated it, L was unsure why but god did he hate it.
From the poisonous glare he was rewarding L, she didn't even want to think how he'd be looking at her. "Excuse my bluntness but do you think this classifies as appropriate considering the history between you? It's unethical to date one of your cases, especially such a fragile young girl."
"We aren't on a date, she's assisting me on an investigation." Y/N was shaking and she'd fully confess, she felt like such a coward trying to hold up the bile in her throat, it felt like the anxiety might swallow her whole by this point and if possible she'd wished it would.
"I can explain-"
What she didn't expect however was for the famed L Lawliet, the same one who wore a blank expression for most of his time to pull her away from Ken's arms and into his, her face buried directly in his shoulder with one hand pulling her closer, the other petting her head softly. "I understand she's your long-term patient but I don't appreciate the way you were holding her and while I'd talk with you Doctor Hatori, It's rude to interrupt dinner and I believe you're upsetting her further." Her eyes were glossy and wide though she made no move, simply scrunching her hands into his shirt. "Goodnight." It wasn't a bid but a demand, L's voice deepening before he guided the both of them back to the table.
It was an act, she tried to think logically about it. a tactic he was probably used to draw her in so she'd assist the Kira case further and an effective one considering the fact her heart could've fallen from her chest in relief. She knew Hatori had probably been fuming to himself behind her and would surely take it on her tomorrow...And yet for the first time, even if it was glazed in a ploy or deceit, Y/N felt safe. It was different from when she had observed Soichiro having it out with him because, for all his efforts he was limited in his power compared to the psychiatrist, L, however, oozed that same amount of control, his voice barely rising higher throughout the confrontation. She was safe.
Should she thank him? Express just how much relief she currently felt. So why was the only response she could offer falling incredibly short? "Thank you...I don't need anybody's help though so you didn't need to"
"I know." His tone was gentle and his smirk grew as he pulled her from the chair towards the door. "But let me offer it anyway."
The same reply he had given on that day while bandaging her up. "But if we leave now you might miss something that could help with the Kira case, isn't it important that we keep eye on Yamato?"
He knew how out of character this was for him, a part of him was still beckoning the question of why and yet he didn't look back. "He's not my priority right now. I doubt he would've done anything but drink at the table for the night anyways." L knew he could have people following the man with the snap of his fingers, the only reason it hadn't been the case for tonight came down to one reason, he wanted the chance to spend time with her without eye's on them at the station.
Swiftly the car had already pulled up outside for them, an umbrella over their heads, and just before entering the vehicle Y/N leaned against the water-covered window. "Lawliet." It hadn't been the same icy tone as before, for once she looked at him with a vulnerability many wrote she wasn't capable of. "Even if you just did it for your benefit...Thank You. I mean it."
"You still owe me a question, Miss L/N."
▪︎▪︎▪︎
It was fair to say that Light Yagami had not been someone who should be in a relationship, he had never even had a friend in his life because he wasn't interested in people. Sometimes he wondered just what had prompted him down his current path and other times it felt crystal clear. He wanted to control people, but he did not need them, especially not the blonde in front of him. Sometimes Misa seemed more like a pet than a person, constantly whining for his attention, always forgetting the simplest things, and barely showing anything other than a bubbly persona unless it came to him.
Even now as she lay still in his bed, nuzzling into his bare chest with a content sigh he felt nothing, no excitement nor relief, it was pure numbness. Considering she had forced him into the relationship was it his fault? Then again the brunette had shown no remorse for his part in using her but Kira never left his devote followers feeling inadequate and she had received more than her fair share of pleasure.
"Your leaving? Can't we stay like this for some more time?" She yawned softly, placing a light peck on his jaw.
"My parents or Y/N could walk in any minute, do you want them seeing us like this?" He sighed, she probably would but both of them began to dress. "You need to leave, I have work to do."
"Let me stay and keep you company?" She teased, blonde hair running down her back as she smirked over her bare shoulder. "I'm sure I can find ways to keep myself occupied," Misa added, crawling over the sheets to nip at his ear.
"No thank you."
"No need to be so harsh." Ryuk mused from the corner.
Glaring at the Shinigami from the corner of his eye while he did up the first few buttons of his shirt Light softened his grimace, entwining Misa's hand with his own. "I'm sorry if I sound harsh, please just allow me to work tonight, I'll go get you some water before you leave."
"Thank you, Darling." She beamed as he rushed out of the room, rolling on her back and kicking her legs in excitement. "I love you-"The door slamming cut her off, despite this she continued to hum happily. "Did you see that, Rem? It was wonderful, he's so gentle!"
"Perhaps he's in a bad mood," Ryuk muttered a dense silence following considering all he could do was watch the teenager sing in glee.
"He must be shy. What a Sweetheart, I suppose he's never been pleasured in that sort of way before. Maybe he's satisfied!" Misa cooed, deluded as she sounded neither God wanted to correct her.
"Not with that face." A voice interrupted the blonde's fantasies, kicking the door shut with her dress still on Y/N barely glanced at her as she ruffled through the laundry. "Carry on, I only needed a change of clothes. Hey Ryuk."
"How ya doing over there Gorgeous? Any apples?"
"You're dress is beautiful!" Misa beamed, jumping from the bed to circle her. Wandering her hands around the curves of Y/N's in concentration. "Hmm, the design suits you but I'd love to see you in a darker color!"
"You're a designer?" Y/N implored, swatting away her hands. "Don't touch there!"
"Nope! I just model them!" She grinned, pulling the teen over to the bed. "Though I'd love to make clothes one day, it would be fun to work behind the camera for once. Ooo! You could be my first model! What else do you have to lose?"
"Hold on, what did you just say? The last part?" Repeating it once again Misa pursed her lips at the look of uncertainty glossing over Y/N's face as if a wave had hit her. "I'm sorry." She shook her head, a smile of disbelief crossing across her face. "You just sound like somebody I used to know."
"Aww, tell me they were cute!" Misa huffed, she was like drinking coffee for the first time, a burst of energy and sunshine as she continued to ramble about nonsense. "So, I gotta tell you something." Her words were drawn out. "Light told me everything and I kinda sorta was gonna kill you." Pulling out her notebook she dangled the page in front of Y/N's face, half of her name written out. "But I didn't! I did at the time after finding out you fucked him. But for now, I wanna keep you too! Of course, I and Light are in love but every couple has their toys and I've always wanted a best friend, not to mention he got really mad at me for trying to kill you and all and I wanna compromise to make him happy-"
"Toy?" Y/N deadpanned, frankly she couldn't keep up with the peppy girl in front of her. "He told you that we slept together? You were ready to hang me for throwing a vase at his head, what changed?"
"Because that was mean! To be honest with you I still wanna kill you from time to time, maybe I still will." She let out an exasperated sigh, head resting in her hands. "But Light said you were going to die by his hand so what's the point? In the meantime, we can both keep you! It doesn't bother me knowing you're servicing him, it's like paying respect to your God! It's got nothing to do with romance or love so go wild." She paused, leaning closer before caressing Y/N's cheek. "Ahh, you are so cute! Anyways back to my point. He's still mine, you're just his follower. I think this arrangement benefits everyone. Also, Sweetie, he didn't need to tell me. He barely fessed up till I wrote your second letter down. I'll admit I'm a little dense but you'd have to be a fucking moron to ignore the way he looks at you he is since he hasn't figured it out."
"Oh." What else could she say? Even Rem and Ryuk seemed flabbergasted by her response. "I'm sorry to disappoint you Misa, but I don't think I'm anybody's toy. I have an agreement with Light and I don't oppose Kira, but I'm not his slave or follower."
"You think that now but you'll adore him just as much as me! For now, I've figured out a suitable punishment for you both, then we can all be honest with each other!" She cheered softly, though the smirk on her face indicated differently. "See Y/N, I'm the one who sent out those tapes to the station for Light, I knew the risk of my DNA landing on them but I'd do anything for him. Back then when I had first met you I knew. I don't want you dead right now but it's only fair you be punished. Don't worry, it won't be long before they trace mine. Think of it as a time-out!"
Before they could exchange anymore the voices of several people, including Light and Soichiro prompted Y/N to make her way downstairs, Misa trailing softly behind to run into his arms while Sayu and Sachiko stood frozen at the back.
"This is ridiculous!" Soichiro boomed to his co-workers, the vein in his forehead propelling as he blocked the door. "Tell L to revoke his order! Someone tampered with the evidence, you can't do this."
"We don't want to do it either you two, but we don't have a choice in the matter." Mogi sighed, shoving past with Matsuda trailing behind like a kicked puppy.
"I'm sorry. I'll try to loosen them." Touta whispered towards Y/N, ushering her to turn around against the wall. "Y-Y/N L/N You're under arrest for suspicion of being linked to the Kira investigation, specifically of being the second Kira."
"I told you she couldn't be trusted." Sachiko snipped at her husband.
"Be quiet, Mom." Light snapped.
"If you say anything it may harm-"
"This isn't my first time Gentleman, no need for the speech." Y/N cut Mogi off, offering Matsuda a nod of reassurance. "Here we go again."
▪︎▪︎▪︎
A/N: Heya! I just wanted to say a huge thank you for the support on this book and...I'm sorry for all the emotional damage I may cause! A huge shout out and thank you too Sunnyd3w for creating a playlist for this book, I have linked it multiple times in my messages and I suggest you all listen when listening.