Lights turn on, revealing a big stage with a chair on it. Jordan, however you imagine her, is sitting on a chair. To her left is a series of couches and seats.
Jordan: Hey y'all! Welcome to the second ever character Q&A, for the characters by the characters. I saw that a lot of people liked it in the previous book (Tear In My Heart) so I wanted to bring it back! I'll be asking a combination of questions I got on Wattpad, Inkitt, and questions that I asked the OG characters from TIMH to see how their answers differ from the new generation of characters. So, before I get into the questions for the characters, I'll answer some questions for me!
*clears throat and pulls out a comedically small index card.*
Q: What inspired you to write this book?
A: This book was actually never supposed to happen, fun fact. This book only came about when I made the spontaneous decision to include a bonus chapter in this book's predecessor where Addison was questioning his sexuality. After I released that, a lot of people wanted the full story and I really wanted to write a story about someone who thought they knew what they wanted romantically but has it all turned upside down. Addi and Tyler seemed like the perfect ways of doing that while also staying in the same universe as Tear In My Heart with the beloved Madison and Noah.
*Madison, offstage*: I'm more beloved than Noah, right?– Ow! Babe, I'm kidding.
Me: Children, calm down back there! Everyone will get their own chances to talk! Now, onto the next question
Q: Since Addison is the main character, why isn't he on the cover instead of Tyler?
*Tyler, offstage*: Rude!
A (me): I've got various versions of this question since chapter 12 when Addi said that because he's not black, he could never understand the struggles that Tyler faces because of his race. I have to admit that it slipped my mind that everyone who's reading/ read this book hasn't read TIMH, therefore don't know the race descriptions of Addison and his siblings (which is fine), but also, I never thought of Addison of the main character, as weird as that sounds. Like, yeah we see the story from his perspective and see inside of his head for all of the main chapters, however, to me, this story has been about Tyler and his struggles as he deals with his trauma. I just used Addison's POV as an external way to show how difficult it is the open up about trauma and its lasting impacts on a person and those around them. But I 100% understand the confusion and will work to better clear that up when I go through and edit/ rewrite some parts of the book to fix plot holes. Hopefully, that made sense and clears that up! Now that that's over...
*Jordan throws the card over her shoulder, gets up, and walks off the side of the stage. After some sounds of a struggle, she walks back on dragging Addison by his wrist behind her*
Addison (still getting dragged despite his best effort to resist): You know you could've just, I don't know, asked me to come on stage instead of dragging me like an animal!
Jordan (unbothered): Don't take it personal. It's a tradition for me to drag the first person out.
*Noah, offstage*: It's true! She did it to me too a few years ago!
Ian (in the audience): *obnoxious clapping and hollering* Woooooh! That's my best friend! That's! My! Best! Friend!
Lelani (also in the audience): Babe, calm down. You're going to embarrass him.
(Addison blushes and gives Ian a small wave to satiate him. It works and Ian calms down)
Q: What made you start liking Tyler?
A: I don't think there was any one thing that I noticed and thought "wow, this is really nice, I think I'll like him now" or anything like that. It was just a lot of the little things, y'know? His smile. His compassion. His laugh. His dimples. The way he said my name. I noticed things like that until I found myself yearning for them and getting excited when I saw him for no particular reason. So yeah, that's how I started liking him I guess.
Q: What's your favorite color?
A: I like pastel blue. It's a nice soft color and it reminds me of clear summer skies.
Q: Cats or dogs?
A: I want to get a dog so badly. I've wanted one since I was young but Papa is allergic to them, so we couldn't have any in the house growing up. But now Tyler has his mind on getting a cat when we move into our new apartment in a few months ever since he started caring for one of the campus cats that wander around. So, I prefer dogs, but knowing Tyler, we'll end up with a cat. Maybe we can get both, I don't know.
Q: Okay, so you loved Kyra, right? If you loved her as much as you claimed you did, how could you move on so quickly? It doesn't seem fair or make sense.
A *awkwardly scratches the back of his head*: I've said this before, the situation with Kyra was unfortunate and complicated, okay? It wasn't like I was 100% in love with her one moment and the next I was 100% in love with Tyler. As I've previously said, I was slowly falling out of love with Kyra and into like with Tyler. And it's not like I instantly 100% loved him when we finally got together. It's like a spectrum or a scale. But regardless, I can't completely verbalize or even understand why emotions work the way they do, nor will I try to. I'm happy now and that should be enough.
Q: Do you see yourself marrying Tyler someday?
A: Oh definitely. I love him with all of my heart. We've been together for a bit over a year and during that time I've found more and more ways to love him. Yeah, we've had our ups and downs as a couple, like fights and stuff, but every couple does. But to answer the question, I 100% see myself marrying Tyler once we're financially secure. It's going to be beautiful, even more beautiful than my dads' wedding.
Q: What's your favorite memory with Tyler?
A (smiling like an idiot): I think my favorite memory with Tyler is every second we spent together over spring break. Not only was it nice to wake up next to him every day for a week after being separated for what felt like years, seeing his excitement as we explored Florida and Disney World is something I'll never forget. It was beautiful and it reminded me of how incredibly lucky I was to have him back. It was also funny watching him have debates with the other parkgoers about who the best Disney character was and why. As we've all seen, he gets very into his Disney arguments and cartoon philosophy.
Jordan: Side note, all of the random tangents Tyler has gone on about movies and TV shows are byproducts of my actual thoughts and conversations I've had with my friends. I was just trying to find a way to force it on to y'all.
Tyler (off stage): But you do agree with my points, right? Especially the Peppa Pig one, like they're literally all animals. All of them! All! Of! Them! How do they discern themselves from the zoo animals?!
Jordan: That's a question I ask myself every day. Next question: have you two had any further homophobic experiences since the All-State game?
A (Addi strokes his chin in thought): No, not really. At least, none to our faces, but I heard some talk back in high school that wasn't so nice. Oh, I did almost swing on a guy for hitting on Tyler while I was standing right next to him. He's lucky that Ty calmed me down or else he would've ended up in a hospital and I would've ended up in jail.
Jordan: Hm, interesting. I'm sure the readers would've loved to read about that exchange...oh well. Anyways, Tyler, get on out here.
*Tyler leisurely strolls out onto the stage and takes a seat next to Addison. Ty instantly slings his arm across Addison's shoulders and Addison wastes no time cuddling up into Tyler*
Tyler (to Addison): It was super hot the way you were all chivalrous and shit. That waiter almost pissed his pants. *laughs* But we need to go back to Disney World. I miss it, and I agree, we made the best memories there.
Addison (laughing): Maybe we can go back on our two-year anniversary. Sound fair?
*Tyler nods in agreement before turning to Jordan*
Tyler: Okay. What questions do these people who've been watching our lives have for us?
Madison (off-stage): Yeah, creepy right?! They did the same thing to us too for like twenty years until Addison was three!
Tyler (shrugs): I don't think it's creepy per-say. I just think of them as... dedicated fans.
Jordan: I bet they appreciate it. Okay, question for you Tyler, when did you first know that Addison liked you?
A: Oh, that's a good question. At first, I noticed the way he looked at me. It was a weird mixture of curiosity and something akin to fear. He'd only look at me that way, no one else. At first, I thought it was because he didn't like me, but as I got to know him, I knew that wasn't the case.
In fact, throughout the time I've known Addi I've picked up on the fact that he's great at hiding every emotion but embarrassment or anger. He'd blush like crazy every time I'd touch him or smile at him or really do anything that was directed in his general direction. At first, I thought it was some toxic masculinity BS, but then I'd see the look in his eyes. He'd get shy and stumble over his words. He'd never try to assert his dominance or anything, he'd simply blush and shrink back.
But at that point, it still felt like wishful thinking. Like there was a voice in the back of my head telling me I'd imagined it all. But what confirmed it for me was the day we worked on the project at Addi's house in his room. He was buggin' out, but I thought it was adorable. Words can't describe how badly I wanted to kiss him then, but he was with Kyra and no matter how badly I wanted him, I wasn't willing to risk messing up what they had to get it. But that's what made our first kiss even better. The wait. That and the fact that Addi initiated it first.
Addi: Don't play all innocent, Tyler. You knew what you were doing; taking your shirt off, holding me close. You're not slick.
Tyler (innocently shrugs): Well, it worked, didn't it?
Addi (smiling like a love-sick puppy): I guess you can say that.
Jordan: Y'all can kiss later, but we've got a Q&A to get through. Next question: when did you know you loved Addison?
A: I honestly don't know. It's just like... every time I was with him, I found something new that I loved about him– mind you, loving something about someone isn't the same as loving someone. But anyways, as the days went by, I realized that I loved everything about him. His smile, the way he held me, the way he said my name. And he just made me feel safe, which was something I hadn't felt in a long time. He never judged me for anything or made me feel bad about my family dynamic compared to his. He was just there, and that's something that I need and love.
Q: Where do you see your relationship with Addison in 10 years?
A: Hopefully somewhere in a town outside of Chicago that's close enough to the city, but far away enough that we can eventually raise a family. I'd like to get married in ten years, but I'm in no rush. I love him, he loves me. A wedding is just an expensive cake party at that point, but I'll do whatever he wants. We'll have a cat and a dog and, like, eventually I'd like to have 2 kids running around wreaking havoc on the world. But not necessarily in 10 years. Maybe 15 or so, we have time to decide.
Addison: I like the sound of that. You'll make a great dad. Seeing the way you handle Serenity confirms it.
Tyler: Thanks, baby. Let's hope so.
Jordan: Okay, we'll be getting into some deeper questions. Are you ready for that, Tyler?
Tyler: Yeah, I'm ready.
Q: How did you realize that your mother wasn't coming back after she tricked you into conversion therapy?
Tyler (awkward chuckle): You weren't lying when you said deep, huh?
Addison (taking his hand): It's okay, babe. Take your time. In fact, you don't even have to answer if you don't want to.
Tyler (shakes his head): No, I'm good. I got this. Thanks though. *clears his throat* I think a part of me knew the moment I saw her walk away from me, however, a bigger part of me was hoping that she was better than that. That she loved me more than that. But she wasn't. She didn't. So I went to drastic measures. I mean, when I tried to kill myself with the can, I was half hoping she'd run in there and stop me. She didn't. I was praying that if I woke up, she'd be by my side. She wasn't. At that moment, alone in a small quiet hospital room, I knew I was completely alone with no one to save me from the twisted people in there, or from myself. It was hard. It felt like I was in there for an eternity, but I survived. My dad got me, and well, the rest is history.
Q: Would you want to see your mother again if she'd proven that she 100% changed?
A: Evil like that can't completely change. It can only morph and be directed at something or someone else. Even if I did believe she changed, I'd never be able to look at her without remembering the pain she put me through. So no. I never want to see her again, and I never plan to.
Q: How has the "see-saw" of emotions in your brain been recently?
A: It's been okay. I still have really bad moments, but I've been going to therapy and talking my emotions out with my dad and Addi instead of keeping it all in, so that's been helping.
Jordan: I'm sorry about all of that, and thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell us that. Now, last question: what is your favorite feature about Addison?
A: I can't pick just one, you know that! I of course love how expressive his eyes are and how warm his smile is, but I also love the way he holds me. I feel so protected and warm. Ooh, I also love how observant he is and how he likes to take control. It's really hot, especially in the bedr–
Addison (blushing): Tyler, stop. Our parents are literally listening from backstage.
Tyler (puts hands up in surrender): All right, all right. My bad. *turns to the readers and mouths power bottom which causes Addison to hit him upside the head. Tyler laughs*
Addison: Tyler!!
Jordan: On that note, Madison, Noah, Mr. Barnett, get out here!
*The couple walks out hand in hand and makes themselves comfortable on a couch adjacent to the one that Ty and Addison are sitting on while Mr. Barnett makes himself comfortable on the single chair next to them*
Madison: Wow, it's been a while since we've been here.
Noah: Yep, too long. Back with the strangers who have been watching our lives. Or, more so our son's life which is even weirder!
Addison: In their defense, they're only here because of you two. They liked your story so much that they wanted to see mine and by proxy, yours continuing.
Noah: Yeah, yeah. Let's move on to the questions
Mr. Barnett: I'm just glad to be included
Q: First one is for Madison and Noah: how did you feel when Addison came out?
Madison: Pretty normal..? I mean, given that we're literally a gay couple, there wasn't really any room for judgment of any sort. We were just happy if our son was happy, that's all.
Noah: I will say, though, I was very surprised at how nervous he was telling us. I wasn't expecting that given, as Madison pointed out, that we are literally gay.
Addison: In my defense, I wasn't so much nervous about coming out, but more so of your reaction as to how I was moving on so fast. I don't know... I just didn't want you to judge me.
Madison: Of course, we'd never judge you, son. Your confusion and feelings were and still are 1000% valid.
Addison: Thanks, dad.
Q: This one is for Malcolm: how did you find out about what was happening to Tyler back in Louisiana?
A: I actually found out on a phone call with...her. We were talking about Serenity and child support, and I asked about Tyler. She casually brought up that he was in conversion therapy like it was no big deal. Now, I'll admit, I wasn't the most involved with Tyler in his younger years, so I had no idea that he wasn't straight. However, his sexuality didn't ordain the abuse I knew he was going through in that terrible place, and I told her that. She didn't seem to care. She had her blinders on and went on and on about a bunch of BS. So I hung up on her and went to get my son, no questions asked and no hesitation. I just hate that I found out as late as I did.
But, we slowly rebuilt our bond and I am beyond proud to call that boy over there my son. He's been through so much, yet he keeps his head held high and keeps pushing forward. He doesn't let what happened to him define him but rather he lets it motivate him and I really respect that.
Q: What was your reaction to meeting Addison for the first time after he and Tyler became official?
A: to be honest, I wanted to not like him after Tyler told me able the whole ordeal with that li'l girl and what she was threatening to do to them. However, as I really got to know Addison and see how he cared about Tyler, I could see that what had happened really affected him and that he really had a lot of love for my boy. And after the craziness of what happened with Dorothea and how quickly Addison came to his defense and comforted him squashed any doubts that I had left. (Looks over the Madison and Noah) You two raised him right.
Madison: Thanks, Malcolm. You did too.
Q: How did it feel when you got the official notice from the court about Dorothea trying to get custody of Tyler?
A: I felt crushed. It was like she was trying to take the air out of my lungs. It was awful. But I knew that I had to fight for my children and not let that monster stay in their lives for another second. I'm just blessed that I won the custody battle and that my children never have to fear being abandoned or condemned or belittled ever again.
Jordan: Alright, well to wrap things up–
Ian (now on the stage): Hey. I thought I would get to answer a question or two.
Jordan: Ian–
Ian: Please?
Jordan (sighs and looks at her watch): Fine but we have to make it quick. We're already over time as it is.
Ian: Ooh okay. I'll be quick.
Q: Where can I get an Ian because I want one!
A: Well, you can–
Lelani (now entering the stage and grabbing Ian's hand): You can't have him, he's mine. (Seals it by kissing Ian on the lips and the audience, including Tyler and Addison, clap enthusiastically)
Lelani (pulling away and wiping her lower lip): Keep that in mind, okay?
Ian (softly to Lelani): God, I love it when you get possessive.
Q: How did you feel when Addison revealed everything he and Tyler were going through, and how did you support him during that time?
A: I just listened to him, man. Any time he needed someone to listen, I was there. Any time he needed a distraction, me, the boys, and Lelani were there. When he felt like destroying the world, I was there to talk him down. It's a hard thing to watch someone you love go through something that traumatic and hard, but it's also beautiful when they come out of it stronger.
Jordan: That was beautifully said. Leaving on that note, it's a wrap.
Ian: Great, now Addison and Tyler can show us around the city.
Addison: I would Ian, but it's like 15 degrees outside and I don't want your first impression of Chicago to be bad.
Tyler: What if we host a dinner instead?
Addison: Ooh, yeah I like that idea.
Noah: Oh yes, your father and I are starving.
Malcolm: Add me to the list!
Jordan: Me too!
Tyler: Jordan, you're literally eating while you're writing this.
Jordan: I know, but I'm eating broke college kid food and I want a real Italian dinner. I think I deserve it after, I don't know, writing you all into existence.
Tyler: fair enough
Jordan: But before we go, what do you guys have to say?
Lelani: Don't do drugs and always wear your seatbelt?
Jordan: No...I mean yes, but that's not what I'm talking about.
Addison (remembers): Thank you for reading!
Tyler: we hope you enjoyed our story and that it can be used as inspiration for others
Madison: You are valued.
Noah: You are beautiful.
Malcolm: And you are loved. And if you don't feel loved, know that Jordan loves you!
Lelani: If you or someone you know is struggling with LGBTQ+-related issues...
Ian: call the Trevor Project at 212-695-8650, or any other hotline that might better fit your needs.
Tyler: we love you and hope that you'll stick around to see some of the previous events in this story from my point of view. Thank you all again, and remember that love is love!
Jordan (whispering): I know that I said I'd let her answer some questions, but she's not worth my time or energy because she sucks. M'kay, bye.