iv. insecurities
Matilda Winters had terrible nightmares. They made her night's sleep troubled. Hogwarts wove in and out of her dreams. Though it was not the magnificent, shining castle that the girl has known as home for many years now. Instead, the building lay in ruins. Set aflame. There were screams and sounds of collapsing stone. Lights flew past just nearly missing her body.
And she felt it again. That weight lay heavy on her chest, crushing it with heavy blocks of stone and nerves. A bad feeling lay deep in her stomach, eating its way through her. Matilda shot awake, her chest heaving and hair stuck to her sweating neck. She looked around the room. Everything was the same, everyone was alright. So, why did she feel like this?
She fell back into her pillow with a sigh. There would be no more sleep for her. Matilda was now awake, getting an early start for the day. She slid from under the scratchy covers on her bed and made her to the very small, and old bathroom attached to the room. She splashed cold water over her face, and looked into the mirror, gripping the sides of the marble sink edges. Her eyes bore into her reflection, willing herself to get a grip. And she did, finally leaving the bathroom to enter the dark bedroom with only the tip of her wand shining some kind of light.
Matilda dressed quietly. Quickly tucking the dark blue shirt she pulled from her chest into the skirt she'd chosen for the day. Carefully, Matilda took her trunk and Pluto's cage and exited the room. Quietly latching the door behind her. She carried her shoes in the other hand, deciding to put them on when she was able to get to the first floor.
She sat on an old, dusty couch in the drawing-room. She sips from the small teacup steaming across from her. She props her feet on the dry-rotted table across from her when she goes to buckle the straps of her heeled Mary Janes. Just when both feet are placed firmly back onto the ground, someone else joins her on the couch.
It was Sirius. Matilda could tell from his long, tired sigh. He dressed in his normal ragged, yet somehow seemingly expensive attire. His long hair washed and pushed back from his face, allowing his bright, almost grey, eyes to show.
Matilda blinked, not knowing what to say, or how to greet him.
"Heading back to Hogwarts," he commented, a distant smile on his lips, as if his mind had gone back to the days he spent in the castle. "I am sure you're excited."
Matilda nodded, "Yes, very."
She offered him a tight-lipped smile before turning back ahead, watching the front door.
His eyebrows furrowed, she was being distant, more so than usual, "Is something bother you, Matilda?"
His worry sounded genuine.
"Just tired," she told him.
Sirius sighed again. And Matilda felt his body shift beside her on the old furniture. He'd adjusted himself so that his body faced her, and not the front of the dusty room. He watched her, studying her face, and the way she sat, straight up and down, and with no eye contact. He also took note of the dark circles that had begun to take place under Matilda's familiar, bright blue eyes.
"Yes, well, this house is old, and with all the noise I'm sure anybody would find it hard to sleep in," he said, trying to reason, but Matilda shook her head.
"No," she whispered. "It isn't the house... it's the dreams," Matilda sighed, looking up at Sirius. "I have nightmares and sometimes they're so real and I can't wake up from them," she sucked in a shaky breath. "And they scare me, so much."
Matilda did not go into detail about the dreams that terrorize her in the night. She didn't want him to think of her any differently, or see her as weak or vulnerable, because she was not. She was just afraid and drained.
"I have dreams too," Sirius told Matilda, his face was grim, eyes shadowed. "They sometimes take me prisoner and refuse to release me."
"Do you dream of Rosaline?"
She sucked in a deep breath. Matilda had not meant to bring her up. But it was too late to take back her question, so, she waited to see if Sirius would answer.
It took him a long while, but eventually, he nodded.
"Yes," Sirius admitted. "But when I close my eyes and see Rose, it's not a nightmare or a prison sentence," he began to smile. "She's the better part of my dreams."
Matilda nodded, "I'm sorry that I asked," she told him, meaning it. Despite wanting to know everything about this girl from everyone's past. "It's just, this girl, her name seems to follow me everywhere, even in my own and... I don't even know who she is, or was."
"Your dad?" Sirius asked.
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, "Your dad ─"
"Has told me very little," Matilda interrupted him.
Sirius was silent for another long moment before finally nodding his head. He sighed, and his eyes looked straight at Matilda.
"Her name was Rosaline Addington," said Sirius. "I'd known her since our first year at Hogwarts, she'd been sorted into Gryffindor. We weren't actually friends for a while, she was off usually with Marlene McKinnon and your dad," Matilda was on the edge of her seat, taking in every word of Sirius' recount. "It wasn't until my fifth year at Hogwarts that I really got to know Rosaline."
"What was she like?" asked Matilda.
Having been compared to the woman, she was curious to know what it was that made them so similar to one another.
"Rose was fire and she could not be extinguished," he laughed, but that answer only confused Matilda. "She was enraging, complicated, cynical, and a bit mean if I'm being honest," Sirius told her, and Matilda had to admit that even she recognized a few of those qualities within herself. "Rosaline managed to keep everyone around guessing. No one really knew all of her, and I think that's the way she preferred it."
"No one?" asked Matilda, her dark eyebrows furrowed. "Not even you or my dad got to know her fully?"
Sirius took in a deep breath. He thought carefully about his next words, choosing them carefully, "Rosaline had been made of layers," he told Matilda, nodding to the vase that sat beside the door, littered with dead flowers, except for one lonesome, bright red rose. "Certain people got different layers of her. If you were lucky you might get a glimpse of one or two more, but no one ever had them all."
"So how'd you know her then? I mean, if she never showed you..."
"I knew enough," Sirius smiled. "The parts that she gave me or let me see of her, it was enough for me."
"How'd she die?"
It was a question that took Sirius by surprise. Matilda wasn't planning to ask the question, not wanting to bring back any more bad memories, but then she remembered who she was. Matilda Winters never did shy away from the difficult questions. Knowledge had always been her strongest power.
"She was killed."
It wasn't enough. Matilda wanted to know more. But Sirius didn't offer anything else. And so, Matilda decided that for now, she could make do with the information she had.
"She put on this face of bravery," said Sirius, surprising Matilda, she'd thought he was finished. "Rosaline didn't want anyone to think her weak, she was confident, I never watched her bend to anyone. And that made her a lot of enemies," he wasn't going to tell Matilda how or why she was killed, but he would allow tidbits of information that explained what led to it. "I see so much of her in you, Matilda."
Matilda opened her mouth to speak.
"I believe everyone can see it."
Rueban Winters spoke before his daughter could get the chance. Standing at the entrance behind the couch they sat on, leaning against the arch with his arms folded over his chest, Matilda turned, looking at her dad. His hair had been gelled back. His dark brown eyes twinkled when they looked at her. But his face was sullen and more angular than usual. He seemed so regal at times, almost unlike himself.
He'd once told Matilda that he was raised in a strict household. A family that was obsessed with presentation and perception. He had been raised ─ molded into perfection. The way he would speak or even sit had been practiced from boyhood and drilled into the depths of his core memory. It'd become a part of him that he had to unlearn. But no matter how far he came away from the boy who'd been made to be the perfect son, he couldn't escape him. Parts of that boy were embedded into him.
In times like this, Matilda could see what her father was talking about.
She smiled, "morning."
Rueban's features softened at the sound of his daughter's voice, and he too smiled. Uncrossing his arms, he made way into the room, stopping to stand opposite the two sitting similarly on the couch.
"I had just been on my way to collect you from your room," he told Matilda.
"What for?"
"To leave," he says. "I'm taking you to King's Cross, we have to travel in smaller groups," Rueban goes on to explain, though from his tone Matilda can see that he didn't think this would be necessary. "A safety precaution from Alastor, that crazy bat," Rueban turns to look at Sirius, "Molly is about to leave with Harry, Sirius, if you're still wanting to defy orders and go with him."
Sirius's weight lifted off the couch, "Thanks for the warning," he pats Rueban on the shoulder as he moves past him, only to turn back to Matilda, "Perhaps another day we'll finish this talk of ours, yes?"
Matilda nodded. Sirius turned back to Rueban and nodded before saying his goodbye and exiting the room for good this time.
"Are you ready then?" Rueban asks once he and Matilda were left alone.
"Are we apparating?"
"We are," her dad nods.
Matilda smiles excitedly, taking her dad's hand. She waits eagerly as he pulls his wand from his back pocket and flicks it over his head. Suddenly they're taken from their spot on the stained carpet floor and tossed into a time wormhole. Seconds later Matilda lands dizzily on her feet, her heels clicking against the concrete lift. She still held onto Pluto's cage as she blinked away her dizziness and steadied herself on her feet.
Looking beside her, Matilda found her dad to be perfectly fine.
The Hogwarts Express stood, belching sooty steam over a platform packed with departing students and their families. Matilda smiled, inhaling the familiar smell, and felt her spirits soar. Finally, she'd be where she belonged.
"I hope the others make it in time," Mrs. Weasley's anxious tone could be heard, walking onto the platform with Harry and Sirius, in dog form, not far behind her.
"Nice dog, Harry!" called a tall boy with dreadlocks.
"Thanks, Lee," Harry nodded with a smile, as Sirius wagged his tail frantically.
"Here he comes," said Rueban, staring behind him at the wrought-iron arch spanning the platform, through which new arrivals would come. "Alastor's come with the luggage."
A porter's cap pulled low over his mismatched eyes, Moody came limping through the archway pushing a cart full of their trunks.
"All okay," he muttered to Mrs. Weasley, Rueban, and Tonks. "Don't think we were followed..."
Seconds later, Mr. Weasley emerged onto the platform with Ron and Hermione. They had almost unloaded Moody's luggage cart when Fred, George, and Ginny turned up with Lupin.
"No trouble?" growled Moody.
"Nothing," said Lupin.
"I'll still be reporting Sturgis to Dumbledore," said Moody. "That's the second time he's not turned up in a week. Getting as unreliable as Mundungus."
"Well, look after yourselves," said Lupin, shaking hands all round. He walked by Rueban and Matilda, offering a grin and handshake to each. Lupin reached Harry last and gave him a clap on the shoulder. "You too, Harry. Be careful."
"Yeah, keep your head down and your eyes peeled," said Moody, talking to them all. "And don't forget... careful what you put in writing. If in doubt, don't put it in a letter at all."
"It's been great meeting all of you," said Tonks, hugging Matilda, Hermione, and Ginny, and as expected, Matilda tensed under her embrace. "We'll see you soon, I expect."
A warning whistle sounded; the students still on the platform started hurrying onto the train.
"Should it fall onto deaf ears if I ask you to try and stay out of trouble this year?" asked Rueban with a long, knowing sigh as he turns back to face his daughter. Smiling, Matilda nodded. At this point, after everything, she found no reason to lie. "Well, I'll request this instead," he laughed, though appreciating her honesty. "Be safe, Matilda. Listen to your instincts."
"I love you, dad," she whispered before wrapping her arms around his waist and snuggling her face into his chest.
Rueban held his daughter close, cherishing the moment he had with her. Neither of them spoke on it, but both knew deep down that this moment could be their last. Rueban would do everything to make it possible that it would not, but neither could guarantee it.
"I love you more," he kissed the top of his daughter's dark hair.
They stepped back from one another, neither knowing what to say and Matilda not wanting to move. Every other year had been so easy for her to step onto the train. But something was different about this time.
"Quick, quick..." said Mrs. Weasley distractedly, hugging everyone at random, and catching Matilda twice. "Write, be good, and if you've forgotten anything we'll send it on...." she continued rounding them up like cattle and shooing them away from the platform. "Onto the train, now hurry..."
For one brief moment, the great black dog reared onto its hind legs and placed its front paws on Harry's shoulders, but Mrs. Weasley shoved Harry away toward the train door hissing, "For heaven's sake act more like a dog, Sirius!"
"See you!" Harry called out of the open window as the train began to move, while Ron, Hermione, Matilda, and Ginny waved beside him. The figures of Rueban, Tonks, Lupin, Moody, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley shrank rapidly but the black dog was bounding alongside the window, wagging its tail; blurred people on the platform were laughing to see it chasing the train, and then they turned the corner, and Sirius was out of sight.
Hermione looked out the window with a worried expression, "he shouldn't have come with us."
"Oh lighten up," said Ron, rolling his eyes. "He hasn't seen daylight for months, poor bloke."
"Ron's right," said Matilda. "The man is nearly as pale as a ghost."
"Well," said Fred, clapping his hands together. "Can't stand around chatting all day, we've got business to discuss with Lee. See you later." And he and George disappeared down the corridor to the right.
The train was gathering still more speed so that the houses outside the window flashed past and they swayed where they stood.
"Shall we go and find a compartment, then?" Harry asked those left standing with him.
Ron and Hermione exchanged looks.
"Er," said Ron.
Harry watched as his friends struggled awkwardly to find their words. Growing tired, Matilda stepped forward, pushing past both, Hermione and Ron, rolling her eyes. If they couldn't tell him then she would.
"We have to go to the prefect carriage," she told Harry, seeing no reason to lie or become awkward around him. It'd only make things worse.
Harry was already feeling left out. He didn't need them acting as if he couldn't be informed of their whereabouts. They shouldn't start acting any differently with him. Ron wasn't even looking at Harry; he seemed to have become intensely interested in the fingernails on his left hand.
"I don't think we'll have to stay there all journey," Hermione added quickly, finally speaking up. "Our letters said we just get instructions from the Head Boy and Girl, and then we'll patrol the corridors from time to time."
"Okay," said Harry. "Well, I-I might see you later, then."
"Yeah, definitely," said Ron, casting a shifty, anxious look at Harry."It's a pain having to go down there, I'd rather - but we have to - I mean, I'm not enjoying it, I'm not Percy," he finished defiantly.
"I know you're not," said Harry and he grinned. But as Hermione and Ron dragged their trunks off toward the engine end of the train, Harry seemed as though he was suffering a loss.
Matilda lingered a moment longer, standing back with Harry. She smiled at him, reaching out to take his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. He looked back at her, trying to force a smile, but it was not convincing Matilda.
"Harry, you aren't losing us," she told him, already knowing how he was thinking. "Especially not me. I'm still the same Matilda that you've known since our second year," Harry nodded, though he continued to look down at his scuffed shoes. "You and Ginny should go and find Luna, she's good company. I'll join you guys soon."
The Prefect's meeting hadn't gone on as long as Matilda thought it might. Once she managed to squeeze into the over-crowded carriage, sitting tightly squished between Hermione and Daisy Morgenstern, the meeting began. It was a simple reading of the rules. Rules that many of them had already known ─ and already broken many times. And it wasn't missed when the recently chosen Head Boy, Roger Davies, kept his eyes on Ron a little longer than usual when expressing the importance of setting an example for the other students by their actions and course work.
Alicia Spinnet, Head Girl, seemed pleased with the new group of prefects. She congratulated Hermione and Ron, managing to keep the shock off her face when she shook his hand. Though everyone seemed surprised to see Draco Malfoy sitting amongst everyone. Scoffing and grinning, he sat cockily beside fellow Slytherin and friend, Daisy.
Not Matilda though. Though she might have rathered to see Blaise Zabini as the fifth-year prefect for the Slytherin house, it wasn't surprising that Draco had been picked. His grades weren't the worst among the other students in his year. And as much as Matilda hated to admit it, he was a leader to many of his group of friends. If she didn't know him prior Matilda might have plucked his name from the bunch as well.
Roger Davies kept his two prefects back. Matilda and Anthony Goldstein. He shook each of their hands, congratulating them on their achievements. Just as Alicia did with the prefects from her own house. Though, unlike Alicia, Roger Davies seemed not a bit surprised by either pick from his house.
The compartment door slammed shut, echoing throughout the empty corridor, turning Matilda faced a red-faced Ron, shaking his head, "Bloody hell," he grumbled to no one, untucking his striped shirt from his corduroy pants. "Not even the Head Girl sees me as a prefect."
"Alicia?" asked Matilda, eyebrows raised high, getting Ron's attention. "Did she say that to you?"
He scoffed, moving to stand opposite of Matilda, leaning against the wall, shaking with the vibrations of the moving train, "Doesn't need to," Ron crossed his arms over his chest. "I saw the look on her face. I know what she was thinking."
"Unless you've recently been given the power of reading minds, I don't think you do know what she's thinking," said Matilda, logically.
"It isn't just Alicia. You saw my mum's face when she found out, yeah? Gobsmacked," said Ron, chuckling bitterly. "My brothers don't think I deserve this. Hermione didn't even think I'd be getting a letter. You seem to even have reservations about me being a prefect. Not smart enough for you, I assume."
Matilda furrowed her eyebrows. She was stunned. She didn't know how Ron had come to such conclusions about her own thoughts on him. Especially when he hadn't even bothered to ask how she felt about it. Or bring it up to her at all.
If she were to be completely honest, Matilda would admit that Ron might not have been her first thought when choosing a prefect amongst the Gryffindor boys. But neither would Harry. If she'd been made to choose, she thinks she might have thought of someone like Dean Thomas. Intelligent and good-natured, mostly stays out of trouble. He'd been a fine choice for prefect.
But thinking that does not mean Matilda thought Ron undeserving. He too had qualities that would make him a fine prefect.
"I have said nothing unkind to you regarding your awarded position, Ron," said Matilda, eyes wide. "I have congratulated you, as well as spoken in your favor."
"Means nothing," he shrugged, looking at the ground, not being able to meet Matilda's gaze. "I already know what you think of me," again, his words only made Matilda more confused. She hadn't the slightest clue of what she's done wrong.
"Honestly, Ron, what have I done to upset you so much?" she asked him, racking her brain for something she did or said that might have offended him enough to set him off like this. "I mean if I said something it was completely by accident. Sometimes I say things and don't realize I've hurt people," she told him. "I'm still learning to have more regard in my choice of words."
Ron shook his head, "You didn't say anything," he told her, and Matilda furrowed her eyebrows. "You didn't say anything..."
"That makes absolutely no─"
Matilda groaned running her hands along her face before lifting her head again and looking at Ron. Her entire demeanor had changed ─ hardened, "Fine," she told him shortly with a meaningless shrug. "I don't care anymore, Ron, because it is not my job to coddle you when you're feeling insecure about yourself."
Matilda's mouth tightened into a thin line, she glared at Ron before turning and starting down the shaking corridor. But Ron's voice made her stop.
"And yet you've got no problem coddling Harry though, right?"
"How dare you!"
Turning on her heel she stomped back toward Ron, unable to even finish her sentence because of the fury inside her. Her two hands pushed hard against Ron's chest, though he barely stumbled backward.
"You do not get to talk about Harry to me," Matilda told him, her hands shaking from the anger that coursed through her veins. "Not when you wouldn't be able to even fathom what it is between us."
She should have chosen better words. Matilda hadn't known how Ron would take what she just said to him. It meant two different things to either of them. But even if she had realized how Ron would take her words, it'd be too late to take them back. He'd heard them and they only assisted in confirming the suspicions in his head.
"Perhaps you should be dating him then."
"Well, it would be easier."
Matilda did not wish to entertain Ron any longer. She was already so angry with him. And hurt by him. But she would not let her feel guilty for something she did not do. Those were his own insecurities and it was his job to deal with them. She believed it childish of him to want anyone else to be there for constant reassurance.
She had her own handful of insecurities. But Matilda did not set off to be assured by anyone else. She did not make her own problems anyone else's. They were dealt with by her. She coddled her own ego. She found ways to overcome whatever she was feeling insecure about. Matilda refused to be weak and depend on anyone else for the very things that made her vulnerable.
Ron showed did not turn up for another five minutes after Matilda, by which time she'd managed to talk herself down from the pent-up rage inside her. She sat beside Harry and Luna who had been too busy swapping Chocolate Frogs to notice Matilda's reddened cheeks and shaking hands.
"I'm starved," said Ron, grabbing a Chocolate Frog from Harry and throwing himself into the seat across from him. He didn't even look up at Matilda as he ripped open the wrapper and bit off the Frog's head.
In fact, Ron acted as if nothing at all had happened. He was as nonchalant as ever, making usual conversation. Matilda felt slightly hurt, but mostly angry by this.
"Well, there are two fifth-year prefects from each House," said Hermione, looking thoroughly disgruntled. "Boy and girl from each."
"And guess who is a Slytherin prefect?" said Ron with his eyes closed and leaned back into the seat.
"Malfoy," said Harry, looking as if his worst nightmare had come true.
"Course," said Ron bitterly, stuffing the rest of the Frog into his mouth and taking another.
"And Daisy Morgenstern," said Hermione, relieved. "At least she'll be fair, and maybe be able to keep Malfoy in check."
Matilda shook her head, "It's not Daisy's job to be Malfoy's keeper."
"Who's Hufflepuff?" Harry asked.
"Ernie Macmillan and Hannah Abbott," said Ron thickly.
"And Anthony Goldstein for the Ravenclaw boy," said Matilda.
"Parvati Patil and Anthony are a couple now, I hear," said a high-pitched voice from beside Matilda. "Harry, you went to the Yule Ball with Parvati Patil."
Everyone turned to look at Luna Lovegood, who was gazing unblinkingly at Harry over the top of The Quibbler. He nodded.
"Yeah, I know I did," he said, looking mildly surprised.
"She didn't enjoy it very much," Luna informed him. "She doesn't think you treated her very well, because you wouldn't dance with her. I don't think I'd have minded," she added thoughtfully, "I don't like dancing very much."
Matilda smiled. It was difficult to not laugh at the look on Harry's face.
Luna retreated behind The Quibbler again. Ron stared at the cover with his mouth hanging open for a few seconds, then looked around at Ginny, still avoiding Matilda, for some kind of explanation, but Ginny had stuffed her knuckles in her mouth to stop herself from giggling.
"We're supposed to patrol the corridors every so often," he told Harry and Neville, "And we can give out punishments if people are misbehaving. I can't wait to get Crabbe and Goyle for something..."
"You're not supposed to abuse your position, Ron!" said Hermione sharply.
"Yeah, right, because Malfoy won't abuse it at all," said Ron sarcastically.
"So you're going to descend to his level?"
"No, I'm just going to make sure I get his mates before he gets mine."
"For heaven's sake, Ron -"
"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. "I . . .must . . . not . . . look . . . like . . . a . . . baboon's . . . backside. . . ."
Everyone laughed, but nobody laughed as loud as Luna. She let out a scream of mirth that caused Hedwig to wake up and flap her wings indignantly and Crookshanks to leap up into the luggage rack, hissing. Even Matilda flinched, despite knowing this would happen. She laughed so hard that her magazine slipped out of her grasp, slid down her legs, and onto the floor.
"That was funny!"
Her prominent eyes swam with tears as she gasped for breath, staring at Ron. Utterly nonplussed, he looked around at the others, who were now laughing at the expression on Ron's face.
"Are you taking the mickey?" said Ron, frowning at her.
Matilda rolled her eyes, "She thinks it's funny, Ron, stop it."
She knew Luna would not ever intentionally make fun of anyone.
"Baboon's . . . backside!" she choked, holding her ribs.
Everyone else was watching Luna, but Matilda who followed the curious gaze of Harry to the magazine on the floor. Suddenly he dove for it. Upside down it had been hard to tell what the picture on the front was, but Harry and Matilda both realized, it was a cartoon of Cornelius Fudge, a fairly bad cartoon. Matilda only recognized it was him because of the lime-green bowler hat. One of Fudge's hands was clenched around a bag of gold; the other hand was throttling a goblin. The cartoon was captioned: How Far Will Fudge Go to Gain Gringotts?
Beneath this were listed the titles of other articles inside the magazine. Matilda read them. All unfamiliar. Luna normally sent copies of every new Quibble release. She hadn't sent this one.
CORRUPTION IN THE QUIDDITCH LEAGUE: How the Tornados Are Taking Control
SECRETS OF THE ANCIENT RUNES REVEALED
SIRIUS BLACK: Villain or Victim?
"Luna?" Matilda snatched the magazine from Harry's hands, "Can we have a look at this?" she asked, and Luna nodded, still gazing at Ron, breathless with laughter.
Harry took the magazine back, opening it and scanning the index. He found the page he was looking for and turned excitedly to the article.
This too was illustrated by a rather bad cartoon; in fact, Matilda might not have been able to guess that it was supposed to be Sirius if it hadn't been captioned. Sirius was standing on a pile of human bones with his wand out. The headline on the article read:
SIRIUS - Black As He's Painted?
Notorious Mass Murderer OR Innocent Singing Sensation?
Matilda read the headline several times before she was convinced there'd been a misunderstanding. Since when had Sirius been a singing sensation? She looked to Harry, wondering if he'd been told anything like this, but he too seemed confused by the bold lettering.
For fourteen years Sirius Black has been believed guilty of the mass murder of twelve innocent Muggles and one wizard. Black's audacious escape from Azkaban two years ago has led to the widest manhunt ever conducted by the Ministry of Magic. None of us has ever questioned that he deserves to be recaptured and handed back to the dementors.
BUT DOES HE?
Startling new evidence has recently come to light that Sirius Black may not have committed the crimes for which he was sent to Azkaban. In fact, says DorisPurkiss, of 18 Acanthia Way, Little Norton, Black may not even have been present at the killings.
"What people don't realize is that Sirius Black is a false name," says Mrs. Purkiss. "The man people believe to be Sirius Black is actually Stubby Boardman, lead singer of the popular singing group the TheHobgoblins, who retired from public life after being struck in the ear by a turnip at a concert in Little Norton Church Hall nearly fifteen years ago. I recognized him the moment I saw his picture in the paper. Now, Stubby couldn't possibly have committed those crimes, because on the day in question he happened to be enjoying a romantic candlelit dinner with me. I have written to the Minister of Magic and am expecting him to give Stubby, alias Sirius, a full pardon any day now."
Harry finished reading and stared at the page in disbelief. Perhaps it was a joke, he thought, perhaps the magazine often printed spoof items. He flicked back a few pages and found the piece on Fudge.
Matilda finished reading with widened eyes. She was in complete disbelief. She'd never actually read the magazines that Luna would send her. And for that, she'd normally feel terrible. But they never seemed to be anything more than a joke. She'd skim the titles and deem them unworthy of her time. Reading this now only aided in pricing she'd been right.
Hitting Harry's shoulder, she urged him to find another article. He flipped through the pages again, stopping at the article on Cornelius Fudge.
Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, denied that he had any plans to take over the running of the Wizarding Bank, Gringotts, when he was elected Minister of Magic five years ago. Fudge has always insisted that he wants nothing more than to "cooperate peacefully" with the guardians of our gold.
BUT DOES HE?
Sources close to the Minister have recently disclosed that Fudge's dearest ambition is to seize control of the goblin gold supplies and that he will not hesitate to use force if need be.
"It wouldn't be the first time, either," said a ministry insider. "Cornelius 'Goblin-Crusher' Fudge, that's what his friends call him if you could hear him when he thinks no one's listening, oh, he's always talking about the goblins he's had done in; he's had them drowned, he's had them dropped off buildings, he's had them poisoned, he's had them cooked in pies..."
Harry did not seem to want to read any further, and neither did Matilda. Fudge had many faults but Matilda found it incredibly hard to imagine him ordering goblins to be cooked in pies. They flicked through the rest of the magazine. Pausing every few pages so either he or Matilda could read something. Harry read an accusation that the Tutshill Tornados were winning the Quidditch League by a combination of blackmail, illegal broom-tampering, and torture; an interview with a wizard who claimed to have flown to the moon on a Cleansweep Six and brought back a bag of moon frogs to prove it; and an article on ancient runes, which at least explained to them why Luna had been reading The Quibbler upside down. According to the magazine, if you turned the runes on their heads they revealed a spell to make your enemy's ears turn into kumquats. In fact, compared to the rest of the articles in The Quibbler, the suggestion that Sirius might really be the lead singer of The Hobgoblins was quite sensible.
"Anything good in there?" asked Ron, a quick pointed look at Matilda, before looking at Harry.
"Of course not," said Hermione scathingly, before Harry or even Matilda could answer, "The Quibbler's rubbish, everyone knows that."
"Hermione, stop it," scolded Matilda.
She laughed, "Matilda, you cannot tell me you actually enjoy the bogus articles written in that thing."
"Excuse me," said Luna; her voice had suddenly lost its dreamy quality. "My father's the editor."
"I ─ oh," said Hermione, looking embarrassed. "Well, it's got some interesting ─ I mean, it's quite..."
Matilda rolled her eyes.
"I'll have it back, thank you," said Luna coldly, and leaning forward she snatched it out of Harry's hands, Rifling through it to page fifty-seven, she turned it resolutely upside down again and disappeared behind it, just as the compartment door opened for the third time.
Matilda looked around; she'd been expecting this, but that did not make the sight of Draco Malfoy smirking at them from between his cronies Crabbe and Goyle any more enjoyable.
"Oh for Merlin's sake," grumbled Matilda before Draco could even open his mouth.
Harry rolled his eyes, "What do you want, Malfoy?"
"Manners, Potter, or I'll have to give you a detention," drawled Malfoy, whose sleek blond hair and pointed chin were looking more like his father's. "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments."
"Draco," Daisy sighed in annoyance, shoving him slightly, "knock it off and let's go."
"You've come to gloat about being a prefect with a compartment of three prefects?" Matilda deadpanned.
"You're right, Malfoy," said Harry. "But you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone."
As the cart filled with laughter, Draco's smirk fell into a scowl. Even Daisy looked amused by the comment but suppressed her laugh as she tugged more harshly on the back of the boy's coat. Angrily, he shrugged her off as he glared at each student as they laughed. Suddenly, his lip curled back upwards.
"Tell me, how does it feel being second-best to Weasley, Potter?" he asked.
Matilda's heels did very little to help her height. She noticed this when she stood to face Draco. Though she remained unfazed by the way he towered over her now in height. Draco merely raised his eyebrows as Crabbe and Goyle stepped further back out of the compartment. Daisy stood, unmoving, glancing between the two.
"Give me a reason," she whispered threateningly. "Give me a reason to take that prefect pin of yours and gouge your eyes out with it."
Draco hummed, pretending to be amused, "I seem to have touched a nerve. Well, just watch yourself, Potter, because I'll be dogging your footsteps in case you step out of line."
"Get out!" said Hermione, standing up.
Daisy reached up and grabbed onto the back of the collar of his jacket. Catching him off guard, Daisy agreed aloud that it was time Draco shut his mouth before she gave him his own detention, roughly shoving him out of the train car while taking the time to be polite and shut the compartment door behind her and the blokes she was with.
Matilda watched the compartment door, shaking her head. Still, after all that happened last year, Daisy was still making herself the keeper of Draco Malfoy. Still, she worried about him.
And then she turned to Harry, who already shared knowing looks with Hermione. They, like her, had registered what Malfoy had said and been just as unnerved by it.
"Chuck us another Frog," said Ron, who had clearly noticed nothing.
They could not talk freely in front of Neville, Luna, or Estella Morgenstern. Matilda, Hermione, and Harry exchanged nervous looks with one another and then went about the rest of their time quietly.
The weather remained undecided as they traveled farther and farther north. Rain splattered the windows in a halfhearted way, then the sun put in a feeble appearance before clouds drifted over it once more. When darkness fell and lamps came on inside the carriages, Luna rolled up The Quibbler, put it carefully away in her bag, and took to staring at everyone in the compartment instead.
"Don't stare Luna, people don't like it when you do that," sounded Matilda, tiredly.
Matilda was sitting with her head back on the seat, trying to aid the aching in her head, but it was no use, too much swam in her thoughts for her to be able to shut anything off.
"We'd better change," said Hermione at last.
She and Ron began pinning their prefect badges carefully to their chests. Matilda followed suit, slowly, still tired from the pounding on her skull. She watched as Ron checked how he looked in the black window, and suddenly, it felt as if something inside Matilda's chest cracked open.
At last, the train began to slow down and they heard the usual racket up and down it as everybody scrambled to get their luggage and pets assembled, ready for departure. The prefects were supposed to supervise all this; Ron and Hermione disappeared from their carriage, leaving Harry and the others to look after Crookshanks and Pigwidgeon.
Matilda took Pluto's cage with her when she left the compartment. She stopped only a few doors down, meeting Padma, who had already agreed to watch after the small owl.
Carefully and as patiently as she could, Matilda assisted in leading a group of clueless first years. They shuffled off of the train feeling the first sting of the night air on their faces as they joined the crowd. Matilda smelled the wet ground and pine trees that lined the path down the lake. She looked around, listening for the familiar call of, "Firs' years over here... firs' years..."
But it did not come. Instead, a quite different voice, a brisk female one was calling, "First years line up over here, please! All first-years to me!"
A lantern came swinging toward Matilda and but its light she saw the prominent chin and severe haircut of Professor Grubbly-Plank, the witch who had taken over Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures lessons for a while their previous year.
"Where is Hagrid?" whispered Matilda.
"Who's Hagrid?" asked a first-year who had turned to face her.
Matilda's face scrunched in confusion, "What? No one," she said quickly. "Just mind your business and turn forward, okay?"
The first year did as she said without question. Matilda was impressed. Perhaps being a prefect would come easy to her.
Walking through the crowd, Matilda squinted through the darkness for a glimpse of Hagrid; he had to be here. Seeing Hagrid was one of the things which she had started looking forward to about returning to Hogwarts every year. But there was no sign of him at all.
He can't have left, Matilda assured herself as she assisted in getting her group of first years onto the boats beside the lake.
Once finished Matilda looked around for Harry or Ron and Hermione. She wanted to know what they'd thought about the reappearance of Professor Grubbly-Plank, but neither of them was anywhere that Matilda could see. So she helped a few more straggling, lost students to the lake, making sure they were safe in a canoe before seeing herself off onto the dark rain-washed road outside Hogsmeade station.
"Foul thing! Watch where you're going!" Draco's sharp voice caught the attention of Matilda who'd stopped to talk to a second-year student confused about where they should go.
She looked up. Pansy had joined Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle in harassing some of the younger students so that they could all get their own carriage. The second years look petrified as Crabbe and Goyle shoved them around while Pansy and Draco threw insults at them. Daisy had stopped by the lake, holding the hand of a young girl. She had long, blonde hair, and a face swollen red with tears.
"Hey, I wouldn't be too afraid of them," her own prefect pin glistened under the light of the moon, and the wide, scared eyes of the second-year students turned to her. "In my second year I made the blonde one eat slugs," she said, earning a few nervous chuckles. "The girl who looks like a pug, she isn't even bright enough to hurt you, and the two lardos..." Matilda smirked, "Watch this."
At the mere sight of Matilda reaching to draw her wand, Crabbe and Goyle jumped back. The four Slytherins wore pink faces as Matilda grinned and shrugged her shoulders before carrying on towards the carriages.
They didn't say another word to the second-years while she was within earshot.
Here stood the hundred or so horseless stagecoaches that always took the students above the first years up to the castle. Matilda's eyes roamed over them, searching for someone that she knew, and there, she found Harry.
He stood still before the coaches. Eyes roaming over every one of them. His mouth agape. He didn't know what he was looking at.
"You alright?" Matilda walked up beside him.
Harry opened his mouth to speak, eyebrows drew close together, but before any sound could come out of his mouth, a voice spoke behind them.
"Where's Pig?" said Ron's voice, behind them.
"Luna was carrying him, I think," said Harry, turning quickly, eager to consult Ron. "Where'd you reckon ─"
"─ Hagrid is? I dunno," said Ron, sounding worried. "He'd better be okay..."
Matilda shook the thought of him not being okay out of her head, "Hagrid's fine," she said more to comfort herself. "He's gotta be."
A short distance away, Pansy Parkinson could be heard yelling for Daisy along the sidewalk, insisting they'd leave her if she didn't hurry to the coach that Draco had cleared for them. Daisy, angrily, told them to go on without her, and they did. Seconds later Hermione emerged panting from the crowd.
"Malfoy was being absolutely foul to a first-year back there, I swear I'm going to report him, he's only had his badge three minutes and he's using it to bully people worse than ever," she told them as if they all didn't know already. "Where's Crookshanks?"
"Ginny's got him," said Harry. "There she is..."
Ginny had just emerged from the crowd, clutching a squirming Crookshanks.
"Thanks," said Hermione, relieving Ginny of the cat. "Come on, let's find a carriage before they all fill up."
"I haven't got Pig yet!" Ron said, but Hermione was already heading off toward the nearest unoccupied coach. Harry remained behind with Matilda.
"What are those things, d'you reckon?" he asked Matilda, nodding at the seemingly empty carriages.
"What things?"
"Those horses..."
Matilda nodded, "Oh, you mean ─"
Luna appeared holding Pigwidgeon's cage in her arms; the tiny owl was twittering excitedly as usual.
She smiled, "He's a sweet owl, isn't he?"
Neither of them answered.
"Tilly," said Harry, as he, Matilda, and Luna made for the carriage in which Hermione and Ginny were already sitting in, and Ron was standing outside of, "What are those horse things?"
"What horse things?" asked Ron before Matilda could offer any kind of answer.
"The horse things pulling the carriages!" said Harry impatiently as Ron gave him a perplexed look.
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about - look!"
Harry grabbed Ron's arm and wheeled him about. Matilda watched as Ron stared straight, then looked back at Harry. He had no idea what he was supposed to be seeing because he couldn't see it. Not even Matilda could.
"What am I supposed to be looking at?" he asked.
"At the - there, between the shafts! Harnessed to the coach! It'sright there in front -"
But Ron only continued to look bemused, strangely he looked at Matilda. She shrugged.
"Can't... can't you see them?" he looked at Ron.
"See what?"
"Can you see what's pulling the carriages?"
Ron looked seriously alarmed now.
"Are you feeling all right, Harry?"
Matilda grabbed ahold of Harry's forearm, pulling him toward the already crowded carriage, "He's fine," she told Ron, then she looked up at Harry. "You're fine."
"Shall we get in the carriage, then?" said Ron uncertainly, looking at Harry as though worried about him.
And he should be. It was not considered good to see what Harry now could.
"Threstals, Harry," whispered Matilda, once seated beside him in the carriage. "What you're seeing are called Thestrals."
"You see them?" said Harry desperately, turning to Matilda.
But she shook her head.
"It'll be all right," said a dreamy voice from beside Matilda as Ron climbed into the coach's dark interior. "You're not going mad or anything. I can see them."
"So you?" he asked. "You see them too?"
"Oh yes," said Luna. "I've been able to see them ever since my first day here. They've always pulled the carriages. Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am."
Harry didn't seem so reassured.
"Don't tease him, Luna," said Matilda.
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( matilda's described outfit )
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author's note:
Is this real? Did I really post for Saturn? Wow.
It's been too long guys. I have done Matilda Winters wrong in leaving her story untouched for so long. I hope you guys aren't too mad at me. I promise to try my best to have more regular, or at least more common updates. She is my most beloved creation, after all.
But, I mean, are we excited to be back at Hogwarts? Tell me what you guys are most excited to see, or what you hope to see. I want to hear all your ideas & theories.
& please, don't forget to comment and vote if you're enjoying the chapters.
xoxo