The next few days I keep my ears and eyes wide open for any sign of him. I'm grateful even Chin-Hwa realizes that my little crush needs to be kept a grave secret. We don't go to the practice field again, but on the morning of the fourth day the whole contingent suddenly marches into the courtyard.
Chin-Hwa leaps up and pulls me with her to the doorway. She covers her smile behind her hands, but I can only feel terror as I see how Mr. Kim inspects his soldiers one by one.
Beside me, my friend whispers: "I asked daddy if we could have another guard, so we wouldn't have to wait inside when he needs to go on a trip. He's going to choose one today. Or two. Which one do you want him to choose?"
Choose? I don't even dare to look at the men, too afraid my affection will betray me. I spot Gi-Kyong immediately, but when I quickly move on to the next, I see more familiar faces. My eyebrows rise and I quickly avert my eyes. Did his friends come too? Why would they take that risk?
When her father is done inspecting his troops and seems satisfied, Chin-Hwa skips out the house to stand beside him. He doesn't like her interference, but doesn't scold her in front of the men. She pulls his arm, stands on tiptoes and whispers in his ear while she points in the direction of Gi-Kyong. Oh no, Chin-Hwa, what are you doing?
She makes sure not to look at me and also points out another one. I'm astonished to find it's one of the three friends. Would she have picked him randomly or is he more to her liking? He does have a more robust build, with broad shoulders and a firm chin.
Her father squints at the men, but both stare straight ahead, stand up stiffly and show no sign whatsoever that they care whether they are picked or not. I'm terrified and also very proud that they manage to pull this off.
In the end, Chin-Hwa gets her way and both men are ordered to collect their belongings and report back here. The whole group departs and I'm left with an aching heart.
We don't hear when they get back, because we're stuck in the house all day, learning how to run a household. We're taught by a fierce old lady, how to pour tea the right way, how to read a calendar to determine the right time to conceive a son and how to decide the right amounts of food to be prepared. In the end my head is spinning and by the looks of it, Chin-Hwa is no better.
We go to bed early and I lie awake half the night expecting Gi-Kyong to climb through the window again. I've even cleared the room to make sure he doesn't trip. But he doesn't come and my head throbs in the morning.
It's instantly better, however, when I see him standing on one side of the gate, as soon as Chin-Hwa and I step outside. His friend is on the other side. Both bow to us, but show no signs of familiarity at all.
I was correct about Chin-Hwa's preference, because she quickly slips on her shoes and demurely walks over to Gi-Kyong's friend. I follow at a slower pace and keep my head down.
"Hello," she greets him, "what's your name?"
The young man clears his throat and answers with another bow: "Cha Beak-So, my lady. At your service."
I wonder if that's his real name.
When I chance a peak to my left, Gi-Kyong quickly looks away. It's probably a good thing Mr. Kim and his guard left early this morning. It's very difficult to seem disinterested when he's so close. Chin-Hwa doesn't hide her flirtations at all and I have to pull her away to keep her from harming anyone. However unintentional it may be.
Out of hearing range I say to her: "You have to be careful, Chin-Hwa-agassi, your father will kill them if he discovers your talking to them in such a casual manner."
She waves my concern away. "He's not here now, how will he know?"
I lean towards her, squint my eyes and throw a glance at a washing woman nearby before I whisper: "Théy will not lie to your father, should he ask them."
Her eyes widen in shock when she realizes her mistake. Her fingers press into my arm when she fearfully says: "Oh no, what have I done. I hardly notice the servants, but you are right, my father will question them about the men."
Her words are typical for a spoiled rich kid, as she's raised to ignore anyone lower than her in rank, so I ignore it and sigh. "Don't worry, nothing bad has happened yet. It's only normal you ... we are curious about the newcomers. We ought to get to know them a little, because they're meant to protect us, right?"
She nods fervently and breathes deeply in and out, before she finally lets go of my arm. Behind my back I rub the bruised skin. Chin-Hwa returns to the house, but before we enter she hastily whispers: "We'll get to know them better when we're alone. Lets go for a walk after lunch."
Exasperated I shake my head and follow her inside.
---
The walk takes place as planned. Right after lunch she orders the men to follow us and they do so at a respectable distance. The large mansion of the Kim family lies on the edge of town, so it's not long before we leave the road and find ourselves between trees and shrubbery. There are bush cherry's loaded with ripe, red fruit, but when we reach, they're to high.
Chin-Hwa turns around, but Gi-Kyong is already by my side, stretching an arm. He's way too close, but I press my lips together and allow Chin-Hwa to have fun on my behalf.
Both young men pluck enough for a complete household and when we sit down at the edge of a clearing filled with lavender, which spreads a tantalizing fragrance, Chin-Hwa orders them to sit with us and eat some of the cherry's too.
When the men end up having a spitting contest with the pits, I relax enough to enjoy myself without fearing the wrath of Mr. Kim every second. Gi-Kyong was always a handsome figure, but now, in his military uniform of black and greens, he is irresistible. I'm glad Chin-Hwa is so taken by Beak-So, because I'm afraid I'm not very good at hiding my affection today.
Gi-Kyong is the wise one who urges us to go home at one point. I have no idea how he tells the time, but when we get home, dinner's about to be served. Mr. Kim stands on the porch with a stern expression and his hands clasped behind his back. Both guards bow and take their place beside the gate, while Chin-Hwa cheerfully greets her father and I follow her with my chin down. I can feel his piercing gaze on the back of my head when I'm turning around to place my shoes at the bottom of the stairs.
When my eyes fly over Gi-Kyong, I can see the whiteness of his knuckles and pray he will keep his calm. The rest of the evening passes without any additional excitement.
---
The next morning however, brings my worst nightmare to life, as I hear from a distance how the whole household is in uproar. And when I enter the main room, Chin-Hwa waits for me with a pale face and red rims around her eyes.
As soon as she sees me, she jumps up and grabs my hand. "Oh, Ji-Eun-eonni, I am so terribly sorry, I should never have asked my father to bring them here, you were right to warn me, I was so stupid."
Fear grips my heart and wraps its iron claws around it. No, no, please don't let it be so. "The guard?" I whisper, swaying on my feet.
Crying again, Chin-Hwa says: "He was caught by your window last night, my father locked him up, I don't know what he'll do to him."
My feet give out from under me and I barely catch myself before I hit the ground. Chin-Hwa shrieks. "Ji-Eun-ah, what is wrong? Are you alright?"
"He's not dead?" I know I shouldn't be this relieved. From what Chin-Hwa tells me, he could very well soon be, but for the moment it's all I can think about to remain sane.
My ignorant friend kneels down next to me and takes my trembling hands in hers. "No", her eyes look at me with concern and a little confusion as to why I am this much in distress.
At those two letters, I burst out in tears. Immediately Chin-Hwa panics. "Ji-Eun-ah, why are you crying so? Is it what he did? They caught him before he could do anything, he won't be able to get to you anymore."
Her words have the opposite effect and I rip my hands free to hide my face.
"Ji-Eun-ah, please, stop crying, tell me what is the matter?"
And then I tell her, suddenly I blurt it out: "He's my fiancee."
I no longer care for my own safety, I don't want to live anyway if they're going to kill him. So I cling to Chin-Hwa's arm as I sob: "Your father bought me, from traders who kidnapped me. He bought me to be a companion to you. I am no nobleman's daughter, I was about to get married and they kidnapped me."
I let go of her arm and cry my eyes out while I sway back and forth as if Gi-Kyong has already died. Chin-Hwa doesn't say a word and when I heave and glance her way through glistening tears, I see she sits very still. Her eyes are round and shock is clearly visible. Will she despise me now? If she kicks me out of the house, oh please let me be put in the same jail cell as Gi-Kyong, at least we will be together in the end.