Sometime overnight Friday, I got up to use the bathroom, which woke Brad, which led to him wrapping his arms around me and kissing me when I returned, which led into us having sex. It was natural, it was normal, and it was as passionate as it always was.
Christmas Eve we stayed in our pajamas all day, laid around, and held each other.
"Babe?", Brad asked as I was leaning up against him listening to him breathe.
"Hmmm".
"Can I give you your present now?"
"Yeah. I've got something for you, too".
I jumped up and ran upstairs to dig Brad's hat and whiskey out of my luggage. They weren't wrapped but I knew he wouldn't mind. They were in a bag that he couldn't see through.
I came back downstairs and dropped it in his lap.
He grunted. "Uh, thanks, babe", he said. "That was close", he said, shifting the bag.
I laughed, feeling myself flush. "Sorry", I said.
He opened the bag and put the hat right on.
"Love it", he said with a grin.
He looked so adorable! I felt a surge of affection for and leaned over to give him a kiss.
He pulled out the whiskey. "Is this from the distillery you went to?"
"Yep. Wanna try it?", I asked, jumping up to get him a glass, but he snagged my wrist.
"Sit, babe. I want you to open your gift".
He handed me a little wrapped box. It looked jewelry-sized but I wasn't nervous. We already got the wedding ring out of the way so nothing else he could give me would freak me out now.
I opened it calmly, feeling his gaze upon my face. It was a delicate silver cord bracelet holding a silver disc engraved with a P. It was simple, beautiful, and totally me.
I met his eyes. He was trying to gauge my reaction.
"Brad, I love this", I said, smiling up at him.
He looked relieved.
I picked it up and slid my hand through. He reached over and tightened it for me.
"That's fantastic", I said. "Since it's not loose, I can wear it all the time!"
I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him.
"Love you, baby", he said.
"Love you, too".
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Bre allowed Steve to come with her on Christmas Eve day to watch her older two nephews in a Christmas program at the private school they attended. She did not allow him to touch her again since their baby had moved, and actually cringed away the last time he tried to hug her, which reminded him so much of Paige when she lived there, he didn't dare try again.
He wasn't leaving her alone, though, and she hadn't had any protests about that. Steve had texted both Brad and Paige his progress in staying, and that they had felt the baby move. Brad only replied with a thumbs up while Paige gushed enthusiastically about everything he had said.
Christmas Eve night, Steve made Bre lay down while he made supper because she was looking tired. Since the round ligament pain had rattled him, and because his normally steadfast wife had been shouting and throwing up, he had been watching her very carefully since he returned Friday night. He didn't like what he saw. He saw a great deal of sadness and he knew he was the cause of it. He also saw how tired she was and knew a lot of that was probably emotional exhaustion, also from him.
Steve had cooked for himself for his entire adult life up until Paige, so he could do it no problem. He asked what she wanted and started right in.
After about fifteen minutes in the kitchen, he heard Bre gasp and call out, "Steve!"
He dropped what he was doing and ran to her side. As he hit his knees next to her, she grabbed his hand and thrust it on her belly. He felt the little gentle movements again and his vision blurred with tears.
"Oh, honey", he said, choked up. "That's our baby in there".
The little movements stopped and he composed himself, checking Bre's face. She was watching him with tears in her eyes. He leaned over, gently kissed her forehead, and kept his lips on her head for a moment. He wished she would reciprocate but he couldn't expect her to. Momentarily, he got up and resumed cooking.
At least she called for me, he told himself.
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The morning of Christmas Day, Steve got ready as quickly as possible, and then tried to stay out of Bre's way while also helping. He made egg sandwiches for breakfast, which she seemed to really appreciate, and he started loading the presents into the backseat of the truck as she was curling her hair.
On one of his trips back inside he caught her walking down the stairs. She was wearing a burgundy sweater dress, which was a flattering color on her, and hugged her curves, including the baby belly. She had on black tights and short black boots, and her legs looked long and shapely. Her makeup was perfect and her hair was in waves that framed her beautiful face.
"Oh, honey", he breathed. "You are so beautiful my heart just stopped".
He watched her eyes light up and her cheeks color slightly, giving him a shy smile in return for the compliment, one of her dimples showing, and he finally got it. What Brad had been trying to tell him for the longest time. Bre needed that. She needed the attention, and she needed the compliments, but she needed them to be authentic.
He watched her continue descending and stop at the bottom of the stairs. She glanced at him uncertainly, and he acted on impulse. He wasn't thinking about the fact that they were fighting, that she had kicked him out, that she wasn't wearing her ring, and that he was sleeping on the couch. No, he was thinking that he loved her, that she was his pregnant wife, and that she looked so beautiful he couldn't wait to get his hands on her.
He grabbed her hip with one hand, her face with the other, and planted his mouth on hers like she really did belong to him.
Lo and behold, his wife responded like she did. She kissed him back with one hand on the back of his neck, pulling his face into hers. He slid his tongue against hers and his hand onto her butt, pulling her up against him, and she continued to kiss him back.
He released her face and ran that hand over her breast instead.
Then she was unzipping his jacket without breaking contact from his mouth, and he pulled her sweater dress up enough to pull her tights down. She kicked her shoes off and he squatted down, helping her step out of her tights, then immediately pulling her underwear off, and grabbing both of her hips, planting his mouth right between her legs.
He didn't typically do that, and never while standing in their entryway, but it was right there at face level and he simply couldn't resist. There was really no thought at all behind anything he was doing right now.
She moaned a tiny bit right away and grabbed his hair with both of her hands. He continued doing what he was doing until she pushed him gently away and pulled him to standing.
She undid his belt and took his pants down then started walking backward to the living room as he stepped out of them, pulling him with her. She pushed him to sitting on the couch and he looked up at her expectantly as she sat in his lap and slid right down on him. He had to shut his eyes and lean his head against her chest to will himself not to finish right then. It had been way too long.
She wrapped her legs around his back. They had never been in this position before. He looked up at her as she started moving and he grabbed her hips and helped her. She brought her mouth down to his. He tried to keep his mind on anything else except how amazing she felt, but when she started moaning into his mouth, he lost it.
And, thankfully, so did she! He couldn't believe what had happened! His mind was blown. He had finished at exactly the same time as his wife!
He rested his forehead on her collarbone, listening to her breathe heavily, slightly stunned by the last incredible fifteen minutes.
Then he brought his face back up to hers, said, "I love you", while looking into her eyes, and watched her smile and say it back.
Oh, thank you, God!, he thought, feeling relief and gratitude and an immeasurable amount of happiness.
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Bre was clinging to Steve, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. To say she was overwhelmed was an understatement.
He had kissed her and she automatically responded, no thinking whatsoever, just feeling. Apparently she wasn't the same girl she was two weeks ago. The thing was, she wasn't entirely sure she had even forgiven Steve yet or that she even wanted to work through things with him. She simply wanted him, so she had him, without considering the consequences.
"Steve", she said quietly. "I don't...I don't know what this means. I wasn't thinking at all".
"Me, either", he replied. "I don't care. Doesn't matter. Let's not overthink it and ruin it. That was the best sex I've ever had and I'm not gonna analyze it".
He smiled and kissed her. She nodded and got up, heading to the upstairs bathroom to make herself presentable again.
When she came back down, Steve was done loading the presents, but he had lipstick smeared all over his face still. She laughed out loud.
"Oh, honey, we gotta get rid of the evidence", she laughed, running back upstairs to grab a makeup wipe and carefully cleaning all traces from his face. He looked lighter, happier, relaxed, and she felt the same.
They went into church late, but worship music was still playing, so they weren't that late. As they were walking in, he offered her his arm. She was touched that he was thoughtful enough not to assume possession over her again simply because of what they had done, but instead gave her an opportunity to decide if she wanted to touch him or not.
She took his arm.
They found her sister, Brittany, and squeezed in by her. Steve helped her out of her jacket then lightly rested his hand on the small of her back. Not crushing her up against him like last time but not relinquishing the contact he had re-established. She felt like it was a good balance, and if she were being honest with herself, she probably would have felt hurt had he not wanted to touch her at all.
When the music ended and they sat, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, but again, the contact was light. His arm was mainly on the seat back with only his fingertips resting on her shoulder. It wasn't pushy and it was loving. It was exactly right, and because it was, she rewarded him by leaning up against him, and got a sigh of contentment against the side of her head, causing her stomach to flutter and her heart to swell with love for him.
No, she hadn't forgiven him yet, but Brad was correct in that she still loved him, and now forgiveness seemed within reach.
...........................................................................
Steve was feeling pretty damn hopeful. Bre had cautioned him that what they did hadn't changed anything, and he wouldn't assume it had, but her behavior showed her softening toward him. He wasn't going to push it but he also wasn't going to give up, and he certainly wasn't going to stop touching his lovely wife as much as she would let him.
She responded positively to his tentative touches at church, which encouraged him to keep doing it exactly like that. Not too much pressure but frequent light contact. He had her new ring in his jacket pocket and had to figure out when to give that to her today. He knew it had to be in private but it had to be today. He was leaning toward when they got back home after being at her parents'.
Right now she was helping her mom in the kitchen and he was wrapped up in playing wildly with all of her nieces and nephews.
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On Christmas Day, Brad and I got ready slowly, enjoying each other in every way possible. We did make it over to Andy's by noon but I was barely enthusiastic about it. I'd rather continue to spend time alone with him.
That changed the second we walked in and I saw Gi in her little elf outfit. I teared up and snatched her from my brother, smothering her with kisses and holding her tight. She did actually make a squeak at me and smiled, from which my heart filled to bursting and I could hardly breathe I was so in love with her at that moment.
I sat down with her and effectively shut out everyone else for an unknown amount of time, simply holding her, talking to her, watching her watch me. She was incredibly soothing to the hole in my heart left by Drew's death.
I changed her and held her until she fell asleep, and then Brad's hand was on top of my head.
"You gonna come eat with us, babe?", he asked.
I met his gaze, finally tearing my eyes from Gianna's precious face. He looked a little sad but he gave me a smile. I knew he knew what I was thinking about.
After we ate, I gave Andy the salted caramel whiskey and Kendra the picture frames and Gi's outfit, then I was surprised when Brad got up, went to his jacket, and returned with a small box which he handed to Kendra.
It had the same wrapping paper and looked exactly the same as the box he had given me yesterday! Did he get Kendra a bracelet, too?
Kendra looked at it with a puzzled expression then smiled as she read the tag.
"It's for Gi", she told Andy, as she started opening it.
Inside was a bracelet exactly like mine but with a G on it instead of a P!
"Oh, Brad", I choked out, tearing up. "You are the absolute sweetest man".
"Wait, you didn't pick this?", Kendra asked me.
I shook my head and held out my wrist for her to see my matching bracelet.
Kendra gasped and teared up, too, then stood quickly and gave Brad a hug.
"Oh, you are the sweetest, Uncle Brad!", she exclaimed. "Gianna sure is lucky to have you!"
"Me, too", I said, a tear running down my cheek.
"You're making me look bad, asshole", Andy grumbled.
He got up and left the room then came back with an envelope he dropped into my lap.
"What's this?", I asked.
"Christmas present", he said. "What the fuck you think?"
I opened it and started looking through paperwork, trying to understand what I was seeing.
"Flexible plane tickets you can use the next time you fly for whatever", he explained. "Since you two go back and forth so much".
I cringed inwardly. You have no idea how much back and forth we do, I thought ruefully.
"Thanks, big brother", I said instead. "Love you".
As we drove home, I sent Rev a text that said, "Merry Christmas". I wanted to say more but I knew how he felt about messages, so I kept it to that. I could pretty much guarantee he was alone all day, and that hurt my heart, especially because mine was so full from time with people I loved.
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Christmas was lovely for Bre. It wasn't awkward or awful, as she had worried. It may have been had she not responded to her husband so enthusiastically that morning, but that wasn't the case. So she had a good time, was relaxed, enjoyed her family, and was comfortable around Steve. They opened gifts for their baby together, and Steve even kissed her temple in front of everyone when she teared up over a book Bailey had given her for the baby.
Her dad commented quietly as they were leaving, "It's good to see you smiling. Forget about all the things that make you mad, and just love him, honey. That's all you gotta do. That's all he wants to do for you. He's a good man. You know he is. Let him try".
"I'm working on it, Dad", she assured him.
Steve was silent as they drove home. He drove up to the front door, parked, and told her to go inside and let him bring everything in. She did so, letting Maggie out. She took her shoes and jacket off then plugged in their Christmas tree and sat carefully on the couch. She was pretty tired and her hip was actually hurting a bit. Thankfully, she hadn't had any more pains since Friday, though.
Steve brought everything inside and asked where she wanted it.
"Baby's room, please", she told him.
He came back down, let Maggie in, and took off his jacket. She was watching him, and he was moving slowly. He took something out of the inside of his jacket and started walking toward her, looking nervous.
He knelt down in front of her. She noticed he was on one knee, and was confused what he was doing, but then she saw he had a small wrapped present and an envelope in his hand.
"Bre, one year ago today I asked you to marry me. I still feel the same way about you now as I did then, except I love you even more. I need to give this to you today for that reason but I want you to know I don't expect you to give me an answer right now. No pressure. I'll give you your privacy. If you don't want to talk about it, just head on up to bed and I'll leave ya alone".
He kissed her on her forehead, said, "I love you", handed her the things, and walked into the kitchen.
"Open the box first, then the envelope", he called over his shoulder.
The box definitely was the size of a jewelry box. She had a sneaking suspicion this was a new ring and she really wasn't sure how she would handle it.
Feeling apprehensive, she slowly took the wrapping off and opened the box. When she saw it, she gasped and immediately teared up.
She loved it! It was beautiful! The other ring had been, also, but it was more generically beautiful, like anyone (other than Paige) might have loved it. This new one might have been created for her alone. It was still gold, which she preferred, but the center stone was light yellow, though still a diamond she was pretty sure, and the rest of the band was covered in small brown stones, as was the identical wedding band attached to it. The bands were wider than the last ring, but the center stone was about the same size. However, it was square instead of a tear drop shape, and she actually preferred this shape, too. It felt very fall, more solid versus the other ring felt more delicate, and it was colors she typically wore.
He put a lot of thought into this.
She tried it on her finger. It fit perfectly and it looked perfect.
Then she opened the envelope. Steve had written her a letter in his slanted quick printing.
Bre,
When I bought the first ring, I was buying it with the thought of my future wife in my head, not of anyone specific, not even Paige, who was the person I intended it for. Later, I talked myself into believing it was fate and I had gotten it for you.
Clearly, I was wrong.
This time, I thought about you when I picked it and I really hope I know you as well as I think I do. This one felt right. You wear fall colors year round, it's your favorite season, and it's the season we met in and were married in. This ring reminded me of all that.
The other ring was pretty, but this one is more you.
If I'm wrong again, about any of this, I'm sorry. I had to try for you. I will never give up trying.
A year ago today I asked you to marry me with the wrong ring. Today I'm asking you to stay married to me with hopefully the right one.
Will you stay married to me? If you say yes, I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to be good enough for you.
I love you,
Steve
Bre's eyes were swimming with tears. This was so sweet, so honest, and it really did show he knew her. He could pay attention to her when he tried! He could get the details right when he wanted to!
She heard nothing from the kitchen. She assumed he was waiting on pins and needles to see how she would react.
She wanted to say yes, to forgive him, to move forward, she simply wasn't sure how to do that, so she got up to tell him exactly that.
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Rev spent Christmas in his hotel room exercising and eating Chinese food. Tim and his family invited him, along with the other team members, over for a meal on Christmas Eve, which Rev did go to, but he vehemently declined Lia's urging to come back over on Christmas Day.
He wasn't family, he didn't want to disrupt Tim's family time, and he couldn't remember the last holiday he spent with anyone, so it really didn't hurt him to be alone.
His bright spot was Paige texting him. She didn't say anything other than 'Merry Christmas', but he would have cringed if she had said more. She knew how important it was to keep documented information minimal between the two of them. He was thankful that she had been thinking about him, and knew she was with Brad, so she had risked his anger to reach out. That meant it was important to her, and that touched his heart.
He replied, Happy Christmas, and also left it at that. He would give her a call while the wanker was at work tomorrow.
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