When reality seems more beautiful than your dreamland, you don't want to sleep anymore. That's what I did last night, kept myself awake, staring at my dream that was sleeping beside me.
Before, I will never accept this. But now I don't want to deny. I for so long kept Gashmir in my heart. Wondering if I ever would have a chance with this handsome husband of mine. When married I was beyond excited to start my life with him. That he crushed so easily. Followed by my disliking towards him.
But for some time, I dreamt about my life with him.
Now that we are taking chances I can't be any more happy than I am. I stared openly, shamelessly, without a fear of getting caught. I want to live this moment with him beside me.
Softly caressing his face, I soothed his hair afterwards. He stirred in his sleep making me stop. What if he goes back to his rude self and kicks me out at this hour. I wouldn't be more humiliated. I gulped the insecurities, continuing what I was doing.
When Gashmir opened his eyes and stared with the hooded eyes, I stilled. No this can't happen.
However, when Gashmir encircled his arms around me, shifting me closer to him, relief washed over me. Placing a kiss over my hair he murdered, "Trouble falling asleep?!"
I closed my eyes, reeling in the sweetness of the moment. This isn't a dream, right? Gashmir kissing me, showing his care for me, hugging me to sleep. Letting me sleep beside him on his bed.
"Keya?!" When Gashmir called, I found him waiting for my reply.
"No. Just assuring myself that this isn't a dream." Without thinking, I mumbled in his chest, hugging him tight. Uh?! Why do I feel shy suddenly?!
His chest rumbled as he chuckled. And that made me even more flustered. I wasn't meant to hear. Talk about thinking aloud.
I felt disappointed when Gashmir untangled me. However I didn't get a chance to weep when I felt my lips embraced by his. The senses alert, I feel surrounded with desire. Excited for him I not only returned the kiss but my feelings with the same fervor.
Gashmir stilled and stopped kissing. I stared at him as he closed his eyes. In the middle of kissing he moved above me. When he opened I knew the moment was gone and Gashmir has his distant look in the eyes.
Wordlessly, we kept staring. High on emotions, breathing heavily and with roaring hearts that keep begging to stop this childish act and be an adult.
"We should sleep," Gashmir breathed out, maybe, after realizing where our actions were leading to. But mostly to detach himself away.
I pushed him and turned my back as tears didn't wait to waste a second and fell continuously from my eyes. I got rejected twice on the same night. Is this how it always will be?! Warm and cold. Weren't we the same before we decided to give us a chance?! What's different now?!
I heard him sigh before he pulled me towards him, again. I fought to give in so easily, thrusting my arms and legs, aiming for him to leave me. Taken for granted was the last thing I wanted from Gashmir.
He turned me around and I slapped his chest away, sobbing uncontrollably. He didn't stop my assault for some time as I cursed him, "You are a jerk. I knew from the start, still I believed in giving you a chance. You idiot, selfish, narcissist, what you think of yourself. I will make sure that you will regret when I leave your___"
I got cut off mid sentence when his lips attacked mine. His lips were hard on mine as if punishing me for an unforgettable crime. My hands got held by him above my head as Gashmir kissed me with all the possession. With my failed attempts, I waited for his assault to stop. To be honest, I didn't try hard.
Because I want him, all of him.
"I gave you the chance to leave, didn't I?!" He mumbled in between the kissing, however didn't stop. Just softening a bit, he continued his torture with his tongue. "Now, you are stuck with me."
I gasped as I felt something hard poking my inner thigh. My beat further increased its pace. Is that?! Until now, I didn't realize that my excitement was only an excitement. And I was so thankful that at least Gashmir understood that I truly wasn't ready for that.
Gashmir sighed against my lips, waiting for me to react. Taking my silence he lifted himself a little to stare at me, shamelessly saying, "Now you know how hard it is for me to control."
The assurance was enough for me that he wasn't backing away. Then why did he act that way earlier? Why does he need to control himself?! Cause I sure don't want him to. What was it that was standing in between his feelings?!
Perceiving that my hands were free I cupped his face, bringing so close to my lips so they could touch. But I didn't kiss. I murmured against his lips, my breath warm on his, "Then why do you?!"
"I don't want you to regret anything." The vulnerability in his voice wasn't something I expected. And it didn't go unnoticed. My heart ached for him. Whatever it was holding him back, it must not be simple. "We don't have to rush things. We can keep things slow,"
His concern was so touching that I almost thought to give up and listen. However, my feelings for him were true and I wanted him to feel too. I want him to know that I trust him. I want him to believe in himself. I want him to fight his demons and fight for me.
Though I'm not ready, I know I have to. I know it will be now or never.
Whatever this was keeping him distant, I wanted him to resolve it as soon as he could. And for that, I have to do what I can. I have to give him my trust, my care, my love.
With that thought in mind, I decided to take things further.
Leaving his face, I lifted my top slowly, above my head. All while staring Gashmir in the eyes. His eyes roamed over my naked half as I saw desire clouding in them. That gave me confidence and I removed my pants too. Leaving myself nothing in but my undies. I want him to know how willingly I want it to be with him. He is the first guy that has seen me this naked. And I want him to know that I wanted him to be that guy.
I hadn't been in any kind of physical activities before.
Not giving another chance to back away, cause that will leave me beyond humiliation. I encircled my arms around his neck, bringing him down. I whispered, seductively, "Don't you think we are slow enough to wait for two years?!"
I felt him smirk against my lips, amusement dancing in his eyes. Glad that I could change his mood. He whispered, "That long, huh?! Do you think we can change it tonight?!"
My hold tightened around his neck as he lowered himself into me. A shiver ran down my spine as I bit my lips to keep myself from moaning. I didn't realize that I started grinding myself against him. But that helped satisfy the throbbing down there.
"Yes, please," I gasped when Gashmir touched me down there. Though my undies served as a barrier, that didn't stop the ecstasy from reaching there.
"Keya, I want you to be sure___" I cut him off with my groan. As I whined for him to act along, "Stop being an ugly hindrance, Gashmir. And guide me."
He raised an amused brow. I was almost certain that my eager expressions were the only reason behind his strong resolve to dissolve. Because the next second I saw Gashmir throwing his shirt after he removed it. And the pants before he said, "As you wish baby."
☆☆☆
The continous blaring noise disturbed my sleep. And I found myself awake and staring at my phone so that it could burn in flames. But my eyes don't spit fire. So my phone was safe.
Grabbing it I saw so many missed calls from my best friend. And Diya, Kanan. And Sakash?! What on earth happened?!
I immediately dialed Aj, as I waited for her to pick up. And she did in the second ring. "What___?" Aj cut me off with her questions. Worry was visible in her voice. And fear of something.
"Where are you?! Have you seen the clip?! No, no. Don't look at it if you haven't. Just tell me where you are. And stay there until I reach. I'll be there in no time." She said hurriedly.
Even after she finished I remained silent. Imprecise as to what to say. I frown, wondering what I missed? I know Aj sometimes talks nonsense. Whom am I kidding, most of her talks don't make sense. But why so early?!
Also I hardly got any sleep last night. Cause Gashmir and I had rounds of sex. That bastard didn't stop once started. Consuming my most of the night.
"Keya, don't be so quiet. Please, say something." Aj's concerned voice brought me back from my wild thoughts. God, I'm such a bad friend.
"Adhi, I am fine and I really don't know what are you fretting over. Just know that I'm as good as I could." I chuckled lastly.
"You haven't seen the video." She asked.
Frowning, I asked, "What video?!"
"Nothing," she gushes, further asking, "where are you now?!"
I looked around Gashmir's room and the clothes that we threw yesterday were now neatly folded on the table. I contemplate whether to reveal or stay quiet. However, this time I don't want to hide things from my best friend.
"Umm, I'm at Gashmir's." I mumbled. I hope she won't judge me. For some reason, I felt that she wouldn't approve of my relationship with him. Cause she always advised me to stay clear of him.
"What are you doing there?!" Her voice strained as she asked. And I feel sad about the change in her mood. Before I asked her, I heard her sighing and saying, "Doesn't matter. I am on my way. I know you wouldn't listen but try not to see your mobile."
After the call ended, I searched my mobile for any suspicious video. Surprisingly, I found a link on the college whatsapp group. Though, Aj warned, I got curious and opened it. Regretting not listening for once.
The contents stunned me and I felt sick to the core. As the video proceeded, I felt like throwing my mobile and destroying the clip instantly. That wouldn't erase the clip as it already may have reached thousands of people.
My hands shook and my mobile fell from my hands. With the wobbling legs I dragged myself out of the room. Gashmir. Has he seen it?! What will he think?! Will he believe me?! The thoughts clouded my mind as I hastily reached the living room.
I saw Gashmir furiously throwing his mobile on the wall. All my questions were answered by his actions. He glared as I came into the view. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I tried to explain. However, no words left my mouth.
I saw Gashmir leaving and banging the door behind through my blurry vision. I rushed to the room and wore the shorts over Gashmir's shirt that he gave me and hurried behind him.
"Gashmir, let me explain." I cried.
As soon as I reach him the elevator door closes on me. I saw all my hopes vanishing in the thin air as it descended down. And Gashmir doesn't bother stopping.
Though determined, I ran down the stairs to reach the bottom. Ignoring the ache pulsing through my body, mostly back.
I can't let it slip easily, again, after we came this long. Hadn't we faced enough problems already?! I thought at least from now on we wouldn't be having any. Or at least will face together if any comes our way. Thinking about happy endings was it a sin?!
I hope to reach the parking lot before Gashmir leaves with his car. But the thing I saw on reaching left me hanging. Gashmir was beating Kabir and the guy was laughing, taking his blows without fighting.
"I told you to keep her away. I told you I was serious this time. It was between us. Why do you have to involve her?! You sick bastard." Gashmir yelled, throwing punches after punches. I hadn't seen him this furious before. He was beating him, insanely.
And the frightening thing was Kabir wasn't even defending. He was just smiling, menacingly. Kabir coughed blood, saying, "I am glad that I am not the only one who wants to see you destroyed. Aah!"
"You had problems with me. It was I who you should have dealt with." Gashmir roared. That brought me back. I blinked, and looked around for help. I am afraid that I won't be able to stop him.
Realizing it was only three of us and a dozen cars, I stepped forward. Kabir saw me coming and chuckled, shaking his head. Ignoring his menacing ways, I called Gashmir. To my surprise, he heard in the first attempt. I thought I would have to struggle to gain his attention.
He pushed Kabir away, stood and turned to me. His face held no expressions as he drank my tear stained face. Not wasting a second, I ran and hugged him tight. Afraid that he will leave again without listening.
"I don't know anything about the video. I swear. There is nothing like that. Someone is playing tricks on me." I told him in one breath. When I didn't hear any reply from him, I grabbed his shirt tight. Scared that he will push me.
"Gashmir, we promised to trust each other. You have to believe me in this. If you want you can also confirm it from Kanan. But there was nothing going on like that was in the video."
"He knows, Keya." Kabir said. And I felt Gashmir stiffened.
Confused, I frowned. He knows?! How?! Does that mean he trusts me?! Then why did he run?! Why wasn't he saying anything?!
I felt the land slipping down my foot as I heard Kabir's next words.
"Cause he was the one who shot that video."
A/N: Sorry for the late. I hope you all haven't stopped reading the story yet.
Also, the chapter isn't proofread. I'll try to fix it asap. But I was excited to upload it as soon as I finished writing.
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